A/N: Sigh. Big storm. Tennis ball sized hail. Lots of damage. I have had this chapter done for a bit. Unfortunantly, haven't been able to get a stable connection to get the thing uploaded. Apologies for the delay!
The next morning Harry climbed out of bed feeling much better. He went over to where his over-firm teddy bear was lying on the top of a chest and picked it up. One finger traced over the button eyes and nose before he slowly ran a hand across the soft fur. He shifted his hold on the bear until he was cradling it in his arms and with a pensive look on his face moved towards the closet. He was so lost in his own thoughts he never even noticed the silvery eyes watching his movements with concern.
Harry shut the door to the closet behind him. It was packed full of stuff yet somehow still seemed bigger than his cupboard. He moved a trunk into position and stood on it to grope around the top shelf. Finally his fingertips grabbed the edge of his tin. With the tin in one hand and the bear in the other, Harry climbed down and sank to the floor.
He settled the bear into his lap before he turned his attention to the box that he grasped tightly. With the fingers of one hand he lightly traced the worn sticker on the top of the box. It was a cartoon bird, probably the prize in a Cracker Jacks box or something. Harry had loved it at the time. It was brand new and hadn't ever been stuck to anything. He had loved collecting stickers.
Aunt Petunia would make Harry peel them off the walls and refrigerator and counters after Dudley stuck them there. He always tried to get them off without tearing them. This was the first sticker that he had that hadn't been used before. Then he had thought that meant they cared. Now he looked at the sticker with sadness and realized that they probably hadn't known about his collection, the sticker was just another piece of junk they gave him.
He remembered the day that his aunt had found the collection. She had thrown out the whole pile after telling his uncle that "The little freak has been collecting trash in his room!" It also just happened to be in front of some school friends of Dudley's that had been visiting. The next day everyone at school knew that Harry collected trash in his room.
Harry slowly opened the tin for the first time in thirteen years. He laid the lid on the ground beside him before looking inside at the contents. On top of the pile was a wooden horse. The front leg was broken off and there was a crack down the side. He ran his fingers lightly over the surface. Memories were flooding his mind. Everything that he had repressed over the years was now vying for attention. He didn't even hear the sound of the closet door opening and closing. It wasn't until he felt the arms wrapping around him from behind and saw the legs settling on either side of him that he noticed Draco. He was looking at Harry with concern. Harry noticed the tears on his cheeks. Draco didn't say a word, just held Harry lightly.
He placed the horse on the top of the trunk still lying next to him. In a very quiet voice he told Draco about the day that he pulled the horse out of the trash and smuggled it into his room. How his aunt had gone to the store and forgot to lock the door to the cupboard while she was gone. How he would make the horse gallop across his bed carrying the hero to safety.
The next toy was a small toy soldier. It held a gun in his hand. Harry told how his cousin got hundreds of these and would play with them all over the place. He pulled out several more from inside the tin. His uncle would get furious when he would step on the toys and his aunt had taken to throwing them out when they got stepped on. Sometimes Harry was able to grab one and slip it into his pocket without being noticed.
He continued to talk, Draco never saying a word as he slowly pulled out ten small soldiers, standing them up on the trunk.
"I don't really know how I did it then. Maybe wish magic? But I remember they would occasionally start moving," he gave a slight wave of the hand and watched as the soldiers became animated. "I know how to do it now. Then, I guess it just happened. And I would watch as they played war." He gave a shuddering laugh and waved his hand again. The small men stopped moving and he commented "Somehow, playing war isn't as fun as it used to be."
He felt Draco's arms tighten briefly around him. Slowly Harry worked his way through the tin, pulling out toys and telling his lover the story behind each one. The other man remained quiet, instinctively knowing that Harry needed this. The silent support during his memory purge.
A small doll joined the soldiers and the horse, because someone needed to rescue the princess and carry her off. A handful of Legos that built little more than a wall. A toy car without any wheels and the windows broke out. A couple rubber bands. A plastic "house" from a Monopoly game. A plastic lion that was missing both eyes.
It wasn't long until all his toys were laid out on the top of the trunk. He set the tin on the corner of the trunk. Harry shifted the bear into his arms, cradling it against him the way Draco was currently holding him. He snuggled back into his boyfriend and gave another wave of his hand.
