A set of short tales. Each can stand alone but best read in sequence.
I don't own them. Just having fun with them. They are completely and totally JKR's.
Severus Snape fumbled. He never fumbled. But how the heck did one work these zippers when one's…package was squished tight against those vicious metal pieces. And what in the hell was he thinking making that childish bet. It was all the little brat Potter's fault. He let out a frustrated growl. Finally he got his zipper up and looked in the mirror. He had to admit, the clothes looked pretty good.
Remus agreed. He watched as his lover worked the zipper and didn't make a sound. Even when laughter threatened. Slowly he walked towards the potions master without a sound. He couldn't resist reaching out to run an hand over the ass that the jeans covered so snugly.
In the next room Draco was also discovering the delights of the tight fitting Muggle clothing. Wizard robes allowed for a lot of freedom, but these jeans, they showed everything. Draco reckoned these clothes were made to show off a body such as his.
Harry sat back and smirked. Draco had been preening in front of the mirror for almost an hour, turning every which way trying to get a better look at his own body. Harry didn't even try to be as polite as Remus. He collapsed on the bed with laughter. He too loved the way the jeans clung to Draco, outlining the lines of his legs and ass. But the look on Draco's face was far to distracting.
Apparently, the mirror was finding the situation too much as well. "Yes dear," Draco's reflection commented. "You look absolutely divine. Now get the hell away. I am quite tire."
Harry, who had just composed himself, fell back again in laughter. Draco gave him a look of disgust. Harry stood and approached his boyfriend. He grabbed his hand and pulled him to the door.
"Come on stud, almost nine. We have to meet the others." Draco sighed but followed.
He did not get far, two steps down the stairs before he froze. As he was still holding Harry's hand at the time, Harry was rather abruptly pulled backwards.
"What?" Harry's look of exasperation turned to concern when he saw the wide-eyed look on Draco's face.
"Harry! They…er…RUB!" the bond's voice was filled with scandalous shock. Harry collapsed on the step with laughter. "I'm so glad you find this amusing."
Harry could tell Draco was close to storming off. Quickly he stood and pulled Draco into his arms for a deep kiss. He pulled away to whisper "But just think how ready you'll be tonight after all the . . .stimulation"
That did the trick. Draco was moving down the stairs rapidly, pulling the smaller man with him. They got to the kitchen to see Hermione and Pansy waiting. Harry had to admit, Pansy looked really good in the outfit Hermione had gotten for her.
"Where is Remus and Severus?" asked Pansy. She was looking behind Draco and Harry as if expecting to see them standing there.
"Don't know," shrugged Draco. "Probably Sev has flooed back to the school and refuses to be seen in public with these…pants."
Only Draco could get away with calling the potions master Sev. Harry snickered at the image. He knew he had never seen Severus or Remus for that matter, in anything other than wizards robes. He and Hermione had gotten them both some sneakers, and plain t-shirts, black for Snape both t-shirt and jeans, and for Remus they got a Gryffindor red t-shirt and blue jeans.
"Quite nearly correct Mr. Malfoy," came the dry comment. Harry turned quickly to see the two people in question standing in the doorway. His jaw dropped. He saw the others react in a similar manner.
'Holy SHIT!' Harry thought. He hoped he wasn't drooling. 'Who would have thought those robes were hiding THOSE bodies!'
"Kindly close your mouths before something flies into them," snapped Snape. "Let's get this day over with. The sooner we go the sooner it will be done with."
Harry closed his mouth with a snap. He looked at Draco to see him staring at Harry with a slight smirk. He moved closer to him and whispered into Harry's ear "Never knew Sev could look so damn sexy. Gotta get him into these clothes more often!"
Harry tried to glare at his boyfriend, fighting jealousy but couldn't deny Draco's comment.
Hermione broke the silence that had fallen, "Okay, everyone Apparate to The Leaky Cauldron." With a pop, the group appeared at the bar and Harry and Hermione led them all to the Muggle exit.
Within minutes they were getting on a bus and headed to the zoo. Harry was nearly bouncing in his seat with excitement.
