Yay, Belial updated again!
Oh yeah, I know, I know. It's been like a solid two months since I updated, and more than that since I updated any of my fluffy stories. I promise, I'm doing better now! I was just working a LOT during June/July/August and barely had time to sleep, much less write. Now I'm only working weekends, so I've got a lot more time on my hands. That said, I've been having a lot of trouble getting motivated to write, and I just wanna say that no matter how small or insignificant you think your opinions on a chapter may be, getting reviews seriously makes my day and gives me such more motivation to write. I'm not gonna lie, I got a string of reviews about a week ago that pretty much jump-started me onto working on this chapter. It's as easy as that. If you want me to write more, write a bunch of good reviews! I'm cheap.
Anyway, I'll get out of your way for now. Sorry this took so long, hopefully it's worth it. I just wanna put one more disclaimer up here at the top:
This is not Koyomi Araragi. This is not the Monogatari universe. Issei acts different. Kiss-Shot acts different. Issei, from the very start, had absolutely no problem with tossing his humanity aside. There's literally a line in the first or second episode that's something along the lines of "why would I ever wanna be a human?!" This, from the very start, sets him apart from Araragi in that Araragi's whole goal for a lot of the Monogatari series was preserving his humanity. Issei's lack of care for that very thing would reshape the entirety of he and Kiss-Shot's relationship, and I think in this chapter you'll see how.
Okay, that's it. I just wanted to put that note up there because I know I'm gonna get Monogatari fans bitching about this story. Anyway, here's the story. Enjoy!
Unknown time, March 28
At first, Issei thought he was dreaming.
Above him was dark, dreary grey; a storm cloud. Around and below him, washed out grey walls contrasted against black and white checkered floors- the room around him struck the very picture of "dreamlike".
…Then it occurred to him that dreaming was strange to begin with, since he was supposed to be dead.
After a wholly justified bit of panic had come and gone, Issei scratched his head and looked around himself with a much clearer gaze.
"...where the hell...?" he murmured to himself, looking around and trying to make sense of where in the world he was. There were no windows or light sources in the room, save for the one huge skylight in the roof, currently being beset by the soft pitter-patter of light rain.
Issei guessed it was around midday, given how even though a cloud covered the sky it wasn't completely dark outside.
Straining his eyes to make sense of the gloom around him, he came to the conclusion that he appeared to be in a school, surrounded by chairs and desks in various states of disrepair.
A...classroom?
He put his hand to his head, trying to remember just what in the world had happened to make him wake up in a classroom, but the last thing that came to mind was finding that woman in the subway- which had to be a dream, right?
After all, vampires didn't really exist, did they?
But then- where was he?
What had happened?
Looking at the watch on his left hand, he checked the time and date- around ten in the morning, March 28th.
The 28th?
But that couldn't be right- could it? Two days later?
It was then that our poor Issei noticed the other elephant in the room- or rather, on his arm.
His right hand was on the torso of a sleeping little girl, no older than ten, in a rather precarious position.
His eyes went wide.
A flurry of thoughts shot through his mind, most prevalent being "who the hell is this little girl?"
"Uh...hey. Wake up," Issei said, shaking the little girl in the safest place he could think of, her upper arm. She was wearing a strange pink dress, and was very thin and pale, to the point of almost looking malnourished. Her hair was golden blonde, and sat in a messy bob cut.
She grumbled in apparent displeasure, then turned over, not waking up in the slightest.
"Five more minutes," she mumbled, much to Issei's frustration.
"What the hell? Forget that, wake up!"
Issei shook her much harder this time, prompting a mean glare from the little girl before she scooted away and resumed 'sleeping'.
"C'mon kid, where are your parents?!"
Now that got her attention.
"Parents?" she asked, cracking one eye.
"Uh, yeah! And why are you sleeping in some classroom? Are you lost? Hurt?"
Issei began asking an avalanche of questions, worry written all over his face.
With that impromptu interrogation, the little girl finally sat up. She inspected Issei's face, looking for some hint of a joke or humor. There was none.
"Dost thou truly think I'm a little girl?"
She spoke in an incredibly outdated way, not unlike something you'd hear in a fairy tale. It confused Issei a bit, but not so much that he dismissed worrying about her.
"Uh, yeah? Are you homeless or something?"
Far be it from Issei Hyoudou to speak with tact, even to a kid.
"Homeless? Hm, well, I suppose that's correct, in a manner of speaking," the little girl, after a moment of consideration, nodded her head.
"Seriously? Do you live in this school?"
"For the moment, aye."
"Are you...alone?"
"That depends entirely on you."
There was a moment of awkward silence as Issei parsed that line.
What a weird thing to say.
"Uh...alright. What's your name, kiddo?" Issei asked, moving past her odd words and trying to find common ground with this weirdly well-spoken child.
"Kiddo?" she repeated, as if she didn't understand the word.
"...Child?" Issei offered instead, wondering if maybe Japanese wasn't her first language or if she'd learned it from someone who didn't really know it that well.
"Child…" the little girl repeated, this time nodding very slightly.
Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade is many things.
She is generally not a prankster.
Generally.
"...Rola," she said, trying not to smirk, "I am called Rola."
How far would her new servant go for a child he didn't even know, she wondered. Would he be her knight now, too?
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Rola," Issei smiled brightly and stuck his hand out for a fist bump. "I'm Issei Hyoudou."
'Rola' warily eyed his fist, unsure of what to do. She was, being several centuries old, understandably behind on current customs. Choosing instead to disregard his action and use her own manners, she quickly curtseyed.
"Well met," she said.
Issei, not really understanding this kid at all, pulled his hand back.
"Uh...well, do you...need help?"
"With what, praytell?" Rola cocked her head in question.
