Welcome back! I'm pretty consistently putting out one long, high quality chapter per month, and I'm pretty alright with that update schedule. My head's gotten a lot clearer since putting most of my stories on hiatus (sorry lol) but this one is going strong, I assure you. Anyway, I won't say a whole lot, but I will mention this: this chapter is where the story really deviates from canon, in both the prequel and the main storyline. I won't give away anything more than that, but if you've got questions after reading then make sure you check the AN at the bottom. That's all, folks!
Read and review!
Night, March 29th
Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade sat beside Issei Hyoudou in the cram school ruins, both of them seated in a row of discarded chairs. Kiss-Shot was laying across two of them, with her head face-up on Issei's lap, looking up at him while they discussed plans.
"Thy first target shall be Dramaturgy."
"That's the big dude with the swords, right?"
"Aye. He is one of our kind."
"He's a vampire? Wait, is it like one of those cool stories where a vampire hunts other vampires, like Blade?!"
"Aye, 'tis exactly it, though I must admit I am unfamiliar with this 'Blade.' Is he a great warrior?"
Issei didn't really know how to answer that.
"...yes," he replied, not wanting to explain.
"Mm, I see. I would much like to witness him."
"Well, if we go to my house, you can witness him in high-definition."
"What is 'high-definition?'"
"It means- holy shit, my house!"
Isse leapt out of the seat he was in, nearly sending the tiny Kiss-Shot to the floor.
"I gotta go home! I've been gone for like three days!"
"Home? Ye cannot go home!" Kiss-Shot sprang to her feet, offended at the mere thought.
"My parents have gotta be worried sick! Holy shit, holy shit, I hope they haven't called the cops…"
Ignoring his master, Issei began to gnaw on a fingernail and pace nervously around the room. His heart was going a mile a minute, and he kept muttering to himself about how much trouble he was in.
Kiss-Shot found it breathtakingly annoying.
"Cease!"
She kicked him hard in the shin, making the poor boy cry out in pain as he slumped to the floor holding his hurt leg.
"Agh-! What the hell, why is your answer always violence…?" he groaned, rubbing his shin.
"If the answer is not violence, 'tis an invalid question. In any case! Ye cannot return home at the current state. 'Twould be much too dangerous."
"Seriously? But my parents-"
"Thy parents would also be in danger. I assure ye, the ones hunting us would be bothered none if there were some humans slain on accident."
Issei deflated instantly, laying down from his position on the floor.
"So I can't go see my parents?" he groaned, staring at the ceiling.
Seeing Issei look so sad struck an odd chord with Kiss-Shot, and she felt compelled to comfort him. She crouched down beside him, rubbing his hair.
"Worry not, my servant. I said ye cannot see them at the current state. When I have been restored at least to half of my power, and the vampire hunters have been sufficiently defeated, thou shouldst be able to move much more freely. Mayhaps I shall even accompany thee," she added, not disliking the thought.
Introducing Kiss-Shot to his parents? The mere concept made Issei blanch. Not to mention, wouldn't she be back to her real body, the tall hot one with a banging chest? He swallowed hard, wondering how his parents would react to him bringing home a foreign supermodel.
After a moment of silence, Kiss-Shot spoke up again.
"For the moment, dost thou have one of those mobile communication devices? They are fairly new, as I understand it."
"A cell phone? Holy shit, you're old…"
"I am not a day over one-hundred and twenty-nine!"
"Right, right. And yeah, I have a cell phone," he asserted, kind of offended at the insinuation, while he picked himself up. "But it's dead."
"Dead? I was under the impression 'twas inanimate."
"Well, I dunno what that means, but dead means it's out of electricity. It won't work," he explained, dusting off his pants.
"Hoh? Electricity? Why didst thou not simply say so from the start?"
Kiss-Shot smirked and held her right hand up in the air. Issei watched closely, wondering what she was doing- when a small bolt of electricity leapt out from her hand and zapped the tip of his nose.
"Ow, shit- what the fuck was that?!"
"Kakaka! Manipulating electricity is one of the rarest abilities a vampire can have, but I am Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade! I possess them all!" she cackled manically, and began to chase after Issei with small lightning bolts arcing off her fingertips.
"Leave me alone, you tiny sith lord!"
Several electricity-filled screams later
"Kaka, I believe thou hast had enough."
Kiss-Shot stood above a slightly-singed Issei, who lay on the ground twitching.
"Is this your idea of play fighting?!"
He yelled, suddenly up and in her face. She merely laughed and shrugged, not denying it.
After a moment, Issei remembered why they'd been talking about electricity in the first place.
"Okay, seriously. I gotta tell my parents I'm alright," he said in a no-nonsense voice. "They're probably worried sick."
"Hmph. I am certain thy family will be fine."
"Look, at least show me how to do that thing with the lightning then so I can charge my phone and call them!"
Kiss-Shot was a little confused. He seemed very distraught at the notion of his human family worrying for him. Did he not realize he was beyond them now?
Vampires don't have family.
But, regardless of her personal feelings, she was loath to deny her new servant.
"Hmph, fine. I suppose I can show my pitiful fledgling a couple tricks. Those sparks are my limit for the time being, as I have been reduced to this pitiful level of vampirism, but shouldst thou master what I teach thee, thou wilt conjure lightning the likes of which has not been seen by men in an age."
"Seriously?!" Issei laughed, in awe. How did this tiny chick make everything sound so cool?!
"'Tis most serious," she echoed. "Now, let us begin."
Kiss-Shot walked over to a clear spot on the floor, gesturing for Issei to follow. He did so eagerly, literally bursting with excitement at the thought of learning some new vampire skills.
Kiss-Shot knelt down, folding her legs up and sitting on her shins. She patted the top of her tiny thighs, seemingly wanting Issei to lay down and put his head there.
"Uh...I don't really want a lap pillow from a kid, sorry-"
"Just do it!"
"I'm not a criminal!"
"I am older than the laws ye refer to! Place thy head upon my lap or suffer the consequences!"
"Ugh...stupid anime trope, why's the loli always gotta be nine-hundred years old or some shit-"
Grumbling under his breath, Issei layed down and placed his head on Kiss-Shot's lap.
