Not Another Ninja!

Disclaimer (I forgot to put one in the last chapter ;;): If someone were to tell you that I owned Naruto, then you would be able to be sure that it was part of a conspiracy set out to kill us all. So you don't have to worry about that, let it be known that Naruto does not belong to Leah.

A/n – Ah, the second chapter. Hooray! I can still add people to the fic, but I need names and descriptions, people! Also, sorry to people who don't have accounts, but I'm no longer allowing anonymous reviews. I don't mind constructive criticism, and I won't kill you if you flame, but, honestly, if you're going to flame me, have the balls to leave a name. It's common courtesy.

A/n – The possible pairings in this chapter will be: NaruxHina (they're so cute!), ShikaxIno, and the usual SakuxSasu. It may contain mild to severe character bashing. Don't be offended, I only bash them 'cause I like them.

And now, without further ado…

Chapter Two – Capture the Flag

"Are we there yet?" Leah and Naruto said simultaneously for the umpteenth time.

"NO!" Sakura yelled, "Stop asking!"

Naruto sighed and shut his mouth, in hopes that Sakura would like him more if he listened to her.

Leah, being a girl and clearly not crushing on Sakura, was not to be swayed. She looked around aimlessly. About thirty seconds later, she said, "How about now?"

Sakura glared daggers at Leah. "Why do you have to be with us?" she asked in despair.

It was now 8 in the morning, 8:03 if you want to be exact, 8:03 and 27 seconds if you're twitchy about those things. 7th group and their new tagalong were walking to the home of their current client. Alas, it was their mission to babysit a little boy named Billy.

"So…" Leah started as an attempt at conversation, "Is it really a good idea to hire ninjas to babysit your children? I wouldn't put it past Naruto to smack the brat halfway across the room!"

Naruto waved his arms around, yelling, "That's not true!"

"Ohh… of course," Sakura drawled, "You'd smack him two thirds of the way across the room."

Three painful hours later, the four ninja and the one author ran away from Billy's house with relief.

"Is it even possible for one little kid to be so evil?" Leah said, rubbing her head which had been so unfortunate as to be the target of Billy's toy shuriken. It was blunt, of course, but still metal, and thus Leah had a large bump on her head. "Forget Naruto's two-thirds. I'd freaking smack him out of a third story window!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "You don't have time to right now." He grinned under his covering. "Now that we're done with the mission, we're going to do some training!"

Leah groaned inwardly. She suddenly gasped a very fake sounding gasp. "Sensei, look behind you!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes again. "Do you really think I'm that gullible?"

Leah continued to look in the direction she had been. "Oh my gosh! I think it's an excerpt from Flirting Paradise: The Movie!"

"REALLY?" Kakashi yelled, and spun to look in the direction Leah pointed. By the time he realized that there were both no hot girls and also no TV screens and turned back around, there was no Leah standing between Naruto and Sakura. "I can't believe I just fell for that."

The next day, the 7th group met at their normal place, but their new member was not there. Even when their sensei arrived an hour later, Leah was nowhere to be seen. This was noticed by all, some with relief, others with, well, relief! "Is she gone?" Sakura asked, "Please tell me she's gone!"

"Aww… do you not like me or something?" said a voice that sounded a lot like Leah's. In fact, it was Leah's! "Not that I should take offense," she added, "Because a girl who wears pink and red together obviously doesn't have much sense!"

"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked, clearly contemplating how incredibly stupid this girl was.

"We're ambushing you!" said another voice. "Isn't that kind of obvious?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and said his first line in this chapter of the fic. "That has got to be the worst attempt at an ambush I've ever seen."

"Ha!" a third voice said, "Writhe in terror, you ugly mushrooms of muddiness!"

"Except for you, of course, Sasuke-kun!" said Leah.

As if on cue, three girls including Leah jumped out of a nearby tree. The first of the two additions was rather short, with long black hair and a giant grin on her face. For the purposes of the fic, the reader shall know that her name was Michelle. The second was taller, with brown hair and a pair of glasses resting on her nose. Again, the reader shall know that her name was Olivia.

"Cower in fear!" Leah said over-exaggeratedly, "We are GROUP 7.5!"

"7.5?" Naruto asked, confused.