"Anything? I mean, it's not really normal for a little girl to live in a school, is it?"
"Is it not?"
"...No?"
"I see. Where should I be, then?"
"Daycare? Foster home? Orphanage?" Issei rattled off some suggestions, not really knowing what to do with this situation. There was nothing he wanted more than to scream 'what the hell happened to me, where am I?!', but at the moment his priority was making sure this random little girl was safe.
"Hmm...no. I think, unless I can find another suitable dwelling, this shall remain my home for now."
"A dwelling? Like, a house?"
The little girl shrugged.
"If that is what's available."
"Well…" Issei's first thought was 'come to my house, we'll get you fixed up!', but he couldn't really just come out and say that- could he?
He considered his options for mere moments.
There wasn't really anything else to do, was there?
"Why don't I take you to my house? Then you can figure out what to do," Issei offered, scratching his head. He briefly considered taking her to a police station, but that might be getting a little ahead of himself- and his parents would know what to do better than he might.
"As tempting as that sounds, 'twould be much safer to stay here."
Kiss-Shot was impressed. Not only had he shoved his own questions aside to ask "Rola" if she was alright and safe, he had also offered to take her home.
She wouldn't go, of course, because that would endanger them both, as well as his home.
But, it was a nice sentiment.
"Uh...alright, then. Well then, can you show me the exit? I don't really know how I got here, but my parents are probably getting pretty worried about me by now…" Issei got up, heading towards the door.
"No!" the little girl shouted, worry suddenly covering her face. Issei recoiled, not expecting the outburst.
"...I mean…'tis raining! Thou can't go outside in this, can ye?" Rola laughed nervously, realizing her charade was falling apart. She did want to see how far Issei would go, but she also couldn't let him go outside.
"I think I'll be alright, it's just drizzling…" Issei was hesitant to speak, the girl's sudden worry had given him a bad feeling about the whole situation. Once more he headed towards the door, only to have his path blocked by Rola.
"I cannot allow thee to leave!" she declared, spreading her little arms out to bar his exit.
"What…? Why the hell not?" Issei asked, dumbfounded.
"Ye shall perish!" she shouted, her face every bit as serious as such a grave sentence demanded.
There was a brief pause as Issei calculated the truth behind her words- she certainly didn't look very credible, and between her cheeks being cutely puffed up and standing on the tips of her toes, this pouty child seemed a lot more like just a pouty child than someone genuinely trying to warn him.
"I think I'll take my chances," Issei said in a weirded-out tone, deftly moving around her. He got a couple feet before she was in front of him again, this time literally pushing on his abdomen to try and get him to stop moving.
"Thou cannot! I will jest no longer- if ye exit this building, 'twill put thee in mortal peril!"
"Okay, you're officially starting to freak me out," Issei said as he gently pushed the little girl's oddly weak limbs away from him, walking past her. He left through the classroom's only door, and completely disregarded any sort of direction, simply following the path that looked like it might lead to an exit.
"Rola" followed behind Issei as he quickly walked away, but was unable to quite keep up- the height and stride difference was fairly substantial, being that she was about forty centimeters shorter than him.
"Cease at once, I demand it!" she yelled from behind him, panting in exertion.
"Jeez this kid is persistent," Issei mumbled to himself, ignoring her pursuit. After he'd turned plenty of corners and went down a couple staircases, he finally came to an exit.
Outside, the rain was starting to clear, and the first beams of bright sunlight began to peek through the clouds.
As he got closer to the large double-door exit, Kiss-Shot stopped her chase and looked on in abject horror.
"I beseech thee, don't go outside!"
She called out one last time, but it fell on deaf ears.
The little girl seemed downright frantic at this point, but Issei once more ignored her. His head was spinning, and he needed some space and fresh air at the very least. He burst through the doors just as the clouds were going away entirely, and basked in the sunlight with a smile on his face.
A hysteric scream came from Rola as he turned to look at her, smiling brightly back at the girl while he pondered what her problem was.
But then, something felt a little odd.
A little flicker between his fingertips, as if a bug had crawled onto him without realizing it.
Issei raised his hand to examine the sensation, when, to his great surprise...it caught fire.
He had only time enough for a single panicked though to shoot through his head before the pleasant warmth of the sunshine turned into mind-splitting agony.
Within less than a second, Issei's whole body erupted into a roaring inferno.
That idiot really did it! Kiss-Shot hardly had time to fathom the depth of Issei's stupidity before she, too, had leapt into the sun, flinging herself towards the flailing teenager. She similarly burst into flames, but you couldn't have told she was on fire from her demeanor- she didn't scream or even flinch as she went to retrieve her ward.
Grabbing Issei by his shirt, Kiss-Shot mustered every ounce of strength her child-form could summon, and threw him back into the school. She followed closely behind, rolling herself forward and coming to a stop on her rear end in front of him.
Issei, gasping, felt himself over. He was just on fire, but he didn't feel burned at all.
"Art thou satisfied?"
The tiny voice he'd previously ignored now rang uproariously in his ears.
"Honestly, what kind of idiot throws himself into the sun?"
Issei turned his head slowly towards the little girl, sitting down on her bottom with her legs stretched out in front of her.
"Were we of a lesser breed, ye'd have been immolated instantly. Well, luckily for thee, thou art my kin, so the damage is already gone."
"Rola" had a cocky grin as she held her face in her hands and stared him down, watching him collect himself.
"Ye seem to have had wax in thy ears before, so listen well! Ye shall never again walk under the light of the Sun. For better or for worse, thou art now immortal, so ye shall burn and regenerate, burn and regenerate- 'tis an eternal living hell."
Then, in this morbid situation, this little girl had the gall to laugh before she continued. Unexpectedly, she reached towards his head, making Issei flinch- but instead of doing anything else weird, she simply patted his head and ruffled his hair a bit.
