We are never the same after someone has first loved us. The self the other sees hangs in the mirror at least part of the time.

— Marge Piercy, "May Apple"

Nami stared at the small stack of books on her desk. She had forgotten about them until Robin mentioned that the librarian had brought them to her office. Before, she had been distracted by there being no gifts. He had given her presents every morning since the wedding. So what had changed from then to now?

Or last night?

The only thing that occurred to her was that he hadn't sucked her blood. Did he apologize with gifts in that case?

"I love you."

She shivered, closing her eyes as if that might block the thought out. Nothing else of import had happened. Love? Monsters couldn't love.

Nami wasn't surprised to not see the book about his wives. She would have to find it herself without him over her shoulder — or her on his lap. With a shake, she pouted over a book before she turned to Conis. "I'm surprised the librarian knew I wanted these."

Conis smiled ever brighter, hands clasped to her cheeks. "The Lord Conqueror said you wanted them apparently."

"I see," Nami said. She had suspected that already. To hear it though …

"He's been so excited since you came here, m'lady!"

She raised a brow. "He smiles about everything."

But her maid's head tilted, confused. "He does?" Conis blinked before she smiled secretively, covering her mouth before she shared that grin with Robin. "Oh!"

As if that made any sense.

Rolling her eyes, Nami opened a book to peruse until the door to her foyer opened, and she grimaced. Usopp stepped up with a beaming face. "Good morning, Lady Conqueror!" Book snapped shut, she squinted at him. "Ah, well, you see, seamsters are coming with some fashion plates. They'd like to know what you're wearing to the ball next week."

Nami blinked. "Ball?"

"We received an acceptance of talks with Alabasta. Their delegation is coming, and the Lord Conqueror declared we would hold a ball in their honor."

She pursed her lips, drumming her fingers on the cover before she sighed. "I suppose." Nami shook her head, opening her book, but she frowned at him. "What's with the talks anyway? Isn't he the Lord Conqueror? He could just … conquer them."

Straightening, his eyes widened with a flash of confusion there. "You're the one reading history books, so you tell me. You're his wife."

Nami twitched. Perhaps she should just ask him herself, but after yesterday, she wasn't so certain that she wanted to display an interest in his political affairs. After all, she might end up alone in his conference room again, and he might say something ridiculous. Like that he loved her. She couldn't have that.

"So I can read now?"

Usopp straightened expectantly, smiling that nervous smile that told her that she wouldn't like or want whatever he would say. When she squinted, he looked ready to shrink back.

"Yes, Usopp?"

"The Lord Conqueror is entertaining the Flevance Alliance tonight. He's asked you to attend with him."

She could still remember the conference room and the pearl necklace, but they wouldn't party in an office. The drinks after the signing had been something else. So was being on her knees.

So not there. Silly things wouldn't be said there.

Not too silly.

Had Usopp left this for now while she kept saying yes?

"Where?"

"The North Hall, my Lady."

Sighing, Nami watched Usopp tense and un-tense as if seeing something in every little motion she made. "I suppose."

She smoothed her hands over her blue and gray day bodice, trying to recall how the night bodice for these skirts looked. This had beaded work in grays winding in spirals down her sleeves with a random brighter blue threaded in here and there. Would she need something better though?

"Call my maids then. And the seamster." Camie would know better than her.

Usopp shifted for a moment. "Would you like a refreshment while you wait?"

Her mouth opened before she froze. She eyed him, pursing her lips. They brought silphium to her somehow. Yet although the idea of being made to ingest it worried her, Nami conceded that perhaps the Lord Conqueror had been right to give it to her.

A baby with fangs …

"I'll wait until lunch," she finally said.

Preaching a Religion: The 8000 Commandments of the Disciples of God Usoland

Would she find what she searched for here? Did other people know what he was? What did they call him instead of the Lord Conqueror? Nami tried to lose herself in the book until the seamsters came.

When they filed in, Camie came in at the lead. She beamed, clasping her hands before she tutted over the night bodice Nami had pulled out on her own.

"That wouldn't do at all."

Why make it at all then? Nami kept quiet though as she agreed in a sense. Perhaps if she dined alone with—

Nami started, her mind stumbling to a halt. There was no chance of her entertaining him! What was she thinking? Sighing, Nami bowed her head as Conis and Robin came around to help undo laces.

At least the petticoats would do fine.

White moire silk molded around her, laces and frills gone and replaced with violet embroidery, beaded with amethysts. When she spun, the gems glittered, but the moire rippled too like the inside of an oyster shell. She stroked her elbow high gloves with no small measure of awe. The seamster really knew how to make an effect.