"That's seven and a half, Naruto-kun."

"You can't be a group," Sakura told them, "You don't have a teacher!"

"Yeah…" Leah said, sweatdropping, "We're just gonna hang around with you guys until we resolve that…"

Kakashi sighed in resignation. "Then shut up. We're about to start training."

"Ooh!" Leah exclaimed, "We should play a game! We can get all the other groups around and then make it really big!"

Kakashi was not at all hesitant in delivering his response. "No."

"Aww, come on!" Leah said, "It'll be fun!"

"No!"

"We can have a bikini party afterwards!"

"Enticing, but no."

"Umm… Sensei?" Olivia said, "There's just one problem with saying no."

"Yeah," said Michelle, "It's that Leah already told them to come."

"Hey, a little planning ahead never hurts."

Sakura joined in on Kakashi's eye rolling. "Normally planning ahead involves planning for something that is actually likely to happen."

"No, really!" Leah said, "Let's play Capture the Flag or something fun like that!"

A strange look came over Kakashi's face. He rubbed his chin, thinking. "Well… if we changed it up a bit… that could be quite an interesting training exercise."

Leah grinned. "I'll take that as a yes!" She turned to the trees. "Okay, you can come out now!"

Ino blinked in disbelief at Leah, Olivia, and Michelle. "When you asked us to come, I sort of assumed that you had already gotten approval…"

Almost every genin you could imagine was present. Standing in the trees Leah had spoken to were Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Lee, Tenten, Neji, Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari. Hinata was standing in the back, poking her fingers together as her darling stared at the group, which happened to be in her general direction.

"All right, listen up, then!" Kakashi yelled. "To make this game of yours training appropriate, we'll have to change up the rules. I'll explain them to you once we split into teams. I will now pick the team captains."

"Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!" squealed you know who. She pouted when Kakashi didn't answer right away. "It's only fair, the game was my idea!"

Kakashi sighed yet again. "Fine, if it will shut you up." He looked around. "Our other captain will be Uchiha Sasuke."

"SASUKE-KUN!" chorused a large group of fangirls nearby. Sasuke ran and hid behind a tree to escape the rabid fangirlish mob.

"Since Sasuke-kun is hiding behind a tree, does that mean I get to pick first?" Leah asked. Before the ninja could answer, she said, "I pick… Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru sighed. "How troublesome," he muttered. He walked over to stand behind Leah. As he was busy staring at the clouds, he promptly walked into a tree.

Behind this very same tree, our wonderful Sasuke was desperately hoping that the female mob had left. He stepped out, and much to his relief, they had. "All right. I pick Neji."

The team picking went on until the following results were reached: Leah's team consisted of Shikamaru, Olivia, Michelle, Hinata, Naruto, Gaara, Tenten, and Ino; and Sasuke's team consisted of Neji, Sakura, Chouji, Kiba, Shino, Lee, Kankuro, and Temari.

"I will now explain the rules," Kakashi said, and everyone groaned. "Instead of playing Capture the Flag in which you are in a field and the flag is at the opposite end, we will situate each team around a rock formation 'base' at one end of the forest, and have their flags on top of them. While in the normal game you only have to tag an opponent in your territory to 'send them to jail,' in this game you will physically need to capture your opponents and 'escort' them back to your 'jail.' Instead of being tagged by a teammate to be freed, you must physically escape on your own. You may use any method you want to accomplish either of these." He looked around the group. "You may use any weapon you like, as well as any techniques. The only rule is that if a player is killed, the other team is disqualified. The game will not end until one team has both flags together on top of their base."

Lee fidgeted. "So, what happens if you lose?"

Kakashi grinned. "We work in Leah's earlier idea. Whoever loses must wear a bikini for a full day, regardless of whether they are a boy or girl!"

"So, what do you get if you win?" Ino asked.

"The privilege of laughing at the losers' dress code, of course!"

Ino sighed romantically. "We'd better win. I want to see Sasuke in a bikini!"

Kakashi ignored this outburst. "Sasuke's base is on the northern end of the forest by the cliffs. Leah's is at the southern end by the river. When you all arrive at your bases, the game will begin."

A/n - So much for the second installment of "Not Another Ninja!" Next chapter: The actual game! Most likely up tomorrow!