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WARNING: This chapter includes brief but graphic violence.
Ch 21: Strings
The first thing Tokoyami registers is humming. It fills him with a sense of warmth; his mother is always humming, her deep voice rumbling throughout the house. It drifts upstairs to Tokoyami's room, often accompanied by his father's whistle. The feeling of home and comfort is so strong that it nearly lulls him back to sleep.
"Fumikage!" Dark Shadow calls.
Tokoyami responds with the mental equivalent of a yawn.
"Fumikage, stay awake. I can't protect us right now."
"Protect us? From what?"
"From the doctor."
The illusion of home shatters. There is no comfortable, familiar bed, no whistling, no warmth. The air is sharp with antiseptic, and whatever he is lying on his cold and hard. His chest aches. He shifts uncomfortably, only to find that his wrists and ankles are tied down.
"Where are we? What happened?"
The veil between them lifts, and Tokoyami is flooded with memories that are only partially his own. They're disjointed and out of order, but they always return to Hawks and Ujiko.
"He saved you, Fumi. You're hurt bad, and the doctor saved you. That's what matters most. I was really scared," Dark Shadow explains.
"I'm frightened, too. I'm glad we're alive and together," Tokoyami replies.
"There's more. The doctor said he's going to change us. Make us stronger than before, but…different."
"Different?" As they speak, Tokoyami becomes more and more aware of his physical surroundings: the aches in his body, the restraints on his limbs, the clink of metal, and the incessant humming that no longer sounds anything like his mother. Dark Shadow's dread feels like cold water running down his spine. The sensation pools in his stomach alongside his own anxiety.
"I'm sorry. I had to make a deal, or he said he would take us apart," says Dark Shadow.
"That was no deal. He took advantage of you, so there is no need for us to abide by whatever terms you struck."
"I'm still afraid. I can't protect you from this."
"Then rest easy, Dark Shadow. It's my turn to protect you."
Tokoyami opens his eyes, only to immediately shut them against the bright light above him. He groans. The humming cuts off, and then there are hands on him. Tokoyami turns his head and squints at the doctor.
"Ah, you're awake! I was hoping you'd remain unconscious until we were finished with the move, but I suppose this is a good sign for your prognosis. How do you feel?" Ujiko asks.
It seems pointless to lie to the man who has a better idea of his condition than he does, so Tokoyami answers truthfully. "Thirsty. Sore. Tired."
Ujiko nods. "All to be expected. The injury to your chest was severe. You'll have to deal with the thirst for now, and the pain. I can't give you anything else until we get to my lab."
"Lab?" Tokoyami rasps. As far as he can tell from the tall glass cabinets and long tables around them, they're already in one.
"My personal lab, not this shoddy excuse for one. We'll be leaving as soon as you and my other patients are safe to transport."
"What other patients?"
Ujiko hums. "That stunt Hawks pulled at the end of the fight did quite a number on the League. I know better than to get that close to a death match, and Spinner was still unconscious, but you might have killed Shigaraki, Twice, and Mr. Compress if Dabi hadn't reacted so quickly. I had my work cut out for me stitching up skin and setting broken bones. Most of you need more care than I can give here. We need to relocate anyway, thanks to your interference at U.A. Normally I'd have little Johnny use his warp quirk, but it briefly blocks your airways. Given the laceration to your chest and the smoke inhalation, I doubt your lungs would handle it."
The dull ache in Tokoyami's chest spikes at the memory, a phantom of the original wound made sharper by the certainty of his mentor's betrayal. "Hawks stabbed me."
"Yes," Ujiko replies. "I suppose there's no accounting for one's friends."
Some part of Tokoyami hoped that the doctor would tell him he was wrong, that his memory is flawed. He doesn't know what to feel now. He's furious, of course, but he's also confused. Speed is Hawks' greatest weapon. If he'd wanted to kill Tokoyami, he would have done it before Dark Shadow had the chance to fight back. In fact, he had a hundred chances to kill him when they were trapped together. So why didn't he? Why help him escape only to hurt him?
"Is he alive?" Tokoyami asks.
"More or less," says Ujiko. He steps back a little, giving Tokoyami a better view of the room. Glass cabinets and shelves make up the room's perimeter, most containing dusty microscopes and outdated textbooks. Those closest to him have been cleaned up for the doctor's use. The rest of the room is filled with long, sturdy tables, empty except for the one beneath him and the one containing Hawks. What Tokoyami can see of Hawks is bruised, blistered, or bandaged, and he's hooked up to an I.V. line.
