Once chapter left! I've had such a good time writing this and reading all your comments. I really wish I could've included more of 1A in this chapter, but I didn't want it to get overwhelming so I stuck with those who've had a particular connection to Tokoyami's plot in this story. It's time he got some much-deserved closure.
Chapter 26: Friends Like These
Tokoyami isn't sure how he'll handle seeing his friends. They're the ones who left him, the ones who saved him, and the ones he wronged all rolled up into one. His parents help him adjust the bed before leaving, so he can greet his friends upright if not on his feet. Recovery Girl has had him up and walking, but only in short, supervised bursts. He fought the League and survived, and now he's not allowed to walk to the bathroom by himself. It seems like a step backwards, despite Recovery Girl's many reassurances that rest will speed up his healing.
There's a knock at the door just after the lunch bell. Tokoyami takes a breath – slow, careful of his chest – and tells them to enter. Kirishima bounds in, a massive grin on his face, followed more sedately by Amajiki. They are both quite clearly alive, with barely any evidence of the fact that they'd been hospitalized and poisoned what couldn't have been more than a week ago.
"You're alive," Tokoyami whispers, drowned out by Kirishima's shout of the same thing. He reaches for Tokoyami with wide open arms the minute he reaches the bed, and Tokoyami flinches. Dark Shadow emerges, creating a barrier between them, and Amajiki tugs Kirishima back by his collar.
"Recovery Girl said to take it easy, or she'll lock us both back in here. I really hate hospitals."
"I think we can make an exception when our friend comes back from the dead!" Kirishima complains. He puts his hand out for Dark Shadow to examine, like he's introducing himself to a strange, skittish dog. Tokoyami supposes the metaphor is apt, and surprisingly effective. Both he and Dark Shadow relax.
"From my perspective, you could claim the same miracle," says Tokoyami.
Kirishima sobers quickly. "Recovery Girl told us about that."
Amajiki nudges him, and then they bow in practiced unison. "We are sorry that we contributed to your suffering."
Tokoyami gapes at them. "You're sorry? I'm the one who made you suffer! I chose to sacrifice your lives for the school, and they attacked the school anyway!"
"That wasn't your fault," Kirishima says firmly.
"You don't understand," Tokoyami replies.
"Did you tell them to poison us?" he asks.
"Of course not! I tried to stop them, but I sent them to U.A. and more people got hurt."
Kirishima frowns. "Well, by your logic it's my fault they made it to U.A. That crazy girl used my face to get inside."
"You couldn't have done anything about that," says Tokoyami.
"And you could have?"
"I…it's complicated," Tokoyami replies.
"It isn't," Dark Shadow says, bumping against his beak. "We did our best to save them, and now they are here. We succeeded."
"That's right!" Kirishima says.
"Are you really okay?" Tokoyami asks.
"Recovery Girl's quirk healed my knee and Amajiki's shoulder really fast. We're just being monitored for adverse effects of the poison now," Kirishima explains.
Tokoyami ducks his head. "You should never have had to suffer that at all."
"Neither should you," Amajiki says.
Tokoyami has to concede the point. "You are correct. There is far too much suffering in the world as a whole."
"I wish we could've gone on the mission to rescue you. Recovery Girl benched us. We stayed with Mirio and Eri; I know that was important too, and we could have been a liability, but it just sucked, you know? We couldn't do anything but wait for news. I felt totally helpless," says Kirishima.
"I understand. I felt much the same, watching you fall," says Tokoyami.
"You saw that? So embarrassing." Amajiki reddens and hides as much of his face as possible in the collar of his uniform.
"No, no!" Dark Shadow exclaims, surprising them all when he darts over to Amajiki and gives him a thumbs up. "It was really heroic!"
"Your flight skills are impressive, especially given how little you use them," Tokoyami agrees.
"I knew we couldn't beat Hawks. I just wanted to throw him off balance, give the civilians a chance," Amajiki replies.
"That wasn't Hawks. Frankly, if it had been, you wouldn't be here. In the air, he is almost unbeatable."
"Almost," Dark Shadow emphasizes, puffing out his chest.
"Is he a villain now?" Kirishima asks.
"Yes." "No." Dark Shadow and Tokoyami say at once.
Tokoyami sighs. "It's complicated. Villains and heroes, good and evil – I always knew such distinctions were oversimplifications, but now I have seen just how many shades of grey there are on both sides. In the end, Hawks saved my life. Does that make up for the fact that he nearly took it?"
