CHAPTER FOUR :

After a little awkwardness when Buffy first crossed the threshold of the Winters' home, something she hadn't done since she was eleven or twelve years old, she realized that little changed. The room was still warm and comfortably furnished although a few of the grander items appeared to have gone astray and for the briefest of moments she wondered just how hard things were for them after Mr. Winters left. She shook the unpleasant memory of a bright boy turned sullen, angry teen from her minds eye and focused on the group of people she was seeing as if for the first time, despite encountering most of them every day. They were all friendly, although a bit nervous, which is more that she could have said for her own so called friends. Tara had told her all about her plans for UCLA and moving there to be close to some guy called Fred, or at least Buffy assumed that Fred was a guy. When she heard Willow refer to Fred as a 'she' and Spike make a teasing remark about it always being the quite ones Buffy almost swallowed her gum!

She was beginning to think that there was more to this little group than she ever imagined. She noticed the way Xander was nervous whenever Anya was around and the encouraging looks Anya was giving an unaware Xander. She saw how comfortable Willow and Oz were together, just sitting arm in arm in natural and genuine intimacy. It surprised her to see them as a couple but more surprising was the fact that they had clearly been together for a while because no one else noticed it as odd. It made her feel warm, like she was in the company of real friendship and at the same time she was a little sad that she was not really a part of their world.

Tara was standing to one side laughing and joking with Spike. There was a special friendship shared there, even she could see it. It wasn't as deep as the one he shared with Willow and Xander but it was a tangible comfort. It flowed freely between all of them, like within these walls and while in each others company they were free to be the purest versions of themselves. Tara was more confident, Xander was less clumsy and showed more of what turned out to be a sharp sense of humor. Willow was less coy, Oz was more openly affectionate and even Anya seemed to be less uptight. It made Buffy feel privileged to be invited into such a warm party and at the same time terribly lonely because she didn't belong in this world, at least not yet.

About fifteen minutes later the doorbell chimed and two younger people entered, their arms filled with Pizzas and junk food. The young girl looked vaguely familiar but the guy, he was defiantly Angel's little brother. In all the time they were dating Angel never talked much about his family and never really took the time to introduce her. The boy appeared slimmer and less arrogant than Angel, like he was unaware of how handsome he was. His skin was paler and he looked a little startled to see Buffy sitting in the midst of the gathering, but strangely none of the group seemed surprised to see the teenage couple. The young girl, an ebony beauty even at her tender age, came and sat by Buffy after hugging Willow and Tara.

"It's like feeding time at the zoo hey? Between Xander and Spike the rest of us are lucky to eat at all. I'm Dawn by the way."

The young girl smiled openly and Buffy felt instantly at ease, like they really should have known each other all their lives.

At that point a cushion came flying through the air at Dawn who ducked just in time.

"I am so telling your mum on you," she challenged, to which Spike replied "Nibblet, don't even think about it!"

He then bared his teeth and growled. He looked so much younger in this setting, less guarded. Dawn just openly laughed at the apparently common antics.

"Don't even try it, you know I don't believe any of that Vampire rot!"

Spike smirked, "Careful now Bit, you're startin' to sound like me."

Dawn just rolled her eyes. Smiling inwardly at the display Buffy decide that since she was already in enemy territory she might as well satisfy her curiosity.

"Dawn, that's a really pretty name." Buffy smiled encouragingly.

"Oh thanks, my mum is kind of unconventional but I like it."

Buffy smiled again.

"How did you and Connor get to be part of 'The Misfits'?"

The second she said it she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. How could she insult them by using a snobby label on the people who were being nicer to her than her own friends?

As if sensing her train of thought Dawn patted her arm.

"Don't worry, we all like it, it suits us! The guys said it started as a mean jab by Angel and his crew, oh...sorry, but it is sort of true and really who wants to be ordinary huh?"

Dawn smiled reassuringly before continuing.

"I met the guys when I moved her last year and I was initiated about six months ago. Connor is my boyfriend, has been for a few months now, he only got initiated about a month ago though."

Dawn's brow creased when she realized just who she was talking to, "You won't tell Angel on us will you? He already gives Connor a really hard time."

Buffy didn't see what the big deal was but Dawn's eyes looked pleading and so she promised and made a zipping motion with her hand over her mouth. Dawn laughed.

As Spike approached the pair Buffy couldn't understand why her stomach tightened. Dawn flashed Buffy a killer smile.

"You know you're not at all the self-opinionated and highly strung woman Spike made you out to be."

Spike tugged on the feisty brunette's hair lightly.

"I never said that."

Dawn just smirked "No? What was it you called her, a self-righteous bint?"

Dawn artfully poked her tongue out at him then. It was at that moment that Connor decided to capture said tongue in a kiss. It appeared that he then remembered that Buffy was there and backed off, reaching out his hand.

"Hi, I'm Connor, it's nice to finally meet you. Spike has told us lots about you."

Dawn then slapped the poor boy upside the head and stage whispered as they moved away.

"Isn't she your brother's girlfriend?"

"Yeah, but he hardly ever talks about her anymore!" Came the barely audible response.

Spike squared his shoulders just a little. He hadn't spoken to her much over the last few years. They had gone back to ignoring each other. He wasn't upset anymore about her outburst back in the day. They were different people now. She was still the most infuriating and complicated woman he was ever likely to meet but there was a flicker of hope that refused to die out. There was hope that away from her brain dead clique maybe they might all be friends.

"So...long time huh, Goldilocks?"

She glared at the childhood nickname, most likely on reflex.

"Come on now, I'm making with the nice here."

Since when did he lose his capacity for intelligent speech? Spike cleared his head.

"Come fight for some pizza before Harris eats everything."

"I resent that man." Was the muffled reply coming from the kitchen seconds before Xander appeared with another pizza box.

"I refer you to the box eating incident of 2003." Willow reminded him.

"Hey now! That was a dare and you all know it!"

There was more laughter and banter through dinner and Buffy began to wonder what else she had missed about this deceptively ordinary group. The more she though about it the more she hoped that she still had a chance to be a part of this group. If only she could figure out if Spike could ever forgive her and trust her again. If only she knew why it would mean so much to her if he could.