Summary, in case you didn't see it (yes, it's kind of late, but meh): Done for the 30 angsts themes challenge on lj. Thirty ways they broke each others' hearts. Thirty ways their romance was fated to be sad.

Hm...I guess #8 has mild spoilers, but if you haven't gotten that far in the series (I forget where it is, but...maybe eps 18-21, not sure?) then you won't get it anyway, so I think it's okay.

Spinning on the Edge
For the 30 ANGSTS challenge
By DarkenedSakura
Themes #6-10 (you're monochrome delirious)

6. Curiosity (listen to your heart cry)

He was glad that his guard duty shift finally ended. Now he was just going to go and –

"Really, you should know, nee-chan!"

"Komachi!"

The voices being a little too close for comfort, he followed what his reflexes did – sidestep and duck behind a tree. A little voice in his head reminded him that it was probably Not A Good Idea, but too late, anyway.

Just his luck that the mikumari sisters had to be out right now.

"It'll make him sad, you know."

"I…" A pause. "I promised him that I'd be there for him. I'd wash away the blood, I'd tend to the wounds, I'd share the burden of his sins. It was my fault, you know."

Never your fault, Kirara-dono, never your fault.

"But I…I never expected him to turn it down. He said he couldn't let me do it…"

A tsk-tsk sound. "He cares for you, nee-chan, don't you know that?"

"Well, I – "

"Eh, you didn't?"

"Well no, but…no, I did know, but – "

"You might as well just tell him, nee-chan. You'd be happier. You know he likes you." He could imagine her grinning cheekily as she said this, or perhaps saying it with a stern and serious expression, or at least a young girl's attempt at one.

"…Maybe I should." And then, footsteps.

Damnit.

He moved away as discreetly as possible. Knowing him and his luck, that probably wasn't very successful. But he didn't hear anyone calling out "Katsushirou-sama, we know you were there," and he hadn't made any obvious sounds, so…for now, he was in the clear.

But what had that been about? Did she really…?

He tried to put it out of mind, because there really wasn't a point to getting worked up for nothing, but he felt a small smile spreading across his face.

--l--

Komachi had been frowning.

And Kirara was now stuck in her thoughts. "I should tell him. I can't let him…believe in a false romance. And I should tell…him…that I…"

The young girl showed no sign of being surprised, but sighed a little. It was a shame.

7. Interest (crying for you one last time)

"Taken an interest in her, have you?" the old lady smiled, interrupting Katsushirou's thoughts.

"Not…really…" he muttered, though she didn't have to be able to put two and two together to know which young woman walking down the path had gotten his attention for a fleeting moment.

"Well, I'm sure she likes you too," she smiled.

"I think you're mistaken," he said without hesitation.

"Why? You look good together. It's obvious she likes one of the samurai, and I believe it's you – "

She was wrong. He'd had enough time around his companions to know. He might never be exceptionally observant, but he'd lost some of his obliviousness about these things anyway.

" – Why wouldn't she like a fine young man like yourself, eh?"

He turned away. "The one she has her eyes on…isn't me."

8. Articles; Newspapers (broken promise)

"I'll be there, to clean away the blood, to take care of your wounds, to share the burden of the sin that you carry." She made the promise.

"And I can't allow you to share my sins with me." He had broken it.

She would not have cared for him enough to keep it anyway, and he would have cared for her all too much to let her stay.

So it was best that they let each other go.

9. Hide-and-Seek (shattered heart)

Sighing, he slowed to a stop and sat, leaning against a sturdy tree. The day was almost ending and dusk would come soon, so surely the others wouldn't need him for today. Hopefully. Well, he'd finished his duties anyway, so who knows. If they really needed him, somebody would find him. But for now, he'd rather have it so that nobody would. He'd rather not be around the others right now, especially not K – "

"BLEH!"

"Euh!"

Thankfully, he hadn't jumped.

Komachi grinned widely, as usual. "Katsunoji, whatcha doing? Are you hiding here?"

"No…"

"Well, you look like you're hiding to me! Are you playing hide-and-seek with us, Katsunoji?"

"No, I'm not, I – "

"Hey, he said he's playing with us!" she called back over her shoulder, presumably to her friends.

"Now we'll have two samurai playing with us! Awesome!"

"Er, Komachi, I'm really not – "

"Don't be silly, Katsunoji. Of course you're playing with us! You can't get out of it now!"

Sigh.

--l--

"EH? Why do I have to be the seeker again?" Kikuchiyo bellowed in a puff of smoke.

"Because!" the children said with that Komachi-grin.

"Besides," said the girl herself, "you can't hide. You'd stick out too much!"

"What does that mean!" he replied with more steam, his bright red metal body clanking as he raised his fist.

The kids giggled. "Fine, we'll let Katsunoji seek with you! That way, you won't be lonely!"

"Komachi…you…"

"Quick, everyone, let's run and hide!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaaa!" they cried as they tumbled into the underbrush.

Katsushirou blinked. It hadn't been five seconds and they'd already disappeared.

The large red samurai clanked as he started to walk forward, still steaming, though Katsushirou couldn't tell if he was seriously grumpy or not. "That Komachi…I'll show her this time. Meh, I'll find them all. Then I'll show them how a true hider hides," he said, directing the last part to the foliage around them.

A flurry of muffled shrieks and laughter was the response.

Though he shouldn't have been able to tell, Katsushirou could've sworn that the mechanical samurai was grinning. Widely. "Er…"

"So, Katsunoji!" He started marching towards a rustling tree to their left. "Why are you here, eh? Did Komachi drag you into it?"

