"So Lifelike!"

By GirlX2

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"JACK! C'mon, this isn't funny!" Matt roared into the duct. "Get your Pirating ass out here right now, or I'm gonna-"

RRRRIIIIIINNNNGGGGG….

"Oh, holy crap!" He ran upstairs and grabbed the cordless phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Honey." Dana's voice nearly startled him into dropping the phone. "What's up?"

"Uh…Nothing."

"How's your, um, little visitor?"

'Subtle.' Matt thought. "Uh…"

"Yeah?"

"He stabbed me in the leg!" Matt tried to divert the conversation.

"What! Why?"

"No clue. I was sitting on the couch playing my game, and he went berserk."

"Really?"

"I…may have made a joke." He admitted.

"Oh good God." Dana groaned. "Well, put him on, let me talk to him. I can probably get him to apologize."

"I can't." Matt said, bracing himself.

There was a pregnant pause.

"Why?" Dana asked slowly.

"Well…he may be lost in the air vents."

The scream, while totally expected, was still horribly loud. Matt held the phone away from his ear until she ran out of breath.

"Yeah, so I'm just going to go find him okayloveyoubye!" He hung up and hurried back downstairs.

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Dana's Mother and cousins stood in shock over the brown-haired teen. She'd taken a moment to call Matt, then screamed and-for the first time in her life-fainted.

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Jack had made it to the neighbor's driveway before Matt finally realized what had happened. From his hiding place under the car, he was able to watch Matt scouting out the bushes, pleading for him to return.

"I promise not to kill you, just come back! I know you can hear me you can't run that fast!"

Jack sniggered. Clearly, the Whelp was desperate.

"Okay, FINE! Stay outside!" Matt stood up, looking quite angry. "I just want you to know you're worrying the Hell out of Dana!"

That struck the Pirate a little harder. Dana had been nothing short of phenomenal in her willingness to help him. Getting her upset was the last thing he'd intended with his escape.

On the other hand, his death by the Whelp wasn't going to make her feel any better.

Matt threw a final glare to the world in general, then stormed back inside.

The Captain surveyed his surroundings carefully. It was nearly dusk, and the summer light was rapidly fading. A few people were outside, but as this side of the house was next to the road most of them were passing by, and not lingering. There was nary a waterway in sight.

'I'll be fine.' He reassured himself, and began scouting for a place to take cover. He tapped on the trunk of a tree with the hope that it might be hollow and contain rum faintly knocking around his head.

When a daddy longlegs rose up after his touch, the startled pirate nearly fell over himself trying to back up. He'd never had a fear of spiders and their kind before-but in the past the one's he'd seen weren't the size of large dogs.

"Ugh." He turned away as the spindly insect climbed up the tree. Quickly, he wiped his hand on the grass. "That was…disturbing."

All things considered, he couldn't afford to be choosey. Sighing he began to climb the rough bark of the tree.

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