Jazz and Prowl were speaking in quickly whispered tones in the hallway. Skyfire was helping to move some equipment for Wheeljack when he passed by the pair. It had just happened that he heard the words "tacere-avem" and "seeker" and he dropped his equipment, its components breaking and pieces of it rolling across the ground.

He slowly turned around to see the pair looking at him with more than a little surprise. "Tell me I didn't just hear you say that."

"Say what?" Jazz said, defensively. Prowl put a servo on his shoulder.

"What do you know about it?" Prowl asked levelly.

Skyfire felt a rage bloom inside him as neither of them denied it. "Is… is there a seeker in there?" he asked, his frame trembling. "Did you drug him with… tacere-avem?!"

Both of the mechs pulled back at his change in demeanor. He didn't blame them. He was usually so mild-mannered. They also didn't deny anything. "Open the door."

"Now wait just a minute-" Jazz said, angrily shaking his finger at the shuttle.

"OPEN IT!"

Prowl moved in front of Jazz to open the door. He pushed it open and stood to the side, watching Skyfire very carefully. The shuttle ducked to enter the room, and then felt his shoulders sag.

Of course it was him.

The seeker's frightened optics flashed in recognition. Skyfire felt his faceplate turn grim as he walked over to Starscream and knelt beside him. "Are you… alright?" he said, noticing the split lip and the tear streaks on his faceplate.

Starscream's optics were wide now. "No," he whispered. "What the frag do you want?"

Skyfire sighed. "Did they tell you what they gave you?"

Starscream's optics closed. "N-no…"

"They used tacere-avem," Skyfire said. But as soon as Skyfire had named the drug, Starscream lost it.

"No, no, NO, NO-" he started to shout as he covered up his audios, as awkward as it was with cuffed wrists. Skyfire grimaced and then pulled the seeker into a crushing hug. The seeker should be thrashing, should be hitting him, but nothing happened. He was still yelling, but his cries were becoming quieter and more plaintive.

Eventually he pulled away and commed Ratchet. The medic was confused by the immediacy of the request from him of all mechs, but Skyfire just repeated the request saying that more details would be forthcoming. He bent down and scooped up Starscream, still so small in his arms even after all this time. The seeker did not resist, just stilled with listless optics.

Prowl and Jazz followed the shuttle and their prisoner, giving each other strange looks as they walked together to the med bay. When they arrived, Skyfire gently deposited Starscream on a berth. The seeker's optics watched him as they gradually became more unfocused and lost.

He turned on the enforcer and the spymaster. Ratchet had also appeared but was watching the proceedings warily.

"Where did you even find tacere-avem?" Skyfire started, his voice a deep rumble. Ratchet's optics immediately widened and then looked to the seeker and he deflated. He walked over to him and began pulling out medical equipment and scanners to do a full sweep.

Jazz folded his arms across his chassis. Prowl however flicked his optics to the various mechs around the room, calculating his next response. "We found reference to a pacification program in Teletraan-1 and we attempted to recreate the formula."

"Did you not," Skyfire began, squeezing his servo into a fist, "notice that it had been ruled illegal by every known authority since its conception?"

Jazz took a step towards Skyfire. "It had been declassified and used in clinical trials to help with PTSD," Jazz said angrily. "I tested it on myself before I was going to use it on anyone else. I was fine after a few cycles."

Skyfire turned his optics to the ceiling. "It was ruled illegal because of how it affects flightframes, Jazz. It's permanent."

Jazz looked like he had been stricken and took a step back. "What? No… it's not permanent. It wears off."

Prowl's face paled.

"It was initially developed as an option to quell unruly flightframes. It takes away all desire and capacity for violence. Permanently. It doesn't effect other frame-types the same way," he said, finishing quietly.

Prowl waited a few kliks. "None of that was in the report about it."

"No, I suppose not. It was likely scrubbed of that information when Vos fell."

Jazz looked despondent. "We honestly… didn't know."

"I'll be sure to pass that on to Unicron when I offline," Starscream ground out from the berth.

Skyfire turned and looked at him. "You're not going to offline-"

"What do you think is going to happen to me the second Megatron finds out not only did I get captured but now I'm broken?!" he said, his voice rising in crescendo to a shriek. "I am worthless now!"

"It can't be permanent," Jazz repeated, still in denial. "Processor reboot or even a rebuild could fix it."

"Ah, no," Ratchet said, shaking his helm. "This stuff is… nasty in how in integrates. His violent tendencies aren't suppressed, they are just… gone."