The toys leapt into motion. The lion grabbed the girl and ran to his "cave" of the tin. The soldiers gave chase, "firing" at the lion. They scrambled over the Lego wall that had constructed itself in front of the house. Every toy seemed to have a role in the tale that was enacting itself in front of the two boys. Finally the lion was "killed" and one of the soldiers rescued the "princess" and jumped on the back of the horse, carrying the two back to the safety of home. All of the toys gave a cheer of victory before coming back to a halt.
Draco had yet to say a single word. He watched everything with sorrow. Sorrow for the little boy that had obviously enacted this little drama in a cupboard smaller than the closet they were currently in many times. He was biting his lips to keep from speaking. To refrain from cursing at the neglect. All he wanted to do was whisper words of comfort to the brunette curled up in his arms cuddling a teddy bear like a child.
Draco had never felt this helpless. Not even during the war. At least then for every person that was dead or dying, there were three others that needed medical attention. The little boy that Draco was holding was no longer a child. He was a full grown man who had taken a trip down memory lane and all Draco could do was watch.
Watch the tears that streaked his face from realizing that he wasn't loved by the people that were supposed to. Watch as the favorite game that he used to play was tainted by the reality of the life he lived afterwards. Watch as the toys enacted a drama that Harry seemed all too familiar with watching.
He wondered how often Harry had held the dream that someone would come and rescue him. Draco recalled what he was told about Hagrid telling Harry about the wizarding world. Suddenly he recalled the first time he met Harry and how he had insulted Hagrid. Regret filled Draco as he realized that more than just insulting a half-giant, he had insulted Harry's hero.
Draco tipped the other boy's face up. The red and puffy eyes tore at his heart with the pain that filled them.
"Why didn't they love me?" was the quietly whispered question. It broke the blond. He felt the tears fall from his own eyes.
"I'm sorry," was the only response that he could make. He gathered the broken hearted child in his arms and stood with him. The two made the way out of the closet. Draco led him back to their bed and helped him to lie down. Harry looked so small and helpless lying in the middle of the large bed. He was clinging to the teddy bear in his arms as Draco pulled the covers up around him and tucked him in gently. He pressed a kiss to the lightning bolt mark and promised to be right back.
Quietly Draco closed the bedroom door and made his way to the den. He felt the tears still making paths down his cheeks and hoped that he wouldn't run into any of the others. He didn't know how he could explain the reason that he was crying.
Quickly Draco penned a note to Severus and sent Hedwig off to deliver it. The owl gave him a concerned look and a gentle nip before she took flight. He wiped his eyes and returned to the bedroom. He climbed into bed and gathered his green-eyed angel into his arms and cuddled him tenderly. He crooned loving words to the boy while stroking his hair until Harry finally fell asleep.
It was several hours later before Severus finally arrived. Draco was somewhat surprised that no one had come to find them yet but he was grateful. When he heard the soft knock on the door he shifted his love out of his arms and went to answer the door. He wanted to ignore it when he heard the soft whimper of loss but knew that he was out of his depth in this. He had no idea how to deal with the man that was so strong usually during this breakdown.
Severus did a double-take when he saw the haggard look of his godson. The red rimmed eyes and the messy hair very strong indicators that something serious had happened here. When he looked past Draco he saw the other young man curled up in the bed. He looked even worse, if that was possible; his face bore tracks where tears had dried. His eyes were puffy even in sleep and each breath was shuddering. He was clinging tightly to the teddy bear that Severus had gotten him the day before and the Potions Master found himself wondering if that was what had caused the…whatever had happened today.
Silently Draco led him to the closet. He pointed to the toys, still lying where they had fallen. Only when the door was closed did Draco finally speak. He poured out the story to his godfather and finally showed the older man a re-enactment of the rescue scenario with a wave of his wand. He had never gotten the hand of even simple wandless magic which Harry used with such ease.
Having listened to the story, Severus finally chose to comment. "Draco, I believe that everything is finally catching up to Mr. Potter. He has spent many years ignoring these things and now, between the trips and our intervention, he is finally starting to deal with them. I would imagine when he awakes he will be quite embarrassed, and much like his usual annoying self."
Draco nodded slightly. "What can I do?" he asked.
"I suggest that first you get yourself cleaned up. You look awful frankly. When he does wake, give him a calming potion and just do what feels right. And make sure he gets cleaned up as well before going downstairs. It is bad enough that I have to deal with you two this evening, I really don't want to have a hysterical werewolf all over me as well." He said this with a sneer that was made a lie by the blatant concern in his eyes.
