Scarlet Justice - ep. 83
"Gardenia"
Today brings me to another block of free time, and with it comes another opportunity to head north.
"I come bearing a gift."
"Ooh, candy. Thank you kindly, Lili."
Fio chews happily on the treats as we head through the resort square and its shopping centres once more. She's wearing the approximation of gothic wear that I got her the last time, and because of it she's turning heads for better reasons than before. My attention is mainly on finding a certain salon. Always nice to use your connections when you have them.
"So you said you had a surprise for me today. What is it?" Fio asks.
"Wait and see. You're going to like it. Ah, here we are." The entrance comes into view, and we step inside. It's a small, quaint little place with two big chairs available.
"You made it! So glad to see you, sweetie." I exchange kisses with the young woman who owns the shop. Her name is Rui, and I first met her at the hot springs. She has fluffy hair that's dyed cotton pink, shading her eyes in a mysterious manner almost. She's also quite a tease, wearing short skirts and low-cut tops just for the fun of it. The most important thing, of course, is that she's an elite stylist.
"My lovely friend here needs to have her hair rescued. And of course, I would like some maintenance done for myself." Luna is almost always the one who looks after my hair since she loves doing so, but she doesn't mind if I have someone responsible look after it while I'm out. As long as it's not too often, of course.
"Oh, it really is a mess," Rui mutters, running her hands through Fio's hair. "We might be here a while since I have to do these things right. Probably will have to order in some food, the works."
"Put it all on my bill if you're doing that." I settle into my chair and relax. "I want no expense spared when it comes to this one."
"Got it. Okay, let's see how much magic I can charge up..." She guides Fio to the open chair and puts a hairdressing gown over her as she sits. "What's your name, honey?"
"It's Fio. Nice to meet you."
"My name's Rui, it's lovely meeting you too. I love your hair and the whole aesthetic, but this is definitely an emergency on our hands."
"Yeah...I've never been good with taking care of things like that."
"A tomboy, I'm guessing?"
"That, and my mom used to help out when I was at home."
"That'll do it. Listen, don't worry about a thing. I'll send you home with a little kit, and when I'm done with you, you'll only need that little bit of regular maintenance to keep your hair looking nice and fresh. I can tell you're not one of those vanity customers, so I might as well give you what you need and no less."
"Thank you."
"Lili, hon. You gonna be okay over there?"
"Take as long as you need before getting to me. I only need a minor touch up, that's all."
"Aye. Let's get to it. Gonna start with a little bit of trimming, Fio. Just relax."
And so, Rui starts her work. She combs and trims Fio's hair a bit, moving back and forth while checking in the mirror to make sure everything is alright. I can tell that she already has a vision of what she wants, and that it won't differ too drastically from what we have now. I busy myself with a magazine while glancing over every so often to look at the progress being made.
Back at home...the real work will be starting soon enough. We've been getting contact from that person over the past few weeks. Everything is taken care of in the Leaf for the most part. Certain things need to be left to develop by themselves as well. I should visit the mansion when I have some more time, surely. And after that, give a bit more attention to those in my circle at home.
Lots to do, it seems. And winter is almost here, too.
"Is everything alright, Fio?" I ask.
"Yeah. This is pretty luxurious, you know? Hurts a bit because of the tangles and junk, but I can tell that I'm being taken care of by a pro."
"Glad you noticed," Rui says proudly. "I haven't had anyone come in like this in a long time, but what's life without a tough puzzle or two? You've definitely had it rough, sweetie...but don't you worry. I'll tackle this, and get something for your skin while I'm at it. We're taking care of you from head to toe today."
"Thanks so much."
The front door opens and two more women arrive, bearing gifts of coffee that they deliver to Rui's work table. Aya and Ayame, not twins by birth but certainly in spirit. They have the same princess cut and wear cute matching dresses in the 'lolita' style. They greet me and then get to work looking after my needs since Rui will be busy a while.
"What are you planning to do later on, Fio?" I ask as they tend to my nails.
"Hmm...I was thinking that I've been running for long enough. I want to go back home and see my parents."
