Couple of things, to start.
Firstly: To those of you who are familiar with Kizumonogatari: this story will not be the same. Araragi and Issei are similar, but not so much that they'd handle everything the same. I'll be tackling this "version" of Kizu differently than in canon Monogatari. The characters aren't the same, the setting isn't the same, the story will not be the same. Just a warning, so when you see snippets of backstory that don't line up quite right, you don't immediately take to the reviews to call me a dipshit.
Second: What in the world are you doing with X character? So- my writing is focused on characters. I like to make my characters do things as realistically as possible, and that includes this crossover. Kiss-Shot will not act exactly the same as she does in Monogatari, because the setting is not quite the same. I'll use Issei's death as an example: in canon Monogatari, (SPOILERS:) in a different timeline when Araragi dies, Kiss-Shot literally destroys the world. Later, in the canon timeline, Araragi is "killed" and Kiss-Shot is VERY close to eviscerating the murderer before he's revived. His death effects her on a fundamental level, and I'm not going to pretend in this story that Issei's death had no weight on her. Anyway, that's all I'll say about that.
So, I'll get out of the way for now. I kinda forgot where I was going with all this, to be completely honest. Yeah, anyway- read and review.
During spring break, several weeks ago
Issei Hyoudou was walking around town, like any other day. It was at this point in the afternoon that he found himself on top of a bridge, and opposite him was a tomboyish girl with shoulder-length blue hair, wearing her school uniform and holding her bookbag in a rather cool way behind the back of her head with both hands.
Of course, both hands being behind her head meant that they weren't able to do anything else with any amount of quickness.
So when a quite abnormal gale-force wind struck from the front, she was utterly unprepared to stop her skirt from being flipped up.
Everything became completely visible.
It was by no means something flashy- however it was such elegant underwear that the eye captivated by it wasn't allowed to turn away.
It was a dark mesmerizing black.
It wasn't suggestive at all, and the area covered was actually quite large. It was the full coverage kind with thick fabric- absolutely nothing lewd, and in that regard one could say in a normal situation it would lack any kind of sexiness.
However, Issei could feel the dazzling radiance of that extreme darkness.
And to him, it was not plain at all.
While a normal man might only see black panties, a complex design made with black thread over a black background was embroidered in the center part of it- and Issei's trained eye could see a flower pattern. That pattern, symmetric on the left and right sides, exquisitely made up the balance of the whole underwear, and the central top part of the embroidery was decorated with a small ribbon.
Furthermore, right above that small ribbon, her abdomen and belly button were visible. The skirt was so boldly flipped up that even such parts became unbecomingly exposed. He could even see the blouse's hem clearly showing tucked inside the skirt. Issei, even in his infinite perversity, never thought the hem of a blouse could be so amazing until now.
And best of all, it was just beautiful that only the front part of a skirt was flipped up.
The pure dark of the underwear, and, as if boasting a competition with that, her thighs, were emphasized by the contrast with the light maroon of the skirt in the background, and stood out.
The skirt in this situation was like a curtain that highlighted an elegant work of art.
Considering her pose with her hands wrapped behind her head, it seemed as if she were boasting her underwear to him.
Truth be told, he didn't really know how to outwardly react. His brain had gone into overdrive, searing every single atom of what he'd seen into his mind so he could replay it later in HD. All that mental effort left him with nothing left to actually navigate the situation.
"I-I didn't see anything…"
Issei, having been quite used to being beaten up for looking at panties, defaulted to a common tactic- coming to his own defense.
Of course, it would've been a better tactic if he wasn't still looking at the panties while he said it, but how could he know that?
"Oh? You didn't see anything, huh?"
It was a pretty obvious lie from the start.
From about ten steps away, the girl hopped up to Issei with her feet together like she was jumping with a knee pad. She came to a distance of about three steps away before stopping...
Quite the close distance.
She looked him in the eyes without a trace of bashfulness, sporting an impish grin on her own face like the current situation was the most hilarious thing in the world.
"I guess the one day I don't wear spats is the same day Issei Hyoudou gets a panty-shot on me, huh?"
"I didn't see anything- wait, you know me?"
"What, are you kidding? They give all the girls a PSA to stay away from you at the start of every year."
"Hey, that's just cruel!"
"Is it wrong? Look at the situation," she said with a smirk.
"I-! Yeah, that's fair…"
Issei Hyoudou took a renewed look at the girl, now that she was pretty close to him. He recognized her pretty easily- she was Kuoh's resident "weird girl" Tsubasa Yura, somebody who claimed to see (and fight!) ghosts. She was pretty normal otherwise, but she acted as if the supernatural were perfectly natural, and that made her a standout.