"I don't have any detentions this evening so I will be here late. If you require me for anything, send that blasted house-elf. But don't let him see Potter like that. The only thing worse than Remus getting wind of the brat's condition would be that creature," he shuddered.
Draco snickered. Dobby had followed his "Master Harry Potter sir" when Harry had left Hogwarts and worked in the house for a pay of five sickles and one weekend a month off. In return, he kept the house immaculate, cooked, had made peace with Draco and every holiday decorated the house with Harry Potter ornaments and had even gotten his hands on music and changed all the names to Harry Potter. Draco shuddered slightly as he recalled the previous Christmas when the house was filled with the sounds of "Harry Potter is Coming to Town" and "Harry Potter the Red-Nosed Reindeer". For once Severus and Harry had been in perfect agreement, both working different ends of the house and one by one incinerating the ornaments.
Severus left the room leaving Draco with a vial of Calming Draught and make his way to the kitchen. He knew he was going to have to tell Remus something to explain why he was home during the week. He always returned to school Monday evenings and didn't return home until Friday afternoons, leaving his Apprentice to teach the Friday afternoon and Monday classes. With a sigh he decided the time had come to tell the man a little of what he had learned about Harry.
It was a very somber group that gathered for dinner. The two women were rather confused by the tension in the air. Harry was feeling very light. Between his breakdown and release of emotions earlier and the potion, he was in fact feeling better than he remembered feeling in a long time. He kept up a steady stream of chatter with Hermione and Pansy while Draco and Remus kept giving him concerned looks.
Finally Harry decided to distract his boyfriend from his worrying. During a lull in conversation, he blurted out "By the way Draco, I thought I should tell you I am working at the zoo with the snakes."
The blond sputtered. He didn't even know where to begin with that statement. "Working! I hope you mean managing!"
Harry shook his head. "Nope. Just talking to the snakes and making sure they are doing okay and don't need anything." He popped a mouthful of food into his mouth, trying hard to remain casual.
Snape was the one to start sputtering. "Talking to them! Potter are you insane?"
Harry gave him a funny look. "Why?"
"Are you really that much of a dunderhead? They are Muggles! What are they going to think about you talking to snakes?" Severus felt his eye twitch as he tried to reign in his anger.
"Nothing. They don't know it is possible to talk to snakes. They just think I am making reassuring noises or something," Harry scoffed at the older man's concerns. "Potter, how long do you think it is going to take before they start to question it?" Snape snarled.
Harry felt like he should be getting angry and wondered why he wasn't. Oh yeah, the Calming Draught. Under the table he flicked his wand and cast a silent Cheering Charm on the other man. He snickered when he saw the smile on Snape's face.
"Harry James Potter!" yelled Remus. "What have you done?"
He looked to his godfather with an innocent expression. "I just cast a Cheering Charm. If I can't get mad because of the damn potion he gave me, he can't get mad either." Harry pouted at Remus. He received a glare in response.
Remus stood up and quickly cancelled the spell before rounding on Harry. "If I were you Harry, I would think about running."
"Can't!" Harry smiled up at the werewolf. "I think I took too much of the potion." For some reason Harry the calming sensation kept getting stronger, almost as if he was still taking more instead of the last one having been taken an hour earlier. He slumped against Draco, barely able to hold himself up now he was feeling so relaxed.
Severus went from being furious at being seen smiling and having been hexed to concerned in a flash. He leaned over and grabbed the younger man's plate and drink. A quick examination of the food and drink revealed that it had been tampered with.
"Dobby!" Snape bellowed. The excitable creature was there in a flash.
"Yes sir Mister Professor Snape?" he was bouncing around as he bowed to the glaring man.
"Did you do something to Potter's food?" he asked his voice low and controlled.
"Yes sir Mister Professor Snape! I did just what you said, when Mister Harry Potter woke up, he was to get a Calming Draught. But he doesn't eat properly so I mixed some into everything and made all his favorite foods so that he would eat enough!" Dobby was bobbing around which was very lucky for him as it made him a hard to reach target.
Snape growled. "How many bottles did you wind up mixing into his food?"
"Three!" Dobby answered proudly. "That way he could get at least one eaten."
Snape looked at the nearly empty plate and glass of juice. "Get out of here now!"
Draco in the meantime found himself with a very mellow armful of wizard that was feeling rather boneless. Harry giggled to himself.
"Where's Lockhart?" he asked. The non-sequitor startling everyone.
"Why?" Hermione asked cautiously, speaking for the first time.
