"So Lifelike!"
By GirlX2
Thanks to my reviewers...both of 'em. :)
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"Maybe I should hide in your purse."
"Jack, I'm gonna have to tell someone about you, and Matt is one of the few people on this earth I'd trust." Dana told the pirate.
Jack paced the sand in front her. Dana was sitting cross-legged and massaging her swollen ankle.
"I've 'ad to deal with my share of angry lovers in my day, and meeting one that could squish me has me slightly worried." Jack replied sarcastically.
"Matt'll be cool." Dana assured the tiny pirate. "He's a fan, like me."
"And exactly how does this lad feel about your interest in me?"
"Uh…"
"Exactly." Jack crossed his arms.
"I'll break it to him gently." Dana placed her hand palm up on the ground. Sighing, Jack stepped onto it and sat cross legged. She lifted him so they were eye-to-eye.
"I'll put you into my pocket, and you just have to be quiet until I take you out."
"If word of this ever gets back to Tortuga, I'll be laughed out of the Caribbean." Jack lamented as he was placed into Dana's coat pocket.
"Shh, I can see him pulling up." Dana's voice filtered through the cloth.
Jack wobbled as the cloth shifted under his feet.
"Hey!" Dana called. The 'walls' around Jack shook as she moved. He gulped nervously.
"Oh my God, your ankle!" A male voice said.
"I'm fine-"
"No, you're not! Its all swollen." The voice argued.
"I just need to put some ice on it. Help me up?"
"What happened?"
"I slipped." Dana replied.
Jack felt his stomach drop as Dana was helped to her feet. He was jerked up and down as she hobbled forwards. Finally, Dana stopped and sat back down.
"Listen, I need to talk to you about something important." Dana said.
"I don't like the sound of that."
"No, its nothing bad." She assured him.
"Then don't scare me like that." The man joked.
"Well, its pretty big"
"Okay, back to being worried."
"Remember how you were complaining about the fact that I was obsessed with 'Pirates of the Caribbean'?" Dana asked.
"Yeah, considering it was last night."
"Okay then, with that in mind, I want to say this 'I didn't do anything'. This whole situation is a complete surprise to me."
"What? Did you win tickets to meet Johnny Depp or something?" The man sounded anxious.
"Um…no."
"Then what?"
"Remember the Jack action figure I bought?"
"Yes."
"Well…" Dana's fingers curled around Jack, and brought him into the open. "Last night, he became a lot more active."
Jack if it hadn't been for the sheer size difference, Jack would have forgone any notion of the man harming him. A skinny teenaged boy was starting down at him. Long black hair framed a pale, blue-eyed face. He stared down at Jack blankly.
"Okay, I'm lost." Matt said. "He looks like a normal action figure."
"That sounds like the opportune moment to me." Jack piped up.
Matt's eyes widened. His jaw dropped open, and he withdrew against the wall of…whatever they were in.
"It…talked!" He gasped.
"He, not it." Dana said. "This is the actual Captain Jack Sparrow."
Matt's eyes snapped to hers. "How?"
"We're not exactly sure." Dana admitted. "Last night after we got off the phone, he was just…alive."
"I don't freakin' believe this." Matt extended a finger and poked the pirate in the stomach.
"Hey, watch it!" Jack snapped, and withdrew his sword. "Just because you're the size of the bloody colossus, don't think I won't run you through!"
"That's Jack Sparrow all right." Matt said breathlessly.
"Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack said moodily. He hadn't appreciated being poked.
"Put that away." Dana placed the pirate onto the dashboard of the small car. Jack complied and walked the length of it, inspecting it with great interest.
"Love, what is this?"
"Its called a car. Its like a carriage, but with its own motor." Dana replied.
"Hey, don't call her that." Matt said protectively, recovering from the shock. "She's my girlfriend."
"Would you prefer I called her 'Strumpet', whelp?" Jack challenged.
"Hey, don't call me that!" Matt growled.
"Whelp." Jack smirked.
Matt looked back at Dana. "Is he this annoying with you?"
"Ah…no." Dana blushed slightly. "He's been nice to me."
"Nice, or nice for a pirate?"
"Um…The latter."
"Don't you dare impugn my honor, boy. I've been nothing but a gentleman." Jack growled.
Matt gave the pirate a skeptical look. "Uh-huh."
"Look, its not important." Dana waved her hands. "What is important-"
"Is getting some ice on that ankle." Matt cut in. "After that, I can go quietly insane."
A relieved look spread over Dana's face. "I knew you'd understand."
Jack watched as the two kissed. After a few moments, he began tapping his foot impatiently. Young love, wonderful as it was, wasn't going to get them home. Finally, Dana moved back, and snapped a belt over her chest. Matt inserted a key into the wheel.
That's when Jack's mind overloaded.
The engine roaring to life below his feet sent the pirate into a panic. Immediately, he jumped from the dashboard and into Dana's lap, shrieking. Dana, taken aback by Jack's apparent terror, quickly gathered him into her hands.
"Matt, turn it off, he's freaking out!" Dana ordered. Matt quickly switched the ignition off.
"What…was…that?" Jack lay trembling in her hands.
"It was just the engine. Remember, the boat had one too?" Dana said soothingly.
"The boat did not sound like that." Jack wrapped his arms around himself.
"I'm sorry. I should have warned you." Unable to hug to the terrified Captain, Dana began to stroke his back with her finger. Slowly, the shaking smoothed out and Jack regained his composure. He pulled himself into a sitting position.
"The next time you're going to start up a mechanism that sounds like the demons of Hell, I'd appreciate a bit of notice." His eyes were downcast.
"I keep forgetting this is all new to you." Dana said sadly. "Matt, could you start it a little softer this time?"
"Yeah, of course." Matt nodded. Slowly, he turned the engine over, eliciting shivers from the pirate. Dana's fingers curled protectively around him.
"I'm not going to let anything happen to you." She promised.
"Love, I doubt you or any other force on this earth could stop things from happening to me." Jack looked up at her, smiling wistfully.
"Maybe you should stay in my pocket until we get home. The ride could be a little nerve-wracking." Dana's large face filled with concern.
Jack shook his head. "Its seeming ever more likely I'll be here for a long time. I'll need to get used to such things."
Dana nodded. "Okay. Lets roll."
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