"Kindly sit STILL Mr. Potter," Snape's voice cut through the excited thoughts racing in Harry's mind.
"Sorry sir," was Harry's automatic apology.
"Don't apologize Harry," said Remus quietly. He was giving his partner a silent, reproaching look. Snape sighed and rolled his eyes.
"What is it about this place that has you so excited Harry," asked Draco. He really was curious. Harry almost never acted like this.
Harry chewed on his lip while he thought. He never told Draco, well, any of them except Hermione, anything about growing up with the Dursleys. Draco would have gone after the whole family with an Unforgivable.
Finally, he told them about the last time he had been to the zoo. He was only looking at Hermione when he told the story. He didn't want to see the look on the others faces, but soon he was caught up in the tale, telling about how he got two treats that day because of Dudley's sulking, how he was able to get rid of Piers and Dudley and enjoy watching the animals. He faltered when he reached the story of the snake but finally got through the whole tale.
Finally he finished his story, and looked at the others. There were varying degrees of expressions. Remus' face was the one that caught him the most. It was one of shock and horror but also deep guilt. He knew what Remus was thinking. He grabbed his surrogate father's hand.
"Don't. You couldn't know. Besides, I needed to stay there. You know that. Don't worry, I didn't tell you the story to upset you," Harry felt bad that he had upset Remus. He saw Severus wrap an arm around Remus and pull him close. Harry didn't let go of the hand he held. He just leaned closer to the two men.
"Lily and James would not blame you love," He could hear the other man say.
"He's right Remus," Harry reassured his friend. Harry felt Draco's arm on him, pulling him away from Remus.
"Let Sev take care of him. You come and take care of me," Draco pulled Harry into his arms. Harry looked up at Draco to see that his boyfriend was also upset.
"You never talk about them. Now I guess I understand why. If that was the best day you ever had with them…" Draco's voice was tight with anger. Harry sighed. He knew it was going to be a mistake to tell them about it.
"Can everyone please stop, don't spoil this for me. I love the zoo. It was a great day. I want to go back and be able to do everything that I did, plus some," he pleaded softly.
That seemed to do the trick. Draco kissed him. "Of course love." Draco's tone was light but above Harry's head he and Severus exchanged a look. Hermione had leaned back to pat Harry's knee.
"Where do you want to go first when we get there?" she asked him. She already knew the answer, but wanted to try and change the mood.
Harry perked up and looked at his best friend. "The snake. I want to see if he actually got away. Pretty sure he didn't. But even still, I want to remember Piers and Dudley on their arses in the middle of the pen." Harry snickered with the memory. The others laughed with him and with the laugh, the dark mood passed.
By the time the bus reached the zoo (stopping much more gracefully than the Knight Bus) Harry was bouncing in his seat again. Even Snape didn't have the heartlessness to yell at him. Draco simply smiled indulgently.
Harry grabbed Draco's hand and pulled the group towards the entrance. His exuberance was contagious and the group was starting to get into the spirit of the adventure. Remus was still slightly upset but he hid it quickly every time Harry looked his way. Hermione paid for the entrance fee and the group entered the zoo.
They went to the large map in the front of the park. A lively discussion broke out when they tried to decide where to go after the snake display. Harry and Hermione were reduced to a fit of giggles before the argument ended.
"Lions!" argued Remus, ever the Gryffindor.
"Tigers!" countered Draco. He had seen pictures and wanted to see a white one.
"Bears!" was Pansy's desired destination. She was imagining cute cuddly teddy bears.
"OH MY!" exclaimed Harry and Hermione before clinging to each other in laughter. The others looked at them like they had lost their minds.
After they caught their breath, Hermione proceeded to try and explain The Wizard of Oz to the group while Harry led the way to the snakes. There was a petting display going on when they got there. Harry let out what could almost be a squeal, causing several people to look over at them. He tugged Draco's hand and ran the two of them up to the display. There, in the center of the group of snakes was a large Brazilian python. The one he had set free years earlier.
It hissed a greeting to Harry, obviously remembering him.