"That is, if ye define an undead vampire as a living thing," she added on, grinning like mad.
"..."
After a moment of silence, Issei gulped hard, the pieces of the puzzle finally clicking in his mind.
"V-vampire…"
"It seems thou hast figured it out."
"T-then, that woman from the subway-"
"Indeed. 'Twas I, Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade."
She put heavy emphasis on the 'rola' in her name, cheekily grinning as Issei caught on to her prank.
As she made her second introduction, she crossed her arms and nodded along, seemingly extremely satisfied with herself.
Issei just watched, his brain pretty much short-circuiting.
"Ye may address me as Heartunderblade," she said with a grin. Unfolding her arms and leaning forward, she crossed her hands behind her back and began to circle the poor Issei.
"It's been more than four-hundred years since I created a servant, and this is but the second time. But, judging how thy healing powers are, it seems I have done well…"
"Servant…?" Issei repeated, scrunching his face in confusion.
"That's right!" Kiss-Shot excitedly declared, pointing at his face. "Therefore, you-"
Kiss-Shot's was silent for a moment, heavy thought on her features as she narrowed her eyebrows and rubbed her chin.
"Come to think of it, I seem to have forgotten your name."
Issei's jaw nearly dropped off his head. It hadn't even been twenty minutes since he introduced himself!
"Ah, I recall! 'Twas Ittei Hyonpon!"
"It's actually Issei Hyoudou…"
"Ah, I see...mine was better, but 'tis of no consequence."
Kiss-Shot turned around and walked slowly away from him, speaking aloud.
"Thy previous name has no meaning towards thy new self at all, but if thou art attached to it I shall allow ye to keep it."
Allow him to keep it?
Issei narrowed his eyes, visibly taken aback.
Just how much audacity could one person have?!
"Anyway, my servant-"
Kiss-Shot turned around, looking him directly in his eyes.
"Welcome, to the world of the night."
A few moments later, Issei was following Kiss-Shot through the school, which, upon a thorough inspection (rather than a hasty run) seemed to actually be more luxurious than Kuoh Academy, Issei's current school. There were several floors, all of which had gorgeous architecture.
"Where are we? For real, this time," Issei asked, a little miffed upon realizing Kiss-Shot had been fucking with him the entire time she claimed to be a child.
"Apparently, 'tis called a 'cram school.' Though, it's been abandoned for years, which makes it useful for hiding ourselves."
"Really? Cool. Well then, Kiss-Shot, my next question-"
"Wait!"
Issei stopped halfway through his sentence as the suddenly-angry loli marched up to him.
"I thought I told ye to call me Heartunderblade!"
"...seriously?" Issei said with a deadpan. "That's a total mouthful. Kiss-Shot is easier 'cus it's shorter- or is that a no-no?"
Kiss-Shot looked away, not meeting his gaze. "Well…" for some reason, she turned unusually meek. "If thou art fine with it, then I guess 'tis fine...rather, I have no reason to decline…"
After a moment of awkward silence following her trail-off, she spoke again.
"So? What was thy next question?"
"Uh...I don't really know how to ask it, so I'm just gonna say it. Am I really a vampire?"
"That goes without saying. Thou wert set alight by the sun mere moments ago, as I recall. There's no need to explain after all that. Thou have become my minion and servant. Ye should feel honored-"
"Wait a damn minute!" Issei suddenly shouted, his eyes going wide. Kiss-Shot jumped at the sudden intensity, quickly backpedaling as he began to rapidly approach her.
Soon she was unable to back up anymore as Issei walked forward until she was pressed flat against a wall, blocking her escape by putting both his arms on either side of her. His eyes were frantic as he shouted a question.
"Be honest with me! You're really the woman from the subway, right?!"
"W-what? Of course! Don't be stupid!"
"No~!"
Issei slowly fell to his knees, letting out a cry of anguish so genuine that it would put most Hollywood actors to shame.
Kiss-Shot watched in confusion, not understanding at all what in the world could be causing him such distress.
"I failed! It was all for nothing!"
"All for nothing? What in the world are ye talking about?"
"Something glorious has disappeared from this world!"
"Something...glorious…?"
Kiss-Shot thought back. Weren't those the words he'd used when he was saving her? His exact phrase was "if you die, something glorious will disappear from this world!" but the meaning was the same, right?
Had he not been talking about her?
Losing her patience, Kiss-Shot grabbed her servant by the collar of his shirt and shook him.
"Get a hold of thyself! What has disappeared?!"
"Your magnificent boobs! They're gone~!"
There was a moment of terse silence as Kiss-Shot processed what Issei said while he sobbed quietly.
"My…" Kiss-Shot looked down at herself- it was true. In her current, child-like form, she had no chest to speak of.
There was a moment of silent contemplation. She truly didn't know how to react. In all her years, Kiss-Shot had never heard anything so...absurd.
Coming back to her senses, she dropped Issei's collar and watched him slump to the floor, folding himself up into a fetal position like some kind of pouty child.
Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade inhaled slowly, then exhaled.
"Did ye only save me for my bosom?!" she suddenly shouted, kicking him in the side with as much force as she could muster.
"Not just that!" he yelled in his own defense.
"Not 'just' that?!" she replied, ferocity in her eyes.
"And it didn't even work~!" he cried in despair, not even caring about the 'little girl' kicking him in the ribs.
"Thou art unthinkably absurd!"
Kiss-Shot turned around, not facing him. She huffed and crossed her arms, but unbeknownst to him, she smiled.
The ancient vampire had to fight not to outright laugh. What a ludicrous idea.
In all the years she'd been alive, she'd never seen anyone do something so...silly.
Even with the facade she put up, it amused her to no end.