"Before I begin, bear in mind I have never taught this to another. My lessons may be... lacking."
"Wait, really? I thought you had another servant?"
"Aye, but… I never taught them to him."
"Really? How come?"
Kiss-Shot looked away.
"There was no point. He did not want to be a vampire at all," she said quietly, trailing off.
Sensing her melancholy, Issei chose to change the subject. "Sounds like he's missing out, I guess. Alright, now how do I do the lightning hands?"
"Pace thyself. Before I teach you to manipulate the elements as only some vampires can, I must first teach you the essence of a vampire's powers."
"You sound like some old sage."
"Be silent!"
Kiss-Shot exhaled deeply, calming herself. She took on the attitude of an experienced mentor, her little girl persona thrown away in an instant.
"When I conjured electricity earlier, where did it come from?"
"Uh… your hands."
"Correct. Such is the current limit of thine abilities. A vampire of thy infantile age can only manipulate thine own body. Ye cannot call lightning from the sky, or pull clouds from afar. Ye cannot teleport or move things with thy mind. Thou art not a mage. Thou art a monster."
Inwardly, Issei beamed. What an awesome line! Although, he did feel just a bit of apprehension at having been labeled a 'monster'.
Just a bit, though.
"A normal vampire would have none of those to begin with, of course. However, we in particular possess every power a vampire has ever had. I, Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade, am the King of Monsters, and the most powerful vampire to ever live. Thou art my kin, and as such ye shall eventually possess all my strengths."
"And weaknesses?"
"Weaknesses? I have no such thing."
"Huh?! So running water, garlic, a stake through the heart, salt lines, all that stuff? None of it bothers you?"
"None of that bothers any vampire worth their fangs, but I shan't dwell on thy fantasies. As I said, thy power is within thine immortal body."
Issei listened eagerly, nearly bursting with barely-restrained excitement from her explanations.
"Extend thy hand," Kiss-Shot suddenly instructed.
With no argument he put his right hand out, pointing towards the ceiling.
Kiss-Shot took his index finger and middle finger, one in each hand.
Without even a single word of warning, she snapped them both.
Issei screamed out in pain, not expecting it in the slightest.
He gingerly held his shattered digits, gritting his teeth from the agony.
"What the hell is your problem?! You damn-"
"Save thy curses. The damage is already gone."
"What are you-"
Issei looked down at his hand, and true to her word, his fingers were already healed. It hadn't even taken a few seconds. He flexed them back and forth, not really sure what to expect- and sure enough, they worked like they'd never been broken at all.
"Holy shit…"
Issei was in awe. Was this what 'immortality' meant?
Moving on as if she hadn't just broken his fingers, Kiss-Shot continued her explanation.
"Thy vampiric body is an improvement in every possible manner on thy previously human one. It will handle certain things automatically, such as regeneration. Electricity, however, is a complicated beast. It requires intense focus and mental power to achieve even the smallest of sparks, as I showed thee."
Kiss-Shot held up her hands about a foot above Issei's face, both palms facing each other several inches apart.
From her left hand, a bolt of electricity arced to the right.
"That's so freakin cool!"
Kiss-Shot took on a smug grin, pleased with herself. It didn't seem hard to impress her new fledgling, but she enjoyed it nonetheless.
"So how do I do it?"
"Thou simply must concentrate and will the electricity into thy hands."
Issei furrowed his brows, not really understanding her instructions. He sat up, looking his master in the eyes.
"Okay, but how?"
"What dost thou mean?"
"How do I do that?"
"I just told thee."
"You said to concentrate electricity into my hands."
"Aye. 'Tis as simple as that."
"That's not simple!"
"It most certainly is!"
"Then how do I do it?!"
"Ye just do!"
"I don't know how!"
"I just explained!"
"You explained the concept! How do I actually do it?!"
"Ye must focus electricity into thy hands!"
"Agh!"
Standing up, Issei nearly yanked his hair out in frustration.
Was this what she'd meant by her lessons being 'lacking'? Her conceptual explanation had been uncharacteristically thorough, but her actual teaching was horrible!
"Alright, alright…" Issei took deep breaths, trying to prevent himself from smacking the little vampire silly. "You don't know how to teach me lightning, do you?"
Kiss-Shot looked like she wanted to argue, but deflated after a moment.
"...I have simply forgotten. 'Twas nearly five-hundred years ago that I was taught."
Sighing in resolution, Issei fished his dead phone out of his pocket and handed it to her.
"Can you just charge this for me?"
"Let not thy disappointment show, my servant. Memory is a trifling thing for a vampire, and once I have a limb restored I shall be able to instruct thee further. For now though, I suppose I can resurrect thy device."
She took the device in one hand, there was a flash and a crackle of electricity, and it began to turn on. Before she handed it back, however, she inspected it.
"I hath heard of and briefly glimpsed these devices, but ne'er have I held one."
"A smartphone? Really?"
"Aye. Is that the name? A 'smartphone?'"
"Uh, yeah. How old did you say you were again?"
"Five-hundred and ninety-eight."
"Right, just checking. So like...do you know what the internet is?"
"Of course I do! 'Tis a series of wires and tubes that carry information."
"I...huh. I mean, you're not completely wrong. Anyway, a smartphone is a phone that can access the internet and do all kinds of cool shit. Check this out."
Issei took his phone, and opened up a video streaming app. He briefly wondered what kind of video Kiss-Shot might enjoy, and decided on some classical music. So, he found a video of someone playing Clair de Lune, set his phone on the ground, and started it.
She was quickly entranced, watching the video with wide eyes.
"This person is playing right now?" she asked quietly.
"No, they take the video of them doing something cool and upload it to this website. Then you can watch it any time, anywhere, as many times as you want."
"Hoh? I suppose humans have come up with some exceptional devices."
"Uh, if you want… I can leave that here while I go deal with Dramaturgy. You can watch videos or whatever while you wait for me."
That got her attention. Kiss-Shot looked back at her servant, curiosity gleaming in her eyes.
"Ye don't need it?"
"I think I'll be fine without it for a bit. After I call my mom, anyway."
