Snape stood at the doorway, his eyes peering outside to the exact spot that Harry Potter had just disapparated into what might as well be oblivion. He took a deep breath before forcing it out into the cool night air, watching as the whiteness merged with its invisible surroundings.
It had been a long time since he had felt this way, perhaps a part of him never thought these strange emotions would manifest again in his somewhat mundane life.
His eyes danced across the hue of hazy streetlamps as a chill ran down his spine. Why did it feel as though it would rain soon? He peered up into the dark sky, spotting speckled stars before lingering his gaze upon the moon. He barely had time to appreciate it before it was muffled by the very thing he had expected to see. Heavy clouds began to roll across the sky, yet the instinct to move inside clawed away at him. He knew it was in his best interests to listen, yet he found himself unable to let go just yet. Unable to let go of the one remaining link between himself and Harry. The last point to which he had witnessed him with his own eyes.
It felt as though these past eight years had suddenly merged into the space of day, like some kind of concertina. It felt as though no time had passed at all.
Those long, empty, dare he say lonely years seemed as though they were lived by someone else.
Yet, it was different. Harry more than simply reminded him of a time long past, he was the epitome of it. He still harboured within him that energy of eight years ago, that calm demeanour coupled with a spirit of adventure that he himself had discarded a long time ago.
Or perhaps it was in fact he himself who had lost sight of his own ambition and drive that he had once possessed in a vain attempt to survive this somewhat cruel world.
Why did he fight so hard for the wizarding world then?
Was it even worth it?
If he knew this is what his life would amount to then maybe it hadn't been worth it after all.
No.
The only pathetic one here was himself. Snape closed his eyes. It seemed he was no longer alone in feeling this way. Very few people would be able to relate to the events that had plagued his life, but Harry was certainly one of them. A pang suddenly struck his heart. Why had he spent all those years at Hogwarts going out of his way to make life miserable for the boy?
He could try to justify it with answers such as 'He had to make it convincing to the Dark Lord, because you never really know who is watching', or perhaps 'Harry deserves it for inheriting such a swine of a father.' But even he knew none of these answers were justification. Perhaps a part of Harry would have forgotten how badly he had treated him all those years ago, it must of for him to even be talking to him now.
No.
Snape shook his head as specks of cool rain began to splatter across his pale skin. It was time he went inside, yet still his body failed to move.
He had no choice but to try and redeem himself of his past actions.
*~.~*
Harry laid in his bed as a streak of sunlight forced its way between a gap in his curtains before violating his room, reminding him that it was well past time to get up and make something of his day. Yet, if he was honest with himself, he knew that no amount of laying in bed would improve his view of himself.
At least he knew what was wrong.
That was always a good start.
He needed to find purpose in his life again. All those years through Hogwarts there was always a reason to the madness, always a new adventure just around the corner, always a crusade to win, whatever the cost.
But now there was nothing. Just his mundane job at the ministry. Of which he couldn't even muster the energy to get out of bed for.
He took a deep breath before reaching for his wand from the night stand.
This would be a first.
A new low.
This would be the first time he had called in sick in the whole eight years of his working life. Yet it was also more than that. It marked an even more decrepit point in his life. He was now barely able function in a normal capacity, not even able to face work. A wave of his wand and the message had been sent to the ministry. Harry couldn't deny the deep sense of failure manifesting within every fibre of his being as he placed his wand back down on the night stand.
He really was useless.
He closed his eyes, willing sleep to consume him once more, only postponing the moment he would have to face the world again.
*~.~*
Snape stood behind the counter of his store, his fingers weaved through the handle of his favourite bone china teacup. He had yet to received any customers but also expected that the rest of the day would bare the same results. Not that any of this bothered him in the slightest as he drew the teacup to his lips.
He needed time to think.
Last night had confused him even more than he had initially realised. He thought when he would awake this morning, everything would be as it once was.
But no.
Life could never be quite that straight forward.
Snape sighed before whisking out a piece of parchment and a quill from the draw beneath him.
He needed to resolve some of these nagging thoughts as he pressing the tip of his quill to the dry parchment.
Dear Mr Potter,
I wanted to thank you for last night. I enjoyed your company more than I had expected. It has been a long time since I have had a conversation so meaningful. Perhaps if you so desire, we could catch up again soon.
Yours Sincerely,
Severus Snape
Snape rolled the parchment up before securing it with a ribbon. He clutched it within his fingers as a sense of hesitation began to consume him.
Perhaps his words were tinged with a bit too much vulnerability?
The man winced as he fought through his hesitation to summoned his owl.
For once in his life he needed to not think about it, just do it.
*~.~*
Harry didn't dare look at the clock. He hated to think about how much time he had spent in bed. It was probably well past lunch time, but he'd rather not know.
He was being truly pathetic, and the worst part was that he knew it too.
He was soon roused from his reverie by a seemingly relentless tapping at his bedroom window.
Harry resisted the instinct to get up and answer the summon, choosing instead to close his eyes and wish for this new intruder in his life to go away.
Only, it wouldn't go away.
Harry's eyes bolted open as he turned to face the noise. His gaze quickly settled upon an unfamiliar black owl.
Confusion reigned in his eyes as he failed to recognise the owl. It certainly didn't belong to Hermione or Ron or any of his other friends.
His curiosity was destined to get the better of him as he thrust back his covers and forced himself from his bed.
He strode over to the window, gently opening it before noticing the curled up parchment attached to the bird's leg.
Who sent him a letter? Maybe it was from the Ministry telling him not to bother turning up to work ever again.
Harry took a deep breath before untying the parchment from the bird. Hesitation clutched at his actions as he attempted to muster the courage to open it. Maybe he should cast a spell to determine if it possessed good news or not?
For gods sake.
Harry clenched his jaw in an attempt to steal himself.
Just unroll it.