Not Another Ninja!
Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto. But when I take over the world, I'm going to steal Gaara, Shikamaru, and Sasuke and hide them under my bed.
A/n – Wow, it's hard to think of disclaimers for every chapter. But I hope this chapter is appreciated, because I wrote it when I was supposed to be paying attention in school! By the way, this chapter is based of something my gymnastics coach made my team do after we were all fighting and no one was willing to speak to anyone else. Quite a mess, that was. Also, this chapter took longer to get up because it's all long and stuff and my wrists got tired of typing and I had to take a break and stuff. Also, there's the whole school thing and also the studying for the AP Government exam-ness. You get the idea. Also, clearly I'm not going to narrate the entire circle. That would be… 19 people, 18 compliments each. And 19 times 18 is 342. I can't think of 342 compliments, nor am I interested in trying. So, the characters I want to do will be done, and otherwise just highlights will be given. But don't worry; I'll have at least one quote from each character.
Chapter Seven: Circle Time
"So, would any of you care to explain to me what was going on out there?"
All the Konoha genins, Leah, Olivia, Michelle, Anko, Shikamaru, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro stood inside a room in a big, sulky clump. Everyone but Hinata was glaring at at least two or three other members of the group. The four Jounins did not exactly have the happiest looks on their faces.
"Well?" Kakashi asked.
"No regrets!" Anko said with vigor, "Those calls were friggin' hilarious!"
"Same here," Naruto put in, "I finally got Anko back for what she did before the second Chuunin exam!"
Gai grew all big and scary-like. "THIS IS NOT THE PROPER WAY TO USE YOUR YOUTHFUL ENERGIES!" Everyone promptly sweatdropped.
Asuma chewed on his usual cigarette. "All this fighting is hurting everyone's teamwork. It needs to end."
"Feh," said Kankuro, "It's not like we had any in the first place."
Kakashi sighed. "If there were a mission that took this may of you, we could just send you on that to make you make up, but there isn't. So we'll just have to improvise."
Kurenai stood up. "I'll take it from here." She walked to the center of the room. "We're going to some exercises here. You're all going to sit where I tell you now." She walked to one end of the room. "We'll start on this side. Naruto will sit over here." She moved so Naruto could sit. "Now, we're going to form a circle. Next to Naruto will be Gaara. Leah will sit next to Gaara. Shino will sit next to Leah. Olivia will sit next to Shino. Neji will sit next to Olivia. Hinata will sit next to Neji. Michelle will sit next to Hinata. Kiba will sit next to Michelle. Kankuro will sit next to Kiba. Ino will sit next to Kankuro. Sakura will sit next to Ino. Chouji will sit next to Sakura. Sasuke will sit next to Chouji. Shikamaru will sit next to Sasuke. Anko will sit next to Shikamaru. Tenten will sit next to Anko. Finally, Temari will sit between Tenten and Naruto."
All members of the fuming and sulky group moved to their seats on the floor. It was soon noticed that everyone was seated between people that they either a) hated, b) were irritated by, c) were terrified of, d) barely knew, or e) any and/or all of the above.
"All settled?" Kurenai asked. No one said a word. They were all busy glaring at someone or another. "Good!" she said with a grin. "Okay, we're going to start! We will go around the circle, and everyone must think of something nice to say about every other person in the circle. Naruto, let's start with you."
"Umm… Okay…" Naruto said nervously, "Uh… Gaara is very-"
"Don't say it to me!" Kurenai yelled. She could be almost as scary as Anko when she put her mind to it. "Say it to him!"
Naruto gulped. "Okay… Gaara, you are much hotter than I am, and you have a lot of fangirls."
"Like me!" Leah and Olivia chorused.
"DON'T INTERUPT!" Kurenai screamed. Who knew she had it in her?