Issei went to pick up his phone, only for Kiss-Shot to push it out of his reach and continue watching the pianist.
"Hmph. I shall relinquish thy device in a moment. 'Tis most intriguing, I must admit."
Issei sat down, sighing. He felt like somehow he'd made a mistake, and had a hunch he wouldn't be getting his phone back anytime soon.
He briefly wondered if his master would be tech-savvy enough to figure out how to check his internet history, and got a little worried.
Several videos later, he'd managed to wrestle the device from his master.
Issei walked alone through a hallway of the cram school, wondering how he'd gone so long without realizing he hadn't spoken to his parents. What had it been now since he left home- three days? Four? He hoped they hadn't already filed a police report.
He absentmindedly ended up on the balcony he and Kiss-Shot had discussed the vampire hunters on, staring out at nighttime Kuoh.
He brought out his phone, nervously biting his lip as he flipped through his contacts. After a moment of deep breaths, Issei swallowed his nerves, selected Miki Hyoudou, and pressed 'call'.
As he waited for the call to connect, he began to wonder if maybe this wasn't the best idea.
After all, it was late. Would his mom even be awake?
If she was, what would he even say?
'Hey mom, sorry for being gone four days without saying anything. Oh yeah, I'm totally fine, I'm just this six-hundred year old chick's vampire servant now.'
He nearly laughed.
Maybe he should've thought about this some more. It wasn't too late to hang up-
"Hello? Issei, honey, are you there? Please say something!"
Issei's breath caught in his throat as his mother's worried voice pierced his thoughts.
"H-hey, mom. Yeah, I'm here," he replied, his voice cracking just a bit.
Miki's strangled sob was the sound of pure relief. He heard a shout in the background, and some scurrying.
"Issei? Is that really you?" came his father's voice. They'd switched to speakerphone on that end, and he could hear his mother softly crying in the background.
Issei deflated, guilt and relief flooding him in an instant.
"Yeah dad, I'm here," he answered.
Juzo let out a heavy sigh, and there was a moment of background noise before he replied.
"Where are you, son? Are you safe? Are you okay? We can come get you-"
"I'm fine," Issei said, cutting Juzo off. "I'm completely fine."
"Are you sure? Where are you?"
"I'm…" he trailed off, unable to form a sentence.
This was the part Issei had been dreading.
He'd never been a good liar, especially not with his parents.
But he couldn't just tell them what had happened, could he?
"Son, whatever it is, you can tell us," said his mother, almost pleading.
"I…" he wanted to tell them. He really did.
But where to start?
Meeting Tsubasa?
The subway?
Saving Kiss-Shot?
...saving Kiss-Shot?
Right then, it hit him like a ton of bricks.
He had been ready to die for Kiss-Shot's sake when he'd found her in the subway, and he hadn't thought about it at the time- but what would they have thought about him carelessly tossing his life away to save hers?
How would his mother have reacted? His father? How long would it have taken to find his corpse?
Would there have even been one?
Would-
"Issei, please say something!"
Issei let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding as his mom's nearly-frantic voice sliced his thoughts to ribbons. He was swiftly returned to reality- he hadn't been killed, his life wasn't over, and his parents were waiting for him to talk.
"Mom, Dad- seriously, I'm fine. I'm sorry for making you worry, but it's just- I got roped into some stuff and I'm staying at a friend's place for a bit," he explained, trying to be as vague as possible.
It didn't really work.
"A friend's place?" his father asked, tentatively believing what Issei was saying, or rather, wanting to believe.
"Yeah," Issei swallowed hard. "A friend's place."
He could tell from the brief bit of pause that his parents didn't believe a word of it, but what else could he say? He was taking up refuge with a vampire in an abandoned school? Not likely.
"Alright," Miki began, "You don't have to tell us. But just- just come home soon, okay?"
His mother's blatant disbelief nearly broke his heart.
Unfortunately, what he had to say next wasn't any easier.
"I can't," Issei replied, fighting to keep his voice from cracking.
There was yet another pause.
"W-what?" his mother finally choked out.
"I can't come home yet. My- my friend needs my help."
His parents were dead silent for a moment, as if they couldn't even fathom what he was saying.
"I promise I won't be gone long!" he quickly added, trying to ease the burden of what he was saying. "I just need...a week. Maybe two."
"Two weeks?!" his father exclaimed. "Why do you need to be at a 'friend's house' for two weeks?" he continued, his voice starting to sound a bit accusatory. "What kind of friend-"
"She's hurt really bad," Issei blurted out without thinking. He instantly covered his mouth with his free hand, as if it would rewind time and stop him from saying something like that.
"...she?" his mother asked, quiet. "You're with a girl?"
"I...yeah. Her name is Rola," Issei said, defaulting to the name Kiss-Shot had given him when she'd tricked him into thinking she was a kid.
"Rola? And this Rola is hurt?" his father asked.
"Yeah. Really, really bad. She doesn't have any family either, so she's pretty much using me as her arms and legs for now…"
There was another pause, but this one didn't really sound as bad as the others. He could hear his parents talking in the background, but couldn't make out quite what they were saying- they didn't sound worried anymore, though.
"Well...if she's really that bad off," his mother finally spoke up, "Then I guess you should help her out. It is spring break, after all…"
'Wait, what?'
She'd changed her tune that fast?
"Mhm, I guess if our boy's helping out his lady friend with her, uh, arms and legs, we can't really do anything about it," his father agreed.
'Did they give up?!'
Issei was beyond confused. They'd been almost on the verge of outright tears the entire time, and now they sounded completely okay with him being gone?
Just because he'd mentioned a girl?!
He'd be upset if it weren't so stupid!
"Issei, dear," Miki said, commanding his attention once more.
"Please be careful, okay? I don't know what you've got yourself wrapped up in, but please be safe," his mother, putting all silliness aside, expressed one last bit of genuine worry.
"And I expect to see this Rola at some point, understand?" his father added.
Issei laughed.
"Alright," he replied. "I'll bring her by when I come home. I love you guys."
"We love you too," his parents replied in unison.
After just another lingering moment, Issei hung up.
