Disclaimer: Dark Shadows is a Dan Curtis Production and not mine
CHAPTER 3: UNWANTED REUNIONS
"B-B-Barnabas..." Willie felt he was suffering from a massive heart attack as he stood face-to-face with his former master with Dr. Julia Hoffman standing mysteriously by his side. With the vampire's presence, Maggie felt her world shattering. It was like fate had insultingly slapped her across the face.
"Is someone at the door?" called out the curious but jovial voice of Roger.
He stepped up behind Willie and Maggie and found his "cousin" from England standing at the front entrance.
"Oh, Barnabas," he said quite surprised. "I see you have returned."
"Why, yes, Roger, I have," said Barnabas.
Just then, Elizabeth and Vicki stepped up to the crowded front entrance and saw for themselves of Barnabas' return.
"Barnabas," Vicki breathed, her eyes growing round.
"Hello, Victoria," Barnabas said with a courteous grin. "How lovely to see you again."
At that, Julia snuck her patient a narrow sideways glance, but Barnabas failed to notice.
"And it is also lovely to see you, Elizabeth," Barnabas added chivalrously.
"It's lovely to see you, too, Barnabas," Elizabeth replied flattered. "How was your return to England?"
"Oh, yes, that is something I'd like to talk to all of you about," Barnabas exclaimed. "In fact, I strongly insist that Willie and Miss Evans remain to hear what I have to say. After all, Willie was my servant for a time, and my departure was abrupt, even for him. I feel I owe him an explanation."
Willie gave him a dark cocky look.
"We were all surprised when you left without saying goodbye," Vicki murmured.
"I assure you, my dear, I have an explanation for that," Barnabas insisted.
"Well, I'm sold on hearin' it." Willie crossed his arms over his chest, casting his former master a knowing grin.
The image of Barnabas lying in a pool of his own blood, followed by the invisible ghost of Josette carrying him off to his coffin boldly absorbed inside Willie's mind.
"Well, come on in, Barnabas," Roger invited, turning away from the entrance. "We are all anxious to hear your tale."
Willie and Maggie allowed Barnabas and Julia to enter the Great House. Passing by the small group at the entrance of the foyer, Barnabas' eyes widened when he gazed upon the brunette woman Roger came to stand next to. Her round blue eyes gleamed in sly mischief when she got a better view of the vampire. She flashed him a bright friendly smile.
"Oh, Barnabas," said Roger formally, "please meet my wife, Cassandra."
Barnabas cocked an eyebrow.
"You married, Roger?"
"Yes, we met in Boston," Roger exclaimed. "Cassandra, I'd like for you to meet our cousin Barnabas Collins. He hails from England."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Barnabas." Cassandra smiled pleasantly at him, but Barnabas was not fooled by her innocence. He knew this was no mortal woman.
He recalled how she used to call him Mr. Barnabas in the same exact manner she just had... in Martinique... so long ago.
Back when they were completely different people.
"The pleasure is all mine, Ms. Cassandra."
Barnabas placed a light kiss on the back of her hand, sending an electrical jolt up her arm. Barnabas knew that sensation all too well. This could only be Angelique. She had come back to ensure her curse was still causing him eternal anguish.
"So, Barnabas, who's your companion?" Burke spoke up, standing next to Vicki in the center of the foyer.
Barnabas didn't realize he was even there until now, him along with young David. Barnabas found he was slightly annoyed by Burke's presence. Before Barnabas could reply to Burke's query, his companion spoke up.
"I'm Dr. Julia Hoffman. I've been taking care of Barnabas."
Near the open front doors, Willie and Maggie quickly looked at each other.
"Have you been ill, Barnabas?" Elizabeth looked at him in deep concerned.
"That's actually what I want to talk to you all about," Barnabas supplied.
"Well, let's all go to the drawing room," Roger suggested eagerly. "You can tell us all about it in there."
Willie and Maggie were about to shut the front doors when some footsteps came their way through the frosty air, accompanied by some familiar voices.
"I enjoyed window shopping with you at Bangor," said a young woman's voice that was unmistakably Carolyn's.
"Yeah, I had fun myself," said a young man who was clearly Joe.
The two stepped up to the open front entrance from the freezing outdoors.
"Well, what is this? A free museum pass?" Carolyn quipped.
