"So Lifelike!"
By GirlX2
EDIT
Its been brought to my attention that I fogot to acknowlage Geheimnis who wrote a wonderful story about her own Jack figure, and inspired me to finially get off my duff and post this one. While my story isn't DIRECTLY inspired by hers, as I had the idea before reading it,I would like to say her story is AWSOME.Go read it!
Now-Back to the story!
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The terrified scream was completely unanticipated by Jack. He immediately dropped the bottle and his pistol, clamping his hands to his ears.
"Bloody hell, that's loud!" He shouted once she stopped. "It was only a question."
"You…my…The hell…" She mumbled, eyes bugging out.
"My thoughts exactly when I awoke in this place." Jack said. "Could you tell me where we are?"
"I've cracked up." She managed. "I've gone insane."
Jack sighed impatiently. "If your going to have a dratted breakdown, I'll just find my own way home…"
"No!" She shouted, standing up on the bed. Slowly, she got off the bed. "Uh, what I mean to say is, you shouldn't. Not by yourself."
"Ah, and what are the chances a lovely young lass like yourself would help me?" He flashed her the gold teeth again.
"First things first." She approached him, towering above the wooden platform he was on. "Exactly how did you come to life?"
"What?"
"Well, when I purchased you last week-"
"Purchased?" Jack yelled. "Strumpet, I'll have you know slavery is one thing Captain Jack Sparrow don't hold with!"
"No, its not-I didn't-" Her hands fumbled in midair as she tried to explain. "Look at this!"
She held up a box of some kind. It was clear, revealing a poster on the inside. A picture of Jack was centered, along with the words 'Pirates of The Caribbean Jack Sparrow Action figure. Rum bottle, sword, pistol, and hat included!"
"When I bought you, you were a toy." She explained. "And now, you most definitely are not."
"Damn right." Jack murmured, staring at the picture. "I'm not made of clay and paint."
"Plastic, actually." She corrected him. "But yeah, your definitely real. For one thing, you've cut yourself."
Jack noticed the blood dribbling from his hand. He'd received it in his escaped from the house. "Just a scratch, love."
"I'd get you a band-aid, but it'd be the size of a sling to you." She lamented.
Jack didn't ask was a 'band-aid' was. "What's your name? You seem to know mine."
"Dana. Dana Braxton." She managed. "Delighted to make your acquaintance, Captain Sparrow."
"Jack to me friends." He told her, secretly pleased at her knowledge of his rank.
"Right. It seems like we'll need to talk quite a bit to sort this out." She sighed. "I'd like to move you to another area though. Would you mind if-?"
She held out her hand.
"Ah, yes. Just go easy on the goods." Jack replied, hiding his nervousness.
Her fingers curled gently around his midsection. She lifted him slowly into the air. She made her way back to the bed, setting him down on a mound of blankets. He sank several inches, losing the tops of his boots in a sea of green cloth.
Dana stretched out on her stomach in front of him. Despite the strangeness of the situation, Jack had enough wits about him to steal a glance at her rather bountiful bosom. Once she'd finished settling down, they were nearly eye-to-eye.
"You'd better go first. I already know about your first adventure with Will and Elizabeth, so you can skip that." She said.
"How-"
"Believe me Jack, I'll tell you all about it."
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Jack sat and listened in amazement. Dana had informed him that not only 300 years that had passed, but that the whole world knew of his exploits by way of moving pictures (A concept he didn't fully understand, but he let it go for the time being). Then, they'd further gone to create toys (Collectibles, Dana insisted.) of him, his allies, and his enemies.
"It's a bit much to take, love. It is nice to know that the world still appreciates my magnificence." He said smugly.
"They certainly didn't underplay your ego." Dana smiled. "The question at hand however, is just how do we get you home? It seems like that drink is what brought you here."
"Well, I've left the bottle on the shelf." Jack pointed back to the massive shelf where he'd come from. "Would you?"
"Oh, sure." Dana grabbed tiny bottle, and handed it to him.
"There's a good bit left." Jack grinned. "Soon this'll all be a run-soaked dream."
Dana looked a bit disappointed, but nodded. "Yeah, you'd better be getting back. Its probably not a good idea to have a pirate in my bedroom-even if he is only seven inches tall."
"All depends on where the seven inches are placed, love."
"Sheesh, is it all about sex with you?"
"Pirate."
Dana burst out laughing. "Just drink it before we both lose our minds."
Jack closed his eyes as he drank. The liquid ran quickly down his throat, producing no extraordinary sensation. He opened his eyes, revealing Dana looking down at him anxiously.
"I think we have a problem…"
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