Exhaling hard, she turned back around with a sly grin on her face.
"Well, shed not one more tear, oh servant mine. As horrid as that proclamation was, I have good news for thee."
Issei hesitantly looked up, not sure what she'd say. Kiss-Shot gestured to herself, drawing his eyes to her child-like body.
"This body is the best I could do with what little life I had left. Draining thine blood was just enough to stop my death, not to regain my full power. Dost thou recall the state I was in when ye found me? All four limbs cut off, in a ghastly manner."
"Uh, yeah. Wait, shouldn't those grow back if you're a vampire?" Issei asked, wiping his face.
"Aye, if I had my full power. But, the ones who wounded me- vampire hunters- severed my limbs in such a way that prevented me from regenerating them, thus greatly subtracting from my power as a whole with each one stolen. The total being all four, well...here we are."
Kiss-Shot pinched one of her arms, showing how frail it was.
"So…is that why your boobs are gone?"
"I-...yes, that's why my breasts are gone. Anyway, I shall discuss that matter with thee at a later time. For the moment, we have another matter entirely to deal with."
Groaning and dusting himself off, Issei stood up. "What is it?" he asked, looking down at Kiss-Shot.
"We must keep our hierarchy clear, servant."
The little vampire puffed out her chest and put her hands on her hips, trying in vain to establish a position of dominance.
"Even if I look like this, I am still a vampire who has lived over five-hundred years. I am the strongest vampire to ever walk this earth, and have been dubbed the 'King of Monsters' because of it."
She bent forward at the waist, sticking her head out towards him like she was chastising a child.
"Thou art merely a newborn vampire, and as such are in no position to speak to me as an equal."
"Uh...okay?"
"What's with that vague answer? Do ye truly understand all this?"
"Well, I mean, kind of-"
"Then as proof of thine fealty, rub me on the head."
Issei deadpanned, but he did it. He stretched a hand out and began to lightly rub her head, silently marveling at how soft her hair was.
It was so soft, in fact, that he almost didn't notice himself petting her head for quite a bit too long. After about five solid seconds of just rubbing her head back and forth, he finally pulled back.
"Thy fealty is accepted," Kiss-Shot said with a satisfied grin.
Issei followed Kiss-Shot through the massive school, not really sure where they were going. She walked several steps ahead of him, not really providing any easy opportunities to stop and ask questions.
They currently walked along a hotel-esqe hallway several stories above what seemed to be a courtyard, with a massive tree growing up from the ground to way above them. They were headed to a balcony Kiss-Shot mentioned, the little vampire saying it would be a good place to stop and explain everything.
"Why...why did you turn me into a vampire?"
"It's not like I tried to. Anyone whose blood is sucked by a vampire will become a vampire. That's all there is to it."
"Aw, lame…"
"Well, even if ye say 'tis lame, 'tis very convenient for me. I have something I need of thee."
Not facing him as she walked ever onward, Issei noticed she didn't have a shadow. Looking down, he saw he didn't either. It gave him a weird feeling, moving his arms around and not seeing a shadow under them. But, the crazy new muscle mass he had all over his body was a pretty awesome trade, he figured. He'd tried to do a normal jump earlier and had sent himself literally through the roof.
"As I said, this is as much as I was able to regenerate with only thy blood. Right now I am far from my full power. So, from here on, ye must act on my behalf."
"Uh, so what am I supposed to do?"
Kiss-Shot stopped several steps in front of him, staring at the ground. Issei watched her from behind, trying to figure out why she'd been acting so reserved for the past couple minutes.
Meanwhile, Kiss-Shot was waiting for it.
For him to ask one more question.
The one question she knew he had to be just burning to know the answer to.
The question that would seal her fate.
"Uh, hello~? Earth to Kiss-Shot~?"
A flick to the back of her head brought Kiss-Shot back to reality.
"Eh?"
"I'm waiting for you to tell me what to do, doofus. Stop zoning out."
"Well, yes, 'tis one thing, but-"
"But what? What's your deal all of a sudden?"
Issei cocked his head, not understanding why the blonde loli had started to act so strangely all of a sudden.
"Aren't thou…"
"...yes?"
"Aren't thou going to ask me if ye can return to being a human?"
"Huh?! Why the hell would I?!" Issei exclaimed, almost recoiling.
"Y-you mean...you don't want to go back to being human?" Kiss-Shot asked quietly, her eyes literally so wide they looked like they might bug out of her head.
She'd totally dropped the weird form of speech she normally used, making Issei briefly wonder if it was an act to begin with.
"Not at all, why would I? I feel great!" Issei said, flexing his new muscles. "I don't know much about this whole vampire thing yet, but being a human sucks balls! Why would I ever go back?"
Kiss-Shot couldn't even breathe.
"Then...you're going to stay a vampire?"
"Are you having a stroke or something? If I'm not going back to being a human, then I'm staying as a vampire. Should I check your temp- holy shit, are you crying?!"
Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade, the legendary vampire, was indeed crying. She sniffled and wiped her eyes, trying to pretend that nothing was wrong, but try as she might she really couldn't contain herself.
"Did I say something wrong?" Issei asked, feeling kind of awkward while the little girl in front of him cried.
"N-no…!"
Issei truly had absolutely no idea why she was acting this way.
Kiss-Shot, on the other hand, couldn't even believe it.
A closely guarded secret among older vampires is that the only way to return to being human is to feed on the one who turned said human into a vampire, killing the master in the process. If Issei had asked her to return to being human, as she'd expected, he would've been asking her to die.
And Kiss-Shot would've done it.
For him, she would.
She couldn't do it for her first servant. She wasn't ready then.
But she would've been now, had he asked.
But he didn't.
Rather than saying "will you die for me," he'd said "I'll live with you."