"Thank you, Camie. This really is better."

"Of course! The other night bodice is for dinner. Not a celebration like this."

Nami pursed her lips, but nodded. At a knock, she said, "Is that Usopp? Let him in."

He peeked in, head bowed first before he lifted his head at a sniff from her. As if she'd let him inside if she was naked. "M'lady, you're ready for tonight?"

"As I'll ever be." She squinted at him again, and sweat poured at once from his brow. "This isn't some ball that I should be concerned about. Is it?"

"No, no! There's to be some dancing, but the North Hall is better set up for dining and such entertainment."

She frowned, not sure what to think of that. Of all the things she enjoyed here was dancing after all. "Is it ready yet?"

"They're going to allow the guests in soon."

"I guess I really am as ready as I can ever be then."

"Lady Conqueror, you'll knock them out," Conis said, and, behind her, Usopp's jaw dropped before he waved his hands and shook his head before he composed himself.

Despite it all, Nami smiled. "I promise I'll only step on the Lord Conqueror's feet, Usopp."

He went whiter than the moon at that, but he led her out.

Inside, the Lord Conqueror smiled from the side of a steaming table. When he swept his own white moire silk cape back to show his violet suit, Nami flushed all over when she realized the other reason Conis had chosen her gown. For a moment, she considered going back on her word to go stomp on Conis' toes a few times.

Still, when he raised his hand toward her as if he would lead her into a dance, Nami's feet moved.

"You're stunning." His thumb traced over her collarbone, squeezing her shoulder, and she couldn't stop the shiver, recalling his hand on her throat instead. He must have understood because he grinned so broadly. "No pearls?"

She smacked his arm, furious in red. "I wanted amethysts to match the rest."

Conis had offered pearls. Said they would be a little less ostentatious. Except she couldn't wear that. She could already see him slathering for more pearls around her neck — why feed that side? No matter how thirsty she got.

"Anyway, the guests are coming soon, so you can stop drooling."

The Lord Conqueror smiled. "You first."

Her mouth snapped shut, lips sucking in only to jump as a manservant at the doors called out, "Lord Law of House Trafalgar, acting Governor in the grace of the Lord Conqueror—"

It went on like that. A long train of couples entered to mingle around the many tables, food in easy reach for partaking.

Nami found a table with little bowls of soup. Luffy tagged at her side with his mug, talking with the dignitaries. Her shoulders had to hunch with every glance at her. Did they expect something from her? Or perhaps they just wanted to watch her. She had no idea what that was about though. What could it mean?

She scowled at the Lord Conqueror, and his only answers were grins.

"Lady Conqueror. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Biting back a sigh, she turned only to see that Lord Law from before and a young woman with brunette hair in long intricate pigtails on his arm. Nami eyed her and reassessed the two at once. Wasn't she a little young? She knew some countries let people marry younger, but what was she? Sixteen? Eighteen?

She resisted the urge to shudder. Imagine me marrying that idiot so young. Nami blinked at herself. Wouldn't it have just meant she would have married the Lord Conqueror that much earlier? He had institutionalized marriage at twenty only anyway, so not marrying him then was his doing. That ball had been lined up perfectly for her birthday too. Even twenty felt too young, but she couldn't imagine marrying at eighteen.

Just one thing to thank him for. Only two years, but even so that felt like an age away. Would he have even chosen her at eighteen years? Nami frowned, turning that over. How much had she changed?

As Law bowed his head over her hand, she tried to smile though. It was their country anyway. Even if the Lord Conqueror had swallowed their country, they couldn't just annul the marriage if they already went through with it. It would stop from now on at least.

The girl — younger woman beamed so though, curtsying in a bouncing bob. "It's nice to meet you, Lady Conqueror!"

She eyed the two still. Nami couldn't help it. The young woman appeared so bubbly compared to the stern featured Law. "It's nice to meet you. I believe I saw you yesterday, Lord Law? Who is …"

"My sister, Lammy."

Nami's jaw must have hit the floor because Law reddened. Lammy glanced between them though, a smile still in place while Nami floundered for words.

Rather than need pull words from a dropped stomach, Nami jumped when Luffy touched her back. "How are you, Lammy?"

"Oh, I'm terrific." Leaning in, Lammy giggled while Law sighed. "I've gotten so many fittings done here. Half the seamsters in the city have my measurements! I'll be able to order all the most stylish gowns of Ruskaina for back home! I adore the Lady Nami style, you know."

She blinked. She glanced at her own gown. "My style?"

"No, no, the one for dancing!" Lammy actually hopped in place.