"Then we can put them back," Prowl said. "Like a battle computer?"

"You don't get it," Skyfire said, still barely suppressing his rage. "This is permanent. Plenty of smarter researchers before us have tried and failed to fix this."

Prowl looked like he was still calculating something. "Why have we never met a flightframe that was permanently pacified, then?"

Skyfire sighed. "They all died. They can't protect themselves, Prowl. They can't fight back under any circumstances. They were glorified slaves during the darker times of the Golden Age."

Starscream moaned pathetically. "You idiots have killed me! And not even on purpose." Jazz looked at the seeker with an expression between remorse and surprise. Prowl was looking at the floor, still trying to calculate.

Ratchet pulled back some of his scans with a tight look on his faceplate. He glanced sideways at the seeker who met his optics and saw the look. He crumpled further into his berth, now silent.

"I'll go… alert Prime," he said.

Optimus Prime sat at his desk staring at the datapads in front of him, describing the incident, and no less than 15 ways to deal with the situation from Prowl. There were also formal resignations from both Prowl and Jazz on his desk, both of which he knew had no intention of accepting, but at least it meant they understood the gravity of what had transpired.

Starscream sat across the desk from him and had not made a single sound since Ratchet and Skyfire had escorted him in and set him down. Skyfire was likely still keeping guard at the door.

Prime sighed. "A great injustice has been done to you," he said.

"Is that what we're calling this."

Prime shifted in his seat. Of all the mechs for this to happen to, Starscream was going to make it the most uncomfortable.

"I believe the next steps are deciding what you want to do. Your safety would be our top priority-"

"That's rich."

"-and if that means you would stay here, we could arrange that."

Starscream actually seemed shocked into silence for a moment. Then he sneered. "You would… 'keep' me here? What, like some kind of guilty conscience trophy? Forever to walk the halls moaning about the injustice of your officers?"

"I believe what has been done to you requires that we accept responsibility. What that looks like can be up to you."

Starscream pulled back at that, somewhat surprised. "… and all of your soldiers are okay with this?"

Optimus hesitated, and he knew Starscream had noticed. The seeker was shaking his helm, even as Optimus tried to answer the question. "The Autobots would honor-"

"You don't even believe it; how do you expect me to?"

The Prime sighed. "Then your other option is we return you to the Decepticons."

Starscream froze and his optics widened slightly. If fear could be a palpable, tangible thing, Starscream was grasping it and shoving it in the Prime's faceplate.

"They'll kill me," he said, quietly.

Prime was discomfited again. "They wouldn't-"

"Megatron will."

Optimus frowned beneath his faceplate. "Megatron would not kill one of his own wounded soldiers. Why would he have a medic if he did?"

Starscream smiled bitterly. "You know him so well, do you?" Starscream's face darkened. "He only allows repairs to mechs that are worth repairing, Prime. As in soldiers that can fight another day. What will I be except a berthwarmer or shareware?"

If Starscream wanted Prime unnerved, he had achieved it. "Starscream-"

"That's what this program was designed for anyway," he said, his voice tremulous. "I'm surprised that you haven't already brought it up for your own pleasure. Who wouldn't want a helpless seeker to share their berth?"

Optimus exvented. He realized that his comments were not only Starscream attempts to get under the Prime's plating, but also allowing his own anxieties being voiced. Starscream was terrified and apparently none of the options he had been presented instilled him with any measure of peace.

"What do you want then, Starscream?"

The seeker shivered. "I want my processor back."

"Would that I could give that to you," Optimus said sadly. "Ratchet tells me the program has run its course. It is permanent. You should know though that the program has been stricken from our records and the formation of it has been erased from Prowl's and Jazz's memories. They will also be facing disciplinary action."

"So they get a slap on the servo, and you take my entire life away. Fair trade, Prime. Thank you for that."

Optimus realized that the seeker wanted him to get angry. To what end, he wasn't sure yet.

"I have to tell Megatron about what has occurred. I would like to know what you want to do before I do that."

Starscream's wings were practically vibrating in fear. For the first time, he turned his optics away from the Prime's as if contemplating something. Then the seeker leaned forward in the chair, putting his elbows on his knees, calming himself.

"I would like to be returned to the Decepticons."

Prime was a little surprised. "Are you sure? I'm sure Skyfire would protect you if you stayed here-"

"Skyfire doesn't get a say in my well-being," Starscream said distantly. "I am certain."