And for Kiss-Shot, who had been alone almost every day of her six-hundred year lifespan, that meant the world.
"You're seriously worrying me here…"
Issei cut into her thoughts with a worried pat on the head, unwittingly re-affirming his fealty to her with the simple action.
She started crying harder.
"I'm fine!" she proclaimed, wiping her eyes.
"Sure, sure. Let's go find that balcony or whatever you mentioned earlier."
Having found the balcony, the two now sat outside, overlooking the city from the ninth or so floor of the massive school building. The balcony was rather unfinished, and large chunks of the concrete handrail were cut out. Kiss-Shot sat with her back to the wall atop the corner of said handrail, while Issei leaned against it, facing outwards.
They overlooked what seemed like miles of scaffolding, the school truly having been abandoned mid-construction. Past the scaffolding were three large highways, with cars going over them at a steady pace. Normally, they'd be too far away to determine even the shape of, but Issei found he could make out even the license plate numbers with his newly enhanced vision.
"Being a vampire is so rad," he'd remarked under his breath.
Kiss-Shot wasn't entirely clear on the terminology of "rad" but she hoped it meant something good. If the boy's bright smile was any indication, it did.
Ignoring his glee, she began to explain his current purpose in her plans.
"The three who stole my arms and legs- Dramaturgy, Episode, and Guillotine Cutter. They are vampire extermination specialists."
Bringing himself back to paying attention, he gave her a weird look.
"So those are the dudes that hunted you? And wait, what's up with all these weird names…?"
"'All these?' Art thou implying my name is weird?"
"...yes."
Kiss-Shot was on her feet in an instant, yelling down at her servant.
"Really?!"
Holding his hands out to the side as if to say 'what do you want from me', Issei yelled back in response.
"Did you expect me to say no?!"
"Yes! First thou refuse to say my name properly, then thou hast the audacity to dub it 'weird'?! Were I not thy master, I think I'd flay thee!"
Huffing, Kiss-Shot plopped back down on the balcony's edge.
"Ignoring the rather blatant lack of respect for thy master, yes, those are the ones who hunted me."
"Well, I mean, at least you're alive, right?"
"Mistake not my melancholy for dissatisfaction, servant. I am glad to be alive. But, 'tis a pain that my limbs have been taken from me. My immortality is gone, and if they were to attack me now- there is no way I could fight. I would die."
A solemn silence settled over Issei. He hadn't realized her situation was still that dire. So much for saving her life, he thought.
"Therefore…"
He perked up, wondering what she'd say next.
"...if thou wilt battle these three on my behalf, and bring my limbs back to me...everything will be fine, will it not?"
"...huh?"
"In order for us to survive, I must be returned to my fully powered state. In other words, my complete form. Those four limbs they stole from me are absolutely essential for that."
There was a pregnant pause as Issei considered what she'd said.
"So you want me, who's never gotten in a fight before ever, to beat up the three vampire hunters that almost killed you…?"
"Aye."
"You're totally nuts!"
"I most certainly am not!"
"How am I supposed to beat them when they beat you? Aren't you like the strongest vampire ever?! They'd kill me!"
"Only if thou wert a human! Since thou art my servant and I've been weakened, thou art the most powerful vampire on the planet. Those three should be small fry!"
"You say that, but didn't they almost kill you?! Even if my current self is more powerful than your weakened self, they ganked you at full power!"
"'Twas a fluke! I was merely caught off guard during that battle because they cornered me all together. If thou wert to get them one at a time, 'twould be easy, nay, trivial to retrieve my limbs."
Calming back down from the childish rage she'd flown into, she got in Issei's face. He only just now noticed, but even as a child she had the most piercing eyes he'd ever seen.
"In other words...this should be an easy job."
Late Evening, April 30th
On the way back from making his first pact, Issei walked beside his bicycle.
"So you gotta teach me how to make stuff sometime, right?"
"What would be the point? If ye don't plan on remaining a full vampire, 'twould be a useless effort. Only those of our strength can manipulate matter to the extent I can."
"Aw, seriously? What about Dramaturgy, he did the thing with the swords and he was a shitty vampire!"
"Aye, 'tis true. But what he did likely was all he could do. Creating matter and separating it from thyself is a much higher level skill than simple shapeshifting, though I make it look easy."
From her place inside the cart of Issei's bike, Shinobu laughed. Still in the form of a small child in a sundress, she sat cross-legged with her sunhat covering her eyes.
"So you really won't teach me?"
Tilting her head up just far enough to peek at him from under the large hat, Shinobu considered his plea.
"C'mon, please? I'll buy you more donuts~..." Issei teased, poking her leg. Truth be told, even if he wasn't staying a full vampire, the thought of making his own stuff instead of having to buy it was super enticing. Imagine, instead of overpriced anime figurines, just making your own!
It was an otaku's dream come true.
"W-well, I suppose that's a fair trade. Very well, I shall mentor thee yet again. Hmph, what a helpless master I have."
She ducked back down underneath her hat, done with that line of conversation.
Without warning, a purple glow fell over the area.
"Ugh, this again? I'm seriously getting tired of this crap!" Issei said, propping his bike against a telephone pole. Shinobu deftly flipped out of the basket, landing feet-first on the concrete and melting into, quickly taking her place as Issei's shadow.
[Do try not to die again, my master.]
The pitch of Shinobu's voice within his shadow told him she had returned from the form of a child to her true state, likely preparing for battle.
"What a surprise," a husky feminine voice asked from behind him. Issei turned to face the source of the voice- a woman walking towards him in the middle of the street, apparently the cause of the purple barrier. She was wearing a ridiculously low cut maroon dress, and her blue hair fell all the way down to her ankles.
