Careless
Category: Anime Fairy Tail
Author: MisZ Anarchy
Language: English
Rating: M
Disclaim – Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima.
Chapter 7 – It felt so right
"Hey, hey, hey when I need to be saved, You're making me strong, you're making me stand" Skillet – Feel Invincible
I look to my phone as I see caller ID showing Lucy. I grunt as I roll over and pull my phone closer, answering it as I go. "Morning." I greet and it's silent for a moment and then she talks.
"Why did you take me home early last night?" she asks and I roll my eyes, she couldn't even start with a simple hello?
"Because." I state as I sit up and look around, knowing full well Lisanna would be at work and our son at her parents.
"Because why, Natsu?" she asks and she really seem upset.
"Because Laxus likes you." I reply and at this she goes quiet for a moment.
"And?" she asks.
"And it would have been wrong." I reply throwing my feet over the edge.
"No, there is nothing between us, I wanted to have sex with you before this nothing between us turned into something." She states and I am a bit caught by surprise by her statement.
"What?" I ask and I know she is rolling her eyes at me right now.
"I know Laxus likes me, I just… I just wanted to do this thing between us… it would have been harder on both of us if I was already in a relationship!" she exclaims and for a moment I am silent, she knew, and she still continued. It made me think that she had planned everything to the smallest detail.
"Maybe we should just stop this." I say, Lucy going silent again.
"Maybe we should." Came her answer. I instantly regret the words that left my mouth. Because I wanted Lucy, I wanted her bad. But if she did get involved with Laxus I couldn't do that to my friend. "Bye." She states and soon the line dies. It seems that I had really upset her but it was the right thing to do.
It would save us all heartbreak in the end. It was better to end everything before it even started.
"He was always there to help her, she always belonged to someone else"Maroon 5 – She will be loved
Lucy acted like I was just another co-worker, she acted like I was Jellal or Gray. And I felt hurt that we stopped everything so abruptly. But we had to. We needed to or more people would have gotten hurt in the end. I sigh and shake my head as I take a drag from my smoke. I watch as she walks past me, not even stopping to speak. It made me sad to think that what we had, had been short lived and that it ended faster than we intended. Not that I think it would have lasted long.
I'm sure after the first time we had sex it would have stopped. I regret stopping what we had in all honestly. I drop my half-smoked cigarette to the floor as I walk behind her. I needed to ensure things were okay between the two of us, I could not handle some awkward silences that lingered when we were in the same room. I couldn't take her not talking to me.
"Lucy" I call out but it seems she doesn't hear me. "Lucy!" I call a bit louder and she finally stops as she turns towards me. We are in the main hall almost at her office.
"Dragneel?" she asks and I look down, she was referring to me by my surname, she was surely still mad at me because it seems I was demoted from being her friend to being her acquaintance.
"Could we talk?" I ask taking a step closer to her and finally stopping a few meters away.
"We are talking right now aren't we?" she asks as she crosses her arms over her chest.
"I'm sorry." I say as I look at her, our eyes meeting for a second. She seems other wisely distracted if you ask me.
"You're forgiven." She replies a bit faster than expected. She looks down again and then I see it, the tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Are you okay?" I ask taking another step closer but she turns away and out of my reach. Her feet continuing to walk, I storm off behind her in an attempt to stop her. "Lucy?" I call and soon we are in her office and I just turn and close the door behind me. We didn't need an audience.
"It's nothing." Lucy states as she sits at her desk, she looks anywhere but at me and the tears just keeps flowing down her cheeks. I take a step closer to her but she raises a hand. "It's nothing." She says more firmly as she looks to me, her eyes meeting mine, even though she was crying, and her eyes puffy, I could see that she was being serious.
I reach for her again but she just furrows her brows at me. "Come on just tell me." I say, carefully taking another step to her. Her eyes follow me and I have no idea how the fuck she can look so deadly and vulnerable at the same time.