That brings Tokoyami's attention to the needle and tubing taped to his own wrist. He follows the tube back to a bag half-full of a clear liquid. "What is this?"
"Mostly simple fluids to help replenish your blood supply, plus a touch of my own concoction. I'm afraid the ingredients are a trade secret," says Ujiko.
Tokoyami's panic grows, and he can barely speak past the tightness in his throat. "What have you done to me?"
"Saved your life," the doctor replies condescendingly. "Please don't get so worked up. This is only the beginning of a long and, I'm sorry to say, painful process. The results are well worth it, however. You and your shadow will be more powerful than all of your wildest dreams."
"No!" Tokoyami gasps. "Stop this. I don't want-"
"But you've already begun, my boy," says Ujiko. "You see, that matchup between you and Hawks was never about your strength. Such quirks are easy to come by and have a high rate of compatibility. What I really needed was something that would leave you open to a fundamental shift in your brain chemistry; strong, negative emotions like hate, guilt, and despair. To be the victim or perpetrator of violence, to lose all faith in what you were so that you may be reborn. That is the true foundation of my nomu."
Tokoyami's heart hammers in his chest and his breath comes in short, cold gasps. He had terrible nightmares of the nomu's beak-like face becoming his own after the attack at USJ. Seeing other nomu on the news hadn't helped – especially the high-end that attacked Hawks and Endeavor. The creature's insubstantial form and glowing yellow eyes were far too familiar for comfort.
"Oh, and you will enjoy this! If Hawks dies, I've decided to give you his wings. You impressed me with your eagerness to fly during that valiant attempt at escape, and with Toga gone we need someone new to play the fallen hero."
Every muscle in Tokoyami's body freezes up in sheer terror. He imagines his brain exposed and his spine twisted to accommodate red wings, his body stitched together with bloody knots while a red-eyed shadow hovers above him. He wants to scream, but what comes out is no more than a whimper. "No. Please, no. I'd rather die."
"You will, in a manner of speaking. You will be in stasis for a large part of the process. However, I'd prefer you remain conscious for as long as possible. The purpose of this test is to ensure your brain is able to survive without any serious detriment."
Ujiko presses his fingers against the pulse in Tokoyami's wrist and shines a light into his eyes. Then he nods, apparently satisfied. "You're doing well. I'm going to check on the others. When I return, I'll get you ready to move. Just think: another hour and you'll be out of here. Isn't that what you want?"
No, Tokoyami thinks. He wants to be with his parents and his friends. He wants a hero to come and save him. If the doctor gets his way, there will be no escape for them, no going back. They will be trapped in this nightmare forever.
The door shuts behind Ujiko with a horrible finality, leaving Tokoyami and Dark Shadow alone once more.
"We have to get out," Tokoyami thinks. "We have to get out of here right now."
"How? It's too bright for me to rage, and I can't borrow energy from your body without hurting you," says Dark Shadow.
"I don't know, but we can't stay here. We cannot let this happen – for our sake, and for the sake of our friends. Whatever he's planning will not stop with us," Tokoyami replies. Even though his wrists are restrained at his sides, he's able to move them enough to slip a hand into his pocket, seeking the comfort of his flashlight's smooth surface. Instead, he only finds the thin wire of his guitar strings. He must have lost the flashlight during the fight – or did he throw it intentionally? His memories are hazy at best, but he does recall a beam of light hitting his face, helping him resurface from the shadows. "Hawks…"
"This is his fault!" Dark Shadow hisses. "All of it! Everything that's happened to us is because of him!"
Tokoyami rubs his thumb over the rough, spiraling surface of the strings. "We can't think about that right now. All we need to know is that we cannot expect his help – or trust it, were he conscious."
"If you get rid of the lights, I will carry you home. I will kill anyone in our way."
Tokoyami grits his teeth and agrees. "It is us or them. We may not have our full strength, but neither do our enemies. We'll go through the first exit we find. Forget strategy, and don't worry about my injuries, just get us out. If I die a free man, that's enough."
"I don't want us to die," says Dark Shadow.
"Nor I. Not really. But I'd rather die as ourselves than as a mindless puppet for these villains. Isn't that what we always agreed on, that we will train as heroes and never become what so many accused us of?"
"I already made my choice, Fumikage. I am with you."
Tokoyami almost smiles. "And I you. Can you still do Black Ankh, like before?"
"I can try."
"Then untie me quickly, before the doctor comes back."
"Got it!"