"You're not what I expected, but I'm certain you're the one I was sent to find. My name is Kalawarner, and I have orders to destroy you."
"Good luck!" Issei yelled back, thoroughly sick of people trying to attack him for no reason.
"Hmph. This is truly unusual. They were supposed to have taken care of this already."
From Kalawarner's back sprung two midnight black wings.
"Another fallen?!" Issei asked, exasperated. Just how many grunts were they gonna send at him?!
"Why are you still alive?!"
In an instant, Kalawarner formed and threw a spear of golden light.
Issei easily dodged, diving to the side while the spear zipped past him. In the moment his left hand was outstretched to dive, Kalawarner noticed a glowing red symbol on his palm.
"Is that...the Gremory Family Crest?! So you're the one that broke Dohnaseek's nose…interesting. Well, the fact that you're a vampire and a devil just makes it all the more important that you're destroyed!"
Kalawarner leapt into the air, a spear of light ready in her right hand.
[My master, why not take this chance to try and activate your dormant power?]
"Huh?"
[Thy so-called Sacred Gear? Was the prerequisite not simply focusing? Attempt it once more, and if thy evil eye destroys this vermin I shall simply devour her remains.]
"Oh. Yeah, that's not a bad idea."
In the time the two vampires took to converse, Kalawarner had barely cocked her arm back. Mentally, they operated so much faster than anyone else that it was entirely possible for a much longer conversation to take place before she'd even thrown the spear.
"Alright, focus~!"
Issei began to truly focus, not distracted by something so mundane as Rias' panties, this time. He clenched his hands and tightly shut his eyes, drawing upon all his mental strength.
"...focus on the part of your body you feel is strongest," Rias had said.
Issei thought back, remembering what had happened at the beginning of this month-
-the most intense fight he'd ever been in.
When he'd battled Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade herself.
He recalled how much strength he'd felt in his arms during that battle, each of his punches able to level a building without breaking a sweat.
[Hoh? I am a little upset that is thy example of strength, but do as ye will.]
Ignoring her, Issei began to focus intensely on his left arm. The strength in his vampiric limbs was immense, and if he were to truly let loose he could bring down a skyscraper without much effort.
Without even realizing it, Issei began to let out a battlecry like the one he'd bellowed during that fight, screaming at the top of his lungs. His devil wings sprouted from his back at the same time, though he wasn't really consciously pulling them out.
"Focus!" he roared, extending his left hand towards the sky like he was reaching to bring down the stars.
All of a sudden, a bright green light began to shine from his hand.
[This is-!]
Without any warning, a shockwave of power released from his arm.
Kalawarner had just enough time to widen her eyes in shock as the influx of power slammed her senses. The sheer windstorm generated by his release ripped her maroon dress right off her body, leaving her stark naked in the air.
Issei stood mute, in shock himself. Upon his left arm sat a jagged red bracer, with green and gold accents and a huge emerald in the center.
"Is that...a sacred gear?!" Kalawarner yelled, unable to believe her eyes. "Screw this! I've got better things to do, someone else can deal with this crap!"
Without another word, she'd flown off, shattering her own barrier and leaving a flurry of black feathers behind.
Issei was dumbfounded, staring at his arm.
"Is this it? The sacred gear?"
[I suppose so. Truth be told, I didn't believe ye had one at all. I wonder why thou never awakened it during our battle? Was I not pressing enough for ye? Perhaps I should have fought harder, kaka!]
"What do you think it does?"
[I haven't the faintest notion. Perhaps thy master will know.]
Issei, dissatisfied with her vague answer, held it up to his face.
['Tis a rather ugly thing, is it not? And...somewhat familiar.]
"Familiar?
[Aye, though...I can't place from where. Perhaps 'tis simply my memory...why not head back to that dingy clubroom and show thy master? Like a dog showing their owner a neat bone, kaka!]
"Don't make me step on you," Issei growled as he glared menacingly at his shadow.
[Hoh? What is the saying nowadays? 'Don't threaten me with a good time?']
Issei's breath hitched and he nearly choked. Hearing that sultry voice from the fully restored Kiss-Shot, who was without contest the most beautiful woman alive, was enough to make his heart skip a beat and his lower head...have ideas.
[Curb thy perversity. As...flattering as thy excitement is, do not presume for a moment I shall simply forget thou stripping that woman right in front of me, ye dog.]
"That was so not my fault! How the hell was I supposed to know this thing strips chicks?! Wait, do you think that's what the power is!?"
Issei suddenly began to foam at the mouth, inspecting the bracer with a newfound excitement.
[On behalf of all women, I sincerely hope not.]
"Congratulations, you found it."
Rias was in a rather businesslike pose, with her elbows propped up on her desk and her hands folded underneath her chin. She spoke with reservation, but a hint of excitement was clear.
Issei was back in the ORC clubroom, surrounded by his fellow devils. Shinobu remained in his shadow, mostly due to her master's earlier request to stop antagonizing Rias.
"Now that you've awakened it, dismissing the gear should be as simple as thinking it."
With a red flash, the bracer on Issei's arm disappeared.
"Oh thank goodness. I was worried that thing was just gonna stay put," Issei said sheepishly.
"I'm so proud of you, Issei~!" Akeno announced from beside him, a genuine smile on her face.
Still not used to her attention, the poor boy could only shyly grin and rub the back of his head.
"You are? Thanks…" Issei replied, not really knowing how to properly accept the praise.
"This does put me in a bit of a strange position," Rias interjected, returning to the subject. "The remaining Fallen Angels now know that not only are you a vampire and a devil, but you do indeed have a sacred gear. Things are sure to get more complicated…"
"Oh...my bad," Issei apologized, looking down at the ground. He didn't really mean to cause trouble, and it made him feel bad.