Pursing his lips in silent contemplation, he slid his phone back into his pocket and silently stared out at the Kuoh nightlife.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to him, his master watched silently from far behind. She'd heard every word, of course, from both he and his family.
Something about how close they acted struck an odd chord with Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade, and she found herself feeling...wistful. She had been far from close with her own family, and they had been dead for a very, very long time.
"Ahem," Kiss-Shot spoke up, ignoring her odd emotions.
Issei turned back with a start, not thinking anyone was there.
"'Tis almost time for ye to battle Dramaturgy," she announced in a grave voice. "Prepare thyself."
Issei strode with purpose, eager to win back the right leg of his master. The fight was declared to happen at a set location, and it was one Issei knew well-
Kuoh Academy.
As he walked along, he found himself in a quiet part of town somewhere near a park, and he trode on a sidewalk that sat just above a shallow grassy ditch. There were no buildings nearby, just a smattering of trees.
The walk from the Cram School to Kuoh Academy wasn't a long one, just about twenty minutes at a brisk pace, but it gave him more than enough time to reflect and plan.
Or at least, it would've, had he not been kicked in the face five minutes into it.
"You tried to romance the vampire, didn't you?!"
That yell had been his only warning before his face became the recipient of an athletic shoe moving fast enough to break the local speed limit.
The kick sent him sprawling into the ditch, and he felt bones in his nose crack as he hit the ground. Issei got up, holding his hurt nose and glaring angrily at the offender-
Tsubasa Yura.
She looked completely unapologetic, smirking at him without an ounce of shame.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?! You broke my nose," Issei yelled at her from inside the ditch.
"Did I? Right on!"
Tsubasa pumped her fist, excited.
Issei was appalled. He assumed, being that she immediately attacked him and said what she said, she knew his 'secret'.
"What would you have done if I wasn't immortal?!"
"Probably given you a lap pillow till you stopped crying," she replied, shrugging.
Issei immediately fell to his knees in anguish.
"Why do I have to be a vampire~," he moaned, nearly moved to tears at the missed opportunity.
"So, you wanna tell me why you're a dead man walking? I thought we agreed you'd run from the vampire, not become one."
Tsubasa extended her hand from the sidewalk, helping Issei back up out of the ditch.
"It's kind of a long story," he replied, feeling just a little tempted to throw her into it as payback for breaking his nose.
It was already healed, though, so he didn't act on his little revenge fantasy.
"Well, I'm all ears."
"You're an idiot."
"That's harsh..."
"Don't 'that's harsh' me! I should kick you again!"
Tsubasa legitimately could not believe what Issei had told her.
He, a human, had stuck his neck out- literally- for a vampire.
Such a thing was not only unheard of, it was against the natural order.
He'd saved the life of his natural predator.
"Why the hell would you save a vampire's life?!"
"I couldn't just let her die! She had the greatest rack I've ever seen~!" Issei yelled, a stupid grin and blush on his face as he remembered Kiss-Shot's pre-loli form.
With that moronic answer, Tsubasa went to kick him again- this time, however, Issei was ready, and grabbed her right leg at the ankle just before she made contact with his face.
"Ha! Caught you this ti-"
He was cut off as Tsubasa pivoted into a complicated looking spin and kicked him even harder than the first time with her other leg, sending him right back into the ditch.
"Argh- you know what-?" Issei groaned, picking himself up out of the grass.
"Hm?" Tsubasa hummed, as if she hadn't just hit him with a move that would've dropped most MMA fighters.
"The joke's on you- I can see under your skirt from here!" he exclaimed, his crimson eyes sharpening.
"Joke's on you, Hyoudou. I wore spats this time," Tsubasa replied with a grin, unashamedly lifting up her skirt to reveal her athletic shorts underneath.
"Joke's on you again- your thighs are more than enough for me!"
"..."
"..."
A cold wind blew by while they stared at each other, neither saying anything.
Tsubasa put her skirt down, staring at Issei like she'd stepped in something disgusting.
"You're so weird, dude."
"Leave me alone~..."
"Okay, so- let me get this straight. Not only did you save her life, you're also trying to restore this vampire to full power?"
"Yup."
"And you're headed to fight a vampire hunter right now."
"Uh huh."
"As a vampire."
"That pretty much sums it up, yeah."
Tsubasa sighed.
"Alright, look. I can't help but feel a little responsible for this, so I'm gonna help you out and not beat the shit outta you for being my natural predator."
"Gee, thanks."
"Don't mention it. Anyway, tell me why I shouldn't stop you?"
"Stop me?"
"Uh, yeah. You're trying to bring a vampire back to full power, right? For those of us who identify as 'a vampire's main food source' that's a little dangerous."
"What, seriously? You're not worried I'm gonna suck your blood, are you?"
"Honestly, I was worried you'd try to suck my blood even before you became a vampire."
"I-! Yeah, that's fair. Hey, how'd you know I was a vampire, anyway?"
Without saying anything, Tsubasa pointed at his shadow- or rather, his lack thereof. They were walking side by side on a sidewalk, and plenty of streetlights lined the area. Tsubasa had a clear and defined shadow, while he had none at all.
"Oh. Touché."
"Plus, you're like, kinda muscular now. I almost didn't recognize you at first. You were totally scrawny the other day. I'm kinda jealous…"
"Oh, yeah. I guess so, huh?"
Issei didn't really pay too much attention to it, but he was most certainly a lot more built than he had been before. He wasn't overly muscled, like some kind of bodybuilder, but rather more lean- like a professional swimmer, almost.
"Well, that's cool and all, but can you fight?"
"Huh?"
"Can you fight? I could've kicked your ass earlier."
"I mean, I'm pretty strong now. I punched down a concrete wall earlier."
"You're physically strong, sure, but so is the dude you're going up against. You said he's a vampire too, right?"
"Yeah. His name's Dramaturgy, and he's built like a truck."
When Issei said it out loud, he realized how stacked against him the odds were. He'd been planning to rely on his physical strength as a vampire, but- Dramaturgy was probably the same as he was, if not stronger. Plus, he had those two swords!
"And you think you're gonna beat him just by being strong? Not likely," Tsubasa chided, shaking her head.