"Natsu, just leave." Her voice was in one tone and it sounded deadly. I tilt my head to the side and I continue to study her as she sits there glaring daggers at me. I know for a fact that I wasn't the one who made her cry nor was I the person who infuriated her to the point where she looked about ready to kill. "I'm not fucking joking. Leave." She says and I continue to hold her stare as I stare her down.
"Make me." I say and at this she just huffs a breath like she had given up. She turns in her seat and her eyes look over her table until she sees her phone and then she grabs at it, taking a deep breath as she goes, tears still rolling down her cheeks. "I am not leaving till you tell me what's going on." I say firmly now almost at her.
"It doesn't concern you." She states and at this I shake my head, she was being beyond stubborn. I grab at her wrist, stopping her movement completely as she looks up at me and somehow her gaze has changed from sad to beyond mad as she stares at me. "Let me go." She almost whispers in a deadly tone.
"Lucy, either you tell me what the fuck is going on or I won't let you go nor will I leave this office." I say and she just frowns at me.
She lets a humourless chuckle escape her lips as she looks to me, and she is toying with me as her eyes look over my face searching for a gap to just take a stab at me. "Cute ultimatum Constable. But it won't work on me." She hisses. And I honest to God have no idea what was going on with her because I have never seen her like this before. I tighten my grip to the point where she drops her phone on the table and she looks to me, she was going to break soon, I could see it.
"Just talk to me as your friend." I almost plead. She huffs a breath as she diverts her eyes and then she starts crying again.
"I'm having a human reaction, ok!" She states and I just frown because I just could not wrap my mind around what this was fucking saying or explaining. I place my hand on her cheek and I slightly force her to face me, her eyes looking everywhere beside mine and I can't explain how agitated she was making me feel. "I…"her lip is quivering.
"Tell me, please?" I say in a soft voice and then her eyes finally focus on me. It felt like we connected as I looked into her soul and I saw all her broken pieces shattered and laying in a complete mess. And in a blink of an eyes she pulls in a breath of air and she takes a step back and it felt like that glimpse of her was never actually seen.
She wipes at her eyes, successfully drying them as she moves out of my grip and side steps me. Her movements are fast and almost automatic as she moves towards the door and soon she is outside and the door is closed behind her but I can hear her entering the bathroom as well. I stand there astound looking at the spot where she just was and I could honestly not believe what I saw. In her eyes, I just couldn't fucking comprehend.
I stand there in the middle of her office for a moment which turned into a few because soon the door opens and I shit you not, the girl I saw waltzing into the station so many months ago just came back into this office like nothing fucking happened. Not a hair out of place, not even a smudge to show that tears rolled down her cheeks moments ago. I can see those eyes slightly swollen but no signs that they are red. Maybe her make-up game was on point. She gives me a soft smile.
I almost felt like I was getting whiplash from how her mood changed just now. I frown and I look to her and I question what is going on. "Lucy?"
Her smile widens as she looks to me and she moves closer. "It's ok." She says and then she tilts her head to the side before she takes a step closer and then she lazily wraps one arm around me in one of her half ass-ing hugs. I'm frozen at her action for a second before I warmed into the hug and I wrap my arms around her pulling her completely against me. It felt like home. She felt like home. But never have I ever seen this girl in such a state and surprisingly I might never again.
"I will fight, I will fight for you, I always do until my heart is black and blue"Andy Grammer – Don't give up on me
After that day I almost never saw Lucy sad again. Yes she expressed happiness with her beautiful smile, she expressed irritation with the simple roll of her eyes, anger with the frown creases on her forehead and so many more but I didn't ever witness sadness. It was like it would be the first and last time that I ever see her bear her sadness to the world.
I watch as she walks towards our office. A cool winter breeze kissing her hair as it blows lightly into different directions. It's been a week or so since I saw her in her crying state. Since then I have not witness any more tears rolling down her cheeks. When I saw her she would smile, and it was the true Lucy smile that we knew and loved. It was like that day had never happened in the first place. The incident itself had not happened.