"I know you ran into the fallen as an accident, but please don't get carried away now that you've unlocked your sacred gear and try to fight them on your own. I realize you and Miss Shinobu could easily beat them, but it would be disrespectful to the rest of us."
The way she reprimanded him was reminiscent of a scolding teacher, and it made him a little guilty even though he hadn't done a whole lot.
Sighing, Issei hung his head. "I understand," he said solemnly. "Thank you. I'm a little tired now, so I'm gonna head home."
A moment later, the door closed behind Issei as he headed back to his house.
"Exaggeration much?" Akeno said accusingly once he was completely gone.
Rias looked to her queen, who looked back at her with a worried look.
"He's still new, why do you have to scare him?"
"I'm not trying to scare him," Rias replied indignantly, "I just don't want him to overestimate himself. Plus," she added, absentmindedly biting at her fingernail, "I will not let the Fallen take my new favorite servant."
The next morning, May 1st
"Ugh…"
Issei groaned and picked his head up out of his pillow- that is to say, pillows, as he was once again being used as a hug-doll by a certain sleeping vampiress and had his head firmly planted in her chest.
"Again?!" he thought, having assumed Shinobu sleeping in his bed had been a one-time thing.
Apparently it wasn't, though this time she wasn't naked.
Although...she may as well have been.
What Shinobu was wearing barely even classified as "clothes" in the modern sense of the word. She had on a disastrously low cut black nightgown, and while it wasn't see-through, it was plain for the poor boy to tell that she had absolutely nothing on under it.
"What the hell, Shinobu-"
"Shh~..."
Issei's sentence was cut off as she rolled over, smothering him between her and the bed. His blush turned atomic as she nuzzled the crook of his neck with her cheek, whispering nonsense in her sleep.
His poor heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest, and he was positive if he didn't have vampiric healing his brain would've already dripped out through his nose.
It wasn't just her chest or face pressed against him, either. Her entire body was pushing down like she was trying to wear him. Her legs were wrapped restrictively around his knees, and her arms had an iron grip around his chest. Her fully powered form was undoubtedly the physically strongest thing on Earth, and her crushing grip reflected that.
Resigning himself to not getting out of her vice, Issei's senses kicked into overdrive, trying to take in every possible detail of her while he had the chance.
"Why does she smell so sweet…? And why is she so...warm…"
Issei felt himself began to lose a bit of self-control. She was just so...enticing.
"Dear God, if this is a dream, please let me never wake up. Amen."
As Issei sent the silent prayer, he felt a sharp pain throb in his head, but hardly enough to distract him from the situation.
"Mmm…"
Suddenly, Shinobu moaned in her sleep, and turned over once more. This time, however, was rather violent.
Unfortunately for both of them, they ended up on the floor, Shinobu's strength rolling them off the bed entirely.
Issei landed on his hands and knees on top of her, while she was flat on her back looking up at him.
Now, here's the problem with that.
I, your humble narrator, may have fibbed.
Issei did in fact land on his knees, but he only landed on one hand.
The other, however, ended up underneath Shinobu's nightgown and firmly wrapped around her left breast.
His brain broke.
The softness was unreal.
It was too much for his vampire senses to handle.
"Holy shiiiit~! This is a titty! No, no- this is the titty!"
He jumped for joy in his mind, having truly achieved the pinnacle of second base on planet Earth.
But then, he had to swallow hard.
There was a choice to be made.
He had touched titty, yes.
But had he touched nip-
"Ahem."
Issei nearly jumped out of his skin as the vampire he was currently definitely-not-molesting cleared her throat. He slowly turned his gaze upward to her face, not moving a muscle.
The face he saw staring back was not at all what he expected.
Rather than a pissed-off vampire, he saw Shinobu, with a blush not unlike that of a teenage girl, refusing to meet his gaze and staring off to the side of the room. She was nervously biting her bottom lip, and appeared to be trembling just a bit.
"Be gentle, milord…'tis my first time." she whispered, not looking.
Issei blacked out.
"Thou art a cretin."
"I'm sorry…."
"A barbarian."
"I'm sorry!"
"A damnable criminal. Were we in my time, thou would be thrown in a dungeon to rot."
Issei groaned in anguish. He was apologizing to Shinobu, who walked beside him with her umbrella out. She was in the form of a teenager his age, wearing a purple hoodie and black skirt with black leggings to match. Her hood was up, and her blonde hair spilled down out of it in a ponytail that reached down to her midriff.
An important distinction to make is that Shinobu was under the umbrella.
Issei was about four feet behind her, sweltering under the sun.
As per Rias' suggestion, they were both at the level of a half-vampire, which was enough to not burn in sunlight but still be pretty uncomfortable. Shinobu, able to easily bypass this weakness, had her umbrella out over her head. Issei, who still had not been taught to create anything except his clothes, was unable to share in such luxury.
Of course, he was by no means allowed in her umbrella, because he couldn't be trusted to keep his hands away from where they shouldn't be.
"Look, I said I'm sorry! And hey, you're the one that rolled us off the damn bed! This is at least seventy-five percent your fault! And what was with that 'be gentle' bit? It was almost like you wanted-"
Snapping around to face him, Shinobu glared the poor boy down with such intensity that he physically couldn't finish the sentence. Her golden slit-pupil eyes spoke of hell on earth if he even for a second implied something so uncouth.
"I mean...I'm sorry…" he said instead, hanging his head.
"Hmph. Pathetic."
Shinobu turned back around, walking forward with a renewed speed while Issei struggled to keep up.
"Thou art so much a coward that ye had to attack me in my sleep rather than simply making a move...and ye couldn't even go all the way."
"I'm sorry, what was that?" Issei asked, having heard every word with his vampiric hearing.
"Silence!" she yelled, walking even faster.
