Starscream didn't really recharge.

He tried. He could feel his systems screaming at him to slip into the warm embrace of sleep. He tried to think about something boring. He tried thinking about something calming and soothing, but most of those memories were with the warm frames of some seekers beside him.

So. That didn't work.

Then he tried to think about the things roiling in his processor; just face them head on, come to some kind of conclusion, then put it away and not worry about it. But he was too tired to reach any meaningful end and sighed.

His processor hurt. That, too, kept him awake.

The room was still pleasantly dark and quiet as the other two mechs continued in recharge. It astounded him still how much quieter the Autobot base was in comparison to the Decepticon one. He was used to the dark and damp places of a base underwater, but here things were just in general more cozy and safe.

He absently brought his servo to touch his neck.

Bluestreak sat up from the floor with a curse, holding his helm and grimacing. "Fuck."

Starscream narrowed his optics. "What does that mean?"

"It's a human swear, sorry," Bluestreak muttered. "Sometimes it just sounds better than frag." Starscream watched as Bluestreak stretched and yawned.

"Fuck me," Sideswipe moaned. "Why are you yelling?"

Bluestreak huffed a laugh. "Not yelling. Your audials are on too high. Turn them down." Sideswipe grimaced but then relaxed, apparently dozing off again. "Where's Sunny?" Bluestreak asked, his gaze sweeping the room.

Starscream paused. "He left late last night. I think he went to go recharge in the common room."

Bluestreak sighed, looking apologetic. "Couldn't even sleep in the same room as a seeker, huh? Sorry."

Starscream bit the inside of his cheek. "Something like that."

"Well, do you want to head back to your room to take a shower or something?"

"Sure." But then Starscream paused, looking at the panel to the door, and he frowned. "Actually. Can I just use the washracks here?"

Bluestreak gave the snoring Sideswipe a glance and then shrugged. "Yeah, go ahead. I have to take a minute to figure out what we're doing today anyway."

Starscream slipped from the berth and walked into the washracks. Despite the messiness of the berthroom, the washroom was very well-organized with polishes and brushes lining some shelves. Starscream tried not to touch anything and tried to be as unimposing as possible as he slipped into the shower. He turned on the knobs, again, silently praising the Autobots for their hot water.

Bluestreak called to him from the next room. "Is there anything you wanted to do today? No one needs you for any more briefings."

Starscream finished washing and stepped out, finding a towel to dry off. "I was wondering if I could go to the lab for a little bit. I'd like to talk to Wheeljack about something."

Bluestreak appeared in the doorway. "Sure. How long do you want to be there?"

Starscream smiled. "I think for a while. If there is something else you want to do, I think you could entertain yourself another way."

"Oh, I mean, I don't mind-" but then he stopped and smiled. "Yeah, thanks. Some of the science stuff is very much beyond me."

Starscream nodded, sweeping his arm in front of him to let Bluestreak lead the way.

Bluestreak nodded and palmed the door access. It opened and they walked into the hallway. "You know, I wanted to ask you. Do you- do you need to fly? I know sometimes the aerialbots would get squirrely. I know I get the same way if I haven't gone for a hard drive in a little bit."

As they walked down the hallway, Starscream looked at each door. Each one had an access panel to get in. "Honestly, I'm not quite sure how often I need to fly, but I'm okay for right now. Thank you." He was barely paying attention, trying to come up with a way to get in a door without having to use the access panels.

Just looking at them made his servo twitch and chill run down his spine. A lot of people had felt really sorry for him and told him he was limited or disabled. Up until now, he really had no frame of reference for what that meant and just assumed it was them bringing their own anxieties to him, asking in a way for him to make them feel better. It was exhausting telling everyone it was fine.

But now, he realized the destructive power of this program that ran through him. It worked so quickly too, and such a small thing like scratching an access panel made him incapable of using doors now. There were bigger implications here, but he didn't want to think about it right now.

It didn't make much sense based on what the program had been intended to create. A pacified, quiet mech that no longer caused trouble, certainly, but was he more of a burden this way? Why would the program disable him in this way? Shockwave had told him that it really was odd how this had been designed.

He missed Shockwave immensely for a moment. Shockwave would have immediately been able to help him, understand the situation, and work with him to fix it. He wouldn't pity him, he wouldn't tell him how awful it was, he'd just find ways to help. Starscream wasn't sure how these Autobots would react.

