"So Lifelike!"

By GirlX2

Thanks for all the great reviews everyone. They're really encouraging.

-

The first part of the ride home wasn't as bad as Dana feared. Jack, able to only see the top of the windows, was spared the sight of thousands of other cars whizzing past. But when a horn blared behind them, he'd jumped from her hands onto the floor and crawled under the seat. They'd pulled over so Dana could coax him out.

"C'mon Jack, come back out. Please?" She pleaded to the seat.

"No!"

"Jack, if you don't come outta there…" She trailed off, realizing a passerby was giving her a strange look.

"My new, uh…hamster got loose." She improvised lamely. The pedestrian quickly hurried on.

"This is going well." Matt said dryly, joining her outside the car.

"Well smartass if you've got any ideas be my guest!" Dana snapped.

"Okay, I will!" Matt crouched next to the seat. "Oi, Sparrow."

"Captain." Came the moody reply from under the seat.

"Well, you're not acting like a Captain. It was just a horn, for God's sake. It's less jarring than cannon fire." Matt said.

" S' different." Jack replied sullenly.

"Are you going to come out from there and act like a Captain, or will you be needing my girlfriend to coddle you some more?" Matt demanded. "And note that I said coddle, not cuddle."

Slowly, the Captain squirmed out from under the seat.

"Once I'm used to this world, I'll be getting you back." He pointed menacingly at Matt.

"Yeah yeah, lets just get home." Dana snatched the Captain and slammed the door shut before anyone could see him.

-

The rest of the ride passed without incident. Matt had to help Dana into the (thankfully) empty house. Jack, from his perch on Dana's shoulder, was less than impressed with the house. One story, and with no discernable valuables, as far as he could see.

"Can I turn on the TV or is he gonna freak again?" Matt asked sarcastically as he helped Dana to the couch.

"I haven't introduced him to television yet." Dana admitted while Matt grabbed an icepack.

"What's 'Telly-visine'?" Jack hopped onto the arm of the couch, bouncing slightly.

"Tell-ee-vision." Dana corrected him. "Remember when I told you about moving pictures? Same thing."

Dana flipped the TV on and muted it. Jack stared at the images. A commercial for menswear flashed onscreen.

"And you're sure those are only pictures?" Jack asked quietly.

"Absolutely." Dana nodded. "Want me to turn the sound on?"

As the menswear gave way to a Victoria's secret commercial, Jack nodded enthusiastically.

"I'm gonna regret this." Dana lamented, switching the sound on.

-

An hour later, Jack was still zombiefied by the TV. Dana's ankle had stiffened under the icepack. She lay sprawled across Matt's legs.

"And we have no idea of how to get him home?" Matt asked.

"Unless you've taken a class in the occult that I'm unaware of, no."

Matt sighed. "I'm just asking."

"Well, you and I are the only ones who know he's here. We've gotta keep this quiet." Dana insisted. "Can you imagine what would happen if this got public?"

"For one thing, Johnny Depp would freak." Matt said.

"Who's that man you keep mentioning?" Jack finally tore his eyes from the screen.

"Um…He's the guy who performs you in the moving pictures." Dana said.

"Well, he must be an excellent actor to get me right." Jack replied, slightly puffed up.

"Maybe later we'll watch it." Matt's eyes gleamed.

"Uh, bad idea." Dana shook her head. "Why don't we have a bite to eat instead?"

"I can get a pizza." Matt offered.

"Wot's a pizza?" Jack asked.

Dana grinned widely. "Heaven on earth, Jack."

-

Thirty minutes later, Jack found himself sitting in front of a suspicious looking slab of cheese, bread, and an unidentifiable red substance. Dana and Matt were eating triangular wedges of said food that were slightly larger than Jack himself.

"C'mon, its good." Dana swallowed a bite.

"What's that red stuff?" Jack asked.

"Tomato sauce."

The word tomato flew over Jack's head, but 'sauce' evoked his interest. Gingerly, he picked up the slab and took a bite.

"Iss HOT!" He managed through a mouthful of cheese.

"I brought you some coke." Dana indicated a small plastic cap filled with fizzy brown liquid.

Jack immediately gulped some down. A grin spread over his face.

"Not bad." He said and took another bite.

"Wait until we introduce him to ice cream." Dana whispered to Matt.

Matt groaned and shook his head. "God no. The last thing we need is a miniature sugar-high pirate."

Jack took another swig of the coke, restraining himself from giggling as the bubbles tickled his throat. He finished off the pizza chunk.

"That just may catch on." He grinned.

"Yeah, we eat this stuff for breakfast around here." Matt said.

"Want some more?" Dana held up a knife. "There's plenty left."

Jack nodded and took another swig of the cola.

Dana cut another chunk off the slice. "Tomorrow I'm introducing you to the wonderful world of french fries."

"I love the French. Inventors of mayonnaise." Jack said. Dana and Matt burst out laughing. "Wot's so funny?"

"Nothing." They answered together.

-