"I see you didn't get to Brazil. I'm sorry," Harry said.
"Don't be. I got away for a while but it was cold. And food was hard to find. They give me all sorts of food, barely have to hunt for it. So I came back," the snake was rather chatty.
"I thought you wanted to go to Brazil?" Harry was a bit confused.
"I was. But that was too hard. I couldn't really even get out of the zoo. Everyone was looking for me," the snake was explaining patiently. He slithered towards Harry. "I have been hoping you would come back here. I never get to talk to anyone."
Harry smiled at the snake. "It isn't a common ability. I only know one other person that was able to do it and he, er…died a year ago."
The two continued to talk for a bit and Harry reached into the petting pen. The snake slid up Harry's arm as he reached down to pet him. Harry smiled and looked up at his friends. He paused at the looks on their faces. Hermione and Remus were both looking at him in amused amazement. The three Slytherians however had a much different look. Pansy and Severus were filled with envy and something Harry couldn't identify. Draco looked…well, like he wanted to drag Harry off to the nearest wall and take him right there. Harry drew in a shaky breath and started to pull his arm away when he heard a voice.
"I am amazed young man. I don't believe I have ever seen Bran respond to anyone like that," Harry looked at the speaker. It was a man dressed in a zoo uniform, looked like an animal handler.
"Um…Bran?" he was a bit uncertain what was going on. Everyone was looking at him strange.
"The snake, that's his name," Harry smiled to himself at that. The snake had already introduced himself as Siash. "You have a real talent with snakes it would appear."
He wasn't sure how to respond to that comment. As he was trying to figure out what to say, Hermione chimed in. "Yeah, Harry gets along with most snakes. It is almost like they can talk. Really strange. Always been like that."
She grinned at Harry. He felt himself turning red. Especially since Draco still looked like he was going to drag him off at any second.
"Hmm," the trainer was giving Harry another look. "Would you mind…I normally wouldn't ask, but I do have another snake that is giving us some trouble. It isn't a poisonous snake, just a constrictor, but we can't seem to get her to eat. The vet has been in and can't find a problem. Since you have a natural talent for these animals, can you find something?" Harry looked at the man in shock.
"M..me? Um, I guess." He was very confused. Severus and Pansy were still looking at him strange and Remus just seemed greatly amused. Harry convinced Siash to go back to his cage and followed the other man to a small building. His friends were trailing behind him.
In the back of the building was a rather large cage with a large white snake. The snake looked miserable. It was huddled in a corner and barely looked up when the group came in.
"What's wrong?" Harry hissed at her. The snake looked straight at him in surprise.
"My name is Harry," he introduced himself. "You look very unhappy. Why is that?"
"You don't smell like a snake." the creature commented.
Harry nodded. "May I approach you? We can talk, but the people need to think that I am examining you." Slowly the snake's head nodded to Harry. He gave a sigh of relief. Slowly he entered the large pen and moved towards the snake. The handler made a move to stop him but was stopped by Hermione who just laid a hand on him and shook her head.
Harry heard her whisper "Just watch."
The snake started hissing at Harry, speaking rapidly. She was listing off several complaints, including the food. She did not want rats, mice or rabbits (too much fur). She wanted a chicken, or a pigeon, something with feathers. Fur just didn't digest well for her. She was too cold. She wanted a bigger rock. Something in the sun. The sand was too coarse. Her list of complaints seemed endless.
Finally Harry rolled his eyes and informed her that he might be able to get some of the things, but wasn't sure about all of them. He reached down and slowly stroked her. She did seem to relax a bit at the warmth of his touch and finally moved to wrap herself partially around his leg. He smiled and told her he had to go and see about the changes.
When he left the pen he was very uneasy at the looks he was getting. The trainer seemed impressed. When Harry told him to bring some type of poultry in to feed the snake he gave Harry a startled look.
"We always feed them rabbits. They can't harm the snakes, chickens can peck them and injure them." Harry just smiled. He told him if they gave the snake a chicken for food, she should show improvement. Finally the trainer left them there to get a hen for the snake. When he threw the bird into the pen, the snake hissed a quick thank you before diving towards her new meal.