"Well, it's not like I have a better choice. I'm supposed to have all these vampire skills and shit, but Kiss-Shot doesn't remember how to teach them to me."
"Really? What kind?"
"She used electricity really easily, but I couldn't figure it out. Being strong and regenerating is pretty much all I got...I think."
"Isn't that pretty bare minimum for a vampire?"
"Is it? I dunno. Aren't you the expert here?"
"What, are you kidding me? I exorcise small time stuff, ghosts that just cause minor problems. I've never even seen a vampire," she laughed. "Before you, that is."
"Wait, do you actually fight ghosts?!"
"If you're about to tell me you don't believe that after literally becoming something out of the Twilight Zone, I'm gonna kick your ass."
"Alright, alright, geez. Well, don't you know some tricks or something to win fights, then?"
"I know a ton of martial arts, but I dunno how much that'll help you. Aren't you going to fight this guy, like- right now? Not really a lot of time to teach you."
"I- oh. Yeah, I guess so, huh? Oh man, I'm kinda nervous…"
"I wouldn't stress about it. He's only a specialist with years of experience in hunting people exactly like you. No biggie."
Issei stared dumbfounded at Tsubasa.
"Oh, did I say that out loud? Whoopsie," she said, sticking her tongue out and playfully hitting her head.
Issei didn't reply, he just sighed and kept walking. He wasn't really feeling pumped about his odds to begin with, and she most certainly hadn't made it better.
They were almost to Kuoh now, with less than a minute until they'd reach the gates.
"So...any last minute words of wisdom?" Issei asked, trying not to let how nervous he was show on his face.
"Hmm...you regenerate really fast. You can probably abuse that. Still gonna hurt, though," Tsubasa replied, holding her chin while she mused. She'd thrown away her devil-may-care attitude in favor of actually helping her friend, which surprised Issei just a little.
"But won't he regenerate too?"
"Honestly? I'm not really sure. Regeneration like yours is really rare amongst monsters, I know that much. He may regenerate, he may not. If you're lucky, he won't."
Once again, Issei stayed silent. He was very on edge, nervous as all hell about the coming battle. He realized that it'll be the first time he's ever really fought anyone seriously, and the thought scared him.
"Hey, Hyoudou?"
"Yeah?"
They had finally reached the gate, and Tsubasa stopped before going inside. Issei turned around to face her, wondering why she sounded so concerned.
"You're, uh… you're gonna go back to being human, right?" she asked quietly, worry written all over her normally nonchalant face.
"Why does everybody keep asking me that?" he asked with an exasperated sigh. "What's so bad about being a vampire? Being a human sucks balls."
"Just wondering, I guess," she said, dismissively waving her hand. Her expression turned serious, and she sighed. "Well, you better get in there."
"Uh, yeah, I guess. Catch ya later."
With that rather awkward farewell, Issei turned away from her and continued onto Kuoh's grounds. If Kiss-Shot's instructions from Oshino were to be believed, Dramaturgy would be waiting for him behind the school, where there was a big open field.
Once he defeated Dramaturgy, he'd be one limb closer to restoring Kiss-Shot, and getting back to his parents.
Psyching himself up, he began to jog instead of walk.
After all, hadn't Kiss-Shot said it would be easy to beat them one at a time?
Time to find out.
May 1st, late at night
"So if I wanna have my own servants, I have to become a high-ranking devil."
"Hm? I suppose that is what the red headed devil said, aye."
After Rias and the rest of the peerage, set about cleaning up the stray devil, Issei was instructed to go about his normal devil business- that is, delivering flyers and responding to summons.
So he found himself on his bike yet again, traveling down a residential Kuoh street on his way to a devil summoner's house.
Shinobu sat in his basket, once more in the form of a little girl in a white sundress.
As Issei pedaled along, the two of them converted as normal.
"And you don't have any problems with that?"
"With ye becoming a high ranking devil? 'Tis a waste of time, methinks, but I suppose there are worse ways to spend eternity."
"I kinda meant the servants."
"Oh. Hmph. Thou art as insatiable as ever. Of course, thy dream is to have a harem, so I shall support thee."
She certainly didn't sound happy about it, though.
"Right on! You're the best!"
Far be it from Issei to notice that, though.
"In any case, thou art simply a pawn at the moment. A lowly servant, as ye once were to myself, kaka!"
"Ugh, I know. Why couldn't I have just been born royalty, like Rias?"
"'Tis not as great as it seems, I assure ye."
"Being born royalty?"
"Aye."
"Uh, not to sound like a douche-canoe, but how would you know?"
"Did not I tell ye? Many lifetimes ago, I was something of a noble myself."
"Whoa, really?"
"Dost thou listen to nary a word I say? Indeed, I was once a woman of high-status."
"I mean, it makes sense. You're definitely cocky enough to be a princess," Issei grumbled, not exactly shocked at her revelation.
"Kaka! Thou may have some brain in that head of yours yet. Indeed, in another time I was a princess."
"Seriously? I was just kidding…"
"Aye. As I said, 'twas not an enjoyable life. I far prefer the current state of things," she said quietly.
"What was wrong with being a princess? That sounds cool as hell, to me."
Shinobu was silent for a moment, thinking back to her life many hundreds of years ago. It wasn't something she'd ever talked about, and she didn't really know what to say.
So, she changed the subject.
"Think not of it. In any case, if thou truly seek to become a high-class devil, it seems ye shall have to rise from the very bottom of their annoyingly bureaucratic society. Of course, thou could also simply announce my servitude to ye, and thou would likely become a noble in a matter of days."
"Yeah, well, wouldn't that be cheating? Plus, I think vampire hunters would start chasing us again, and that would suck balls…"
"Kaka! I suppose so. Though it is feeble and adorable, 'tis also somewhat admirable- thy desire to climb the ranks, that is."
"You think so?"
"Perhaps. Even if thou art a cretin beyond compare, thou art a hard-working one at that."
"Gee, thanks," he growled, somehow unable to accept the compliment after being called a cretin.
"Let not thy dissatisfaction stain thy face, my master. 'Tis most enjoyable, watching ye crawl around like a babe on jobs for thy new owner."
"How is that even relevant? You just wanna to insult me again!"