"That sounds nice. Hopefully they haven't screwed up in your hometown and declared you a missing shinobi by now."
"It's possible, and it would be harsh for sure. But...I think I could just take my chances. If I end up rejected and turned away, then it wouldn't be so sad, I think. Or I could just go somewhere else and turn myself in. Who knows."
"Somewhere like the Leaf, perhaps."
"Haha, maybe. I could pester you, Lili. But I also want to journey on my own for a while. Han-sensei likes to go here and there, so maybe if I wander around Earth Country for a bit, I might run into him. We can talk about starting training all over again."
"That sounds nice. You should make sure you can properly gain weight before that."
"That's true, yeah. Haven't got it completely down yet."
We both settle into silence for a while after that. Rui takes a break and says that she's a quarter of the way done with the process. The twins start on my hair, giving it the appropriate touch ups and washing it much like Luna would. We finish drying and Rui is back at work again.
"When your hair is done, I'll do your nails," I say to Fio from the other side of the room.
"Okay. I'd really like that."
"I gotta say, it's a miracle that your hair held up this well. It's bad, but...compared to the rest of you, I wouldn't complain. No offence, hon," Rui says.
"None taken. It's, uh...been kind of a shitshow the past two years, to be blunt," Fio says. "I know that I look like hell, and I feel like it too most days. Wouldn't recommend you try this at home."
"Advice taken and stored. Ah...can't use too many chemicals, since I promised easy maintenance. I've got something that'll do the trick. Just let me get in there a little bit with this oil here..."
"What colour did you want for your nails today, Lili?" Aya asks me.
"I'm feeling a bit playful today...let's try tangerine. That sounds nice."
"You got it, boss lady."
"Fio, what about you? Pick something nice for yourself."
"Umm..." She closes her eyes and thinks. "Sky blue, maybe?"
"Lovely. I hope your body will remember the colour, in case anything happens."
"I'll make sure it does, since you're doing all the work."
"You really have a big mouth."
I see her smile in the mirror. "Yeah, I know. I'm chasing after you until you get rid of me."
"So stubborn," I say with my own smile. Aya paints my hands and feet while Ayame goes to help out where Fio is. They finish and get me a bottle of sky blue nail polish, which I take over to Fio as soon as my own polish has dried enough.
"That colour looks really pretty," she says as I crouch at her feet.
"Hold still, love. I won't be too long."
"Okay."
I take one of her feet gently in my hand and start to paint her toenails. Steady and careful, as if I were doing my own. She's obedient and very still as I work. Once I'm done, I leave them to dry and start to work on her fingernails.
"Okay, I think I'm finally done!" Rui says as she wipes her forehead with a cloth. "Let's see what you think of it, Fio."
We both step to the side and let her look at her reflection. It really is amazing work; her hair now has a beautiful sheen to it, straight and neat. Bangs sweeping stylishly above her eyebrows, looking silky and soft. Tears start to fill her eyes before spilling over.
"I look like this...I didn't think..."
"Really gorgeous," Rui says.
"Yes. She's beautiful. Can I do the final honours?" I ask.
"Sure. I'll get you a makeup kit."
I walk up to Fio and wipe her tears. "I'm glad you're so happy."
"Lili...thank you so much. I don't...I just know that I can't repay you for this."
"That's good, because I wouldn't let you. Now everyone can see you the way that I see you."
She smiles and nods.
"Tell me when you're ready. I'm going to touch you up a bit, okay?"
"Okay. Maybe you can make me as beautiful as you are."
"Oh, that's a bit much," I say as Rui hands me the makeup kit. "God's handiwork is not so easily copied by mortals."
"You can give it a try."
"I can, yes. If you're satisfied with that much, I am too." I smile and lean forward to start my work. Her eyes close for a while before opening slowly, staring into mine. We look at each other for a long while, passing inarticulate thoughts back and forth. And with each moment, those old feelings return. The ones that I was so unsure of before are becoming more and more certain.
"I meant what I said...the first time we met."
"What was it?" I ask.
"You're really, really gorgeous."
"..." There's a strange bubble of cynicism again. "What is it about me? What makes you want to flirt with such a rotten bitch?"