"That's amazing!" the man exclaimed. "She hasn't eaten since we brought her here. What else is wrong with her?" he queried Harry.
Harry pondered how much he could tell the man without making him suspicious. "She needs more direct sunlight and some larger rocks. Those are too small for her to fit comfortably on." He decided to leave it at just those couple of things and hope that it would be enough.
The trainer was giving him a rather strange look. Harry was more interested in the unbridled lust in Draco's eyes. The zoo worker was saying something about a job if Harry was interested, once a month or so just to work with the snakes.
Harry was just about to turn him down, but paused to look at Draco, for whom the entire conversation did not even seem to be registering. Harry felt a slow grin spread across his face as he realized that this could make for some really interesting torture for Draco. With a smirk worthy of any Malfoy, Harry turned to the employee and smiled.
"That would be great, but not full time. Just a couple times a month," he smiled at the relieved expression on the other guy's face.
"No problem. Someone with your skills would be a great help around here. My name is Mike by the way," Harry shook the other man's hand and smiled. He wondered when Draco would realize that Harry had a job. Okay, only once in a while, but still, a job.
"If you will follow me, I can get you the paperwork. Just fill it out and bring it with you when you come back. Two weeks?" Harry barely heard what the zookeeper was saying, he hoped Hermione caught all of it. He was too lost in the lust filled eyes of his boyfriend.
They trailed along behind the zookeeper, Harry wasn't really paying attention to where they were going. The guy went into a building and came out with some papers. Harry took them from him and Hermione promptly took them from Harry, putting them in a bag.
They said good bye to Mike and Draco grabbed Harry's hand. He pulled Harry into a small corner of the area that was shaded and relatively secluded. He pushed Harry roughly up against a tree and devoured Harry's lips. Harry moaned into his mouth. The world was quickly disappearing as his hand slide up and around Draco's shoulders. His fingers wrapped into the long blond locks.
He felt Draco's hand slide down his chest then finally back up. Harry moaned into Draco's mouth at the feel of his hand against his chest. The hand made its way to Harry's extremely sensitive nipples, passing back and fourth between them. He thrust up against Draco's thigh that had worked itself between Harry's legs.
It was the sound of muffled laughter and coughing the finally broke apart the pair. Harry's face turned scarlet and he buried his face in Draco's neck.
"Don't you guys have anything better to do than watch us for pointers?" Draco growled.
"Who says we are looking for pointers? Perhaps I'm looking to see if Potter is better at this than he ever was at Potions," was the silky voice of Snape.
Harry gave an embarrassed squeak into Draco's neck as the others started laughing. Draco took a deep breath and tried to pull back, only to be anchored in place by Harry's embarrassment.
"Don't you dare move you prat!" he muttered against Draco's neck. "Not until this goes away." He moved slightly against Draco reminding him of the erection that the actions from moments ago had caused.
Draco snickered and whispered into Harry's ear "Umbridge and Trelawny getting it on in Hagrid's hut."
"Oh EWWW. You are a sick bastard Draco Malfoy," Harry practically shrieked his disgust as he pushed Draco away his erection very effectively taken care of.
Everyone was now looking at the two of them with interest. So Harry shared the statement with the group. He snickered at the equally revolted looks they shared and the glares that all of them gave to Draco.
He and Hermione decided they wanted to visit the lions as well, effectively overruling the others by numbers alone. The small group made their way to the lions pen, the Gryffindors happily ignoring the mutterings of the others.
The trek over to the lions was made very slowly. Mostly because Harry was bouncing around trying to see everything as they went along. And Hermione was busy trying to explain in hushed whispers that NO they would not be able to see a unicorn, chimera, or any other magical creature.
Draco was grousing about not being able to see a chimera. He had been surprised Hagrid hadn't tried to bring one to class. Brought every other dangerous beast for them to study and the one animal Draco wanted to see…no the hairy brute didn't bring it in.