"Oh, I see." Nami did not see. She wondered if the Lord Conqueror knew, but he only sipped his wi — blood. It had seemed so normal for a moment, Nami had to shake herself. "Well, I'm … glad you like it."

Nami couldn't tell whether or not she wore this Lady Nami style anyway.

"It will be so grand!" Lammy paused long enough to glance around, but before she could spout out more, Law patted her hand.

"Why don't you calm yourself? The Lady Conqueror doesn't need to be pestered so."

"Oh, no, no, of course not. I was just wondering though." Law sighed as Lammy ignored him. "Where is the Lord Conqueror?"

Luffy smiled so widely behind his mug, taking another drink while Law gaped in abject horror at her. Nami swallowed her own wine hard. It would not do to laugh.

She cleared her throat to keep control.

"Why do you ask? You weren't introduced? I could—"

"Oh, no! I could never. The idea of it terrifies me so. Imagine meeting a god face-to-face! If I did or said something awful, he'd strike me down, wouldn't he? And everyone's been so scared since coming here, walking as if they're afraid they might kick his pet dog or something. Oh, but you're just so lovely, Lady Conqueror."

Nami's mouth finally closed. "Thank you?"

She glanced at the Lord Conqueror whose eyes twinkled away while Law sweated, a hot flush across his ears.

"You're just so pretty, and that dress style! Why the other girls back home will be so jealous. I bet they're already trying to order from some fashion plate that only just arrived today."

Law grunted. "Trading has only just started again, Lammy. The message about the signing is more important to send anyway."

Lammy waved at him though, pouting. "Pish posh. So's the fashion plates! Trading is just as important. And I'll have the first Lady Nami style gown in the whole province!"

He sighed, his eyes trailing to the amused Luffy. The returning grin made Law study her for some reason, but she just raised a brow.

"Oh, but excuse me! I never got your name, sir." Law broke into a sweat finally.

"Luffy," the Lord Conqueror said.

"How rude! Swearing in front of ladies like that and in the Lord Conqueror's own palace!" Lammy bunched her cheeks, glowering until Nami cleared her throat.

"That's his name. Lammy this is the Lord Conqueror."

Lammy blinked, pouting at him until she leaned in closer as if she might get a better look at him. When he chuckled, she laughed too, covering her mouth. "Why you're not scary at all! Law, you were worried about nothing!"

His grimace told Nami just what he thought of his sister blabbing all this in front of the Lord Conqueror. Yet again, his eyes turned to Nami, and she frowned.

"What? Worried about this lug?" Nami smacked his arm, and black eyes glistened so. "All he does is laugh and smile like an idiot."

Lammy laughed to hear it. "I see! What a lucky lady you are!"

"Ah," Law said.

Nami blinked, watching shoulders relax. Law sipped his wine, no longer eying her. He seemed to have figured something out? She squinted, but Law didn't burst into sweats like Usopp. And she didn't think she could get him to tell her anything in any case.

Maybe everyone from Flevance were just weird.

The Lord Conqueror passed his mug to a servant standing nearby before he took her hand. "Would you like to dance?"

She pouted, damning the flutter before she took his hand. "You see, Lammy? He's just silly."

Lammy giggled, curtsying when Luffy nodded his head to them. "We can speak later, Lord Law."

He twitched, but Law bowed. "If you wish, Lord Conqueror."

As he pulled her away, Nami heard Lammy. "Law, I want to dance too. How about we dance?"

"I could find someone else avail—"

"Don't be such a bore!"

"She's a delight," the Lord Conqueror said.

Nami sighed. "You'd have to wait to marry her. I don't think she's twenty."

"I don't think she's Lady Conqueror material."

"Oh, there's a material now? What am I made of then?" She scowled at him when he smiled slowly. "Stop that. Whatever that thought is."

"I think it's whatever is in tarts." He licked his lips, and Nami gaped. "Those still have a bite in them, don't they?"

Nami flushed as he brought her close. His hand rested on her waist, squeezing as they waited for the musicians to begin. "You don't know?"

"Not anymore."

Which made no sense. Not unless immortality meant he could never eat a tart again, and that was pure foolishness. Just because she had never seen him … "Well, they can be sharp, I suppose. Most are sweet though."

"Then not a tart." He pouted, but the music finally began, and so he spun her into their steps.

She sniffed. "I'll take not being sweet as a compliment."

"She is cute though. Maybe as cute as you."

Nami glanced at Lammy, but she was apparently searching for a dance partner. "I thought she was his wife. It's so strange. Why bring his sister along?"

"They always bring their girls, daughters and sisters and cousins. They're never the correct age though."

"Never twenty?"

"Some," he said.