"In my defense, ye make it so simple."
"Is that supposed to be a good thing?!"
Naturally, the two ended up bickering all the way to their destination.
Upon their arrival, they found themselves outside an average one-story house with a neat fence. Issei parked his bike near the gate to the fence, with Shinobu deftly flipping out of the basket to stand beside him.
Something felt a little bit strange about the atmosphere around them, and the front door of the house was wide open. A pleasant smell Issei vaguely recognized but couldn't place filled the air.
"Something is wrong," Shinobu suddenly said, inhaling deeply. "The air is thick with blood."
"Blood?" Issei remarked, suddenly a little guilty that he thought it had smelled good.
In his defense, he was a full vampire at the moment.
He turned to face Shinobu to see what she was talking about, and she was already back in her adult form, wearing her signature black and red dress.
"I smell three people inside that house, one of them slain. One of them is...hoh? The sister from this morning," she said with a grim smile. "Mayhaps I was right about her after all."
"Asia? Are you sure? Why would she be here?" Issei questioned, looking up at Shinobu in disbelief.
"I know not. Be on thy guard, my master."
Issei thoroughly expected Shinobu to go inside his shadow, but she simply stayed a step behind him as he opened the door to the house.
"I'm coming inside, so whoever's in there, don't freak out~..." Issei announced as he walked inside.
"Hast thou no regard for the element of surprise?" Shinou muttered disapprovingly, not bothering to close the door behind them.
As the two of them entered the main room, it became startlingly clear something was very wrong. Though not a single light was on, Issei's vampiric eyes revealed that a large pool of blood stained the floor, and a horrifically dismembered corpse lay a meter away from them.
"H-holy shit-" Issei mumbled, about to be sick. He'd only seen a corpse in such a state once before, and it had rattled him that much then too.
Shinobu, of course, wasn't phased in the slightest. Her attention was on something else entirely- a couch on the other side of the room, on top of which sat a white-haired man in priestly robes. He was staring at a candle on a coffee table in front of him, not even reacting to the intruders.
"Punish the wicked. Words to live by," the man suddenly said, catching Issei's attention. "Wise advice from an exorcist, don't you think?"
Shinobu vaguely considered just killing him with any number of vampiric abilities, but she also wanted to see if her master could handle the situation himself.
Issei, on the other hand, was starting to get a little scared. This dude was giving him some seriously bad vibes, and if he had anything to do with the corpse on the ground that meant he was seriously unhinged.
"That is to say~," The man cooed, standing up from the couch. "You just walked into the wrong house, my friend."
Upon the man's face was a crazed and wicked grin, and his eyes were as red as Issei's.
"Freed Sellzen, at your service," he said, dropping into a mocking bow. "And you must be the little devil pussy this holy priest is gonna exorcise!"
Of all things, Freed did a little dance as he unclipped two objects from his belt. One, a sword made of pure white light, the other, a large silver handgun.
"And aren't you a fine piece of ass? I don't know if I've ever seen a devil woman quite as heavenly as yourself~," Freed moaned, creepily eyeing up Shinobu.
In the man's defense, he had no idea who had just walked in the room.
So, it was a surprise to him when no more than a millisecond later, Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade had picked him up by the throat.
Her plan had been to see if Issei could handle the situation, but then this insect had to go and make an unpleasant comment.
"I wasn't aware trash could talk," the vampiress sneered, hoisting Freed up over her head with a single arm. The exorcist kicked and struggled against her iron grip, but was woefully incapable of budging even so much as one of her fingers.
So, in response, he held up his handgun and fired right into the top of her head.
Four shots went through her skull one after another.
Not only did she not drop dead, she didn't even flinch.
Her golden eyes flashed with amusement as the bullet wounds healed in mere instants.
Now very afraid, Freed stopped shooting the gun and swung his light-sword at her face, aiming for a decapitation.
She caught the blade with her teeth.
With a single bite, she shattered the blade of light like it was made of glass.
Freed's weapons fell to the ground as he stared at her, dumbfounded.
"Holy shit, you're hardcore," Issei mumbled as he gawked in awe. He'd seen her heal from grievous injuries before, some of them from himself, but damn.
"Should I kill him? He is thy enemy," Shinobu growled, tightening her grip around the priest's throat and making him squirm harder.
Issei couldn't come up with an answer right away. Freed had just threatened his life and made that comment about Shinobu, (which made him far angrier than he cared to admit) not to mention murdering the person who lived here.
"Why...why did you kill this guy?" Issei finally asked after a moment of contemplation. "He wasn't a devil!"
Shinobu loosened her grip just enough for Freed to suck in a breath, gasping deeply as his windpipe was released.
"Because he was a filthy sinner-!" Freed choked out, "He deserved to be flayed like the devil worshipping dog he was! Just like you! Just like this stupid bitch-"
There was a sickening crack, and Freed's head slumped to the side. Shinobu tossed his body to the ground, on top of the couch he'd been in when they arrived.
"I apologize, my master. Though there is something to be said for sticking to his morals even in the face of death, 'twas more than I could bear to listen to the musings of a rat," Shinobu said, not sounding particularly sorry as she wiped her hand off on her crimson dress.
"Yeah, I'd heard enough too…" Issei mumbled, somehow not upset by the death of such a vile man.
A couple months ago, someone dying in front of him would've brought Issei Hyoudou to his knees, but now- it wasn't really a big deal.
Being attached at the hip to a super-predator tends to have that effect.
He briefly wondered what they should do, since the devil job was botched and Shinobu had just murdered a priest, but he didn't get too much time to think about it.
"Mister Freed? I heard a noise-"
Asia Argento had never in her life seen anything to prepare her for what she just saw.
She left the kitchen, aiming to tell Freed about having placed the barrier he asked for, and she came face-to-face with something out of a nightmare.
A ripped apart corpse in the corner, and Freed's body on the couch with his head twisted at a horrific angle.
A blonde woman stood above his body, staring at Asia, and beside her was-
"...Issei?"
The poor nun fell to her knees, a silent scream on her face.
"Asia?" Issei dumbly replied, not having believed Shinobu's nose until this very moment.