Plus, blue hair.
Now that he thought about it, what in the world was with Kuoh's lax hair color rules? Could he dye his hair green or something, since it seemed like his class already had a rainbow assortment already?
"You're Tsubasa, right? Tsubasa Yura. The girl who beats up ghosts."
Tsubasa made a strong-arm pose, accepting the title with grace.
"That's me. So what's got you walking around town so late, Hyoudou?"
It was pretty late to be walking around town, after all. The Sun was setting, and the golden rays cast all around set a lovely glow upon the city.
"Just bored, I guess." Issei hadn't really expected to strike up a conversation with the girl after such a spectacular event. Normally, he'd be getting the stuffing beat out of him. "Did that PSA mention that talking to me is gonna lower your reputation, by the way?"
Gentleman that he was, he glanced around, worried that someone might see her talking to him.
And just a little worried one of the Kendo Club girls had seen him oogle her.
"Oh, don't worry, it's already low. And I'm pretty sure I've earned the right to talk to you, after your eyes just took me to second base. Am I wrong, or was that description of my panties about three hundred words?"
She nailed it!
"...I didn't see anything."
She ignored his plea and kept talking.
"You know what I think? I think it was Murphy's Law at work just now. I guess I was asking for it, like, since I wrapped my hands around my back my skirt flies up in the front- normally you'd be cautious about the back, but surprisingly the front is a blind spot."
Tsubasa mused out loud, her right hand on her chin while her left held her bookbag against her waist.
"Yeah...I guess."
This was surprisingly awkward.
Plus, Issei didn't really know what Murphy's Law was.
"Well, anyway, the sun was in my eyes, so I didn't really see anything…"
"I'm really not that worried about it. Just accept your panty-shot with pride, and I'll pridefully accept the fact that you're going to spank it to me later."
Just how blunt could this girl be?!
Issei coughed, not expecting such a comment at all. Tsubasa laughed, sensing his discomfort.
"Well, anyway," he said again upon recovering, "I'm gonna get going."
"Not so fast, perv."
Uh oh.
Here it came.
This was the punishment for laying his eyes on such divine providence!
He'd done his best to contain his absolute euphoria at what he'd seen, but somehow she'd seen right through him and was gonna kick his ass anyway.
"Y-yeah?"
Issei stammered, instinctively backing up a pace.
"Whoa, don't get so freaked out. I was just gonna ask, where are you headed? There's a dangerous customer in town right now, so it's not really safe to wander around all over the place."
"Dangerous customer? You don't mean a ghost, do you…"
Issei deadpanned, wondering if she was really as odd as rumors say. Even as hot as she was, if she was just straight up weird, it would be a big turn-off.
A pretty huge turn off really, even with those toned abs and thighs, the kind you only got from years of martial arts-
"Don't start describing my thighs while I'm trying to talk to you."
Tsubasa snapped her fingers in his face, getting his attention again.
"Uh, I dunno, just the library, I guess? Maybe the bookstore. I didn't really have a plan…"
"Really? You are just meandering around town, then. Not going to hang out with friends or anything like that, huh?"
"None of your business."
He turned up his nose in an exaggerated way.
"So you don't have any friends, then."
"Hey!"
"Haha, I'm kidding. Don't worry, they warned us about the other two pervs."
Tsubasa laughed again, at his expense.
"Jeez…"
Despite the verbal abuse, Issei couldn't help but grin. As weird and blunt as she was, she wasn't really rude, and she was pretty cute.
And her thighs-
"Stop it!"
"Sorry, sorry."
There was a companionable silence, and then Issei's mind clicked back to what she'd said.
"Wait, so who's the dangerous customer you're talking about?"
"Are you sure you wanna know? After all, this is coming from ghost girl~"
Tsubasa tilted her head, waiting for him to apologize.
Issei was about to say something along the lines of "you're right, it's probably nonsense, nevermind" but before he even could she cracked and told him anyway.
"Alright, alright, you convinced me. It's a vampire," she said, an excited gleam in her eyes.
Issei didn't say anything, he just deadpanned.
"I'm serious!"
"Right...so you're one of those twilight fangirls, huh…"
"Twilight is better than people think it is!"
Issei immediately began to walk away.
Even perverts have something of a reputation to keep.
"Hey, wait. Okay, okay, no more jokes."