"Aa…I was sitting behind a tree, and she said I must've been playing hide-and-seek with them and dragged me here…"

"Eh. You're at that tree a lot lately. What's up with that?"

"…I wanted to forget." And with that, he walked into the bushes.

Kikuchiyo cocked his head to one side. "Eh? What's up with him?"

10. Messenger (you belong to no one)

The storm came without warning. One moment her pendant was clear, and the next the pieces in it swirled around as though an unseen chaos had just struck.

Outside, everything was clear and dark for more than a moment too long before the rain came down. That could only mean one thing, that what the pendant recognized was a different storm…

She tightened her fist, hoping it didn't mean what she thought it did.

--l--

When the messenger arrived, he stood in the doorway drenched from the elements. His hands were soaked through with blood, red slowly dripping down and leaving clean trails behind, red pooling on the unstained wood at his feet.

"What is it?" she questioned, her voice already growing fierce from the fear and the knowing of the fear and the knowing, but mostly from the knowing.

Red falling down in little drip-drip-drips. "The…the samurai-sama…"

No I don't believe you it's not possible it's not possible he's too strong to die – "Who is it?" she asked, trying not to let her resolve break.

"Many are injured, and one…he is…" His face contorted, as though he could not force the words out, could not believe it was true.

"Take me to him."

--l--

He was sitting, holding his breath and clutching his side when she found him.

"K-Kambei-sama, your wound…let me clean and wrap it," she said determinedly, moving towards him with the strips of cloth she carried. Was this all that the messenger meant? She had been so worried that he was mortally wounded, but he wasn't, and so…

"I am not dying," he said in a voice too devoid of feeling. "The one you should be tending to is not me."

"But…"

"Go to him," said Kambei. "He won't last."

"He…won't?" What? What did he mean?

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, old and weary. "He could have remained unscathed, but he chose to take most of the cut and threw his life away…wasn't fast enough to deflect the strike like he meant to…"

It couldn't be…

She hesitated for a moment, and then bolted.

--l--

When Kirara finally stumbled upon him, she was at a loss for words. The crimson that spread across him, gashed his limbs, tore at his body, seeped into the rock and dirt around him…it was too dark, far too dark.

She tried to speak, to say his name, but nothing came out except for a sound akin to a strangled hiccup.

He stirred. "K…Kirara…dono?"

No, no, no… "Don't talk, you'll just make your wounds worse," she scolded sharply while trying to think of something – anything – to stop the bleeding. Perhaps if she just applied pressure, then…

The color of death poured all over her hands in its blackened glory. Her eyes widened, but she kept trying to staunch the flow from the wound. It was as effective as trying to stop the flow from a faucet with one finger.

"Ki…rara…dono…stop. It's too late…can't…"

Please no please no this isn't happening – "Stop talking. The others from the village…they'll be here soon, and then…"

His eyes had started to look glassy. "…Do you think…I was foolish?"

Yes. Yes you were foolish look what you did look what happened to you – "No….no, I don't, but – "

"Stop." He grimaced now as a convulsion swept through him. "One last thing…to say…"

She choked. "When we get you back and take care of you, you'll be able to talk again as much as you want – "

" – Too late for that…just wanted…to say…" He coughed violently, hacking up blood that ran down his face and throat in red rivulets. "Kirara-dono…I…you…I…"

She leaned in to catch his last whisper. "…cared for you…so…you…" Kirara tried to say something – and were those tears welling up in her eyes? – but he merely smiled, one of sadness and resignation. He held up a finger to her lips. "Don't say…anything…I don't…regret…"

Her vision grew watery, and when she opened her eyes again, she reared up and sat upright in her futon. Breathing heavily, she looked down at her trembling hands.

Just a dream. Just a dream.

And then she looked from Kambei to Katsushirou back to Kambei and didn't understand at all. She buried her head under the covers, hoping that by tomorrow she'd forget everything, the dream and all of her thoughts that came after that.

Sleep was a long time in coming again that night.

--l--

Katsunoji is what Komachi, the other kids, and Kikuchiyo tend to call Katsushirou. Kirara tends to berate them (or rather, at least the kids) for not saying "Katsushirou-sama" and being all respectful.

Just to clarify again, I did not make these 30 themes; they're from the 30angsts challenge. Just to get that straight since there seems to have been some confusion over that.

And to explain the whole 30angsts (or any themes challenge for that matter) thing, here's how it works. With some communities it might be different, but in 30 angsts, there are 30 themes with multiple choices separated by semicolons, and alternate themes for each number in parenthesis. You can do either one or the theme and the alternate if you want, and for some of mine you can see that I do both themes at the same time, if you squint. You sign up with a pairing and the goal is to write or draw all 30 themes. You could make a 30 chapter fic with all the themes if you want, but I'm just doing 30 vignettes. And there are 5 bonus themes that I'm writing as well, though I could've replaced any of the themes I wanted to with those if I chose to. And all themes have to have "angst" in it, interpreted however you will.

How I've defined angst? According to the dictionary: a feeling of anxiety, apprehension, or insecurity. Other ways I've interpreted it: well…you know, angst. Sad stuff. So yes.

Finally decided on what to do with chapter titles, so there that goes. Edited the first chapter to fix that. If you get what I'm doing, awesome.

Thanks for the reviews and the warm reception, and again, major thanks to the two betas for all of their superior work.