Shinobu, mildly frustrated that such a situation had come to pass, wondered what would happen. Would this girl, who her master had taken a liking to, assume he was a murderer who had killed the priest and the former resident?
As amusing as the thought was, she didn't want him to be the subject of such an annoying misunderstanding.
So, with a roll of her eyes and a light sigh, Shinobu turned to Issei.
"And thou wilt be next, boy!" she suddenly shouted, going for a remarkably slow two-handed grab at Issei's throat.
Issei caught both of her hands, not really understanding what she was doing.
"What the hell are you-?"
Shinbou gestured with her eyes to the girl staring at them in the corner, and Issei realized the situation they were in made him look rather...criminal.
Then, he finally caught on.
"Oh...uh...run away, Asia! This chick is dangerous! I'll hold her off!"
Issei yelled at his friend, rather half-heartedly holding Shinobu at bay.
"Thou wilt owe me for this," she said quietly, straining against Issei's grip.
"I know, I know," he replied.
Issei and Shinobu pushed against each other's hands, looking like they were locked in an intense test of strength, while Asia gawked in the corner.
"What's going on…?" she meekly asked, unable to comprehend what was happening. Why was the owner of the house dead? Why was Freed dead? Why was Issei here? Who is this blonde woman?
"This lady's a vampire! You gotta run!" he yelled, a little more sincere this time.
After all, he wasn't exactly lying.
"A vampire?!" she squealed.
"That's right!" Shinobu declared. Rather than pushing against Issei, she grabbed his hands and pulled him forward towards her, then kicked him in the chest.
The kick, while by no means at even a tenth of her full power, was more than enough to send him flying.
Issei went through two walls and ended up in a bathroom, groaning as he stood up from the rubble. He healed instantly, of course, but the pain was still there.
A normal person might see that as a blatant attack, but Issei had been with the vampire long enough to know that outrageous physical violence was her idea of 'playing', for some reason.
Shinobu, on the other hand, satisfied that the little girl now believed they were truly enemies and that her master had been adequately punished for his perversity earlier that morning, turned towards Asia.
"And I shall devour thee whole, sister," the vampiress proclaimed with a dark grin, walking towards her slowly.
"Not on my watch, bloodsucker!" Issei yelled pitifully, leaping back through the hole in the wall.
Waiting patiently for his counterattack, Shinbou rolled her eyes. Her master wasn't much of an actor.
Issei tackled her to the ground, then looked up at Asia, who was still staring in terror.
"Run away! I've got this," he yelled to her, holding Shinobu down face-up on the ground.
Asia, finally getting the message, turned and fled. She screamed her head off the whole way out, making Issei feel a little bad for tricking her.
After she was gone, he simply stayed still for a moment, wondering if he'd done the right thing.
"Just how long dost thou plan to lie atop me, milord?" Shinobu suddenly asked, breaking his concentration.
"Oh, sorry," he meekly apologized, getting up off of her and extending a hand to help her up. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked after she was up, looking a little guilty.
"Thou couldn't hurt me if ye tried," she replied, daintily dusting off her immaculate red dress. "Contrarily, I hope my kick hurt quite a lot."
"Uh, yeah, it did. Did you forget you were wearing heels?" he retorted, holding his chest as if his damaged organs hadn't already healed.
"Kaka! What is the expression? 'Beauty hurts'?"
"I don't think that's what it means!"
"It matters not. I wonder if the sister will realize our battle was naught but a farce."
To that, Issei sighed. He really hadn't expected Asia to actually be there when Shinobu smelled her, but he supposed she wasn't one to lie. He just hoped the nun didn't think he was a murderer.
"My master… a question."
Shinobu's voice was apprehensive, like she didn't quite know how to ask what she wanted to ask.
"Huh? What's up?"
"Art thou...hungry?"
Shinbou pointed at the mutilated body of Freed's victim.
"You can't be serious," he mumbled, incredulous.
"This house smells of no one but that person. They have no family. They have no friends. The body will not be found before it rots. They are already dead. 'Twould be a waste to leave them like this," Shinbou said quietly, softly petting Issei's hair.
He pushed her hand off him.
"I'm not eating a human, Shinobu. Ever," he replied, resolute. "I understand what you're saying, and I won't stop you from doing it, but I just… I can't."
"Very well," she replied, quiet. She knew that's what he'd say long before she ever asked, but she couldn't stop herself from trying. "Then go back to thy master. I shall dispose of them and return to you," she declared, her voice returning to its normal arrogant tone.
Without another word, he turned to leave. On his way out, Issei cast one more glance towards where Asia had fled to.
He sighed, then closed the door behind him as he left.
Shinobu watched him go, then let out a small sigh herself.
Why couldn't he just understand how she felt?
If he just ate someone once- that disgust, that guilt, it would disappear! He could live forever by her side-
Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade shook her head, dismissing her selfish thoughts. She had already ruined his life for her own sake twice now. She wouldn't do it again.
"An exorcist?!" Rias Gremory exclaimed.
Issei had made his way back to the ORC, finding it empty except for his King. He'd explained to her how he'd gone to the house the summoning request had been at, only to find the recipient dead and an exorcist inside.
He'd left out the part about Asia, of course.
"Yeah. Said his name was Freed something or another," Issei explained with a somber expression. "Shinobu killed him, though, so it's fine."
"Issei...I had no idea I sent you into such danger. I'm sorry," she replied, guilt all over her face. She stood up from her desk, taking a place beside Issei on the couch.
"Oh, no, it's all good- president?!"
Rias had interrupted him mid-sentence by gently pulling his head into her chest. He didn't respond, too shocked by the action to even say anything.
"It's not all good. I never should've sent you somewhere like that with the fallen angels crawling about. Please forgive me, Issei," she said, softly stroking his hair in an attempt to comfort him.
"Prez…" Issei couldn't find any words to say, staring up at Rias like she was an angel. He'd only seen her mad at him so far, so this was quite the improvement.
Pulling back from him, Rias smiled as she stood up.
"Everyone else is already gone. Why don't you head home for the night and get some rest?"
"Uh...yeah. I'll do that. Thanks," he mumbled, still a little shocked at her sudden intimacy.