With that abnormally somber tone, Issei turned back around. Tsubasa's (oddly handsome) face was completely serious.
"A vampire. In Kuoh Town?"
"That's right. They say she's as beautiful as a goddess, with golden hair and eyes that'll stop your heart cold. No corpses have turned up yet, but it's only a matter of time."
"You really believe this stuff, huh?"
She was so serious that Issei almost felt compelled to play along.
"It's- ugh."
She just groaned and rolled her eyes, a little annoyed.
Tsubasa Yura, at this point in her life, had been met with so many people who say "you're crazy" or "you really believe that?" or "stop playing pretend" that she didn't even care anymore.
She didn't "believe" anything.
She knew what she knew.
And she knew that not only was the supernatural real, it was often deadly.
And she knew that rumors were often based in some iota of fact, no matter how ridiculous.
Putting those things together- she knew there was a non-zero chance a vampire was in Kuoh.
People could legitimately die.
And here she was, trying to help this random pervert not have an agonizing death, and he was calling her nuts too.
"Okay, look, you don't have to believe me. But...can I have your phone for a second?"
"Uh, sure, I guess."
Issei was thrown off enough by the sudden subject change that he didn't even object, he just handed her his phone.
She fiddled with his phone for a moment, with typing speed befitting a girl of her age, then handed it back to him.
"What'd you do?" Issei asked, but he answered his own question with one glimpse at the screen.
[New Contact]
[Tsubasa Yura]
[xxx-xxx-xxxx]
[Save this contact?]
[Y/N]
With a look of mild confusion on his face, Issei pressed yes.
"If you run into anything weird, just text me."
"But-"
"No buts," Tsubasa interrupted him with a hand in front of his face. "Let's call it the price of looking brazenly at my panties and not getting beat up."
Now that got Issei's unbridled attention.
"Yes ma'am!"
"Now quick, let's rehearse."
"Rehearse?"
"Yeah, I'll give you a scenario and you tell me what you'd do."
"Uh…"
Issei was only a little weirded out.
"Great! First scenario: You're walking around alone at night like some kind of creeper-"
"-hey-"
"-when you spot a vampire. What do you do?"
"Well...you said she's super hot, right? I see if she's cute."
Tsubasa made a sound like an error buzzer on a game show. "Wrong."
"Wrong like she's not hot, or wrong like-"
"Wrong like both. Try again. Assume she's not hot."
"But earlier you said-"
"Just do it!"
"Fine, fine! I, uh…"
Issei really tried to put himself in a position where he came upon a vampire. He didn't know what he'd do. Especially if she was hot.
"I dunno."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"That's what I mean! How should I know what would happen if I just bumped into a vampire? 'Oh hey, good evening to you! Your breath smells like a blood bank. Have a nice night!'"
Exasperated, Issei acted out what would happen if he literally bumped into a vampire, simultaneously annoying and amusing Tsubasa. She sighed, not really sure what to do with him. She normally didn't talk to random people, even her schoolmates, but she was having a bit of fun with this one for some reason.
"You know, that just might confuse them enough for you to get away safely. Well, I think you're sufficiently prepared- if you do find the vampire, run away, then text me. And in that order!"
Tsubasa pointed at him like she was accusing him of something he hadn't even done yet.
"Okay, okay, geez. Hey, why are you telling me this anyway? Are you just telling every random stranger you meet about the vampire or what?"
Tsubasa couldn't really come up with a solid rationale as to why she'd spent the last several minutes trying to 'protect' Issei. She'd only just met him, but he gave off a vibe like somehow she'd find him at the center of whatever problem Kuoh currently found itself in. She could tell he wasn't part of the supernatural, and she was only a rookie ghost-buster herself, but something about him made alarm bells trip in her head.
"Of course not. But going off of what just happened, I'm one-hundred percent confident that if you did meet this supposed beautiful vampire, you'd try to cop a feel instead of running away."
"..."
"At least try to defend yourself."
"I won't compromise in the face of adversity! That's what it means to be a hero!"
"Don't proclaim such a heroic line while you talk about a literal crime!"
Issei pumped his fist in the air, striking a pose that had no right to look as cool as it did.
Tsubasa sighed yet again, but this time with a smile.
This kid was seriously something else.
How was it that he was so unpopular?
Oh, right. The perversion.
She nearly forgot.
"Okay, well, it's been fun chatting with you. I'm gonna go to the gym, and I'd offer for you to come with me, but I feel like I already know the answer."
