you say you still care for me
but your heart and soul needs to be free
now that you've got your freedom
you wanna still hold on to me
you don't want me for yourself
so let me find somebody else

get out, get out of my life
and let me sleep at night
'cause you don't really love me
you just keep me hanging on
'cause you don't really need me
you just keep me hanging on

You Keep Me Hangin' On, Kim Wilde

Chapter 2

Two hours and eight glasses of champagne later, Addison finally stumbled out of Sav's apartment. She hadn't wanted to stay, but the thought of Derek possibly waiting for her at the brownstone and Weiss' persuasion had convinced her to. The party had been great, and Addison realized that she hadn't been to a party, a real party, in ages. Probably since before her marriage had started to fall apart.

As she watched looming skyscrapers zoom by from inside the taxi, she couldn't help but think about Derek. Why had he really come back? Did something happen back in Seattle? Did he really want her again? And most important of all, did she want him?

Her thoughts were soon interrupted by the cab pulling to an abrupt stop. Addison paid and fumbled in her purse for the keys to her apartment. When she finally reached her door, she noticed the lights were on. She hadn't left them on.

Upon opening the door she was hit with the sweet smell of cinnamon candles. They were everywhere. She gasped at the twenty-something bouquets of red roses scattered throughout her living room. As she bent down to smell them, she couldn't help but feel tears prick at her eyes. Derek had used to do this. Back when they were living together. She would come home from a night at the hospital and find flowers everywhere. Tulips, daisies, gardenias, every flower imaginable. But for some reason, Derek had stopped doing it after they were married. Maybe because his caseload at the hospital kept growing, or the fact that Addison spent more time with his best friend than she did with him. Whatever the reason, she missed it. She missed it so much.

"Do you like them?"

She turned around to see Derek leaning against the wall.

"I love them. But don't think this makes up for anything, because it doesn't."

"I know. How was the party?"

She sat down on the couch and began to untie her shoes. She couldn't believe they were actually having a conversation. Maybe it was all the champagne she had consumed, but she couldn't think of a reason to kick her ex-husband out. It didn't seem like a good idea.

"Oh, it was great. I got to see some old friends, and Weiss really seemed to have a good birthday. It was fun."

"Good." He paused, looked down at this shoes, and continued.

"I didn't mean to scare you. Coming back here, I mean. I just, I needed to see you."

"Why? Why did you need to see me? Did Meredith go back to Finn, is that it?" She was surprised she wasn't screaming. It was too exhausting to scream, so she instead opted for a defeated tone of voice.

When he replied, she realized he was kneeling in front of her. "She picked me. But I couldn't do it. I came back because after you left, I was miserable. I didn't know what I would be losing until I lost it. What I did with Meredith, it wasn't supposed to happen. I regret it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week-"

"I think I get it, McDreamy," Addison interrupted.

Derek smiled at the use of the nickname, and continued. "The truth is, Meredith couldn't replace you. She couldn't even come close to you. You're smart, you're insanely gorgeous, and you have this uncanny ability to cheer me up when no one else can. I'm sorry, Addie. I'm sorry for everything. I need you. I love you."

"I just need to know one thing."

"Anything, Addison."

"Why did you stop noticing me? Why did you constantly cancel out on me? What made me so insignificant, Derek?"

"You weren't insignificant, Addie. I just-I wanted to be a good surgeon-"

"You already were a good surgeon."

"But I felt like I had to keep working to prove that. Prove to everyone that I was talented. I wanted to be Chief of Surgery so badly that, I don't know. I lost it. I really lost it."

"You certainly did," Addison teasingly replied.

Derek laughed, and placed his hand on her knee. "So, what do you say Addie? Want to give it another go?"

The pleading look in Derek's eyes made her want to say yes, but she knew she couldn't. Not just yet.

"I love you, Derek. You know I do. You know how vulnerable you make me. You know that you have this effect on me. And as much as I want to give it another try, I need you to wait. Just wait for me."

"How long?"

"I don't know. I want to be able to forgive you before we move into anything."

"Richard expects me back in Seattle tomorrow."

"Do you want to go back?"

Derek couldn't keep the grin off his face. "No way. I want to be with you."

Addison smiled before she responded. "I'll probably regret this tomorrow, but I honestly can't help myself."

Before she could think about what she was doing, her lips were on his. It felt so familiar, the way she wrapped her arms around his neck and the way she moaned as he parted her lips with his tongue. When they pulled apart, they were both on the floor, breathing heavily.

"How'd you get in here, anyway?" she asked between breaths.

"I still had my key."

"Well, don't ever lose it."

"I won't," he promised as he gave her another peck on the lips.

"Now what do we do?"

"I'll call Richard tomorrow. I'll ask him if I can stay for another couple of weeks. He's a reasonable man, he'll agree to it."

"Sounds good."

"Addie?"

"Yeah?"

"I can sleep here, right? You know that I'm not a hotel kind of guy."

Addison just laughed as she bopped him on the head with a pillow.

A/N- K, I know that sucked. I just wanted to post it before school started, that way I wouldn't forget. So yes, I'm sorry for this sucky last part. Hopefully by the 21st, you'll forget all about it :P