Suddenly Harry darted back to Draco and grabbed his hand. He pulled them over to a stand where he bought a round of lemon ices for the whole group. After just a seconds hesitation, the wizards tasted the ice and deemed it acceptable. Except Snape who held it in his hand and looked at it like Hagrid had just handed him a flesh eating slug. No…on second thought, at least a flesh eating slug could be used in a potion.
At Harry's excited look and Remus' glare, Severus finally and reluctantly took a small taste of the treat. Actually, if he was honest, it wasn't horrible. He had gone for a second taste when Harry gave him a blindingly, nauseatingly, happy smile and he glared at the insufferable boy who had the temerity to giggle and turn back to Draco.
He was trying to figure out if he wanted to just settle for yelling at the boy or make a scene and dump the lemon…thing over his head when he saw the smile on his lover's face. With a sigh decided to do nothing. When did he let himself become so easy-going? Somehow he knew it was all Potter's fault.
Harry was bubbling with excitement. He was back at the zoo. Okay, so he wished the twins and Ron and Lavender were here too. Okay, so maybe not Lavender. She may be Ron's wife but to Harry she was still the empty headed little twit that thought Trelawny was for real.
Even Snape was having…okay so not having fun but at least not glaring too hard. He licked his fingers clean from the treat, looking at Draco as he did it. He loved watching those gray eyes turn smoky with lust. Especially when he knew that his partner couldn't do anything about it. Of course, it usually meant that he was going to pay later. But perhaps that was why he made sure to do as much as possible. He was just cautious of pushing him too far in public.
Just as Draco made a low growling noise, Harry jumped up and tossed his trash away. "Let's go! Lots more animals to see!"
"Harry! Damnit! I thought you wanted to go to the lions," Draco couldn't believe he was actually suggesting that! But the way Harry had been darting around all afternoon, he thought he was going to get dizzy just trying to follow him.
"I do, but lets go over there first!" Harry spun around to talk to the group behind him as he pointed to a penguin show.
Everyone stood gaping at The-Boy-Who-Never-Grew-Up as he skipped over to the penguins. Hermione was the first to start laughing. Draco spun on her to yell at her but instead just stood there with his mouth open. Remus and Pansy then joined in the laughter. Snape smirked at him.
"He's your boyfriend," Severus said. "You go tell him to grow up. I'm not about to."
It took Draco a moment to process the insult to get at the underlying affection. He started laughing. "Oh my! The day that YOU don't want to upset Harry! I must write this on the calendar." He sputtered with laughter.
Just then Harry came back to the group. "What's so funny?" he asked as he stopped with a bounce. That set everyone off in laughter again. Except Severus who masked a smile with rolled eyes.
"Nothing of any intellect. Now lead the way so we can get this torture over with," Snape sneered.
The group proceeded to make their way around the park again, but kept stopping so Harry could get an ice cream or some other nonsense. Snape half wondered if he was going to have to watch the brat chase pigeons from the sidewalk. Hermione and Draco agreed, Harry looked absolutely adorable in his child-like excitement. Pansy thought the whole thing was very weird, seeing Harry Potter like this. She had seen him take down the Dark Lord and now he was acting like her five year old nephew. Remus was pleased to see Harry in such high spirits, at the same time he felt deep guilt that Harry was 20 years old and never had these small excitements. James and Lily would be so proud of their son.
He smiled at Severus and took his hand. Normally Severus didn't like public displays of affection. Today he seemed to sense his lover's inner turmoil and squeezed his hand instead. "If the brat starts chasing butterflies, I don't care how much it disappoints him. I'm leaving."
Hermione overheard this and started giggling. She had brought her wizard camera with her, it looked just like a normal Muggle camera and had intended to take pictures of some of the animals to write a wizard book on Muggle entertainment. Instead she found she was to busy taking pictures of the group. The way everyone seemed to be enjoying the outing. She wasn't about to tell anyone, but she had even gotten a great picture of Snape and Remus looking at Harry. The big shock was that Snape was smiling. She couldn't wait to get that one developed. Collin Creevy was going to develop all her pictures. If she told him they were of Harry, he would probably do it for free.