They reached the lab and Bluestreak strode in as the doors opened automatically for him. That was good; there were some doors that just opened without accessing a panel. Maybe it sensed movement?

"Bluestreak and Starscream, what can I do for ya?" Wheeljack said, his finials lighting up. His optics crinkled a little at the corners as if he were smiling behind his facemask at some private joke.

Starscream paused before taking a small invent. "I was hoping to work here today. I just need a small workspace and some minor tools."

"What did you want to work on?" Wheeljack asked, curious, not suspicious. He half-sat on a desk, using a cloth to clean off his servos.

"It's just an idea," he started. "About accessing doors without needing to use the access panel. In case your servos are full or something."

Wheeljack made a humming noise. "Sure! I've got some space back here that will be great for you." Bluestreak gave him a smile and a wave and left as Starscream followed Wheeljack into the back. He dimly thought that this was also about how his life had been so far; constantly escorted and handed off from one group to the next. It didn't really bother him as at least it was familiar, but it did make him feel… different.

"Would you like some assistance? I have some time."

Here Starscream paused. He looked at the table and then he looked back to Wheeljack. "Do you mind… if I try it for myself first? I'll come to you if I need help."

Wheeljack looked at him with amusement. "Of course. Good luck."

Starscream tentatively smiled. This was the most freedom he had received in a long time. Interesting where he found it.

He went about gathering materials and tools he would need. Ideally, he could come up with something that was discreet and wouldn't require modding every door in the base. He didn't think that would go over well with Red Alert.

So… a remote maybe. Or some kind of prosthetic?

He started to get to work.

"Megatron. What do you want?" Optimus affected a bored tone.

"I'm formally requesting the return of Starscream," Megatron said with a hard edge. He looked more annoyed than angry.

"Denied. Starscream sought asylum with us."

"Under duress." Megatron's face twisted into a smirk. "Impressive tactic though. Makes me think some of your mechs should have been Decepticons, Prime. Hurting his trinemates was a stroke of genius."

Optimus glared. "Their injuries were unintentional." He internally cursed. Megatron always put him on the defensive, having to explain his actions while Megatron didn't care if he was consistent or not. "Starscream was suffering under your tender care-"

"You found much evidence of that, did you?" Megatron's smirk was practically baring his denta.

Optimus paused, clenching his fist to try and control his anger. The truth was Ratchet hadn't found any sign of mistreatment other than the Combaticons' little stunt they pulled. It had been so easy to read between the lines of what Mirage had reported and Optimus wondered if he had made a mistake. If Starscream was doing well with the Decepticons, Optimus had no moral imperative to rescue him.

He might have hurt his chances to bring the Aerialbots back for good.

"Why do you want him back? He's of no benefit to your war."

Megatron's optics narrowed. "Our war, Optimus. It's as much my progeny as it is yours." Megatron slumped back on his throne, leaning his helm on his fist in a bored, relaxed manner. "Starscream doesn't benefit my war effort. I am his leader, and he trusted me with his new self before we wiped his memories. I am fulfilling my duty to him by asking for his return."

Optimus's lips twitched underneath his mask. "I'm not sure how much say his former self has now in what happens to the new Starscream. He's free to make any decision he would like: be it returning to you or remaining here."

"Really."

Optimus furrowed his brow. "I never thought in a million years you and I would be arguing over the welfare of Starscream of all mechs." He forcibly unclenched his fist and flexed his digits. "But yes, Megatron. Starscream is free to choose whichever faction he would like to be with. In fact, I will allow Thundercracker and Skywarp to talk to him and check on his welfare. We have nothing to hide."

Megatron arched an optic-ridge. "You're so confident he loves the Autobots and will stay, are you?"

Optimus leaned forward in his chair. "I'll be waiting to hear from you for a date and time to pass on to Starscream. Thank you for your call," he said, ending the connection.

He sat deep in thought for a moment, staring at the black screen. Megatron never failed to irk him on the simplest of things, but this had devolved to a new low. Optimus understood his culpability regarding Starscream, or at least his subordinates roles in it, and Megatron had the odd upper moral hand which made talking to him irritating. He would always be sure to make sure Optimus knew this was his fault.

But he did think that Starscream would still choose the Autobots. And maybe with Starscream, he could attract more than just Skyfire and Aerialbots to the Autobot banner.