She stared at the unexpected crowd in the foyer.
"Cousin Barnabas," she murmured softly, her eyes widened when she spotted him.
"Hello, Carolyn," Barnabas replied.
Joe, however, locked his gaze on Willie and Maggie, who remained standing by the open front doors. Willie icily turned away from Joe, and made his way through the crowded foyer. He was the first to enter the drawing room, while everyone else was preoccupied. Maggie slowly followed after him. That left Joe feeling a little dejected. Maggie barely registered his presence.
Carolyn hardly noticed any of his angst.
"When did you get back?" Carolyn asked Barnabas from the chilly open entrance.
"Just now," Barnabas answered her. "Dr. Hoffman here has been taking care of me." He gestured toward Julia.
"How long are you staying?" Carolyn inquired.
"Hopefully indefinitely," said Barnabas.
"Kitten, you just walked in on some excitement bustling around here," Roger exclaimed to his niece. "Barnabas has just returned, and I brought home a bride." He wrapped his arm around Cassandra.
"What?" A puzzled frown creased Carolyn's features.
Roger came up to the open front entrance with his new bride in tow.
"I'd like you to meet my wife, Cassandra. We met in Boston. Cassandra, this is my niece, Carolyn, and her boyfriend, Joe Haskell."
"No, no, just friends." Joe laughed awkwardly. "We are taking things slow."
"It's nice to meet you." Cassandra shook Carolyn's hand. "Roger has told me so much about you."
"Hmm... it's nice to meet you, too." Carolyn chuckled nervously as her new aunt shook Joe's hand.
"Listen, Carolyn, I need to head out," Joe told her, who obviously didn't want to be here.
"All right, I'll call you tomorrow," said Carolyn.
"Good night," said Joe.
"Good night."
"It's really nice meeting you, Joe." Cassandra smiled warmly at him.
"It's nice meeting you, too, Mrs. Collins," Joe said in a small voice.
Once he awkwardly left, Carolyn entered the manor, and Roger firmly shut the front double doors.
As the group ushered into the drawing room to joined Willie and Maggie, Cassandra felt a pair of sharp burning eyes piercing right through her. This presence was invisible, but Cassandra knew who it was. This person greatly despised her. It could only be Josette.
Cassandra nonchalantly ignored this and breezily entered the drawing room.
David stood by the room's large double doors as he quietly observed the adults filing into the room. Roger gazed down on his son, and said in a reserved tone, "David, why don't you get some studying done before supper."
"But I want to know what happened to cousin Barnabas," David protested.
"You will know in due time."
Roger dismissed him, and stepped into the room. He shut the double doors behind him, leaving David alone fuming in the foyer.
David grumbled over being shut out by a bunch of stuffy adults. But his bitter disappointment quickly dissipated. The sound of a musical flute bounced off the old paneled walls, followed by a cheery voice, "Hello, David."
The boy glanced up. Sarah was on the second story landing, peering down through the bars of the railing.
"Sarah!" David dashed his way up the staircase, and met up with the ghost girl by the stained-glass window on the landing. "Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you."
"I know," said Sarah. "Something is stirring in this house, David."
"Stirring?" David frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I want you to be careful," Sarah warned him.
"Careful of what?" David asked her.
"I see Barnabas has come back," Sarah said evasively, darting her gaze to the shut doors of the drawing room.
"Yeah." David was a little perturbed by her attempt to changed the subject, but he too was curious about Barnabas. "I thought he was gone for good."
"I did, too," Sarah admitted, shifting her gaze back to him.
"He said he was sick," David told her.
"I know," Sarah responded cryptically.
"You knew?" David gaped at her. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I wasn't suppose to," said Sarah simply.
David scoffed at her obvious vagueness, and asked, "Is he feeling better?"
"I really don't know, David," Sarah answered in an honest tone. "But I really do hope so."
In the drawing room, Maggie felt she was in a long dark tunnel. Listening to Barnabas' story made her feel distant in the room like a ghost, and her stomach tightened in revulsion.
She and Willie stood in front of the warm fireplace, as Barnabas sat comfortably on the couch with Julia sitting beside him. Elizabeth sat at the end of the couch, while Roger sat cross-legged on one of the chairs with Cassandra standing tall right by him.
Vicki and Carolyn leaned over from the back of the couch, while Burke had his back turned on the closed double doors.