Issei huffed in resignation, not at all understanding her deal. So, she wasn't mad at him for accidentally groping her, she was mad because that's all he did?!
"Why are girls so complicated…?"
"I can still hear thy thoughts, mongrel!"
"Get outta my head, damn it!"
It bothered Issei to no end that their vampiric link shared everything. He could feel what she was feeling, sure, but that also meant she could feel what he was feeling.
And hear what he was thinking.
Issei wasn't experienced enough to read anyone's mind, whether it was through their link or with his powers, but Shinobu absolutely was, and if she focused she could most certainly read his mind.
And it kinda ticked him off.
He couldn't even think bad thoughts in peace!
"Ouchie!"
Somewhere behind them, a small feminine voice cried out in pain. He turned around to find the source, and, much to his glee, was met with the sight of white panties. Some girl had fallen over, and her rear was sticking straight up in the air for him to see. She wore a strange black nun's outfit with a white veil covering most of her head, and around her were scattered articles of clothing and an open suitcase.
A growl from behind him reminded Issei who he'd been walking with in the first place, and he gulped in fear at the thought of what Shinobu would do if he ogled someone else right in front of her...again.
"I must've fallen down again...I'm such a klutz…"
The girl sat up, holding her head with one hand.
"Holy shit- hot chick!"
She was seriously gorgeous, with long blonde hair and bright green eyes, and the most innocent look Issei had ever seen. She only just noticed him, and looked like a deer caught in headlights.
"Hey there, are you alright?" Issei asked, coming to his senses and stepping forward to help her. He extended a hand, which she gratefully accepted.
"Oh, yeah, I'm okay, really…" she insisted, pulling herself off the ground with his hand. As she stood up, a gust of wind blew the veil off her head, revealing her face entirely.
Issei couldn't help but stare. She was just so...cute!
Shinobu was gorgeous, without a doubt the most beautiful woman alive- but this girl was the kind of adorable that could drive men insane.
"Uh…" she said awkwardly, and Issei only then realized he'd been holding her hand the entire time.
"Oh! Sorry!" he said, jumping backwards. Then he realized her veil as still on the ground, and picked it up for her before the wind blew it away.
"Oh, thank you, you're too kind!"
"Oh please, it was nothing-"
"I wasn't aware thou spoke Italian, my master," Shinobu said in Japanese, finally entering the conversation. She didn't even acknowledge the blonde girl, simply standing beside Issei and narrowing her eyes at him from underneath the umbrella.
"...Italian?" Issei asked her, furrowing his brow.
"Oh, hello there," the girl said, bowing her head to Shinobu. Returning her attention to Issei, she nervously put her fingertips together and looked down at the ground.
"Um, I hate to ask this, but you're the only one I've met here who speaks Italian...I'm a little lost, could you help me out a bit?"
"Uh…" Issei glanced at Shinobu, wondering what in the world they both were talking about. She simply shrugged, waving her free hand in a 'do what you want' sort of motion.
Feeling like somehow he'd regret it later, Issei turned back towards the blonde girl.
"Sure, where did you need to go?"
So, did you like it? If you did, please leave a review! If you didn't, please PM me! (Or join my discord- more on that in a bit.)
Couple of things to go over:
"Why does Issei have the Boosted Gear? That's so boring/unnecessary/overused!" Yeah, uh, I'm gonna level with you. I don't really care. As I mentioned at the beginning of the story, this is canon DxD and this is canon Issei. He'd still have the Boosted Gear.
"I really wish Issei wasn't a devil." Guys, honestly, if you're gonna say this- please just don't. A lot of you don't realize how much harder it becomes to write a story when Issei deviates so much from the canon. A non-devil Issei means I essentially have to flesh out SO much more rather than drawing from the original work. It's rough, alright?
"Why does Kiss-Shot act so weird?" Alright, I'm gonna tell you straight up. This is EXACTLY how Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade acts in canon Monogatari. I promise, I put a lot of work into making sure I write her true to her character. I've got three books (Kizumonogatari, Kabukimonogatari, and Nisemonogatari) that I keep by my laptop so whenever I'm writing a scene with Shinobu (read: always) I can double check to make sure it's in-character. Here's the bottom line: her high and mighty act? It's almost all a facade. That's all I'll say for now.
"Why does Kiss-Shot have two names?" Yeah, so, I know it can be kind of confusing how often I jump around with the names, but I promise it'll all make sense. If you're confused, hopefully this will clear it up somewhat: Shinobu Oshino and Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade are the same person, just like Yuuma Amano and Raynare are the same person. Shinobu isn't a "disguise" like Yuuma is, but it is a separate name. Taadaa~!
"Why doesn't Issei date/romance/have sex with/love Kiss-Shot?" This is something I've been asked a bit already. There is a BIG reason Issei won't go all the way with Kiss-Shot, and it's something that happened between him becoming a vampire and him becoming a devil. You'll learn more as I write more, but for now I'll just say that.
"Is this gonna be a harem?" Almost definitely.
"Are you writing Kiss-Shot fluff, you fucking maniac?" You're goddamn right. She deserves love, damn it!
Alright. That's everything I can think of at the moment, so I'll end with a Discord plug: if you ever want to talk to me, whether it's just to say hi or to suggest ideas for a story or whatever, please join my Discord server!
discord .gg/ KnQzEW9
There's the link. Copy that into your browser or Discord, and you'll be able to join.
PS: If you were in the server previously and left/were booted (likely for inactivity), please feel free to join again. We always need more active members for me to pester for ideas.
PS^2: Jarvis, if you're reading this, rejoin the server. I need more good idea monkeys!
Alright, I think that's about it. Rest assured my next update won't take another 2 months (seriously, sorry guys!) and as always,
See you next mission!