Issei physically cringed at the thought of going to work out with what looked like a martial arts maniac.
"Yeah, I'll pass…"
"Figured. Anyway, don't stay out longer than you have to tonight. And if by some miracle you do run into a vampire, please don't do anything stupid."
"Yeah, yeah."
Issei rubbed the back of his head, looking off into the sunset. His thoughts were a mix of "there's no vampire in Kuoh" and "I'm not as dumb as you think".
"Hey, perv?"
Issei turned back around to see Tsubasa with a smug grin.
"You may not have had any friends before, but you do now!"
With that, she ran off.
Literally ran, at what had to be a record breaking speed.
"But I do have friends…"
Issei mumbled moodily to himself, but was quickly taken off the subject as his memory flashed back to the money shot from a few minutes before.
He had a shit-eating grin plastered over his face as he replayed the moment over and over again in his head, walking to nowhere in particular.
Present day
Being a vampire…
...was kind of kickass.
Issei walked along as happy as could be, enjoying the night air to it's absolute fullest. The full moon shone down on his back, and there was nary a cloud in sight to block it's rays. He found himself in a part of the park that looked vaguely familiar, but he wasn't really thinking about it enough to place where he knew it from.
[Thou art enjoying thyself?]
"Duh. It's such a pretty night."
[Aye, yet...I must admit, I'm a little shocked thou art so carefree. Have thee no qualms about living as a devil? 'Tis not something you can change.]
"Well, Rias said devils don't have to eat people, so I'd say it's a step up. And we have a while before we get hungry, so I thought I'd just enjoy being a vampire again for a bit."
Issei, sensing her thoughts, was quick to assure her he wasn't torn up over being a vampire again.
Just like the first time, he wouldn't be angry about it at all-
-until he felt the urge to eat.
Last time that had happened, it hadn't ended so well, and he'd only barely been able to regain his humanity.
[...]
Shinobu was silent.
"So I guess we just stay like this a couple days and then go back to how we were?"
[Aye...I suppose that could be best.]
She hesitated slightly, seemingly having other thoughts.
'How we were' had gotten her other half killed, after all.
Would it really be so bad to stay as at least a half-vampire?
For a matter of survival, if nothing else?
She was broken out of her musings by Issei continuing to chat.
"I wonder what Rias will say? Since devils are supposed to be strong…"
After their little meeting, the other members of Rias' peerage had left, and the two spent a large portion of what normally would've been a school day teaching him about various aspects of the devil world, including his new position as her Pawn.
[About that, I may have an-]
Issei and the woman in his shadow both stopped abruptly as they felt something odd. He looked up to see a purple radiance spreading downward over the area in a dome-shape, sealing them within.
"What the hell?"
[A barrier. Be on thy guard.]
"Well, this really is unfortunate..."
A low, gravelly voice announced itself from behind Issei, walking in from a dark treeline. The vampire was easily able to make out the smallest details of the person even in complete darkness- it seemed to be a middle-aged man with short black hair and dark blue eyes, wearing a pale grey trench coat and a lame fedora.
Even from a substantial distance he smelled like cigarette smoke and musty old buildings, and Issei struggled not to gag.
"...You running into me, that is."
[Hoh? This one isn't even on the paltry level of the last one. Do as ye will- at our full power, his light will cause ye no harm, through the heart or otherwise.]
It will hurt though, she added with a grim laugh.
However aloof her words sounded, Issei detected a sharp hint of worry through their bond, like she was a little afraid he'd go and get himself killed again.
"Another fallen angel?"
[Likely.]
Issei asked under his breath. The man was approaching slowly, giving Issei plenty of time to look him over. This one also had his wings hidden- a sign of deception, according to Shinobu.
They did this to appear more human, according to the vampire who had elf-ears for some reason.
"Like Yuuma…"
[And probably as murderous.]
Coming back to the situation at hand, Issei finally spoke up.
"Nice to meet you too, I guess?"
"Indeed. My name is Dohnaseek."
The man tipped his hat, but he didn't sound very friendly. His angry eyes betrayed his true feelings, and, weak or not, Issei was suddenly wary.
"I'm Issei. What do you want with me?"
"Do you know where you are?"
His question ignored, Issei felt a little stifled.
"Uh...the park?"
For every step Dohnaseek took forwards, Issei took one backwards, not really wanting to get into a huge fight. He would if he needed to, but it would make a mess.
"Really? You don't even recognize the spot you murdered Raynare?"
The fallen's voice took on an angry tone as he accused Issei.