"A lot of people would say that love doesn't need a reason, or any good reason. But my thoughts aren't that simple, and never have been. It's more than that. You reached into my heart and gave me another reason to live. And then another. And then one more. It kept going like that."
"I...see."
"It's the truth, even if it's not the most convenient one. You know...like you would say."
"It sounds like that, yes." I finish my work in silence, and Fio finally can get up from her chair. She has a beautiful glow all over, makeup blending perfectly with her pale skin. There's nothing that I saw fit to hide, no matter what anyone might say.
The other girls fawn over Fio after her transformation, and we all end up talking for a few hours about things that have been happening in the resort - the usual spicy sort of gossip. Aya has slipped out and gotten us something to eat, and we nibble on a few things while talking. As a few more customers come in, Fio and I give the girls our farewells and leave the salon. Rui gets her pay and a little bonus as always, while the twins get their own little gift from me.
Fio and I get ourselves some food before starting to head back to the hotel. The shopping area is quieter than before as we pass through it, lights starting to flicker on as the day settles into evening. Fio's hair shines in my vision as she smiles, looking so much lighter on her feet than before.
I observe her a bit longer before speaking. "You did say that you wanted to talk about something earlier."
"I did." She stops just ahead of me and turns around. There's a calm in the air as we look at each other. "You've made me so happy and so beautiful in the past few weeks. Was all of that...in the name of friendship?"
"That was very much the plan, yes."
"That's interesting to hear. Making something so...delicious, and then passing on eating it up. You don't seem like that kind of person, Lili. An artisan in her own way, but not a chef. More like a food lover."
"Hmph. You have a sharp tongue, you know that?" I say as I put a hand on my hip.
"Yep."
"I don't mind it. It's good to taste the knife's edge sometimes."
"You have beautiful ways of saying things, Lili."
"Thank you."
"More than anything else, I wanted to thank you for doing all of this for me. For giving me life. For giving me energy. For giving me love, and courage, and beauty." Her hands come to rest over her heart. "For making me feel like I'm a human being again. Like a woman."
"You're still young, Fio."
"So are you. We both are, but we've matured this way all the same. Even if it weren't the case...my innocence was torn away. I died a few hundred times."
"I'm sorry, Fio."
"I know. Thank you for your sympathy as well, Lili." She rubs one of her arms. "I wanted something from you, but...even if it is important, it might be too much, too soon."
"What is it?" I ask curiously.
"As I am now, even if you reassure me...I don't think I'm good enough for you. I don't think that I'm ready to be with you, even if I think I am and want to be...I don't know how much sense that makes. I just want to know that you won't disappear, that you won't be a single shining moment in my life that will be left as just a memory. I don't want you to be a fleeting dream, I just...want to be there for you and with you, because you're not just a good person, you're good to me, and always have been good to me, and I don't want to think that it's just something that happened because you were my friend."
"..."
"I want to believe there's more than that, and that...you feel the same way as me. And I'm scared because you've done all of this for me, and I know that you're not asking for anything, but I want to give you something back, I want you to know that you're appreciated for all of this and more, and I don't want to pressure you, but at the same time, at the exact same time, I really...I don't know..."
I sigh. "You talk too much. You're complicated, you know that?"
She blinks before giving me a smirk. "You're annoying."
"Yes, of course I am. I'm not sure why you expected any less."
"It's a heartfelt moment, you know. I'm showing myself to you in full, giving you all that I have, and here you are being your incredibly bitchy self again. Come on," she says while throwing her hands up.
"I don't know what you were expecting."
"A little humility, maybe?"
"You know I'm not good at that sort of thing."
"God, you're the worst," she says with a big smile. I can't help but smile back. When did all of this become so much fun? When was it that I became so comfortable with her? I haven't been thinking about it, it just...happened. Even as much as I question myself, as I question if I should be here in front of her, like this...I'm getting closer and closer all the time. And I just know...I know that...
I can see her walking closer, but it feels like I can't move for some reason. I can feel my breaths shortening. These nerves have been creeping up on me, and now I can't do anything but let them take over. Fio takes my hand and presses it against her warm, soft cheek. I can see a glow in her eyes that wasn't there before.