Maggie and Willie listened dubiously as their former tormentor told a story that they knew too painfully well was a pack of lies.
Barnabas claimed he'd gotten ill several months prior, and decided to not tell anyone. His supposed trip to England was instead turned into Barnabas checking himself into a facility, where he got treated by Dr. Julia Hoffman, who was still taking close care of him, and she herself explained how she was treating him. Her explanation struck Willie and Maggie to also be lies given that these supposed treatments sounded so completely normal.
"Now that I'm on the mend, I would like to get my life back in working order," Barnabas exclaimed as he kept his trusty cane by his side.
"Well, that is very terrible what you went through," Cassandra said sympathetically.
Barnabas cast her an unreadable look.
"Yes, it is," he said.
All of this made Maggie feel even sicker. Dr. Julia Hoffman was Maggie and Willie's psychologist when they were freed from the Old House. Julia was one of the few people who knew what Barnabas truly was, and initially got that information when she was treating Willie and Maggie.
Maggie found it appalling Julia had actually used her and Willie to seek out Barnabas, particularly since they tried so hard to convince her he was gone. What could she possibly want from him?
Furthermore, Maggie couldn't believe Josette would allow Barnabas to be released from his coffin. She felt incredibly betrayed.
"Mrs. Stoddard," Maggie found herself asking, "can I borrow your phone? I need to call pop to let him know Willie and I are coming home."
"Go right ahead," Elizabeth replied welcomely.
"Thank you, I'll take it out in the foyer."
Maggie slink her way out of the room, and Burke courteously opened one of the doors for her and shut it once she exit.
"So, Barnabas, are you really here for good?" Burke asked him.
"I sincerely hope so," Barnabas said from the couch.
"I can't believe you were ever sick," Carolyn said from behind him.
"I'm glad you're doing well," Vicki said kindly beside Carolyn.
Barnabas smiled up at her.
"Thank you, Vicki. I truly appreciate it."
"Well, the family is certainly becoming more eclectic," said Roger from his chair. "And what a perfect time for it. I say we bring on some holly good cheer. Let's throw a Christmas party."
"Oh, darling, that's a marvelous idea!" Cassandra beamed down on her husband.
"It quite is," Barnabas agreed, though he continued to be wary of Cassandra.
That was something that didn't went unnoticed by Julia. But that was nothing compared how wary Willie was of his former master.
In the foyer, Maggie frantically dialed the black rotary phone on the large table. Her heart was racing and her stomach was churning, making her feel like she was suffering from cramps. She placed the phone to her ear.
"Hello."
"Pop, it's me," Maggie breathed into the receiver.
"Darling, when will you and Willie be getting home?"
"Pop, Barnabas Collins is here," Maggie whispered urgently.
"What?"
"Barnabas is here in Collinwood," Maggie said quietly.
"He's up there with you right now!" Sam said angrily from the other end of the line.
"With Dr. Hoffman," Maggie exclaimed.
"You and Willie's psychologist?!" Sam said flabbergasted.
"Yes, she did something to him, but I don't know what it is," said Maggie.
"So, Willie, I see you comfortably laid down your roots in Collinsport in my absence," Barnabas said casually from the couch.
"I gotta job," Willie muttered from his spot in front of the fireplace.
"He works as a maintenance man at the Collinsport Inn," Vicki informed Barnabas.
"You work with Miss Evans," Barnabas mused interestingly.
"Since he rescued her from her abductors, they've become practically inseparable," said Vicki.
"Oh, really?" Barnabas nodded thoughtfully.
Willie didn't like how he was acting.
"I-I better take Maggie home."
Willie rushed over to the large double doors where Burke blocked him. Willie was getting utterly sick of him doing that.
"Hey, Willie, thanks for stopping by, even though we didn't come to an agreement," said Burke.
"Yeah," Willie responded.
He went around Burke and swiftly made his way out of the drawing room and shut the doors behind him without saying goodbye.
He found Maggie talking on the phone at the large table in the center of the foyer.
"Pop, I got to go," Maggie said into the receiver. "We'll get back as soon as we can."
She placed the phone back in its cradle, and Willie quietly stepped up to her.
"Oh, Willie, what's going on?" Maggie whispered to him. "Why is Barnabas out of his coffin, and why is Dr. Hoffman with him?"