As the boy caught up with what he exactly he'd been accused of, he realized this fallen had the wrong idea.
It made him a little mad.
"Murdered Raynare-? You mean the same Raynare who asked me out on a date, and then just when I was getting to like her, she killed me?! That Raynare?!"
Issei yelled in response, and could feel his normally nonchalant partner becoming angry too.
"You were just human trash! You weren't even worth the sacred gear she killed you over!"
A fight it would be, then.
Just like that, with no further conversation, the fallen released his wings, shooting forward with all the speed he could muster.
"Huh? Sacred Gear? What the hell is that?"
[I haven't the faintest notion.]
The two vampires leisurely conversed in the span of time it took for the adversary to draw near- they were operating on a level much higher than him, even mentally, and so it was trivial to talk that much in such a "short" time.
"I will have my revenge!" Dohnaseek roared out as he finally drew close, then reared back his right hand and plunged forward with a spear of blue light.
Issei effortlessly dodged just as it moved to hit him in the chest, leaving Dohnaseek looking around frantically. He hadn't even seen the boy move, and had now lost sight of where he was.
"Over here!"
Dohnaseek turned to his right just in time to catch a haymaker to the face.
He was sent flying backwards, crashing through into a pretty sizable tree with an audible snap. Issei wasn't sure if the sound had come from his back or the tree, and didn't really care. His dorky hat was knocked some feet away by the force.
The fallen angel lay moaning on the ground as he cupped his hands around his shattered nose. Blood dripped from his face, and it was clear to see he was no longer fighting.
Just like that, it was over.
"H-h-how…? What are you…?!"
Dohnaseek, his earlier cocky attitude gone without a trace, had the fear of God in his eyes as Issei approached.
"I'm a vampire, dipshit. You couldn't tell?"
Issei flashed his fangs and opened his eyes a little wider, giving Dohnaseek a clear view of the goods.
"Oh...oh God."
Dohnaseek fell rolled over onto his side, groveling with his hands out towards Issei in a feeble gesture meant to keep him away.
"Don't eat me!"
He put up an absolutely pathetic display of pleading for his life, making Issei cringe.
"What...dude, seriously? You talk all this game and then can't handle even a single punch? That's so lame, man…"
He was embarrassed on the fallen angel's behalf.
If you didn't really know who you were fighting, should you really talk so much shit?
Probably not.
But, in Dohnaseek's defense, a vampire was nigh undetectable to the untrained eye. They didn't radiate power like dragons or certain other supernatural races, and if one wasn't searching intently they might completely miss the obvious signs of one's vampirism-
-that is to say, slightly pale skin, elongated teeth, red eyes, no shadow(not in Issei's case!), no reflection- all the normal stuff. Other than those things- they were human, for all intents and purposes.
Of course, in Issei's case, he wasn't human anymore- he was a devil, which is why Dohnaseek had engaged him in the first place.
"I'm not gonna eat you, so can you quit freaking out? Geez..."
Issei retrieved the man's fallen hat and tossed it down to him, prompting the fallen to look up at him with surprise.
"I'm not gonna eat you," Issei reiterated, "but uh…why'd you try to kill me? Kind of a dick move."
"You killed Raynare! You're a stray devil!"
"One, no I didn't, two, I probably should've, and three- a stray? Uh, not really. Or at least, I don't think so?"
"I can assure you he's not."
Both Issei and Dohnaseek turned to see the glow of a red magic sigil some feet away, with Rias Gremory at the center.
"Prez? Oh, hey. This guy tried to kill me."
Issei pointed sheepishly towards the pile of fallen angel quaking at the foot of a tree.
Rias was still wearing her school uniform, but somehow she made it look as hot as a supermodel.
"I saw. You handled yourself quite well, I'm impressed."
Rias pat his head as she complimented him, lightly ruffling his hair.
Issei blushed and immediately sported a dopey grin, drawing a small amount of ire from his shadow.
"And as for you," Rias came close, standing menacingly over Dohnaseek, "my servant has chosen to show you mercy, but the next time you cause trouble for the Gremory House we won't be so lenient. Take care who you pick fights with in the future."
Her entire peerage suddenly assembled behind her, leaving Issei wondering where they'd come from. He hadn't heard anything or seen anything- but then again, he'd also missed Rias' giant red teleportation circle, so that wasn't saying a whole lot.
"I...graciously accept your generosity."
With those parting words, Dohnaseek collected himself, buried any thoughts he'd had about revenge, and took to the sky. The purple barrier he'd put up vanished along with him, shattering like glass and falling down as glittering motes.