A thin shadow slithers down Tokoyami's right arm, turning to claws just under the restraint. It takes Dark Shadow more effort than usual, but he is eventually able to cut through the straps. Tokoyami carefully flexes his wrist while Dark Shadow regroups and then slides down his left arm. As soon as his left hand is free, Tokoyami pries back the tape and eases the catheter from his vein. The very idea that the doctor forced something into him makes his skin crawl.
While Dark Shadow works to release the straps on his ankles, Tokoyami attempts to sit up. A wave of dizziness nearly sends him crashing down again. Dark Shadow rushes back up towards his head and hovers over him warily. "Fumi?"
"It's alright. I just need a moment," Tokoyami replies. His arms shake with the effort of holding him up and he forces himself to keep breathing past the sharp, tight pain in his chest. Unfortunately, he has no more time to rest. The door clicks and the handle turns. He and Dark Shadow share a brief, panicked thought before reaching frantically for the restraints on his ankles.
"What's this? You still have some fight left in you. That's a promising sign for your future. I must ask you to lay back, however. You'll only succeed in hurting yourself."
Tokoyami doesn't reply, and Ujiko sighs. "What exactly do you intend to do, should you free yourself? Even if you were able to pass me – which in your state, I doubt – you have the League to face. And what of Hawks, will you leave him behind?"
"We will do whatever it takes to be free of you," Tokoyami replies. His right ankle comes free, and Dark Shadow rushes to help his stiff fingers with the final strap.
"Whatever it takes! Now there's a villain if I ever heard one. You're not so far from us as you think; just look at what you've done to Hawks."
"We are NOT villains!" Dark Shadow flies at Ujiko, but the doctor holds up a large flashlight. Dark Shadow shrieks and dissipates completely.
"Dark Shadow!" Tokoyami shouts. The quirk responds with the barest thread of a thought, then curls deep within him, energy finally spent.
Ujiko sets the flashlight down on a nearby shelf, the beam still directed at Tokoyami, and reaches for his wrist. Tokoyami tries to pull away, but his left ankle is still strapped to the table and he nearly falls off the edge. Ujiko pins him against the table with a sinister grin. "If you refuse to cooperate, I will take that shadow from you. I can't wait to open you up and see where he hides."
Tokoyami shoves the doctor back with all his strength, sending him crashing against the shelves. "You will not touch him!"
"And what will you do to stop me? You can't even free yourself without your quirk." Ujiko brushes himself off and starts preparing a needle from the next shelf over. "However, I can't have you trying something stupid and causing further damage to that body. A sedative will do you a world of good."
Tokoyami gropes around for something, anything he can use against the doctor. The only things in his reach are the catheter he pulled from his wrist and the guitar strings in his pocket. Ujiko grabs his arm and-
There's a huge crash from somewhere below them. Ujiko's grip loosens as he glances at the floor and grumbles, "I told Dabi to take it easy."
Tokoyami moves without thinking. He wraps the guitar strings around the doctor's neck and pulls as tight as he can. Ujiko's hands fly up, one trying to loosen the strings and the other stabbing at Tokoyami with the needle. Tokoyami dodges the needle and loops the strings around his hands, tightening his hold. The metal strings cut into the doctor's neck and he drops the needle entirely in favor of desperately tugging at them.
"You will never make a monster again – not of us, not of Hawks, not of anyone!" Tokoyami snarls. He refuses to let go even as the strings dig into his palms. Ujiko sinks back against the table. Dark Shadow goads him on with wordless cheers, and he probably would have pulled until he slit Ujiko's throat if not for a confused hum from across the room.
"Tsuk'yomi?"
Hawks' eyes are barely open, but he's looking right at Tokoyami. Tokoyami's grip slackens. He can't kill a man, no matter how evil. He refuses to follow his mentor's path. He lets go of the strings and the doctor slumps to the floor, unconscious.
Hawks is still when Tokoyami focuses on him again, and he briefly wonders if he only imagined his voice. Then Hawks blinks. "Quick question. Are we real?"
There's a lot Tokoyami wants to say to that, ranging from rage to disbelief. He doesn't have the energy for any of it. "Yes."
"Okay."
There's another crash below them. Tokoyami forces himself to reach for the last restraint on his ankle. He will not give Ujiko the chance to wake and rip Dark Shadow from him. He will not break his promise to his brother, the only one who has stayed by his side through it all.
"I'm sorry I stabbed you," says Hawks.
Tokoyami's bloody fingers falter on the strap. His hands are shaking, and he lets the silence between them stretch on until Hawks speaks again.
"I'm glad you lived."
"Then why stab me?" Tokoyami snaps.