Willie grabbed her hand, and said, "Let's find out."
They went through the front doors and departed from Collinwood.
"Are we all certain Willie Loomis has changed?" Elizabeth questioned the group in the drawing room from her spot on the couch. "If you ask me, he's just as rude as ever."
"It's nice having you back, Barnabas," Roger changed the subject, as he lightly swirled his brandy in his glass from his chair.
"I'm very pleased to be back, Roger," said Barnabas graciously.
"Will you be able to participate in the family Christmas festivities?" Roger asked him.
"I'll be delighted to," Barnabas replied honorably.
"Should we be expecting Dr. Hoffman at our Christmas bash?" Roger inquired.
Julia looked flattered. "Well, if I'm invited, I'll be delighted to come," she said.
"Do we really need to throw this party, Roger?" Elizabeth said uncomfortably.
"I honestly think it would be good for all of us," Roger insisted. "After the whirlwind year we've had."
"I think it's a wonderful idea," Vicki beamed approvingly.
"Me too," agreed Carolyn.
"Well, Dr. Hoffman and I better be getting back." Barnabas got up from his seat on the couch, and Julia followed his lead. "It is getting late."
"Where are you staying?" Elizabeth asked Barnabas.
"I'm hoping to continue to reside at the Old House," said Barnabas. "If that is all right?"
"Of course it is." Elizabeth stood up from the couch. "None of us have been there since you left. Not even David, I think."
Julia excruciatingly knew that last statement wasn't true. She had to carefully dodged from David whenever the boy unwantedly showed up at the Old House to seek out Josette. He became a nuisance, and unknowingly interfered in Julia's work.
After a while, Josette persuaded the boy to stopped coming to the Old House. She decided to start visiting him at Collinwood. That would surely help Julia to peacefully conduct her bizarre experiment.
Barnabas quickly hugged Elizabeth and shook Roger's hand to congratulate him on his marriage. He shifted his dark gaze on Cassandra. He once again placed a light kiss on the back of her hand. Like before, his cold lips sent a jolt up her arm.
"It's lovely to meet you, Ms. Cassandra," Barnabas said to her.
"It's lovely to meet you, too, Mr. Barnabas," Cassandra responded a little flustered. "It'll be inevitable for us to meet again."
"Yes," Barnabas agreed. "Good night, everyone."
With that, the family watched their "cousin" and his lady doctor exit the Great House.
From the opened entrance of the drawing room, Vicki warmly wrapped her arms around Burke and rested her head on his chest.
"It's wonderful Barnabas came back," she said joyously, listening to her fiance's heart beat. "And just in time for Christmas."
"He hasn't changed a bit," Carolyn said bemused.
"It's rather interesting being a part of a family meeting," said Burke. "It wasn't all that long ago I wanted to destroy you all."
"Oh, real tactful, Burke!" Roger scowled at him.
Wanting to avoid treading through the difficult fact of Roger sending Burke to prison for a crime he hadn't committed, Vicki reminded steadily, "We all put that behind us."
Burke tenderly thread his fingers through her soft brown hair, and said gently, "Yes, we did."
Cassandra wrapped her arms around Roger, and said brightly, "Oh, this will be a wonderful Christmas."
"Yes, it will," Roger promised his bride.
Elizabeth silently observed them with blatant disapproval.
"I did not anticipate this!" Barnabas snarled, as he and Julia trudged their way through the snow, which continued to fall from the night sky covering the tall thin dark forest trees. Barnabas used his cane to vividly shove the snow off the path leaving a trail behind.
"Are you referring to Willie and Maggie?" Julia questioned her patient, trailing closely beside him in the frosty night.
Barnabas was indeed surprised to see those two at the family home. He hadn't wanted that to be true from the moment he spotted the parked vehicle that looked conspicuously like Willie's truck.
"I may have to settle them," Barnabas declared darkly.
"Don't be ridiculous," said Julia. "We have made tremendous progress with your treatments. We've come a long way. There's no need for you to revert now."
"I don't need to revert to settle them, doctor," Barnabas countered.
"There's no need for killing, Barnabas," Julia argued. "We both know Willie and Maggie are going to find out about the treatments, and we need to reasonably explain to them..."
"They're going to expose me, doctor," Barnabas interjected.