I could hear her footsteps coming closer and closer as I waited for her in the office, watching her through the window. It was Wednesday, the support personnel could wear jeans. She was sporting this black skinny jean with some pumps and a beautiful top. She always dressed to kill. As soon as she enters the door to our office I grab for her wrist and stop her in her step. She looks a bit surprised as she stares down at me, like I caught her completely off guard.
"Hey Luce." I greet and her eyes remain on mine as she looks down to my sitting form.
"Hey… Natsu…"she hesitantly say. Most of the people were out at the moment, I knew Laxus and Jellal were out patrolling. I was posted with Gray today and he came in to complete some documents at Human Resources. In the past week, I had contemplated a lot of things. And one was letting my self-control slip with this girl. She drove me weak and I find myself deciding to stay away only too long for her even more every time I see her.
"How are you?" I say as I touch her wrist where I had grabbed her. And I let my fingers play over her soft skin. She was becoming like a drug and my resistance was deteriorating.
She looks down to my hand and a soft smile is on her lips.
"I'm okay, how are you?" she asks as she diverts her eyes to mine. My resolve could not keep up with my mind. I knew I shouldn't and note there was more than one reason not to have any relations with this woman, but they were nil and void.
I steady myself somewhat in my seat before I pull at her, catching her off guard, as she stumbles forward and into my lap. Her eyes snap up as she looks at me, they are full of wonder as she stares at me but she makes no effort to move. "I'm sorry." I tell her as I place my other arm behind her back to support her more and have her lean against me.
"For what?" she asks and she was playing dumb because she knew what I was sorry for.
"You know, the righteous voice in my mind tells me this is wrong, but I can't help myself because what we have and what it is leading up to, I still want it. I'm at a point where I'm not going to listen to reason, because I want this so badly." I say slightly moving closer to her. Her eyes go wide as realization sets in. Was she even going to consider my apology and give me a second chance? The worst answer I could get was a no, and I felt like that was reason to not do this when knowing I am married or that my best friend is in love with her.
She inches a bit closer, her eyes meeting mine. "Natsu will you honestly be okay doing this even with what's at stake? I'm worried you might regret it and your conscious would end up eating you alive." She says and she is completely serious as she continues to speak.
"You talk like this will only affect me. What about you?" I ask and I was concerned about her and how she would end up feeling if we did do this.
"What about me?" she asks placing her hand behind my neck, letting her fingers play with the ends of my hair. "Natsu, don't worry about me. I know full well what to expect going into this. And believe me it won't end up eating me whole when it comes to an end. Guilt is not my enemy. And I don't regret anything that I have ever done." She states. I blink my eyes and stare at her because I don't buy it. I don't buy this one bit. She will end up feeling guilty, and I am sure we both were human and this urge and need that needs satisfying will end up playing on our conscious.
"How is that even possible?" I ask.
"I don't regret anything in my life, because at that time and place it was exactly what I wanted." She replies inching closer. "But also know if you want out I will understand and I won't think differently of you. We haven't really done anything that permits that we physically started something." She states and I sometimes wonder how her logic works, because touching her and seeing her on the phone was some form of initiation. But then again her logic made sense. So I did the only thing I thought was right and I set everything in motion.
I pulled her closer to me and my lips found hers, and I kissed her with so much raw passion that if this kiss lasted longer than the mere few seconds it did, then I wouldn't be able to stand up and walk till my nerves calmed down. She committed shyly to the kiss as she wiggles slightly and then pulls away.
"Our fate has been set in motion." She mutters as she rises to her feet and out of my reach. I look at her longingly as to why this was so short lived, but we both were slightly flushed and there was a red hue on her cheeks as she turns to the side, pulling at her shirt. And that's when I hear the footsteps down the hall too someone who was approaching our way. "But we can't do shit like that here." She says tucking her hair behind her ear.
I look up and to the side. She was right. The walls had ears and eyes and I doubt either of us wanted anyone to know about this or us.
"Every time you have to go, Shut my eyes and you know, I'll be lying right by your side in Barcelona"George Ezra – Barcelona
Trying to read Lucy was like trying to learn a new language, the only emotion I knew on her face was happiness. Because she rarely to never showed any other. Was it a sign that she might come out looking weak? As we pass in the halls, or even outside, in meetings or parades she wore a smile that no one other than herself could wear.