"Umm… Leah, you are very daring and creative." More like crazy, he said to himself. "Shino, you are very good at telling bugs apart. Olivia, you wear a really pretty necklace and it looks good on you. Neji, you're really good at just about everything. Hinata, you are really sweet and nice. Michelle, you are good at… um… matchmaking. Kiba, you're really brave to wear that outfit all around Konoha. Ino, you're really strong, for a girl."
"What did you just say?" hissed every kunoichi in the circle before a glare from Kurenai shut them up.
"Okay… Sakura-chan, you're smart and really pretty. Chouji, you are… very… buff."
"And what do you mean by that?" Chouji asked suspiciously.
"Sasuke, you're really popular and all the girls love you. Shikamaru, you're super smart. Fuzzy eyebrows, you are-"
"NARUTO!" Kurenai roared, "WE DO NOT TOLERATE NAME CALLING IN THE CIRCLE!"
"Sorry…" Naruto said meekly, "Lee, you are super good at taijustu." Noticing who was next, he paused super nervously. "Umm… Anko-sensei… you are… umm… scary!" He gulped audibly when Kurenai glared daggers at him. "But, I mean, like, scare in a good way! Heh…" Naruto majorly sweatdropped. "Um… Tenten, you are really cute and I like your hairstyle." Tenten giggled. "And Temari, you're… a bitch! But in a good way!" he added hastily.
Kurenai nodded. "Now it's Gaara's turn."
Gaara grunted, but complied. "Naruto. You are strong. I hate it." He moved on. "Leah, you are incredibly evil. You are the most evil person I know."
Kurenai was about to say (or scream) something, but Leah beat her to it. "Aww, Gaara-chan, that's so sweet! I didn't know you even cared!"
"I don't," Gaara told her.
Leah giggled. "Aww… you're so shy! It's adorable!" She immediately glomped Gaara, who immediately yelled in disgust and threw her off.
"Shino, your compliment is that I don't know enough about you to insult you." Shino snorted. Gaara continued. "Olivia, you are not as weird as Leah is. Neji, you are also irritatingly strong. Hinata, you are weak, but that's alright, because if you were strong, I would have a death wish for you, too. Michelle, it was funny when you pushed Hinata off the base. Kiba, you are good with dogs, and it irritates me. Kankuro, you are automatically an important figure in this world because you are related to the wonderful me. Ino, you are carefree and ditzy, which is okay, because you could have been a druggie, or worse, an emokid. I really hate emokids. I kill all the ones I can. Sakura, you are good at distracting Naruto. Chouji, you are easy to piss off, and it's fun. Sasuke, you are also too strong and I also hate you. Shikamaru, you are smarter than me, and I hate that. Lee, you're strong but I'm better. Anko, it's funny when you make Naruto practically wet himself. Tenten, you're good at making yourself look bad. And, Temari, you have lots of pretty dresses." Gaara clapped his hands over his mouth, then spun to glare at Leah. "If you've got another one of those things-"
"It wasn't me, I swear!" Leah said, actually telling the truth for once. "It was all you, Gaara-chan!"
Gaara muttered, and rose.
"And what might you be doing?" Kakashi asked cheerfully, clearly being amused at the participants' expenses.
"I'm leaving. Are you completely blind?"
"No, no, no," Kakashi said with a grin, wagging his finger in Gaara's face and thoroughly enjoying the boy's irritation. "You were as much involved as the rest of them."
"Feh. Try and stop me."
Thirty seconds later, a bound, gagged, and rather unhappy Gaara sat between Leah and Naruto once more. Leah happily took this opportunity to play with Gaara's adorable red hair while he could do nothing to stop her.
"Now it's Leah's turn," Kurenai said as if she were speaking to a group of five year olds. Not remarkable, considering this was what most of the participants were currently acting like.
"Okay," Leah said, and sucked on her finger, thinking. "Naruto, I love how naïve you are. It's so cute." She turned to her current victim, and pinched his cheeks underneath the gag. "Gaara, even in your pathetic current situation, you are super hot and definitely better looking that Sasuke." Sakura's eyes flamed as she heard Leah's comment. "Shino, I have to admit, those shades kick ass." Leah had always been good at kissing up, and this was no different! "Olivia, the call you made to Kiba asking if he had gotten his rabies shot was hilarious."