"If the doctor was torturing you, I'd be sorry I missed."
Finally, the strap slides from its buckle and Tokoyami is free. He braces one hand against his chest and one against the table, then slowly lowers himself to the floor. He glances down at Ujiko and nudges the man with his foot; he doesn't move, although Tokoyami can see the rise and fall of his chest.
Sure that the doctor is no longer a threat, Tokoyami makes his way over to Hawks. The man is lying belly-down, his wrists and ankles restrained with the exception of his right wrist. Hawks' entire right arm is a mangled mess. It's been partially bandaged and splinted, but since it's clear the doctor intended to finish treating it later (if at all).
Hawks' back is the true concern. There are almost no feathers left, and those that remain are tattered and burnt. The rest of Hawks is covered in burns, too, all the way across his back, onto his side, and even across part of his face. The long cuts across his torso are undeniably the work of Dark Shadow. Tokoyami doesn't know how to feel about it – or rather, he feels too much about it, and there's no time for him to process it all now. No matter how angry he is, he's not about to leave Hawks helpless. He forces his shaking fingers to start working on the straps.
"Don't waste your time. You need to get out of here," says Hawks.
"Shut up. If I leave you like this, you're as good as dead," Tokoyami replies.
"Doesn't matter. I'm a liability, I can't-"
"I said shut up!" Tokoyami wrenches the strap off Hawks' left wrist and moves to his feet.
Hawks closes his mouth and shuts his eyes. He remains still and silent as Tokoyami releases the remaining restraints, only flexing his limbs as each one is freed to get the feeling in them. When the last strap falls away, Tokoyami comes back around toward his head and shakes his shoulder. Hawks blinks at him.
"What are you doing? Get up. You said it yourself, there's no time," he says.
To his credit, Hawks makes a valiant effort to stand. He gets his good arm under him and manages to sit up, then stumbles as he slides himself off the edge of the table. He tries to catch himself with his bad arm and crashes to the floor. Tokoyami reaches for him without thinking and nearly collapses beside him when his lungs tighten. He catches himself on the edge of the table and shuts his eyes, waiting for the spots to clear from his vision. The world is still hazy when he realizes Hawks is speaking.
"-yomi. You good?"
"No," he gasps out.
"Same here," Hawks replies.
As soon as he's certain his legs will hold him again, Tokoyami pushes himself off the table. He offers Hawks a hand, but Hawks doesn't reach back.
"It's time for you to fly solo, little crow," he says.
Tokoyami gapes at him. "What?"
"I can't get up, and you can't carry me," Hawks replies.
"Try harder. I'm not leaving you here to die."
"You're going for help," Hawks insists.
Tokoyami shakes his head. The rumbling sound is getting closer, and Tokoyami can smell smoke. "There's not enough time."
"Exactly. Even if I manage to stand on my own, I'll slow you down. That's karma, I guess. You have to-"
"Listen to me for once!" Tokoyami shouts – or tries to. He ends up clinging to the table and whispering the rest. "You can't give up. Not now, not after everything you've done. You can't make me do this alone."
"You're not alone," Hawks replies gently.
"Dark Shadow is weak. And even if we escape, you will be beyond any help I can find. They'll kill you – or worse – before any heroes can get here."
"I know," says Hawks. He finally reaches up to take Tokoyami's hand. He squeezes it once and lets go, leaving behind a feather as small and sharp as the doctor's scalpel. "I can't get you out of here myself, but I can slow them down. Let me do right by you for once. Let me be your hero one last time."
Tokoyami swallows. It isn't fair of Hawks to rob him of his anger so quickly, to make it so much harder to hate him. "Hawks…"
"Keigo."
"What?"
"My real name is Keigo Takami. Take that to the Commission and ask them anything you want. Tell them you'll go to the press if they don't give you answers – and then go to the press anyway, honestly, fuck the Commission. Tell them I quit. But to do all that, first you've got to survive," Hawks replies.
Tokoyami swallows. The smell of sweet smoke is getting stronger, and somewhere nearby he can hear shouting. They're out of time. He tucks Hawks' feather into his pocket and limps to the door. It's unlocked and the hallway is empty. He looks back at Hawks. "I'll tell them. I'll tell them everything, the good and the bad. I can't forgive you now, but someday…Thank you, Keigo, for being my teacher. These lessons have been hard-earned, and I will not forget them."
Hawks smiles. "I'm glad you were my intern. I'll see you on the other side, Fumikage. Dark Shadow, too."
Tokoyami bows as much as his injured body will allow, then shuts the door.