Optimus nodded. "I will contact Megatron then."

"Sick of him already then," Megatron said on the communication screen.

Optimus sighed. "Is this line secure?"

Megatron's optic-ridges furrowed. "Unlike you Autobots, our lines are only monitored by Soundwave-"

"Fine, fine," Prime interrupted, much to the surprise of the Decepticon warlord.

Megatron looked amused then. "It seems you have something to say to me, Prime. Something you are reluctant to talk about."

Optimus fixed his blue optics on Megatron. "During our interrogation of Starscream, an accident occurred."

Megatron almost started laughing. "Wringing your servos over it like a nursemaid, Primus! Starscream is nothing but resilient, unfortunately-"

"This particular tactic was done without my knowledge or approval, but of course we accept full responsibility."

Megatron's mirth slowly evaporated. "Get to the point."

"He was dosed with tacere-avem. It's permanent."

Megatron at first didn't react. But then his faceplate started to fall into confusion, rage, confusion again, denial, and then it was carefully, neutrally blank. "You… pacified him."

"Yes."

Megatron frowned deeply. "This…" he started. "This is a fate worse than death. You would have been kinder if you had just killed him."

Optimus struggled with this next part. "We offered him refuge here, but he is requesting to be returned to you."

Megatron just stared, but then a small flicker of recognition came across his faceplate. "And you would just return him, with no trade?"

"I wouldn't ask anything of you, no."

Megatron looked forward and then nodded. "I would speak to him."

Optimus nodded, flicking his servo at the door to the communications relay where Ironhide escorted Starscream into the room.

Starscream wanly looked at the monitor, seeing Megatron's faceplate. Optimus nodded and vacated the seat, leaving the room with Ironhide.

"Fine mess you got yourself into," Megatron said exasperatedly. His optics were jumping as if searching for something in the seeker's sculpted face but saw nothing.

Starscream was tired. He flicked his optics down to the floor with his wings sagging. "Yes, and I just want out of it."

Megatron sighed. "That's why you want to come back? You want me to kill you?"

Starscream shivered. "Is there another option?"

Megatron glowered. "If that is what you want then don't be a coward, do it yourself-"

"I CAN'T," Starscream shouted, hoarse. "I literally… can't."

Megatron watched him through the monitor. Starscream likely made a pathetic sight. He'd been repaired after the battle as he was unconscious when they had dragged him back to the Ark, but he still had paint missing. He felt wretched. His helm and processor ached from the recent changes that had been made to his very core, and it likely showed on his faceplate. He also had lost something part of him; the fire, the feeling of being in control and unstoppable.

Megatron sighed. "I will give you two options, should you still decide to return to the Decepticon ranks. You are right to fear me, Starscream. I have no use for a soldier who cannot fight, any more than I can for a weapon that cannot shoot." Starscream shivered. "And despite your other possible assets, there would be no point as you cannot defend yourself and you hold too much knowledge. You are an ambling liability." Starscream bit back a whimper.

"I will allow you a choice. You can return to the Decepticons, but you must submit to a memory erasure. Completely. Your other choice is termination."

Starscream stared at Megatron's optics weighing his options. "I would be no better than a blank sparkling."

"Yes. But you would have no knowledge that would be worth torturing you for. Pacification also means you cannot prevent someone from accessing your mind or even your spark. It is the definition of vulnerable, Starscream. It will not be an easy existence, but you also would not know any differently."

Starscream frowned, confused. "You would… care for me? I mean. Primus, I don't know what I'm asking," he said pulling his servos over his face.

Megatron's face was inscrutable as ever. "There are few noble reasons for this war anymore, but one of them was slag like this. They don't get to take away a mech's ability to fight just because it doesn't suit them. You would be protected. You and I might have a tempestuous relationship, but you are also my soldier."

Starscream nodded, his face twisting as he felt his optics prick with hot tears. "That might be the closest you ever got to saying you liked me," he said laughing sadly.

"Don't let it go to your head," Megatron said, the ghost of a smile approaching the corner of his lips. "We will prepare for your retrieval."

"… affirmative."

The line cut out and Starscream stared at the dark screen. He would be alive, and he would be protected. He would just lose everything.

He had already lost everything.

End Notes: tacere-avem: Latin for quiet bird :( I feel like other languages have the word for where this story is going, but English is woefully without a word for the feeling: sad and happy at the same time? Bittersweet is kind of it, but not really.