"Because. I think he cast the spell wrong again. I don't have any bones," Hermione gave Harry a puzzled look. Draco was starting to look concerned. Remus was watching with wide eyes.
Harry rolled his head back and looked up at Draco. "Your so preeetty." Draco blushed.
"Severus?" he looked up at his godfather. "Um, what do we do here?"
"Let's get him moved to the living room and get him comfortable. He has had four bottles of Calming Draught so trying to talk sensibly to him will be an even more futile effort than usual. Then we just wait for it to wear off," Severus sighed as he watched Draco trying to convince Harry that he did in fact have bones and needed to use them to walk to the other room.
Finally Remus walked over and draped one of Harry's arms around his shoulder while Draco did the same on the other side. The two men half-carried, half-dragged their burden into the other room and the three men fell gracelessly onto the couch.
Draco was trying to get Harry comfortable on the couch but the other boy was being very uncooperative. Snape summoned a blanket from the other room and covered Harry with it.
"Sleep Potter. It is the best thing for right now." He handed Draco a pillow to tuck under Harry's head.
"Don't wanna. Wanna play Snap Snape," Harry giggled. "Snap Snape! Sounds funny. Snip snap Snape. Snip snap snake Snape."
Hermione and Pansy who were watching everything quietly started giggling. They covered their mouths when the said Snape whirled on them with a glare. But Harry had moved on.
"Weeble Wobble Bobble Gobble," Harry was sing-songing nonsense words now giggling uncontrollably.
"I love you!" He broke off his 'song' to announce loudly.
"I love you to Harry," Draco said with a sigh.
"Not you silly!" Draco did a double take. "Everyone. Even Snape." Harry's arm darted out to grab the man's left arm. Snape tried to pull his hand back but for someone so heavily under the influence, he had a surprisingly strong grip. Harry pulled Severus' sleeve back, exposing the tattoo that never truly disappeared.
"That's why I did it you know. I hated you but I didn't. You were an arse. But you made sure I ate before detention. One night I don't remember what I did but you were an arse. I couldn't go to dinner before starting detention. You made the house-elves bring me sandwiches. But I didn't tell lies!" Draco was trying to follow the confusing on-sided conversation.
"Okay, really I did occasionally tell lies to you. But only because I didn't trust you. I mean, you are an adult and you can't trust adults. They lie. Then they hurt you. But you got really mad but didn't hurt me. I have never seen someone so mad they really truly spit! But you didn't hurt me. So I love you. And I killed him because of you."
Snape moved to sit beside the boy. Everyone else was watching and listening quietly, afraid to speak. He slowly ran a hand over the unruly locks of hair and tipped Harry face up to look into his own.
A very uncharacteristically gentle smile flitted across Snape's face. "Harry child, I really think you should get some sleep now. Before you say anything more that you will be embarrassed about in the morning. You have had a rough day and tomorrow you can kill that blasted elf."
Harry was shaking his head. "Don't wanna sleep" he whined. "Want my teddy bear." He looked at Draco. "Where's my teddy bear!"
Snape sighed. "Get him the bloody bear before he tries to get it himself."
"Thank you!" Harry exclaimed before launching himself forward to hug the older man. Snape was still trying to disentangle himself when Draco returned with the bear. Harry let go so suddenly that Snape almost fell off the couch. He glared around the room daring anyone to even so much as smile at his predicament.
Harry lay back against the couch and cuddled his bear. "Tell me a story! Dudley always got bedtime stories. I want one too!"
Remus took pity on his lover at this point and moved forward. "How about if I tell you one Harry?"
Harry looked up and nodded happily. "Okay!"
Twenty minutes later Remus was finishing up his tale and tucking the sleeping boy under the blankets. He pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead and noticed the others still hadn't left the room.
Very quietly they all left the room together. Severus wrapped an arm around Remus, holding him for a moment before they turned their attention to a very pale Draco.
"I have to get back to the school tonight. Harry will be fine in the morning. He may have a mild headache but given the circumstances he might be reluctant to take a potion for it. Just give him a cup of chamomile tea." He gave Draco a squeeze on the shoulder and Remus a last hug and kiss before he left.
Remus wrapped an arm around Draco's shoulder and guided him down the hall to the kitchen. The four housemates sat and drank hot chocolate in silence, each thinking about what they had heard this evening before drifting off to bed.
Draco sat beside his lover and watched over him all night. He vowed to never let Harry go through that kind of pain ever again. His mind raced with thoughts of vengeance and wondered who he could get to help him.