Kiba jumped up. "That was you!"
Olivia shook her head. "Wow. You're quick."
Leah continued. "Neji, I derive great amusement from your silly destiny talks. They're funny. Hinata, you're super cute and should never change. Michelle, you are cool because you're in RMHS anime club with me! Kiba, the paint on your face is so cute. It looks so silly. Kankuro, the face paint thing goes for you too, but, seriously, purple? Is there something you're not telling us, Kankuro-san?"
Kankuro turned bright red and mumbled death threats at Leah.
"Ino, you have nice hair and you're pretty strong, but you could use a personality makeover. 'Nuff said. Sakura, you're cool because you're as smart as I am and also I'm going to cosplay as you for Otakon when I go home!"
"As smart as you?" Sakura said, "And how is that a compliment?"
Leah glared. "I'll have you know I have an IQ right above the official standard for a genius! I'm really good at math, too! I'm not a Shikamaru clone, but I'm still smart, dammit!"
"Riiiiight."
"What?" Leah said, irritated, "I'm an academic genius! I just have absolutely no real-world knowledge! And I have plenty of common sense; I merely choose to ignore it!"
Sakura flipped her hair over her shoulder, saying, "Whatever."
"Now, if I may continue?" Leah said exaggeratedly, "Chouji, you are friendly, nice, and an advocate for pleasantly plump people everywhere! Sasuke, you aren't as hot as Gaara, but you're still pretty friggin' hot. Shikamaru, you are just awesome in every way! Anko, you are the master of prank calls. The call to Orochimaru was simply unforgettable!"
"You prank called Orochimaru!" all the Jounins yelled.
"Yep," Anko said with a proud smile, "One of my finest, I have to say!"
Leah shook her head. "I still can't believe he was getting a manicure. Can you say 'queer?' 'Cause I certainly can."
"Yeah, don't you ever wonder about that long hair? Or the nails? Or possibly the high pitched voice? Somehow I think his interest in Sasuke is mostly physical…" Anko said, laughing as the look on Sasuke's face became more and more horrified.
"Anko, Leah," Kurenai said, "Before we give poor Sasuke-kun a complete meltdown, might we get back on topic?"
"Oh, right!" Leah said, "Tenten, you are super cool in most ways, especially your swirly scrolly move thing. It are teh r0xx0rz!"
"What?" Tenten said.
"Oops, sorry, lapse into chatspeak there. It rocks." She turned to the last member of the circle. "Temari, you are super cool in the way that you can pwn people!"
"'Pwn?'" Temari said with a snort.
"Umm… never mind."
Shino – "Gaara, you are better at making sandcastles than anyone I know."
Gaara – twitch twitch
"Alright, now it's Olivia's turn."
"Okay. Naruto, you're funny. Gaara, you're so hot. Leah, you're just Leah. Shino, you're cool. Neji, you're cool. Hinata, you're cute. Michelle, you're Michelle. Kiba, you're a cool doggy. Kankuro, puppets rock. Ino, pigs are cute. Sakura, pink hair rocks. Chouji, you're cuddly. Sasuke, you're also hot. Shikamaru, love the hair. Lee, you're very… open. Anko, you pwn in general. Tenten, weapons are fun. Temari, nice fan."
"Whoa," said Michelle, "Way to describe everyone in four words or less."
"It's a gift," Olivia said.
"Bet I can beat it."
"How much?"
"Ten bucks?"
"You're on."
Neji – "Michelle, you are officially ranked second only to me in scaring the crap out of Hinata. It is a great honor!"
Hinata – "Temari, I've always admired your ability to show a boy how you feel, even if it involves hitting him with a fan."
Temari – "I do not like Shikamaru, dammit!"
Olivia – "Whatever you say…"
"Now it's time for Michelle to go," Kurenai said, clearly regretting suggesting this in the first place.