They had spent the better part of the day at the zoo, finally having seen the lions and Harry seemed to finally be wearing down. That was when the first disaster struck. In the form of a giant koala bear. Or rather, a park employee in a koala suit.
The unsuspecting worker strolled up to the group and approached the worst possible person. He slid an arm around Snape's shoulder. Somehow, the patented glare that had sent Neville to the hospital wing so many times for treatment of nerves seemed to have gone completely unnoticed. Hermione couldn't help herself. She snapped a picture.
Remus saw the explosion coming. Quickly he grabbed his lovers arm, pulled him from the overly friendly "koala" and tried to distract him. When he saw Severus reaching for his wand he knew desperate action was required. He grabbed Severus' head and kissed him.
It was a deep and through kiss and his hands slid to cup Snape's ass. The shrieks and moans of the group around him drew him away. He looked up to see the mixed look in Snape's eyes. One part said "I'm going to kill you for this" one part "I'm killing Potter for this" the other part said "I'm taking you home and you won't walk for a week."
Fortunately, the 'koala' had decided he should probably beat a hasty retreat and was no where to be found when Snape remembered what had prompted the kiss. Then he recalled the other part.
"Granger," his attention turned to the girl. "Give me that camera." His voice was very low and dangerous. She was slowly backing away.
He advanced on her with the promise of death in his eyes. Her eyes widened in fear. She quickly turned and ran from him. Snape was contemplating which curse he was going to use.
Draco knew his godfather well enough to know what he was thinking. And he also knew that he wanted a copy of that photo. No way was he going to let that priceless piece of blackmail go! He turned into his animagus form (He and Harry had worked on that for weeks last year). Without a single thought of where he was. It was a large, sleek black panther (Harry's was a golden retriever). He darted after Hermione and grabbed the camera from her hands. He knew that he could run far faster in this form and Snape would be less willing to hurt him.
He was making a beeline for the exit when it dawned on him. SHIT! People were screaming and pointing at him. He was in a slight bit of panic himself. He had to change back, but where! He ran for a small group of trees at the edge of the park. As soon as he was hidden there he transformed.
A moment later a zoo worker carrying a rather large gun ran up to him and asked if he had seen a panther. Draco shook his head without saying a word. The guy wandered off looking for the 'escaped panther' giving him a warning to watch out for it.
Several minutes later the rest of the group caught up to him. They just followed the excited shrieks and cries of the other people.
"And they say Gryffindors rush right in without thinking!" exclaimed Hermione. "What in the heck were you thinking Draco!"
"He wasn't obviously," said Snape. "We had best be getting out of here before the Ministry of Magic gets here to clean up this mess."
"NO!" said Harry. He was glaring at them.
"What now Potter!" Snape glared right back at him.
"I haven't gotten souvenirs yet," the group looked at him like he had lost his mind. "There is a shop right there. Please?" he whined. Draco clutched the camera in one hand and started snickering.
"What the hell? How much more trouble can it be? Besides, we'll be in the shop. It will take a few minutes for them to get that far," he stood up and grabbed Harry's hand with his free one.
The rest of the group looked at the two boys who had obviously lost their minds. 'Or maybe it was too much sun,' thought Severus. 'Or maybe the Dark Lord cursed me. That's what it is. He cursed me. He was never defeated. This is just some nightmare to drive me insane.'
He continued these thoughts as he followed the two boys. All thoughts of getting that photo back driven completely away. And somehow he found himself carrying the bags back. Filled with three stuffed lions, three stuffed snakes, 6 t-shirts, a bunch of Muggle practical joke toys for the twins, magnets for Mrs. Weasley, Muggle playing cards for Ron, too many bags of Muggle candies that he had somehow agreed to take back to Dumbledore, a Muggle flashlight for Mr. Weasley, and a bunch of other useless garbage (except the excellent selection of animal teeth that he had purchased of course, those would be great for some of the potions experiments he was working on, especially the shark teeth). And somehow it was all worth it when he saw the first look of true contentment on Remus' face all day. Besides, they would beat those Gryffindors at the next game. His mind was already working on a way to win.