After he'd left, the peerage turned their full attention to Issei. They all seemed kind of surprised, not having expected that kind of strength from their newest family member.
"You're really strong, huh Issei?" Akeno asked with a giggle, an odd glint in her eyes.
"I didn't even see you move when you dodged his attack, that was incredible!" Kiba had a bit of a bewildered look on his face, but his smile was genuine.
"You reek of blood," Koneko offered with her normal deadpan, "but that was a pretty good punch."
"Haha…thanks, guys..." Issei just stammered, not really knowing what to do with all the praise; especially when it was coming from three people he barely knew, not to mention three of Kuoh's idols.
[If thy head swells any more, it shall likely pop.]
"Is Miss Shinobu with you?" Rias asked, kind of surprised Issei was by himself given how clingy the elder vampire was before. She hadn't let Issei out of her sight the entire time Rias had talked to him, which had been the better portion of the school day.
"Yeah," Issei pointed towards his shadow, "she's right here. Normally I wouldn't have a shadow, but this is how we get around without drawing a ton of attention."
"I see. Well I was worried you may be in danger, but I see that's not the case," Rias shrugged, looking pleased with how everything turned out. "Why don't we all go ahead and go home, now? It'll be a busy day tomorrow."
Everyone started to get ready to leave, but Issei interrupted them.
"Uh, actually, can I ask you something?"
Rias turned back around, smiling.
"Of course Issei, what is it?"
"What's a sacred gear?"
Rias looked surprised. She hadn't mentioned anything about that in her talk with Issei, and he obviously didn't have one- so where'd he hear the term?
"It's an artifact of power bestowed on special humans. A sacred gear can be anything from an extra hand or a God-killing spear- but where did you hear about them? I don't think I said anything…"
"That fallen dude said something about me having one, and that's why Raynare had to kill me. Shinobu doesn't know anything either, and I'm pretty sure I don't have anything like that…"
"Is that right? I see..."
Rias immediately began to think. If Issei had a sacred gear in addition to being a full-blooded vampire, he could very certainly be the most powerful person on her team- beating even the other sacred gear wielding vampire.
"Well, it's possible the fallen simply mistook your relationship with Miss Shinobu for the signs of a sacred gear. But, since you were born human, it's definitely inside the realm of possibility. We'll talk more about it tomorrow, ok?"
"Uh...sure."
Issei was still a bit bashful- his time with Kiss-Shot had certainly helped him get better at talking to beautiful women, but it was still something he struggled with.
Especially when the woman in question was Rias Freakin' Gremory!
Issei sported the dopiest of dopey grins.
"Are you going to be out for a while?"
Breaking out of his definitely-not-perverted fantasies, Issei was a little unprepared for that particular question.
"I'm not sure. I just like the night time, so I was walking around for a bit. This kinda put a damper on things, though…"
"Haha, I bet. Well, if you are going to be roaming the streets for a while, please do be careful. Even though you're my servant, it's easy to mistake you for a stray devil, as you've just seen. And, also- please try to keep your feeding to a minimum. The last thing we need is vampire slayers getting called to this town to kill you."
He didn't really even know how to start responding to that.
A: There were already vampire slayers in this town that he'd had to get rid of.
B: He wasn't going to feed at all.
C: Was she really going to be so casual about him having to eat people?
...not that he would.
"Uh, I wouldn't worry about that. I don't really feed, since I'd have to kill someone."
"...Kill someone?"
Rias was obviously surprised by that.
"Huh? Yeah, you didn't know? Isn't there another vampire in our group?"
Rias hadn't really told him about the other vampire, but Shinobu could smell it and Issei connected the dots.
"Well, yes, but he doesn't have to kill anyone to feed. He just needs blood bags every now and then."
[Kaka!]
From within his shadow, Shinobu burst into laughter at the thought.
[Were it so easy, anyone could be a vampire. He must be a halfling, like the boy who took one of my legs.]
Episode, a half-human half-vampire vampire hunter.
Quite the character.
"So...he's not a full vampire?" Issei guessed out loud, since Shinobu was obviously the resident expert on vampirism.
"That's right, he's a dhampir."
[Halfling. Daywalker halfling. Some of our strengths, some of our weaknesses. Kaka, I would quite like to meet this 'dhampir'.]
Shinobu laughed, and Issei got the vibe she might just bully him.