"Was he the one who kidnapped you?" Kirishima asks. "'Cause you were just gone, man, right off the street in the middle of the day. It didn't make any sense, even with the whole mutant killer thing, until we started thinking Hawks was involved. He was your mentor; you'd go to him without a fight."
"No, it wasn't nearly as complicated as that," Tokoyami replies. "It was Mr. Compress. I ran into him on the street, and he marbleized me before I realized who he was. That's all. It's so stupid."
"It's not." Kirishima takes Tokoyami's hand and grips it firmly between his own. It stings his palms, but it's a good kind of pain. Grounding. "It doesn't matter how it happened. You're here with us now, and you're alive. We're all alive, and we're going to keep it that way."
Tokoyami stares at their hands for a moment, then meets Kirishima's eyes and puts his other hand on top. "Agreed."
Kirishima grins. "I hope you're ready for some company, then, because we're not letting you out of our sight for a long time. Plus, now that I'm all clear, 1A needs someone else to mother."
"They really do," Amajiki agrees. "Mirio says Kirishima's friends adopted me. They're all so nice."
"You make that sound like a bad thing," says Kirishima.
"It's awful. They notice me all the time now, and they're always bringing me snacks." He reaches into his pocket and produces a packet of jerky, sunflower seeds, and a brand of protein bar favored by Bakugo.
"Wait…even Bakugo is feeding you?" Tokoyami asks.
Kirishima laughs. "Oh, just you wait. He can be more of a helicopter mom than Iida, with twice the shouting. Plus, you and Dark Shadow kind of punched him in the face when he was trying to pull you out of the rubble," says Kirishima.
"We what?"
"Don't worry! He's fine."
"Did we hurt anyone else?" Tokoyami asks.
"No. He said you just lashed out, and I think they were worried you'd hurt yourself more than anything. Midnight put you to sleep," Kirishima explains.
"What about Hawks? The villains? What happened at the end?"
"Sorry, man. I don't know for sure. They weren't allowed to tell us the details; you'll have to ask the others," says Kirishima.
"I will," Tokoyami replies. He's determined to get answers. How is he supposed to move on if he doesn't remember how it all ended?
The second lunch bell rings, signaling an end to visiting hours. Kirishima and Amajiki get to their feet. "We'll come back soon. I promise."
"I'll hold you to it," Tokoyami replies.
Amajiki shuffles his feet for a moment, then holds out his hand. A tiny sprout springs from his palm and quickly grows into a fully bloomed sunflower, heavy enough that it flops back against Amajiki's arm. He plucks it from his palm and hands it to Tokoyami. "I, um, I hope you get well soon. And…thank you. For keeping us alive."
Tokoyami finds himself at a loss for words. Dark Shadow accepts the flower instead and pats Amajiki's head. He blushes and promptly turns on his heel. Kirishima laughs, says his goodbyes, and follows. Recovery Girl returns not long after that to give him another round of healing, and Tokoyami finds himself drifting back to sleep.
When he wakes, there are new voices in the room. He tenses, cursing himself for falling asleep when he needs to be on guard. He never knows when the League will return, if they intend to feed him or question him or-
"You know, we never did take a moment to thank you."
That's his mother's voice. All at once Tokoyami remembers where he is; the bed below him is full and comfortable, the blankets are thick, and the room smells of antiseptic instead of mildew. He can recognize the other voices now, too; apparently a few more classmates have arrived.
"There's really no need, ma'am. We're heroes, and he's our friend. I would fight the League a hundred times over to get him back," says Iida.
"It only seemed right. I still feel like we were the ones who lost him in the first place," Shouji adds quietly.
"We've told you many times that you were never to blame, and I know for a fact that your teachers have said the same thing," says Tokoyami's father. "When Fumikage wakes up, I'm certain he will agree."
Is that so? Dark Shadow hums.
Tokoyami wishes the skepticism came from Dark Shadow alone, but the question is a genuine one. Through all those dark and lonely days, he'd wondered how they could leave him behind. The revelation of Hawks' betrayal hadn't helped matters. He's still reeling from it – hasn't had time to process it at all, really. Everything after his fight with Hawks happened too quickly. Now, Tokoyami supposes, he and Dark Shadow have a choice to make: do they take Twice's advice to never forget or forgive, or do they let go of all the wrongs that have been done to them?