"Not when we explain the treatments to them, and what we're trying to do," said Julia calmly. "Besides, we both know Josette won't permit you to harm them."
Barnabas lowered his gaze as he and Julia continued trailing through the snow in the dark winter woods. Barnabas had to come to terms with the fact that Josette did try to protect Willie and Maggie from him when he held them captive. He lost the Old House to Josette and was technically at her mercy. He had no choice but to accept the reality that he had no control over his life.
"Yes," he conceded reluctantly, tightly shutting his eyes and gripping his cane. "Be that as it may, Willie and Maggie are not the only threat to me. Angelique has returned."
"Angelique?" Julia knitted her brow. "The witch that cursed you with your vampirism?"
"And destroyed mine and Josette's happiness," Barnabas said resentfully. "Now she's masquerading as a new Collins."
"Roger Collins' new wife," Julia concluded.
"Yes, I'm afraid so," Barnabas said softly, shoving the snow with his cane more roughly.
"Is she immortal like you are?" Julia inquired.
"She lives on my misery," said Barnabas. "She's here to ensure I remain suffering from her curse for not returning her love. I'm afraid she'll disrupt our process, doctor."
Julia's gaze darkened.
"We have come so far, Barnabas," she said seriously. "I will not let that happen."
"Seeing her was just like meeting her all over again for the first time," said Barnabas thoughtfully.
Julia glanced at him. "I beg your pardon?"
"Just like Martinique so long ago..." Barnabas' whispered voice sounded so distant, further perplexing Julia.
Whatever Barnabas was reminiscing over, his gaze returned to the present. As the two neared the Old House, Willie's truck was unmistakably parked close by. As the two trudged onwards, they found the front double doors wide open. Barnabas and Julia rushed in, and found Willie and Maggie waiting sternly in the parlor.
They were surrounded by the glow from the fireplace and the candle light with the leaping shadows accompanying them. Josette's portrait hung dominantly above the mantel.
"We gotta talk, Barnabas," Willie said with his arms back to being crossed over his chest.
"Yes, we must," Barnabas agreed.
A cold tingling chill crept down everyone's spines. The transparent ghost of Ben Stokes nervously materialized out of thin air into the room.
"I beggin' ya pardon, Mr. Barnabas," he said submissively, fiddling with his chubby fingers. "I thought it would be fine to let 'em in. Ms. Josette is mighty fond of 'em."
"Yes, she is," said Barnabas. "You are dismissed, Ben."
Even though Barnabas was no longer Ben's master, the old servant still harbored some degree of loyalty to him. In spite of everything, Barnabas still valued Ben Stokes as an old dear friend. Ben faded away, taking his chill with him. Some of the lit candles blew out from his departure.
As she glanced around the parlor, Maggie couldn't believe she was back at the Old House and facing Barnabas. His blood where she and Willie staked him still stained the floor. But she inwardly vowed to not allow her fears to get the better of her.
She felt a fleet of invisible presences coursing through the old shabby manor, with the eyes from Josette's portrait peering down throughout the room. Maggie remembered having this feeling when she'd left here with Sam and Willie.
"So, Dr. Hoffman," Willie drawled. "I see you and Barnabas became pals. Ya look to be more than just a head doctor."
"We've established a relationship over the past several months," Julia admitted with a slight shrug of her shoulders.
"What kind of relationship?" Maggie demanded shortly.
Julia was silent. She slowly shut the front double doors in the foyer to ward off the harsh winter chill, and she and Barnabas properly entered the parlor. Barnabas sat on his armchair with his cane in hand. Willie closely eyed the object.
"I see ya got that fix."
"Yes, it was awfully thoughtful of Ben to repair it for me," said Barnabas.
"What kind of relationship do you have with Barnabas, Dr. Hoffman!?" Maggie demanded impatiently.
"A doctor/patient relationship," answered Julia coolly. "I have been treating him."
"You've been treatin' Barnabas?" Willie raised an astonished brow. "For what?"
"Why, his vampirism, of course," exclaimed Julia logically.
"You're trying to cure Barnabas from his curse?" said Maggie.
"Yes, with science," Julia said proudly. "And Josette supports me."
"Obviously." Maggie didn't know what to think.
"Why are ya doin' this, doctor?" Willie queried.