It was sweet and contagious and when I saw it, I couldn't help but smile as well. Her eyes would laugh and sparkle and she would just glow. As we sit in our morning meetings, attendance was compulsory on Mondays, I watch her out of the corner of my eyes. She glances over her papers and then back to our commander as she takes notes. Every now and again her eyes would meet mine and I would just look down and shake my head.
"Do you find crime amusing Constable Dragneel?" I look up as I hear my name being called and my eyes meet those of our Commander.
"Not at all." I reply back looking down at my own notes, not to sure what to make of them because there was little to none. If not only scribbles. "Crime is a problem, not only in my sector. We discussed a way forward in our last Sector Crime Meeting." I say as I glance to Laxus who is just sitting there looking at table.
"When is your next meeting?" Mavis asks with a sneer.
"The Overall meeting for the Sector Crime Forum will be next week Monday." Captain Cana Alberona says as a matter of fact and Mavis nods her head. "But all Commanders should diaries it as it would be beneficial to attend. The community enjoys that the police participate in these and they feel heard." She continues and I just smile and nod my head, she was always so sweet and helpful and a true sight for a woman. A beautiful one at that.
"Thank you Captain." Mavis replies as she grabs at the agenda again. I give Cana a curt nod and a smile before I look to Lucy who continues to scribe along her notes her eyes remaining on the page. "Colonel Bora what do you have planned to address the crime because your members are bringing in no successes?" Mavis asks and she was bringing out the big guns as she raises her voice, but this was a usual for us on a Monday. Basically it was another typical Monday. I watch Colonel Bora look up and then look to our group of Sector Co-ordinators.
"Brigadier, we are conducting operations during our hotspot times and we are patrolling our hotspot areas." Colonel Bora tries but it seems that this does not dim the flame that has ignited in Mavis this morning. She was on a complete warpath and seems that we were her target.
"Brigadier, I even placed some articles in the local news for the community to be aware of the crime trends that are being used." Captain Cana says with a soft smile.
"Yet the crime is not going down, what is Vispol doing!" she yells.
"I can try and do a radio interview." Captain Cana starts but soon stops as Colonel Bora raises his hand to stop her mid-sentence.
"We will try and plan accordingly to attend to our crime picture." Colonel Bora states.
"Brigadier, with all due respect, the only successes that are coming in currently is from the Sector co-ordinators and Crime Prevention." Everyone goes quiet as we look to the person in question who just raised their opinion, not something that is usually done towards our Commander. "I would maybe advise Colonel Bora to sit and have a meeting with the Relief Commanders and have them make arrests for targets while CPU and Sectors strategize to address the crimes that are picking up in the area." She places her pen on the table with a soft smile on her lips.
I stare at Lucy as she looks around the room, leaving most speechless. She looks to me then to the Brigadier with a smile on her lips as Mavis nods her head.
"I'll be sure to amend the times and dates of the operations to ensure they speak to the Crime pattern analysis. Because if we look at the crimes that are being committed, operations are being held to address the crimes depending on police action and not the crime reported by the community," she continues as she notes down something on her notes.
I don't think I have ever witnessed our commanding officer as shocked as she tries to regain her bearings and continue with the meeting. Lucy just continues to smile as she notes down everything. That smile never leaving her lips. I look to Cana who furrows her brows but continues to remain composed.
Not long after the meeting was adjourned I get a message on our group. 'Herewith the operational planning for the coming week….' I look over the message with given dates and times of which we would be working. Would this be the first time in a while we were not working on the weekend?
'We aren't working Saturday?' Constable Zeref asks and I assume he is just as shocked as we are.
'Nope…' was Lucy's lone reply and soon this followed.
';)' I shake my head as I get into the car actually wondering how the hell she got this right but thankful nether the less. I would soon come to realise that she was the only one who looked after us and who truly cared for us.
