Chapter 20
"Is everything ready?" Barbara asked blowing up the last of the balloons, watching as her husband went through the check list item by item ticking each thing off,
"Cake, presents, balloons, you told the guests 10am right?" He checked, Barbara nodded, indulging her husband, she knew that with this type of thing it was better to indulge him.
"Okay so 1000 guests arrive, meet and greet, 1030 pin the tail on the donkey, 1100 pass the parcel, 1130 pinata 1200 chow, 1230 cake, 1245 presents, 1300 departures" Daniel listened, reading from the itinerary,
"Sounds great" Barbara praised, not telling him that these were 5–8-year-olds and they weren't likely to stick to a schedule, not like the strict military men he was used to working with, she'd let her husband work that out for himself. Unsure on how Zona would react to a party they had invited only 10 children, Nick and Emily included then 8 from Zona's class. She finished tying the last balloon hanging it from the door frame placing the presents in a heap on the floor, this was their first party with the children, and they were excited.
With everything done they headed upstairs, noticing again Zona's bed was empty, with both kids curled up in Timmy's
"This will be awkward when they date" Barbara commented,
"Zona is never dating" Daniel returned easily, the thought of his 5-year-old sharing a bed with any male other than her brother or himself was horrific and not going to happen. Instead of an answer from his wife he just got an eyeroll, "Barb it's not happening, you'll support me right," he protested following her into their bedroom.
The next morning as normal Daniel was up first eating breakfast and double checking the list. Hearing movement at the kitchen door he waited as Zona walked in,
"Good morning, happy birthday Zona" he greeted, her face scrunched up confused and she hugged her unicorn tighter, "Today is the day you were born, and we celebrate that with presents and cake and your friends coming over" he explained,
"Mammy died when I was born" Zona told him solemnly, it was the only fact she knew about her birth as daddy had told her nearly every day, the day she was born was the worst day of his life, it was the day mammy died, because she had killed her. Daniel winced, they hadn't even thought about Zona's biological mom, or thought she'd associate the two events. Suddenly the party seemed like an ill-equipped idea, would Zona think they were celebrating her mother's dead?
"Let's get you breakfast shall we" Daniel suggested getting out the cereal leaving Zona to eat while he ran upstairs to wake Barbara, she'd know what to do she always did.
"Dan, its early," Barbara complained as he shook her awake
"I know, I told Zona it was her birthday and she remembered it's also the day her mom died"
Barbara sat up, all traces of sleep gone, "How could we forget that, and she remembers" she stood up following Daniel downstairs. Zona was sat at the table eating her cereal.
"Morning Zona" Barbara greeted stroking her hair, Zona with her bed head was adorable.
"Morning, today is my birthday, it's when Mammy died" Zona told her factually,
"I know sweetie," Barbara said kneeling next to her, "we were going to have a big party, with balloons, cake, and some people over, is that what you want?" she asked. Zona tilted her head to one side, not sure what a party was,
"Where do mommies go when they die?" She asked, "When do they come back?"
Barbara took a deep breath, sitting on the chair next to Zona. "Well, when people die, they go to heaven and become angels, they then watch over us, I know your mom is in the sky watching you now"
"All the time, even when I'm pooping?" Zona questioned staring at the ceiling accusingly, Daniel snorted,
"Well, I'm sure she looks away then" Barbara reassured her, Zona nodded eating her cereal, "So do you want a party?" she asked again, "We have cake?" She bribed,
"Cake" Zona cheered, "I like cake"
"Okay, then let's have a party" Barbara decided,
"Can we see the horses?" Zona asked Daniel, putting down her spoon breakfast finished.
"Sure, get dressed and out your skates on" He grinned as Barbara rolled her eyes, she hated the skates, but Daniel and Zona loved him
"Way to get out of the prep" she sighed, Daniel shrugged,
"Got to give the birthday girl what she wants" he said pulling on his running shoes. If it was a choice between running with Zona or cutting up tiny pieces of cheese and putting them on a stick with pineapple, he knew which would win. Zona bounced down the stairs dressed today's choice was a green top with blue trousers and an orange jacket. She put on her roller boots,
"Let's go sport" Daniel instructed holding Zona's hand as she got her balance on her boots, each day they followed the same routine and this was no different, Zona was getting faster on her boots, soon Daniel thought he'd be struggling to keep up with her. Arriving at the horses he began his jogs up and down the lane while Zona started conversing with the horses. Arriving home, the party prep was in full swing,
"Okay Zona let's do presents from us" Barbara instructed guiding her to a small pile of presents in the living room. She grabbed the camera taking a photo, happy to now get photos of the children without them covered in bruises. Timmy and Zona sat next to the presents confused,
"What do they do?" Zona asked staring at the wrapped packages confused, she'd never seen anything like this before.