Not all, Dark Shadow immediately replies. No mercy for burns, doctors, and traitors.
You make a fair point, Tokoyami thinks. Well. Perhaps we don't need to decide just yet.
The talk around them has turned to the battle with the League. Iida and Shouji are explaining the details to his parents while Kouda, Hagakure, and Bakugo fill in the blanks. His friends may have come late, but they did come for him. He almost certainly would not have survived without them.
As Iida describes carrying Tokoyami to the front door, his mother's hand lands on his shoulder. When Hagakure excitedly adds how he and Dark Shadow used Shadow's Shroud to protect the others from Shigaraki, her grip tightens to the point of pain. He shifts uncomfortably and opens his eyes.
"I still can't believe he pulled out a super move like that. It was so, so-"
"Stupid?" Tokoyami grunts.
His mother's grip loosens, and all eyes turn on him. "Tokoyami!"
"Hey, welcome back!" Hagakure exclaims. "I was going to say super cool, by the way."
"I'd rather you not encourage such recklessness," says his father.
"It saved our lives, sir," Shouji says. "We should have been the ones protecting him. It's one more thing we…I need to answer for."
He and Kouda hang their heads. Tokoyami doesn't know what to make of it, especially when his mother's shadows pat their shoulders while her fingers gently comb through his feathers. "You already know how we feel about that. However, I will happily rescind my forgiveness now that my son can answer for himself."
Tokoyami frowns. "What do you mean?"
"Talk to them. Take your time, and don't push yourself." She kisses his forehead, then pulls away.
"We'll come back with dinner, Fumikage," says his father. "Take care of him for us."
"We promise," Kouda replies.
His parents depart, and Tokoyami blinks at his friends. "When did you become so familiar with my family?"
"We met them at your funeral," Iida says quietly.
"Oh." The weight of it lingers in the room; no one will meet his eyes. Tokoyami decides he has had enough of being a corpse surrounded by mourners.
"It's rather uncouth to host an event in commemoration of my demise without the courtesy of a notice."
The statement is met with bewildered silence. Dark Shadow emerges to offer a translation. "It's rude not to invite us to our own funeral."
There's another beat of silence, and then Bakugo bursts out laughing. "Oh, thank fuck, it really is you."
"You feared I was a copy?" Tokoyami asks. "I wouldn't blame you, were that the case. Be comforted by this; it's all the proof I have."
He wills Dark Shadow to manifest more fully. Bakugo plants himself defensively and Iida backs up a step, but Kouda and Hagakure reach out to pet his head. The quirk practically melts.
"Dark Shadow can't be cloned," Shouji explains. "Not properly. And even your clone tried to help me fight Twice."
"Twice's clones share the memory and personality of the original. The measurements must also be exact, and it is not possible to quantify Dark Shadow," says Tokoyami.
"That's right! I'm a – what's it called, Fumi?" Dark Shadow sends the concept through their bond, and Tokoyami supplies the words.
"An enigma. Unfathomable, immeasurable. Alive." He repeats the last word in English. "Alive."
"And practically indestructible!" Hagakure adds excitedly.
"Yeah!" Dark Shadow crows, growing with pride and nearly knocking over the medical equipment. The clatter startles them both, and Dark Shadow shrinks to lay himself over Tokoyami. "Almost. Not enough. Fumi still got hurt."
Tokoyami runs his hand over and through Dark Shadow's back. "You saved us, Dark Shadow."
"You saved all of us," Kouda says.
"What happened at the end? I remember bits and pieces. Hawks rolled us off the gurney, and the wall fell…then nothing." Tokoyami glances at Bakugo. "Kirishima said I punched you?"
Bakugo scoffs. "If that's what you call a punch, then you've really let yourself go. We had to dig our way back to you, and I got there first. You wouldn't let anyone touch you without a fight. I can respect that, but you were a mess."
"Mr. Aizawa erased Dark Shadow and Midnight put you to sleep. You were practically unconscious already," Iida adds.
Tokoyami nods. It's a little embarrassing to know they saw him at his worst, but it's also the reason he asked to see this particular group. "Thank you for getting us out. Not just then, but earlier, with Shigaraki and Twice; I don't think Dark Shadow and I could have held out much longer."
"Of course!" says Hagakure. "You really don't need to thank us. Like we told your parents, we'd do it again in a heartbeat."