"What are they bringing them for?" Except Nami thought she might know.

He shrugged, turning with her in the dance. "They think I might marry one of them one day."

"Have you?"

The Lord Conqueror tilted his head before he said, "Once."

"Why?"

He smiled — the slow one he had when he looked at her. "She was the correct age. And she nearly tore my head off."

Nami frowned. 'Correct age'?

"I see."

For a few more steps through the dance, Nami swayed with him in the music. The swells had her heart beating faster. Even though he squeezed her hand. And the sweet sound of the flute had her chest heave a little more. Even while he dipped and spun her in his arms. When she peeked at him, her eyes having closed to the rock of his motions, the Lord Conqueror smiled back. Warm. As if he didn't scare people just by knowing he existed. Immortal and unkillable. A god.

Don't look at me like that.

"You still haven't answered me from before."

Nami blinked, stiffening, but she eased through the dance. "Answered what?"

"About a child."

She skipped a step then, gaping. "You said we couldn't."

"Adopt?"

Something in her sank, but she sighed, tilting her head. Considered it. Why would he talk about it now? She asked, "You've done it before?"

"Quite a few times. Children are always a fun surprise. You seemed upset since you can't have a baby."

I just don't want to give them fangs …

Nami pursed her lips, brow furrowing. A baby would complicate her life so much. Was she not going to find a thing about his weaknesses? Surely something would give her the hint she needed. "I don't know. Maybe … it's hard, isn't it? Picking just one?"

"We can have as many as you like. One of my wives couldn't stop adopting."

His smile had her agape. "Just how many babies did she get anyway?"

"One. She mostly adopted children though. A few older kids."

That grin made sense then. Fond and full of warmth. She tried to imagine him with a boy on his lap or talking to some young person who was having a tantrum like she had many times with Bellemere. Hot headed was what she had been — still felt sometimes.

She couldn't see it though.

"You … liked it?"

"Kids are funny," he said, and Nami's brow pinched.

"Just that?"

"You could find out with me, you know."

"I—!" Awash in color, she tried to snort, eyes darting as if she might avoid someone else on the dance floor, but they only had a few couples out with them at the moment. "I have to think a little more on that, I think."

"If you like kids too, I wouldn't wait."

"I'm still young. I won't slow down that much if I wait a while."

The Lord Conqueror turned with her a few more rounds, and Nami blinked at the silence, wondering. Did he think she'd die before then? So why should she adopt if she would die so early? Even if she lived a full life with him, he would still go on …

"They usually can't wait."

Nami started, eyes wide as his smile shifted just so — warm still, but in some bitter way she could taste. Bellemere had found her and Nojiko under a bridge and taken them in immediately. She knew that they had needed her. Even just one parent. One person who loved them with all her heart and soul. Was that what reincarnation meant? To find the ones they loved again?

But she would kill him.

Yet they waited for her.

She swallowed nothing, voice quavering. "It's not that I would wait. I could …" Nami winced. Her precious time slipped from her fingers. "We could adopt."

"What are you wearing to the ball?"

Nami looked up from the history book with a flush. "Huh? Uh, a gown?"

"Nothing special?"

She fidgeted when she remembered the fashion plates that the seamsters had brought a few days before. "Just something kind of new."

Nojiko raised a brow. "Kind of new?"

"Apparently, the seamsters in the city heard about the first … the first gown I wore while dancing with the Lord Conqueror." Nami still couldn't wrap her head around that. Her? A fashion icon? Lady Nami style! She hadn't even been married to him for a month, and the world's ladies already turned to her for inspiration.

She wondered what they would do if she came out in a chemise instead. Nami darkened when she realized that she knew precisely what he would do.

"Oh, what's it look like?"

"It's just all petticoats. The skirt itself is very short."

Nojiko smiled. "That sounds exciting. I bet that's what caught his eye."

Nami turned away, trying to read another line from her book while her cheeks warmed. She tried to remember him as that instructor — the one that whisked her away, murmuring in her ear. His whispers turned to kisses though, taunting her while he canoodled with her on his knee.

Were her fantasies only about him now?

"I don't know about that."

Her sister frowned, head tilting. "Don't you know what dresses he likes on you?"

She sniffed, glancing at Bellemere who checked her measurements with some seamsters. Nami whispered, "I don't think he likes me much in gowns at all, Nojiko."

Giggling, Nojiko winked. "Right, right." Nojiko poked at her shoulder with a pout though. "I wish you'd tell me what was wrong."

If I tell you, you'd risk your life too. Nami closed her book before slipping it into the folds of her skirt for her pocket. "Nothing is wrong. I just — I'm getting used to things."