"Yeah, uh, our diets are a little different. Let's just say I won't be "feeding" at all, and I'll explain everything tomorrow or...whatever."
Issei sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, not really wanting to go more into detail. He didn't know how the group would react to learning he needed to eat a human whole if he wanted to feed.
Rias smiled again.
"Works for me. Be safe," she said, and they were gone.
It was a little odd, how quickly the park had went from several people to empty again. Issei simply resumed his aimless walking around, ecstatic about how he was now going to be friends with Rias Gremory, Akeno Himejina, and Koneko Tojou.
And Kiba, he supposed.
Begrudgingly.
The next morning
"It's so hot~…"
The morning sun bore down on Issei like a monster, but he wasn't aflame.
Or at least, he wasn't literally on fire.
He certainly felt like it.
['Twas thy own idea. I accept no responsibility.]
Out of more curiosity than anything, Issei had suggested that he and Shinobu try to test their maximum level of tolerance for the sun. He'd lowered their vampirism to a level just low enough to allow them to walk under its rays, but it was by no means pleasant.
He'd done so because he was walking to school again, because according to Rias even vampirism was no excuse for poor grades.
You represent the Gremory house now, she'd said. Do your best!
Shinobu, of course, had objected at first, saying something along the lines of "I can just walk you again" and obviously Issei had been a tad bit opposed to that.
He was already going to have to explain himself to Matsuda and Motohama for showing up to school with what looked like a foreign supermodel the day before, and he didn't really feel like being the object of everyone's attention again.
So, Shinobu, in the form of a teen Issei's age, was hidden once more in his shadow while he walked.
Out quite a distance in front of him, Issei could see a familiar silhouette. Narrowing his red eyes, he used his vampiric abilities to "zoom" in it.
Surely enough, it was Akeno Himejima.
As if noticing that she was being watched, Akeno turned around to face him, then upon realizing who it was, offered a wave.
Issei waved back, still a little awestruck.
Akeno stopped where she was, seemingly waiting for Issei to catch up. After a moment of speedwalking, he had.
"Good morning, Issei!"
"Ah...good morning, I guess."
"You guess? Something wrong?"
Akeno looked genuinely concerned, like an older sister might.
"Well, not really. It's just uh...hot."
Issei looked like he was laboring to even breathe properly under the harsh light, and it made Akeno feel a little bad. She'd forgotten he was a vampire unlike the one she knew, who was entirely unhindered by the sun.
"Would it help if I made it cloudy?"
"If you...made it cloudy? What?"
"Ufufu, welcome to the world of magic, Issei."
Akeno glanced around to make sure no one was watching, then tucked her chin and recited some words Issei couldn't really understand. She lifted her eyes to the clouds and raised her arms skyward, and within several moments the sunlight was blocked by several gray clouds.
"Woah, that's so cool!"
Issei was beyond impressed, and it had most certainly made being outside in the daytime infinitely more tolerable for him.
The last time he'd seen true "magic" had been when a certain vampiress had thrown a fireball at him, so it wasn't something he had a lot of exposure to.
"I can teach you some basic magic, if you like."
"Seriously? That'd be awesome!"
He practically had stars in his eyes.
"Ufufu, I'm glad you think so. I'm happy you're in the club, Issei. You seem fun."
"You think so? Thanks…"
"For sure. And I don't know if you're nervous or anything, but you don't need to be. We're all super nice."
That made him a bit more nervous.
They walked in silence for a bit, which made Issei a little on-edge. He knew he could be a little awkward, and he hoped he wasn't making her uncomfortable.
Also, she was stupid hot and he was absolutely stunned that she was walking to school with him.
And she smelled so good! Lavender incense, like she'd been at a shrine, and vanilla, like she'd just baked something fresh- it was intoxicating.
[Thou art truly miserable.]
Shinobu was just mad because she smelled like blood and violence.
And shampoo.
Hair down to her ankles, you know?
"So what all did you and Rias talk about? She had you in there for a while," Akeno asked.
"She was telling me all about devils and rate games and evil pieces and stuff like that."
"Rating games?"
"Yeah, that's the one. She also talked about the angels and fallen angels."
"You must not like fallen angels very much, huh? Given what's happened in the last few days."
Akeno looked a little crestfallen, but recovered fast enough that Issei didn't notice.
"Well, they definitely aren't my favorite at the moment, but Shinobu is the one who's really pissed. It took three donuts to keep her from finding their hideout and eating everyone inside."
"Is she with you?"
"Yeah. Otherwise I wouldn't have a shadow, remember?"