"You have my thanks nonetheless," Tokoyami replies. "Was anyone else hurt in the collapse?"
Iida shakes his head. "By some miracle, the ceiling stayed up. We got a little banged up, but nothing serious."
"And the villains?"
His friends glance at each other, none quite willing to meet his eyes. Bakugo's jaw is clenched so tight it's a wonder his teeth don't snap. Tokoyami braces himself. Some part of him knew all along this wasn't over. "How many escaped?"
"Two," Shoiju replies. "Shigaraki and Dabi."
"No." Tokoyami leans forward against his knees, feeling sick and cold. Dark Shadow flits towards the window and then the door, canvasing the room for exits and vulnerable spots.
"Not safe," he hisses. "Gotta protect Fumi. Never going back there, never never never-"
"We're not going to let that happen. I'll blow their damn faces off before they get near you again." Bakugo growls.
"That's right," says Iida. "Mr. Aizawa promised there'd be a hero watching over you at all times until you're back on your feet, and we plan to join them as soon as we're allowed. I've made a schedule."
Tokoyami takes a few slow breaths, focusing on his friends' words and the smell of the clean sheets. It helps to know everyone is looking out for him, although the prickle of unease is not gone. "What happened?" he asks once his voice is under control. "How did they manage to get by everyone?"
"It was chaos," Shouji says. He speaks with his real mouth and clasps all six of his hands together to keep from crushing something. "There was debris everywhere, confusing my senses no matter how many eyes and ears I made. We were trying to get to you, trying to protect ourselves, and trying to hold onto the villains we did have. In all of that, Shigaraki got a hold of the device I picked up from the doctor. Black smoke poured from his mouth and Dabi's, and they disappeared before we could reach them."
"That's what it was for," Tokoyami whispers. "I knew I'd seen that box with the doctor before. He has a nomu with a portal quirk. He said he was going to take us all to his lab. He was going to…"
Blood red feathers stitched to his back, skull and eyes cut wide open-
"Do you want to talk about it?" Kouda offers.
"No."
Tokoyami knows he'll need to talk eventually; at the very least, the police will have questions. Shigaraki and Dabi are at large and his friends deserve to know what they're up against. However, there are parts of the story he isn't ready for his friends to know. They have enough reason to pity and mistrust him already. His stomach churns and Dark Shadow frets. They need a distraction.
"Tell me about school. How is everyone?"
"You want gossip? That I can deliver!" Hagakure announces. She scoots closer to the bed and launches into a series of stories about their classmates, from trivial high school dramas to breakthroughs in training. He hears about their joint training with class 1B, with Shinso taking his place, and the continuation of their internships. While it heartens him to hear of their success, he can't help feeling jealous. His classmates have grown while he languished in the light.
They forgot us! Dark Shadow thinks.
They believed us dead, Tokoyami counters. They mourned and moved on, as they should.
But we are not dead. We were never dead. They left us!
Tokoyami wishes he had a better argument in response. Dark Shadow is only echoing his own feelings; feelings that were branded into his heart just as surely as the burns on his skin.
That's when Shouji chimes in. "Jirou and I looked for you while we interned with Gang Orca."
Tokoyami whips his head around.
"He doesn't want to talk about it!" Iida hisses.
"I'm not asking him too. I'm telling him what I did during my internship," Shouji replies. "It was search and rescue training. We learned a lot about tuning out unnecessary information with our quirks."
"What did you find?" Tokoyami asks.
"Not much," Shouji admits. "Gang Orca was going after the Mutant Killer. Turns out, that wasn't where we'd find you."
"But then…" Tokoyami's brow furrows. "That was after they said I was dead."
"Yes. We only convinced Gang Orca to let us stay by promising we weren't looking for revenge. It was the truth. We wanted answers, and if we couldn't get you back, we wanted justice," says Shouji.
"We all did," Hagakure adds, and Kouda nods. "We couldn't believe you were gone. Then Midoriya started doing that muttering thing, and Todoroki asked weird questions, and we all agreed that it really was unbelievable, that something didn't make sense. So, we kinda did our own investigating."
"You actually looked for me?" It's hard to speak past the lump in his throat. He hates how small his voice sounds.
"Of course we did!" Bakugo shouts. "Half'n'half, Sparkles, Dunce Face and I split up all over the city in the first week, just in case that shadow of yours forgot how to behave again. We threw a fit when the cops wanted to call it off after 48 hours."