"Well, you open them and inside are things people, in this case, Barbara and I, have brought you that we think you will like" Daniel explained, both Zona and Timmy appeared confused still. The concept of getting presents was strange,
"Open one" Barbara encouraged, passing Zona a present she knew she would love. Zona looked to Timmy for guidance, he shrugged, not remembering presents either, except for the one at the hospital but that had turned out to be a good thing. Zona carefully peeled away the paper, revealing 2 plastic horses, one that looked like Titan one that looked like Zeus. She began opening the rest, finding 2 barbie dolls, and new brightly coloured clothes.
"Why?" Zona asked still confused, why had they wrapped up toys in brightly coloured paper? Who were they for?
"Because we love you," Barbara told her,
"And you get toys every year just cus you were born?" Timmy asked
"And on Christmas" Daniel added, "That's when Jesus was born"
"And we don't have to do anything, we just get them" Timmy said still struggling to understand the concept. Living with Nurse B and the Captain was nice, food whenever you wanted, warm bed, clean clothes, a bath everyday, no longer did they go to school smelling, or hungry, help with homework, and now extra toys.
"Afterwards its polite to write a thank you letter to whomever got you the gift" Barbara told them, "But for now Zona, you can play with your new toys, until our guests come" She instructed,
Zona sat on the carpet with her new toys, Timmy next to her,
"We can do horse races" he suggested, Zona nodded grinning, she loved playing with her brother.
After an hour Daniel came in,
"Alright Zona can you put your new toys away, our guests will be here soon and we don't want them to get broken"
Without arguing Timmy and Zona quickly cleared the room, leaving Daniel standing there. From his friends' children he knew that it wasn't common for children to obey every order quickly and without complaint, in some ways he couldn't wait until they felt safe enough to argue with him, although he was sure he would quickly regret.
1045 the doorbell went Daniel smiled, since most of the children invited were from base he knew they'd all be here before 1100.
"Hello Simon, Nick and Emily," he greeted
"Hello Sir", "Hello Captain Dan" The family greeted, Zona and Timmy came down the stairs
"Hello Arizona, we hear today is a special day, do you know what today is?" Simon asked her, trying to get her excited, the little girl nodded,
"Today is the day mammy died" she said sadly, there was an awkward silence, that wasn't the reply they had expected.
"Zona's mom died when she was born" Daniel explained, wishing the ground would swallow him up,
"I see, we got you a birthday present" Simon said trying to cover the awkwardness,
"Thank you" Zona said taking the wrapped gift, standing puzzled,
"Go put it on the table" Daniel instructed. Zona did, "Okay now go play outside" he ordered watching the children obey.
"Today is the day her mom died?" Simon questioned raising an eyebrow, Daniel nodded sighing
"Yeah, we thought she wouldn't associate the two events, this party might end up being a disaster," Daniel reflected wondering if they should just call it off now.
"I'll help with damage control Sir" Simon offered, "Look they are all military kids, they're all going to be on best behaviour, their CO's kids party, their parents will have briefed them. Let's them be kids, we can sort out the rest later" he suggested. Daniel nodded, there wasn't a lot more they could do, the doorbell went again, he opened it guiding the guests to the back garden.
Most of the children invited had spent time there at the holidays so knew which way to go. Each bringing a present to put on the table.
"Right, everyone pin the tail on the donkey" Daniel ordered,
"Why does it not have a tail?" Zona asked confused,
"Well it fell off and we have to all try to fix it, but we do it blindfolded" Barbara explained, "Nick why don't you go first" she suggested, while normally with it being Zona's birthday she'd go first in this instance it was best someone who had played this game demonstrated, managing to stick the tail on the donkey's leg, Zona went next getting the tail on his head, Timmy was closer sticking it 3 inches off the donkey but near where it would be, one by one the children had a go, a little girl called Esme getting the closest winning a chocolate bar.
"Pass the parcel next" Daniel ordered, "Sit in a circle, when the music stops you open a layer" he started the music deliberately making sure it didn't stop on Arizona or Timmy for the first few rounds.
After Siobhan won pass the parcel, it was time for the pinata. They had chosen a rainbow one in the traditional shape.