"Oh, that's right. I keep forgetting you're a real vampire, sorry~"
"No worries, you're hot- I mean fine! I mean...no worries."
Akeno giggled, which was music to Issei's ears.
[Very smooth. Thy harem will be falling over thee in no time at all.]
"You shut it!"
Issei stomped on his shadow, prompting a snicker from Shinobu.
"Is she talking to you?"
"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah."
"Wow. She's pretty old, right? It must be really cool to talk to someone who's seen so much."
"Well, it would be, if she could remember even what day it is."
[Curse thy name! 'Tis Friday!]
"It's Wednesday."
[Bah!]
Shinobu fell silent.
"But yeah, it is pretty cool. She's really smart, most of the time."
Akeno giggled. "How long have you guys been a couple?"
"A c-couple?!"
"Hm? Are you not? I just assumed, seeing how close you guys were."
"No, we aren't a couple," Issei said with a strange amount of conviction. "We're just...close."
"Oh, I see. So what you're saying is, you're available?"
"Bwuh-huh?"
Issei's brain short circuited as Akeno cutely tilted her head, a seemingly innocent smile on her face.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. For now, anyway. You are kinda cute."
If Issei blushed any harder, he'd look like a tomato.
"R-really? Gee, thanks…"
"Hey, you guys!"
Issei and Akeno turned to see Kiba approaching from the side, and a grimace was immediately plastered on Issei's face.
"Oh yay, it's prince golden nuts," Issei mumbled to himself.
"Good morning, Kiba," Akeno said, waving.
"Good morning," Kiba waved back. "How are you feeling, Issei?"
"How am I feeling? Alright, I guess. Why?"
Kiba started walking alongside them, to the right of Issei, who himself was to the right of Akeno.
"Well, you did get attacked last night. Just wondering if you're still all good?"
He spoke with such sincerity that it almost made Issei feel bad for disliking him.
"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks."
Issei was a little peeved that his 'alone time' with Akeno had been interrupted, but he didn't really show it.
Much.
[Thou art suddenly quite the socialite.]
'I know, right?" Issei asked mentally, "it's kind of weird.'
The three of them talked about random stuff until they arrived at school, upon which Issei was immediately the subject of every single male and female present.
"Are you kidding me?"
"First he comes with some hot model, and now he's with Kiba-cakes and Lady Akeno?"
"Is he supposed to be cool now?!"
"That bastard!
"Geez…"
"Something wrong?" Akeno asked, sensing his discomfort.
"You guys can't hear all that gossip?"
"Oh, yeah. You get used to it after a while. I promise," Kiba assured him.
They reached the entrance to the school building, and both his senior devils both went separate ways, leaving him by himself to weather the glares of everyone on his lonesome.
"Issei, you prick!"
Without an instant of warning, Issei caught a wild haymaker in the face, not even having time to react before he was sprawled out on the ground. Underneath him, his shadow stirred, but he was quick to mentally assure Shinobu this was nothing to worry about.
"Now, now, Matsuda- let's allow him to explain himself."
Issei's two equally pervy friends, Matsuda and Motohama, had tears in their eyes. Matsuda, a muscular bald boy, had just decked him in the face, while Motohama, a bespectacled nerd with a rather terrifying scouting ability, stood back.
"But he's frontin'!"
"That may be, but Issei's our buddy. Let's give him a chance to clear his name. Why'd you show up to school with that hottie yesterday?! Why'd you show up with the other hottie today?!"
Any pretense of diplomacy was dropped as Motohama started shouting accusations.
Issei, smirking, picked himself up off the ground.
"Gentlemen? I'd be happy to explain. That blonde woman, from yesterday?"
They both went wide-eyed.
"Yesterday morning, I was rolling in her double d-"
[If ye value thy manhood, it would behoove ye to cease.]
Issei stopped his gloating in its tracks, sensing he was about to grievously offend the modesty of his other half.
"Ahem! I mean, she and I are very close!"
His new sentence was not much better.
"You bastard!"
It didn't matter much anyway, as Matsuda and Motohama were both on him in an instant.
Belial, wtf was that? TSUBASA YURA is taking Tsubasa Hanekawa's place?
Yeah, yeah, I know. What?
Don't worry too hard about it. I promise it'll all make sense before the end.
Other than that tidbit, I'm pretty sure nothing else is super jarring so I'll just wait for the crash of PMs or angry reviews to know if I did anything wrong. Anyway, yeah. Thanks for reading, and as always-
See you next mission!