"He love me, he give me all his money, that Gucci, Prada comfy, My sugar daddy"Qveen Herby – Sugar Daddy
I walk into Lucy's office yet she was not there yet. I look to Aries who looks up and she smiles. Erza also smiles. "Morning." I say and I see as Erza rises to her feet and motions to me to greet her, which I do. A half-hearted hug shared between the two of us.
"You're early." Erza states and I just nod my head as I look into the passage, the sound of footsteps coming closer, I hoped it was Lucy but it was just Cana as she stops in front of her door, unlocking it as she goes.
"Yeah, I woke up early." I say as Erza smiles and clasps her hands together. I was waiting for Lucy I wanted to greet her, and just see her. She has been on my mind since the other day we had sealed our fate.
"Erza! Natsu!" we both turn into the direction of Cana's office, her voice hard enough for us to hear her calling. I smile as I nod my head towards Erza to move and we both move to Cana's office. The petite brunette was seated at her desk, a smile on her lips. For a woman her age she was in good shape and she was rather pretty, she reminded me so much of my wife, with how she was small build and soft. "How did you guys get it right to not work the weekend?" Cana asks as Erza takes a seat next to her and I find myself sitting down near the door.
"Well of course I spoke to the Brigadier and she agreed." Erza states and at this I frown because I doubt that it was her doing that we were not working the weekend. Ezra might just go out of her way to make sure that we are working on weekends.
"That is amazing. When are you working this week?" Cana asks as she pulls out her phone, I can hear faint steps in the hallway and in the hopes that it might be Lucy, I was slightly distracted. "Natsu!" I look to Cana and shake my head.
"Oh we are working Wednesday and Friday night." I manage to say and at this Cana frowns and she furrows her brows at me.
"What times?" Cana asks and for a moment I stop and pull out my cell phone as I move to the chat to check our times. The faint footsteps are now almost so close, I would see the person, but to my surprise it's Laxus as he walks in and smiles.
"What are you ladies talking about?" Laxus asks as he salutes the captain and smiles to Erza.
"Wednesday we are working 10:00 to 18:00 and Friday we are working 18:00 to 02:00." I manage to say as I see Laxus sit down next to Erza, and that's when I see a glimpse of Lucy as she quickly moves into her office. Not even a word said.
"Oh maybe myself and Erza should join you guys." Cana states as she looks at Erza who also seems excited to work with us.
"I can patrol with you all for a while then get back and capture the successes." At this both me and Laxus stop and look to Erza in surprise. As of late she never worked with us nor did Cana. Lucy always worked with us. Yes we knew Erza hated her for this because she was just a mere civilian, so she didn't see the need for the blonde to work with us. But it had become a pass time now. She was part of our team.
"Lucy is here to do that." Laxus says and both woman look to him with daggers in their eyes. I knew Erza despised Lucy but it seems Cana was also disliking Lucy now.
"She can focus on her other office duties." Erza states and Cana smiles nodding her head. "Besides it would be fun to work with my group again." At this Laxus narrows his eyes but gives a smile neither the less but we were not her group, not for as long as Lucy would be here.
"Sure. Why not?" I manage to say with a smile as well.
"I can work with you and Laxus and Erza can be posted on a vehicle as well." Cana says with a sweet smile and I nod my head. "I can make us something to eat from home as well." Cana continues and I nod my head. This reminded me so much of when we previously worked together. I liked to cook and so did Cana so we would share meals when posted together.
"That would be great." I say with a smile and at this Cana winks at me.
"I'll take Laxus to that new restaurant that opened in sector 3." Erza states and at this Laxus smiles and she nods her head.
This reminded me of old times when we all worked together. Those were the good old days. I always fought to ensure I was posted with Cana. This was my best kept secret, I liked Cana a lot. Always thought that she was smart and pretty. There was one or two times I felt attracted to her. However, that was a secret. I smile to her and then look up and into the hallway. Lucy was standing there in the hallway as she pulled her bag on her shoulder.