I want to tell her that she might be making a mistake.
"I know in my heart that I'll always...think the best of you, Lili. Even if you think there's something wrong with all of that," she says gently. "I'm scared, too. Scared that this might be clinging to you because you were the first person that was nice to me. But you weren't. I've known kindness from strangers before. But you're not just kind to me. And you're the furthest thing from a stranger."
"I...Fio..."
I can feel her hand pressed against mine. She's blushing brightly.
"I love you."
The words come from her mouth, and everything stops. It's only her warmth that I can feel in this moment. I can't think properly.
"Ah...yes." It's a clumsy, awkward response. But I can't find words. I can feel tears running down my cheeks as I stare into her. "I...I don't know..."
"I love you," she says again. The tears keep flowing, and they won't stop. I feel like something inside of me has come loose. I can't handle these emotions properly, nothing...makes sense at all. But I know that this is right. That this is a blessed, beautiful thing.
"I love you, Lili. I love you so much."
"I love you, Fio." The words are pure and sweet. And they come from my heart.
"Will you make me your wife?"
"I...want to. But I'm not ready...I'm not there yet," I stammer out. "I might come across someone, I might not be the same person tomorrow..."
"It doesn't matter how pure you think you might be," she says. "I'll wait for you. It doesn't matter how long. I don't want there to be anyone else, but I also know that you have your own things to work through."
"Yes."
"You're wonderful. You're beautiful. I know that I don't deserve to be with someone as amazing as you, but I don't care what the world thinks I'm worthy of anymore. Please don't call yourself such terrible things. Don't say you're a rotten bitch unworthy of love. You're not."
"I am."
"You're not."
"Fine. Whatever, it's...sorry."
"It's okay."
"Thank you...thank you."
I don't know what to call this yet. It's a relationship of some sort...I don't think I can call her my girlfriend, or my wife, or anything like that. But she's also more than just a friend. She's not like a sister, it's more intimate than that. But she's also not my lover.
Calling her just Fio isn't enough. I feel like it's the case. Maybe...I can wait for that to settle some more before giving it a definitive name. Knowing and understanding her feelings is enough for now. I'm still young. In so many ways, just a girl who is strange and awkward, and can't handle people very well. These little quirks and insecurities that I can skilfully keep hidden away most of the time surface so quickly when I'm close to someone. I feel so vulnerable, but it's in a way that...kind of like, I think. I can't be a hunter all of the time. I'm realizing that more and more now.
I slowly get a hold of myself again and stop my crying. Fio waits for me, patiently. I take her hand in mine and we walk back to the hotel, into our room where we lie together in bed, side by side.
It's a long time. We are very quiet, and very still. And it's very peaceful.
"I want you to stay with me for a long time."
Fio's voice breaks the silence.
"But you said you had things to do at home. I think you should go before it gets too dark."
"I should," I say quietly. As I let go of her hand, I'm already craving her warmth again. I get up from the bed and start to walk to the door. My hand rests on the doorknob. "Fio."
"Lili."
"Love yourself. Always love yourself."
"Like you love me?"
"No. Better than that."
"You have to promise me that you'll do the same."
"I will. I will do more than try. I promise I will."
"I'll dream of you."
"And I will dream of you. This won't be...the last, you know."
"I know."
"Where will you go?"
"Many places...maybe home."
"That's good."
"I'll keep growing, like you want me to. I'll become strong again."
"I know you will. Send me mail, cards, anything. Anything you want. I'll accept all of it."
"I'm sorry for being so aggressive."
"Don't be. I love that side of you. It's what opened my eyes to how beautiful you are."
"I'll see you soon, Lili."
"Yes. Until the next, Fio."
I turn the handle and find myself outside the hotel room. I'm alone again. The cool sensation slowly turns back into warmth, and I am myself once more.
The stars begin to decorate the skies as I step outside. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
What I need to do is...
"..."
I part my lips and speak her name into the wind. Immediately, I find myself smiling, filled with warmth and happiness.
I am...at the end of a journey. One that was over before it ever truly began.