On his way out, Rias stopped him with one more question.
"By the way, where's Miss Shinobu?"
Issei halted in his tracks.
"...She's eating," he replied, hoping Rias wouldn't be mad.
"Oh, okay. Just wondering. Goodnight~," she said with a bright smile, waving at him as he left.
On his way out, he briefly wondered how she could be so nonchalant about Shinobu literally eating people, but he supposed it simply had to do with morals being a lot looser for devils, and that was something he was completely okay with.
"You know," Issei said as he walked into his bedroom, flicking the light switch on, "one of these days, my mom is gonna be doing laundry or something and come in here. She's gonna see this giant freakin' bed, and then it'll be my ass."
Naturally, he was speaking to his other half, who had made it to his home far before he had.
Shinobu groaned in response, laying facedown on Issei's giant four-poster bed that she'd created. She pulled the sheets over her eyes, annoyed at the light.
Issei unconsciously swallowed hard, trying and failing to avert his eyes from the smoking hot blonde woman currently laying in his bed. The back of her torso was uncovered, and her waist and legs were covered only by a thin sheet- that is to say, Issei had a bird's eye view of a perfect outline of her backside.
He was normally a boob man, but if there was ever an ass to make him switch teams- damn.
He'd thought that maybe after living with her attached to him for a long enough time, he'd stop being surprised at just how insanely attractive she was, but no.
She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his entire life, and it made his life- among other things- really hard sometimes.
"If thou art going to fantasize about me, at least have the good courtesy to do it while I slumber," Shinobu mumbled into the bed. "Although perhaps that also is less than ideal, given thy tendency to… partake," she added, lifting her head just enough to glare daggers at him.
She was, of course, referring to the incident earlier that morning where he'd ended up on top of her.
Tearing his gaze away from her, Issei sat down at his desk and opened his laptop. He had just a bit of homework to complete before the night was through, which was why he'd turned the lights on at all instead of simply flopping into bed.
"Maybe don't sleep half-naked in my bed," he mumbled in return, blushing at the memory.
She had been so warm and soft, it was unlike anything he'd ever experienced.
A little blood dribbled out of his nose at the mere thought.
Ignoring the fact that she could clearly hear his perverted musings about her, Shinobu retorted.
"Hmph. Ye simply refuse to acknowledge the blessings I bestow thee. Rather than sleeping in 'thy bed' I am allowing ye the chance to lay next to me, ingrate. Cherish it."
"Oh, believe me, I do," he replied, a dopey grin on his face.
There was a moment of silence as they both considered what he'd just said.
Once it finally clicked, they both blushed. Issei buried himself in whatever he was doing on his computer while Shinobu put her face down in a pillow, not looking at him.
"Thou art truly a miserable pervert," she said, annoyed for the thirtieth time that day.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he mumbled in response, typing away at something.
Neither of them mentioned the elephant in the room- that is to say, that she had just eaten a human. Neither wanted to open that particular discussion again, and that was fine with both of them.
So, for a bit, they sat in a companionable silence.
Then, however, an odd thought struck Issei.
"Hey, come to think of it- you never slept in my bed before I… well, before the devil stuff. What's with the sudden change of heart?" he asked, glancing back at her.
Shinobu was silent for a moment. She couldn't decide whether to simply deflect the question or to answer it truthfully- but after a moment, she concluded she owed him at least that much.
"Recall what happened last time I slept in thy shadow," she said, softly.
He had died, of course.
He was murdered in cold blood.
All while she snoozed away in his shadow.
He didn't blame her at all, of course, but that would never stop her from blaming herself.
"Oh… yeah, I was wondering if that had something to do with it," he said, sheepishly rubbing his head. "Well, if you're that worried about me, I'm really fine. You don't have to go as far as to sleep in a bed with me just for my sake-"
"'Tis not for thy sake," she interrupted him, "...'tis for mine."
Issei stared blankly, not really getting what she meant.
She didn't respond right away, but after a moment of his confusion, she cracked.
"Truth be told... I sleep fitfully, unless I am assured thou art safe. The only way to do that, of course, is to simply… hold thee within my own arms," she muttered, unable to look up at him.
It took Issei a second to get quite what she was saying, but he eventually did.
"Wait, really? That's kinda cute," he replied, chuckling a bit.
The reason she'd started sleeping in his bed is because she couldn't rest unless she knew he was safe, and he found that endlessly adorable.
"Hmph. Call it what you will," she grumbled into his pillow, trying to hide her blush, "but hurry and finish that drivel so I can rest."
Issei laughed.
"Sure thing."
Did you like it? This is where we really depart from canon, both in the prequel and in the main storyline.
Couple things about this chapter:
1: In canon Monogatari, Kiss-Shot never has a reason to begin teaching Araragi vampire skills because he immediately declares his desire to transform back into a human. In Akuma, however, Issei has no such hangups. So, naturally, she'll tutor him. I'm taking a bit of a creative liberty with her vampire skills, of course, cus she's pretty much got them all. (No, that's not a joke. Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heartunderblade, in her canon, is stated to be able to do pretty much anything she wants.)
2: Why does Issei have such a heartfelt conversation with his parents? Well, unlike most anime protagonists, Issei Hyoudou actually has a really good relationship with his parents. That'll be a big plot point in the prequel storyline, so keep it in mind.
3: What's the deal with Tsubasa? It'll get explained, I promise.
4: Where is Ddraig? Why isn't Issei using the Boosted Gear as much? He doesn't really have to. In canon DxD, that's all his got- here, he has another set of powers that are not only stronger than the BG (at it's current level) but that he's also much more familiar with. We'll get there, I promise. Plus, I've got a neat side story with Kiss-Shot and Ddraig planned.
5: Is this gonna be a harem or not, Belial?! I don't know, I'm sorry! I planned on a harem when I started out, but the Kiss-Shot x Issei is too good! I love it too much~! So yeah, idk on the harem. Still undecided.
That's pretty much all I got. Like normal, I'm open to most suggestions, so just review/pm/join my discord if you wanna tell me something.
Discord link: discord .gg/ fzmTg7n3bd
I think that's about it, folks.
See you next mission!