I frown as our eyes meet, she smiles back to me, and something was off about her smile thought. Something was off about her as a whole. "Guys I'll see you later." I say as I rise to my feet. I start to make my way towards Lucy as a small hand grabs my wrist stopping me. I watch as Lucy tilts her head and then she starts walking as fast as she can, a small limp in her step.
"Natsu I wanted to ask you if Lisanna still does photography." Cana asks and at this I look back to the brunette in question.
"Yeah," I say as I look to the brunette and then to the space I just saw Lucy.
"Can you make a booking for me and my husband for our anniversary?" Cana asks with a sweet smile and I look back to her.
"Yeah sure…" I manage to say.
"Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my Ma and Pa, Not the way that I love you"Edith Wiskers – Home
"Is Lucy okay?" I hear Levi asks and I look to the smaller female.
"Why?" Erza asks as she settles in a chair just outside the office the blue haired was currently in. The power was off and we all seemed to just hang around the waiting area at the Firearm office. Cana sitting next to her as she scrolls on her phone.
Aries sitting off to the side-acting like she was not even paying attention. The pink haired woman kept to herself, at one point she and Erza were close friends but due to Erza being Erza they drifted apart.
"She wasn't wearing make-up or anything." Mira chips in as she looks up. "She was strangely dressed as well." Mira continues and both Cana and Erza looks up.
"Strangely in what way?" Erza asks as she adjusts her glasses.
"She was in a pair of jeans and sneakers." Mira replies and at this Aries looks up with a frown on her face.
"Are you ladies seriously going to gossip about another female and how she's dressed?" Gray finally says as he pushes himself off the doorframe. "And then you all wonder why we have so many cat fights among the ladies stationed here." Gray states as he looks to Mira and Erza then Cana.
"If you must know, she had a doctor's appointment." At this we all look to Aries as the pink haired woman rises to her feet. "It's not like any of you have never came to work not feeling well." She walks off to the side then to the main building. She had a point. Erza has come to work many times with swollen feet or aches and pains and she was dressed like she just got out of bed.
With Cana, there was never a hair out of place or that is what she thought. I smirk and shake my head from side to side. Laxus opens the door to the Firearm office and we all look to him and smile. I notice how Levi's smile brightens and Erza waves at him.
"Where have you been?" Levi asks and Laxus sidesteps into the office. He was missing in action since this morning and he didn't even mention to any one of us where he would be off too. "I want to ask you to take me to the shopping centre to get something to eat." Levi states as she starts reaching for her handbag.
"I took Lucy home." Came his simple answer but it made things complicated as we all look to him in surprise. And I mean that all eyes were now looking at him. He almost seemed uncomfortable as he stood there.
"Why?" Erza was the first to ask and I was curious as well as I raise a brow looking towards my friend but our eyes not meeting.
"Mavis asked me to take her after her appointment." Laxus states folding his arms over his chest. So our Commanding officer asked him to take Lucy home, was it serious?
"Is she sick?" Mira asks.
"I don't know." Laxus states as he fidgets with his belt. He was lying. He knew something and he wasn't telling but that was how I knew him, he wouldn't indulge in telling other peoples stories. If there was ever a good secret keeper, it was him. "Natsu let's go patrol." He almost seemed nervous as he looked around the room, pulling the car keys out of his pocket as he turns and grabs for the door.
"Wait!" I hear Erza yell from the side but I also rise to my feet and start to make my way over to the door.
"Yeah I still want to go to the store!" Levi states as she struggles to get to her feet.
"No we are going to patrol." Laxus presses as I walk through the door and shut it in both Levi and Erza's faces. I felt bad but it seemed he needed to get out of there. "Let's go…" Laxus states as he quickly makes his way out of the building and to the car.
"What's going on?" I ask as I walk to the passenger's side.
"I just didn't want to tell them stuff about someone else." Laxus states as he gets into the driver's side. "Besides if Lucy wanted any of us to know what's going on she would tell us." Laxus states and at that moment he sounded just as disappointed as the ladies when he didn't want to tell them what's going on with her.
"So you don't know either?" I ask and at this Laxus nods his head starting the car.