*** regular text = Jasper's point of view. Italic text = The Major's POV ***

JASPER

As much as a pain in the ass his brother could be, Jasper was happy for Edward. Oh, he knew more than Edward probably thought regarding his brother's feelings, his struggles, and the agony of choices that being immortal provided.

Being in a relationship with a human? The idea never sat well with Jasper. Sure, he could pretend to be a regular student to keep his family's cover. He could put up with the frantically chaotic emotions of adolescent humans, suffer through inaccurate history classes, and occasionally pick up on an interesting bit of gossip to share with Rosalie. But none of that was really a life.

Pretending to be a teenager. Go to school. Sit through classes with stifling air, beating pulses, awful smells of cafeteria food, the wonders of the library if the school managed to have one, do homework on autopilot, rinse. Repeat. In a blink of an eye the family "graduates," packs everything up, and moves on to another area that at most lasts just a few years.

If nobody slips up.

If he doesn't slip up.

That way leads to madness.

Jasper knew the endless abyss that line of thinking would leave him. More importantly, he knew he couldn't let himself down that rabbit hole today of all days.

Afterall, it was his brother's first bachelor party.

Jasper opened his eyes to reveal his room from the chair he had been lounging in. It was a spartan style room, but his Lily had added her own touches to the room to make it almost theirs.

Almost.

He had plants stuffed into corners, on special plates to protect surfaces, in between books on his bookshelf, and even a plant hanging from the wall. She had clothes in his dresser, a robe and some fox slippers she had to get on one of her girls' days with Rose.

But what it didn't have was HER.

Jasper reached down to readjust himself in his pants, as his thoughts instantly turned dirty.

Her blood tasted like honey. All of her tastes like honey. Where is she? Why isn't she here? Is she-

Jasper shook his head before finishing the line of thoughts.

One after another they would creep into his mind, whispers of nightmares of his past. Fears for his present. Uncomfortable with the unknown of the future.

And he could never truly be himself with his thoughts with a telepath in the house. But oh, how he longed for it. The ability to fully release himself and simply be who he is.

He was worried, hadn't fed in a few days, and anxious for the wedding tomorrow. Bella had insisted that her human friends be invited as well as the pack. He could feel the aggravated emotions of Rose three doors down from him, the bubbly emotions bordering on frantic of Alice downstairs with Esme, his sweet surrogate mother.

His phone alarm buzzed, letting him know it was time to collect Edward with Emmett and get a start on this party.

Where is she?

Jasper took an unnecessary breath in to get a hold of his thoughts before encountering his brothers. The last thing he needed was an unsolicited "talk" about his dueling personalities. He focused on the bond tugging at his soul to feel for his beautiful mess of a mate. He could feel Lily's contentment, the underlying anxiety she almost always seemed to have, and the feeling of being full. Guessing she had just finished dinner, he sent her a text message.

Jasper – "Hey doll, I'm heading to Bella's to grab E and go hunting."

He put his phone in his jeans pocket before getting up, stretching, and heading towards his door. He found Emmett downstairs in the garage waiting by his Jeep.

"Yo! You ready for some action?" Emmett asked, arms crossed as he leaned against his car.

"Depends. You still gonna give him husband tips?" Jasper asked back, smirking.

"Fuck yea I am! He fucks up too often to not give him a few helpful suggestions. It might make all our lives easier if he got his shit together."

Jasper went into the driver's seat as Jasper moved toward the front passenger seat. Just as he was buckling up, his phone pinged. Shimmying his leg out he pulled his phone from his back pocket to see it was a reply from Lily.

Lily – "Okay love, be safe! Have fun! Try not to strangle him too badly!"

"You guys are disgustingly cute" Emmett said, teasing Jasper.

Jasper just shrugged before pocketing his phone. "I don't think cute applies to me."

"Oh, I think you're awfully cute. Like how a crocodile is cute."

"You just want to wrestle with one again so it can do a death roll on you."

"Damn right I do! It's the closest thing to a dinosaur I'm ever going to get. Speaking of, you know what Lily fucking messaged me when she found out? Without batting an eye she looked me straight in the eyes and said "did you run out of bears?" like seriously? Low blow man.

"Is that why she bought you a stuffed crocodile?"

"Oh, it gets worse. That crocodile? It's a build a bear type of thing. So for the sound she included? Yeah. Fucking grizzly bear."

Jasper laughed. "That absolutely sounds like her."

The collection of Edward went smoothly. After assuring Bella that nothing crazy was going to happen, they made it to the woods where they parked the Jeep and went bounding into the forest depths.

Several mountain lions down, they were all starting to feel sloshy. Not full, just sloshy.

You should ask our Mate for her lovely neck. Or better yet her inner thigh.

Edward groaned having picked up on Jasper's errant thoughts. "How can you even think of biting her again? You're lucky you didn't lose control when you did mark her."

"Don't like my thoughts? Then stay out of 'em."

Emmett was playing with a rock, tossing it in the air before catching it as they all decided to relax a bit in the woods under the stars. A peaceful calm took over the brothers for several minutes until Edward broke the silence.

"Was it hard?"

"Hmm?" Jasper replied. "Was what hard?"

Edward looked down at his hands in his lap, clenching and unclenching them from the fists he was making while he fidgeted. "When you. . . you know. Was it hard?"

Emmett chuckled before tossing the rock at Edwards head, who ducked just in time to avoid it. "Eddy boy, if you can't say it you probably shouldn't be doing it."