"Okay. Olivia, beat this!" Michelle said, and took a breath.
Note: For silly people who read fanfiction out loud, the following should be said all in one breath.
"Naruto's nifty, Gaara's godlike, Leah's lazy, Shino's super, Olivia's original, Neji's neat, Hinata's handy, Kiba's kawaii, Kankuro's… kool, Ino's inefficient, Sakura's sappy, Chouji's cheery, Sasuke's sexy, Shikamaru's smart, Lee's loco, Anko's awesome, Tenten's tight, and Temari's twisted. Ha!" Michelle yelled at Olivia, "Pay up!"
"You're going down!" Olivia said, grudgingly handing Michelle the money. "I can describe everyone in three words total!"
"Oh, really? What might those three words be?"
"You. All. Suck."
"Now, was that a compliment?"
"I want my ten dollars back."
Kiba – "Tenten, you are super cute. You make me want to slobber all over your face."
Tenten – "…"
Kankuro – "Umm… Sakura, if you were an apple, you would be tasty."
Ino – "Chouji, you are… Pleasantly plump! There! I said it! Happy?"
Sakura – "Ino, you are like a pig. You're cute to look at, but everyone knows you don't really know what's going on, and you'll just end up as some higher organism's dinner."
Chouji – "Anko, you are super perky. You're kind of like a bug."
Anko – "I'm sorry Chouji, I missed the last part. Did you say you wanted me to kill you? Because that can be arranged."
Chouji – "Ya know what? Forget I said anything, okay?"
Sasuke – "Gaara, you are very open. That's great, but don't do it with me."
Shikamaru – "Temari, you are very on top of things. Kind of like my mother."
Temari – "Oh, um, thanks!" blushes like Hinata
Olivia – "Told you so."
Lee – "Gaara, you are very youthful! You must learn to embrace your youthfulness!"
Gaara – "Alright – I'm going to kill you this time. Youthful enough yet?"
"Alright, you're next, Anko. Try to be nice, okay?"
"Feh," Anko said, "Naruto, you are amusingly easy to freak out. Gaara, you are strong and good at staying clean. Leah, you are a genius at prank ideas, second only to me. Shino, you are a great challenge to freak out, you're all calm and collected and stuff. Olivia, you are another prank expert, and your necklace is pretty. Neji, you are a genius and stuff, but you're irritating all the same. Hinata, you are kind of a wimp, but you're sweet nonetheless. Michelle, you are wonderfully devious, a quality I like in a person! Kiba, you're good at smelling stuff, which provides me with amusement. Kankuro, your puppets are silly looking. Ino, you're not very creative, but the very little that you can do you can do decently. Sakura, you're smart, but not much else. Chouji, you are sort of round, and you're good at being a meatball. Sasuke, you're strong, but seriously, take a friggin' chill pill! Chillax, man! Shikamaru, you're a complete wimp, but you're pretty smart. Tenten, you're strong, but you have absolutely no knowledge of anything but weapons. But that's okay, because weapons are sharp and pointy, and everyone knows it's fun to play with pointy things. Temari, you are strong, but you seriously need some Pamprin. How is it that you manage to PMS twenty-four seven?"
"Anko, I think you're missing the point of this circle," Kurenai told the Tokubetsu Jounin. However, if she believed Anko was actually listening to her, she was sadly mistaken.
Tenten – "Umm, Lee, you are very enthusiastic."
Lee – "Oh, Tenten, your youthfulness is emerging! It is wonderful!"
Tenten – slap
Temari – "Umm… Shikamaru, hitting you with a fan is fun!"
Kurenai sighed. "This is not working." All circle members were back to their glaring states, and nothing seemed to stop them.
Asuma sighed as well. "I guess we'll just have to try something a bit more drastic."
A/n – See, nice and long! Maybe chapter eight will take less time, but it will most likely take more, as AP exams are in two weeks and I must study my ass off. REVIEW!