"We'd never leave a fellow hero behind," says Iida. "We even tried a few things that weren't exactly allowed."
"There wasn't much to go off of, though," Shouji admits. "Just a hunch and a few pieces that didn't add up. I'm sorry it took us so long, and – and I'm sorry we left you behind that first night. Kouda and I should have kept looking after curfew. We should have started the minute you were late and didn't answer your phone. We let you down."
"No, you didn't," Tokoyami says. "You tried and failed, and then you tried again until you succeeded. You didn't forget me. You believed in me, you believed that I was alive. And I am, I'm alive. I'm not a ghost, I'm not lost forever, I'm…I'm home. We're home."
Dark Shadow surges around him, wrapping him in a full body hug. Tokoyami is crying now, and he can't be embarrassed about it when everyone around him is crying, too.
"Tokoyami…can I hug you?" Kouda asks softly. Tokoyami nods. Kouda carefully shuffles to the bed and wraps his arms around him.
"Can I hug you, too?" Hagakure asks.
"Yes. You all can. I'd like that a lot, I think." No one has held him since his kidnapping except for Hawks, and that was always colored by hesitance or desperation. This embrace is one of joy and hope, an eager and equal exchange. Hagakure joins quickly, followed by Iida and Shouji, who uses his extra arms to drag Bakugo into the group and wrap himself around all of them. Not to be outdone, Dark Shadow drapes himself over the whole group.
This is how Mr. Aizawa finds them, some minutes later. He knocks on the door panel and clears his throat. Bakugo, Iida, and Kouda are quick to extricate themselves. Shouji and Hagakure hold on a moment longer, giving Tokoyami a squeeze before letting go. Tokoyami decides he doesn't care what Aizawa thinks of the display. The whole country knows him as the U.A. kid who got murdered, what more could a hug do to his reputation?
"Do you want a hug too, Mr. Aizawa?" Hagakure asks. The others snicker, and Tokoyami can't help smiling at the thought.
"Not this time." Aizawa's tone dries up the laughter immediately. It's bad news, then, and Tokoyami has a feeling he knows exactly who it's about. "Sorry to cut the visit short. I need to talk to Tokoyami. You can come back later if Recovery Girl approves."
The knot of his classmates tightens around him momentarily, like they're prepared to defend him from whatever Aizawa is about to say. It's nice to know they care for him, that they're willing to go against Aizawa for him, but he also knows this is something he wants to hear alone. He isn't ready to confront all the complicated emotions he has about his one-time mentor in front of them. He isn't really ready to do it alone, either, but it appears he doesn't have a choice.
"It's alright," he says. "Please give my best to our classmates, and I'll see you again soon."
His friends file out with quiet farewells and well-wishes. They linger at the door before they leave, keeping their eyes on him until it closes. He can't blame them; after so long thinking he was alone, he doesn't want them to be out of sight either. But first, there is someone else he needs to see.
"It's Hawks, isn't it?" he asks before Aizawa has time to open his mouth.
"Yes," Aizawa replies, blunt as ever.
"Is he dead?"
"No, but they don't think he has much time." Aizawa sighs and crouches beside the bed so that they can be at eye-level. "His injuries were extensive, and he hasn't responded well to traditional treatment or quirk healing."
Tokoyami looks down at his hands, playing with the edge of a bandage that's coming loose. Hawks is dying. Dying because he protected Tokoyami, and because he betrayed him. He doesn't know what to say. Dark Shadow doesn't, either. He wraps himself around Tokoyami's shoulders and nuzzles his beak, a cool, affirming presence from the only one who could really understand what makes this so complicated.
"Has he said something?" Tokoyami asks.
"He asked to see you," Aizawa replies.
Tokoyami shuts his eyes. He isn't ready for this. He isn't ready to see Hawks, he isn't ready to lose him. It feels like another betrayal. How dare Hawks die and leave Tokoyami and Dark Shadow alone with this mess?
"Tokoyami," Aizawa says, "you don't have to go. This is in no way your fault or your responsibility. However, if you do decide to go, I can be with you the entire time. Your parents won't be allowed beyond the main floor due to the facility's security, but I or any other pro hero you'd feel comfortable with will stay with you."
"What do you think, Dark Shadow?" Tokoyami asks silently.
"I want to know the truth, even if we don't like it. If we don't go now, we will never know. And…"
"…and?"
"And no one deserves to die alone."