"All my life I believed life and death is an ongoing continuum," said Julia. "They both can merge harmoniously, but in all my years of research, men like Barnabas only existed in stories. When I met you two and heard what you both went through, I knew I needed to investigate."
"And lo and behold you found your vampire subject to perform your experiment!" Maggie shot at her.
"I'm only trying to help," Julia said rationally.
"Am I suppose to conveniently forget what he did to me, doctor!" Maggie spat breathlessly. "How he violated me! Just because I look like Josette!"
"Maggie, I can't take back what I did," Barnabas said from his chair. "I am trying to set things right."
"Are you, Barnabas?" Maggie said fiercely in a dark glare. "Are you really?"
"All I can say is I apologize completely," Barnabas said to her.
Maggie laughed bitterly, sounding a little mad. Willie placed his calming hands on her shoulders.
"Maggie, please calm down," he told her pleadingly.
"He ruined my life!" Maggie spat at him bitterly. "And yours!"
"But Dr. Hoffman could really help him," said Willie. "This could get rid of the curse."
"Willie..."
"Josette wouldn't have let him outta his coffin if she felt this wasn't right," Willie cut her off.
Maggie reluctantly took in his words silently.
"Yes, but the quest for my cure has been put under great jeopardy tonight," Barnabas said soberly.
Willie and Maggie returned their gaze back to him on his chair.
"Angelique has returned," Barnabas said to them.
"That Cassandra woman," Maggie surmised with a curt nod.
"Nicely deduced, Miss Evans," Barnabas complemented.
"She looks a lot like Angelique," Willie commented thoughtfully.
"You two met Angelique?" Julia said surprised.
"Sort of." Willie shrugged.
"None of you mentioned this in our sessions," said Julia.
"Dr. Hoffman has tried to add in some new blood cells to my system to replenish my thirst for blood," Barnabas ventured suddenly.
"Yes, we made some tremendous process," continued Julia. "He can no longer transform into a bat and diminished some of his thirst for blood."
"But I'm not impervious to sunlight," Barnabas said grimly. "And these treatments are weakening me and stripping every ounce of my strength. I'm afraid I'm too vulnerable to deal with Angelique. She surely came back to better ensure I remain suffering from her curse."
Willie wondered if Barnabas still had his mind control power. He strongly felt uncomfortably connected to his former master.
"Barnabas," he said tentatively, "me and Maggie think Angelique has a portrait of herself at Collinwood."
"What?" Barnabas' eyes darkened.
"Vicki showed it to us when we were over there," Maggie exclaimed. "It's up at the West Wing. It's probably one of those... mystical portraits like yours and Josette's." Maggie gestured up to Josette's portrait. "Vicki is pretty drawn to it," she added.
"Angelique is intending to take control of Collinwood," Barnabas stated, utterly distressed.
"What?" Maggie said worryingly. "Does this mean Vicki and the Collinses are in danger?"
"That woman destroyed my entire family," Barnabas said seethingly. "She's bound to do it again."
Maggie found herself growing intensely worried for her friend.
"I'll watch over Collinwood." Willie's words shocked everyone.
"You'll do that?" Barnabas said quite taken aback. "How?"
"Devlin and Vicki wants me to fix up the West Wing," Willie explained to him. "I'll use that as my cover."
"You'd do that for me Willie?" Barnabas raised an intrigued eyebrow.
"Yes." Willie nodded obediently.
Maggie was crushed by his answer. "But Willie... you got a job at the Inn."
"I just can't let Barnabas' curse go on, Maggie," Willie told her gently. "I hafta do this."
"You do?" Maggie looked at him sadly.
Abruptly, the front doors of the Old House burst wide open. Stomping footsteps strongly trespassed their way in.
"Sam, please, let's be rational about this."
Sam barged into the parlor along with the disgruntled Dr. Woodard. Sam locked his gaze on Barnabas in a savage glare.
"You!" he hissed. "I won't let you get away with what you did to my daughter!"
Sam pulled out a wooden stake from the pocket of his rain coat. He charged after Barnabas, but Dr. Woodard tried to restrain him.
"Sam, no! He could kill you!"
Sam angrily shoved the doctor aside and advanced on Barnabas. Several distress shouts resounded throughout the room as Sam lunged after the vampire with his stake in hand.
Next Chapter: Begrudging Acceptance