She raised a brow before her eyes darted to where her book had vanished. "Uh huh."

Bellemere finally swished over in her new gown, all light grays of various shades that shimmered in silk. "Lord Conqueror, look at you! You're still glowing!"

Nami caught herself checking her neck for a necklace he had fed her finger by finger, but she said, "That's because it's warm in here."

A full bedroom of seamsters and her family was quite enough to heat the room. Nami blinked when Bellemere pressed her hand to her forehead anyway, and she rolled her eyes, but smiled. "You're always worried about that."

"I almost lost both of you." Bellemere cupped her cheeks before she turned on Nojiko who laughed as Bellemere's hand went to her forehead next though she smiled in jest as well. "You were so tiny when I found you. My darling daughters."

"No one else would take us in," Nojiko said in mimicry of their mother's spiel.

Nami finally grinned. "We would have been fine. The doctor took care of those colds in a jiffy, I bet."

Bellemere gaped at her. "Lord Conqueror, if you had been born just a year earlier, I couldn't have afforded the costs!"

She gaped, the information stunning her, and she shared a glance with Nojiko. "Costs? What costs?"

"Costs for a cold?" Nojiko laughed, but her lips twitched, tightly awkward. "What, was there a tax on how high your fever was?"

Bellemere scoffed. "We used to pay the doctor to treat all illnesses!"

Gaping, Nami tried to wrap her head around that. No one paid for that sort of thing. What would it have been worth to a poor woman alone with two children? Nami chewed her lip. "That's awful …"

"I tried not to complain so much in front of you girls before, but you always knew how bad it was for us. You girls are smart. I suppose we don't have much to worry about now."

Nojiko shrugged, but her grin teased. "Except to find husbands of our own."

With wide eyes, Nami asked, "You're going husband hunting?"

The seamsters called Nojiko over for her fitting, and Nojiko headed over while Nami rose to trail after. Nojiko said, "Everyone keeps talking about it. We could find a husband in this ball or even a nobleman if we like. The Lord Conqueror has permitted us to marry up — he said they would be marrying up though. Isn't that funny? Us?"

A chill ran through her. What else had the Lord Conqueror said?

"He wants you to marry?"

"As your mother and sister, we would make good alliances for the kingdom," Bellemere said, touching her cheek. "I told him I was a little old, but he said I was more than a match for any young girl! How suave!"

Nami blinked until her eyes widened from the thought that sprung alive in her. Had any of his wives survived to Bellemere's age? While he stayed like he was? A hot flush threatened to form on her cheeks at the idea of herself getting older, but that young, tight body …

She frowned. And then he would live on, eternal and waiting for his next prey. Nami shook herself out of it. Besides, this was more important than his life of immortality. She had her family's mortal lives to worry over first. If he wanted them married off, didn't that mean—?

"You can't get married!"

Bellemere raised a brow at her. "Excuse me?"

"No!"

If they married, Bellemere and Nojiko would leave, and Nami would be left alone to the whims of the Lord Conqueror. They weren't really any protection, but at least they were there! She wouldn't even have that if they married some noblemen though.

Nojiko scowled. "Nami! Bellemere can get married if she wants!"

Standing her ground, Nami could only think of that man's schemes as she fumed. Not a god! Not him! "She's too old, and you both just got here anyway. You don't know how to act in court."

"You hardly seem to know either. You've only been here a week longer than us, but that doesn't mean you're some stuck up noble lady!" Nojiko shook her finger at Nami. "This isn't some silly child's game where you can look so far down your nose that you look at the sky. You can't act so hoity-toity around us. We're your family!"

"You may have forgotten, young lady," Bellemere seethed through her teeth, and Nami felt a tick of fear at her breast, "but I remember a little girl who would have gotten a good thrashing for being so rude. What's gotten into you!"

Pinched, exhausted, and red, Nami's eyes closed as one shoulder pitched as if to defend herself, but Nami couldn't say anything. Didn't they realize he was pushing them away from her? Separating them?

Yet was she doing the same thing as him?

They stared at her now, expecting something from her. In her own way, learned from Bellemere and Nojiko themselves, Nami knew they were right. A woman could marry whoever she liked. Whenever. But didn't they see her issue too?

She didn't know if the gowns and jewelry had blinded them or if an easy life was making them say it. Maybe faith.

The Lord Conqueror treated her well in their eyes.

They didn't know he would slowly kill her.

Nami ducked her head, chewing her lip and reminding herself. She was the sacrifice.

Bellemere and Nojiko gaped after Nami as she spun away. Out the door, she fled, eyes burning, but she could not cry now. "Nami!"