*TRIGGER WARNING. Talk of suicide, death and attempted suicide because of Bella, Edward and Harry Clearwater*
I hadn't realized that Alice had been watching me.
After the Cullens had left, I thought that was it. They were gone. I was no longer a member of their family meaning they no longer cared.
That was what Edward had implied.
I hadn't realized that Alice would see me jumping into the water, thinking I had tried to commit suicide. I had to explain to her that I hadn't been trying to kill myself. That the jumping had been for recreational purposes only. She didn't appear to believe me, but what could I say? I couldn't explain to her that I saw hallucinations of her brother who had left me whenever I did dangerous things.
That would not have gone over well.
I had to explain that while yes, I had jumped and yes, I had gotten caught up in the current I had managed to be saved by Jacob. Then, Alice did something I had never expected.
She sniffed my shoulder. She had sniffed it and crinkled her nose at me in disgust. When had that happened?
Not one to be distracted, Alice had bombarded me with questions. It wasn't until I broke down and told her that Jacob and the rest of the guys on the reservation were werewolves that Alice began to believe me.
"Well… I guess that explains the smell."
"The smell?"
"You smell awful," she said absently, till frowning. "A werewolf? Are you sure about that?"
We began talking about how much of a trouble magnet I was, how disappointed Edward would be in me when he learned I had been putting myself in danger without care for anyone else, which then brought up the conversation of Vampires. Of Victoria. Alice demanded to know everything. It wasn't until the end of my story that she finally spoke again.
"Our leaving didn't do you any good at all, did it?" Alice murmured.
All I could do was laugh at how ridiculous the statement was, coming from her.
"That was never the point, though, was it? Its not like you left for my benefit."
Jacob called, and Alice had to hunt. She promised to be back within the hour, but was clear that she needed something before she could stay any longer.
Charlie eventually came home, looking at the ground and his shoulders slumped over. I asked how he was doing, but he focused more on Sue and her kids. Leah had always been a bitch to me but was apparently just a year older than me. Her brother, Seth, who sometimes followed Jacob was only 14.
I brought up Alice being over, asking if she could spend the night. Charlie mechanically agreed, but I didn't focus on him. I couldn't focus on him. I had to find out from Alice what was going on with everything. With Edward.
I later on heard Charlie speaking quietly with Alice about what I had been like while they had left. All the pain, torment, sleepless nights. The screaming. Looking like a zombie. Everything.
I eventually joined her in the kitchen after she had finished gossiping with Charlie about my life after they had left me behind. We talked about her life, her family, everything except for him. She wouldn't talk about him. Instead, she brought up how she had been learning a lot about her life before she had been turned. Charlie eventually came back down in a suit I had never seen him wear.
He had been getting ready to go to the funeral before telling Alice and I goodbye. Jacob decided to visit shortly after, causing Alice to excuse herself so that we could have space.
I had invited Jake into the house to talk. He was cold, colder than I had ever seen him act with me. As I was a stranger, or a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe. He explained that the pack could only patrol around their boarders with a Cullen back, meaning he could no longer keep me safe.
He then asked if the Cullens were going to be coming back. I had to admit that no, they were not planning on return at this time. His expression hadn't changed once during the conversation.
Would he forgive me once Alice was gone?
Jacob eventually apologized, saying he had broken his promise of not hurting me again. I admitted that it had been my fault this time. I had hopes that this meant our friendship could be saved. I needed him in my life. He kept me alive. He was my sun. I couldn't continue on without him.
All hell broke lose once the phone rang. Jacob had answered it without stating who had called. They had apparently asked for Charlie; which Jacob had let the caller know he was at the funeral. We argued about him answering the phone in my own house without giving it to me, how he had no right to do that, but Alice had returned. I had hopped that the caller was Edward, but Jacob had said it was Carlisle.
Once Alice returned, her body trembled as it did when she was observing a vision. It wasn't until it was finished that she looked up at me with venom filling her eyes. She only had to say one word to tell me everything I needed to know.
"Edward" she whispered.
*This takes place in New Moon, Chapter 18. *