Edward rolled his eyes before taking a breath and trying again. "Was it hard holding back when you had sex with Lily.

She's ours. OURS. Not his. Never his. Mate. Protect. Claim.

"Well, Lily isn't exactly human so I can't say its fair to judge it. Other humans I've been with before I never had much use for them other than a feed and fuck.

"I've only ever had eyes for my beautiful Rose. Shed do more damage if I so much as thought about another woman than anything you would ever do in the bedroom Edward."

"You guys are no help."

Taking pity on his brother, Jasper decided to give him some advice. "Focus on breathing. You'll want to go faster, harder, and she may even beg you to. But until she's changed? Just try to make her happy with other things. You guys have lasted this long right?"

"I don't think I'll be able to get out of having sex with her while she's still human. You know how newborns are. She's afraid I won't want her after that phase, that she won't be the same."

"Happy wife happy life Eddy boy!" Emmett joked before plopping down next to Edward. "You have to get really good at apologizing. And listening. You must listen, and not with just your ears. You listen with your eyes."

Edward snorted.

"No, seriously! Just hear me out! You read minds without ever really focusing on what people are saying verbally or otherwise. I can always tell when Rose has something on her mind or if I somehow fucked up by how she holds herself. You have to listen to her, even when she doesn't say anything. Its when your wife is silent you really need to pay attention. You have your mind reading, Jasper can read emotions, but me? I got nothing. So, I had to get real good at listening. It's made me a better man by doing it."

"What happens if you find your mate?" Jasper asked quietly. "You know as well as I do that she isn't it. You can't force that type of bond. Whats your plan?"

"I . . . I don't have much of one" Edward replied. "I'm hoping that once she's turned, then r blood singer bond will morph into a mate bond. She thinks that's how it'll go atleast."

Isabella isn't a good match. Too weak, too pushy, too easy.

"Are you happy?" Jasper eventually asked. "Are you happy? Is this what you want? She just needs to be turned. You don't have to go through all this if you have doubts."

"And risk her dying?"

"She's dead either way."

"Jas, man, don't kill the vibe." Emmett remarked.

"No, this is important. I'll change her myself if you need me to. You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Edward was lost in thought, and his brothers let him have his time. Eventually, he spoke again in a broken voice.

"I'm ruining her life. . .I've ruined everything for her."

Emmett bumped his shoulder with Edwards. "No man, you haven't. But humor me. How have you ruined her life?"

"I'm taking her life! I nearly destroyed her when I made us all leave. She still doesn't believe I'm real at night. She'll lose all her family and friends. She'll never get to be a mother. She will be stuck with this decision all because I was stupid enough to not stay away from her." Edwards voice broke at the end of his rant and put his face in his hands. However, he wasn't done.

"She will never have a normal life. Just because I change her won't stop the Volturi from trying to collect her. I'm betting her gift gets even stronger once she's turned. Aro already wants Alice and me. He could and would use Bella to get us. The perfect trifecta. The shield. The future. The present.

Jasper snorted, causing Edward to look up from his pitiful stance. "What?"

"You're being a bit dramatic don't you think? He has a shield. He can read minds. Yes, Alice's gift is amazing but its not perfect. Don't borrow trouble."

"I'm not borrowing it if its likely to happen. Besides, you're doing the same to Lily."

He lies. Our Mate is happy. Fed. Safe. Ours.

"Lily and I are mates, Edward. We're building our relationship as we grow together. You can't compare us to your relationship."

"You'll have to turn her, or you'll lose her too. Taking away any possibility of her having children. Her parents already know, so you're going to make her lose them eventually either to the Volturi or maybe even yourself. You guys can barely stand to be apart from each other. That's not even including the fact that she's still very much alive and a temptation for you."

"I am not having this discussion. Those choices, as always, are hers to make. If she wants children, I will fucking find a way to give 'em to her. Anything she wants is possible because I'll make it possible."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Lily isn't human. I don't know how that will affect anything or everything, but I do know one thing for certain. I love her. Her desires, whether its children, school, travel, or to have a whole nursery of plants for her to play with are mine to provide. It's an honor and a privilege to be her fucking Mate. So, instead of projecting onto me, why not be mature and work through your own issues. You're getting married tomorrow. So, I'll ask again. Are you happy? Is this what you want?"

Edward sat back, leaning against a tree as he looked up at the stars.

"I know I'm my happiest when I'm with her. When she smiles, her eyes light up this beautiful chocolate color with green and swirls of gold. She may not be my Mate, but she's my world. And she wants me to change her, and I want to do something right for her for once. She might not understand why I pushed for the marriage as hard as I did yet, but in 50 or 60 years from now? Those memories of having her father walk her down the aisle, her mother helping her with her hair, her friends laughing and dancing around her? They'll be just as precious as she is. She needs this, whether she knows it or not yet."

"Then leave the bullshit drama at the door" Emmett piped in. "You're always doom and gloom. I think its leftover from your human years, but the shit gets old. You want her. She wants you. You love each other. So be happy, marry that woman, and for the love of God try to make sure she doesn't fucking trip in those heels Alice got her."

Jasper snorted at the image, but the snort turned into a laugh as his brothers started to laugh at the thought.

"God" Edward said after he finished laughing. "She's probably going to be the only clumsy vampire to ever exist."

"And she's all yours lover boy" Emmett teased. "Lets head home before anyone starts wondering why there's a Jeep abandoned.