"Okay so you hit it was hard as you can with the bat" Daniel explained
"Won't that hurt it?" Zona questioned solemnly, after all hitting was bad and it hurt
"Well, it's not a real horse, and it has candy inside, and the only way to get the candy out is to break it open" He tried staring at his wife for the assist.
"But hitting is wrong" Zona told him, she'd been hit a lot and knew it hurt. The captain and Nurse B had said hitting was wrong so to start hitting something now seemed wrong, especially when it was horse shaped.
"Maybe we skip the pinata" Barbara suggested, taking the bat off him, "Let's just do musical bumps instead, when the music stops you sit down"
The children nodded Barbara pressed play, the first round she didn't pick anyone out, then one by one the children went out, Zona was the second out, Timmy came 3rd overall, Nick won getting the prize.
"Chow time" Daniel ordered, directing the children over to the table where the spread was laid out. The children didn't need telling twice as they ran to the table,
"Zona, you sit here head of the table" Barbara directed. Zona bit her lip but sat at the top of the table, Timmy sitting one side Emily the other. "Right, everyone dig in" Barbara requested, purposefully adding things to Zona's plate to make sure she ate, doing the same for Timmy when he didn't put as much on his plate as she wanted him to eat.
Once the children had finished Barbara and Daniel met in the kitchen placing 6 candles in the cake. They left the kitchen Daniel holding the cake, Barbara the video camera,
"Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Arizona
Happy Birthday to you," the whole party sang.
"Now blow out the candles and make a wish" Barbara instructed, watching the little girl blow as hard as she could spittle going across the cake,
"I wish I hadn't killed mammy" Zona said loudly, an awkward silence fell across the party.
"Sweetie, you didn't" Barbara insisted passing the camera to the nearest adult walking to Zona lifting her up, hugging her tightly taking her away from the party into the house. She sat in the living room the little girl curled up on her lap. "Your mammy died when she gave birth to you, but it wasn't your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault, sometime bad things happen and its not nice but there isn't anyone to blame"
"But daddy said" Zona began,
"Your daddy was wrong, he was upset and when people get upset, they can put blame on things that don't deserve it, in this case this was you" Barbara explained,
"But daddy" Zona repeated, Barbara sighed cuddling her closely. All the work they had been doing with Edna was to try and undo 5 years of abuse.
"Daddy was wrong," Barbara insisted, Zona didn't answer not wanting to argue with an adult, even one as nice as Nurse B. "What do you want to do? Would you like to cuddle for a bit?" Barbara asked, Zona nodded, she felt safe with nurse B.
Outside Daniel was ending the party, it was clear that Zona was overwhelmed, luckily most of the parents had stayed so could just take their children home. Timmy gave out the party bags while he divided the cake for people to take with them.
"Thanks for a great party, the kids had a great time" Simon said, "She going to be okay?" he nodded towards the house. Daniel shrugged,
"They both will be, its just 5 years of damage, 5 years of abuse," Daniel sighed, "but we are getting there, Zona stopped sleeping the wardrobe, she sleeps in Timmy's bed but its progress. Timmy has started karate, his temper has been much better since the fight. I keep telling myself Rome wasn't built in a day but it's not easy. I love them so much so does Barb, and I worry, because I've been home for a few months now, but you know it won't' be long before we get deployed, what does Barb do then"
"She'll have the wives, they'll support her," Simon reassured, "Have you had any news when we might be deployed and where?" he asked. Daniel shook his head,
"We have a week training mission joint with the Squids in a month" He said, "I think we are gearing up for deployment," he confided, Simon nodded, they'd been in the states for 5 months so it was likely they'd be deployed somewhere soon.
"How is the adoption going?"
"Well, I think, I spoke to the social worker yesterday, we passed the home visit, so we are just waiting for a court date"
"I have a friend who is a judge, want me to pull that string?" Simon offered, Daniel nodded,
"I'd love that, I want to get the adopted secured before we ship out, in case we have a permanent relocation."
"Understood Sir, consider it pulled" Simon said. "Come on Nick and Emily, let's go home and eat cake" the last of the children left. Daniel and Timmy began tidying the outside, Daniel could tell Timmy was worried about Zona by the amount of time he spent looking inside. Luckily there wasn't a lot to tidy. The advantage of a party of military children was plenty of military parents who were willing to clean up as the party went along.
With everything squared away the duo headed inside,
"Everything okay?" Daniel asked quietly, his wife was sat on the sofa a sleeping Zona in her arms. Timmy went straight over sitting next to his sister, gently placing his hand on her arm, as if to reassure himself she was okay,
"Yeah" Barbara said as Zona began to wake,
"Hey precious girl, did you have a nice party?" Daniel asked, Zona nodded, "would you like cake?" Zona nodded again. Barbara gently placed her on the sofa, going into the kitchen with Daniel.
"We did this wrong," Barbara told him as they cut into the cake, "We need to honour their mother,"
They returned to the lounge with the cake letting both children enjoy it.
"When my mom died, I missed her a lot, and I use to go talk to her at her grave, have you ever been to your momma grave?" Barbara asked, both children shook their head no.
"I light a candle, my dad told me the smoke carries messages to heaven, we can try both ways of you talking to you mom, see if that helps" he suggested. Both children nodded, they wanted to try talking to their mom,
After they'd finished the cake Daniel got out candles and the matches allowing each of them to light a candle.
"Hey mom and dad, it's me Daniel, I'm with Barb and the kids I told you about. They are great, can you watch them for me, make sure they don't get into trouble cus I love them a lot. Thanks, I love you" he finished blowing out the candle watching the smoke drift out the open window. He gestured for the kids to have a go.
"Hey Mom, it's me, Timmy, I don't know if you remember me. I miss you lots, I don't remember much about you, but I remember you were warm, like Nurse B." Timmy finished looking uncertainly at Daniel wondering if that was okay.
"Good job" Daniel praised as Timmy blew the candle out.
"Hello Mammy, I'm Zona, daddy says I killed you, Nurse B says I didn't. I'm sorry you're dead, I love you, Nurse B says you are watching over me, please don't watch me poop" Zona said blowing out the candle.
"Do you want to see where she is buried?" Barbara asked the children.
"With the bugs?"
"Bugs?" Barbara questioned
"Daddy says the bugs eat mammy" Zona told them. Barbara and Daniel exchanged a look, they'd been to many graveyards and knew it wasn't like Zona was thinking.
"Why don't you draw a picture to leave with mammy?" Barbara suggested, "You can use your new crayons"
Zona nodded excitedly, her new crayons had glitter in them and had over 20 colours. "Timmy, you can use them to" she said, running to get the paper and her new crayons setting up the colouring station in the kitchen, Timmy joining her. In the living room Barbara and Daniel began trying to find out where the grave was located.
"How are you doing with your drawings?" Barbara asked after an hour.
"I'm nearly done" Timmy said, Barbara looked over his shoulder, she could make out his drawing the 4 of them at the zoo, with lions and an elephant.
"Me too" Zona pipped up not wanting to be left out. She held up her drawing, it had 4 figures all with blonde hair holding hands, with what Barbara guessed to be horses next to it. "Can you help with writing?" she asked, Barbara nodded
"What do you want to say?" she asked sitting down taking a pencil
"Mammy I love you Zona" Zona recited as Barbara did a faint tracing allowing Zona to copy over the letters.
"Right, get your shoes on, we should pick some flowers," Daniel suggested, watching both children scramble to obey. He picked up their drawings, helping them into the car driving to the florist.
"Pick your favourite flower" he suggested, Zona and Timmy looked around lost,
"I like this one, it's called a forget me knot, it tells people who have died that you remember them" Barbara said, pointing at the purple flowers, the siblings looked at each other nodding slightly,
"Yes please" Timmy replied, Barbara took a bundle handing several flowers to each of the children. They got in the car driving to the graveyard, once their Daniel lead the way following the map easily finding the grave.
Isabella Williams
3.12.50- 9.8.76
May she rest in peace
The children approached nervously. Daniel was pleased to see that the graveyard was well maintained with flowers planted around the edge. He waited with Barbara a few graves away allowing the children to have some privacy.
"Hello mom" Timmy said placing the flowers on the grave, "It's me Timmy, I brought you some flowers and a drawing, it's my new family and me, they are really nice, and they look after me and Zona, I miss you mom, bye"
Zona stepped up placing her flowers next to Timmy's with the drawing.
"Mammy, it's me, Zona, I brought you a drawing too, horses, Nurse B, the Captain, Timmy and me, this is you in heaven" Zona described the picture pointing at each bit, "Nurse B says I didn't kill you, daddy says I did, I miss you, Timmy says mommies are warm and give hugs, like Nurse B, I want her to be my new mommy. Please don't watch me poop. Bye" Zona said placing her picture on the grave before skipping over to Nurse B and the Captain. She missed her mammy lots and lots, but Nurse B and the Captain were nice and safe and warm.
Zona's first party, and i don't think it went the way they were expecting