Not Another Ninja!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, there would be a much greater variety of pointy objects to play with.
A/n – Sorry for the super long wait and the not very long chapter! I've had bunches of essays, testing, and other crap, so I've got not very much time……… But I'll try to update faster. Once the school year ends, updates will be at least twice a week. Also, there are author powers and a teeny-tiny reference to one of my other fics in here. But just minor author powers. Omnipotent characters are annoying.
And, now, the serious A/n – In no means do I support underage drinking. It's really a very stupid thing to do. Also, alcohol tastes bad. That should be reason enough.
And, now for todays very short bit of randomness:
Leah hates dubbed anime.
Chapter Nine: Drastic Measures: Part Two
Tipsy Lee and The Forest of Swirly Things
"Yes, Gai-sensei, I am burning with the fire of youth!" Lee yelled at the tree in front of him.
"Anko-san?" Leah whispered, "How long do we have to cram in here for?"
"You can go find another hiding place anytime you want," Anko replied, "But you'll have to get around him."
"Okay," Leah said, "Then I'll take Gaara-chan with me to keep me safe!"
"No way!" Olivia protested, "I'm not letting you hog Gaara again! I'm coming too!"
Leah shrugged. "Meh. Whatever." She and Olivia each grabbed one of Gaara's arms, and jumped out of the tree.
As it would happen, they fell right in front of where Lee was standing! "Whash da hell yoush wansh?" Lee said drunkenly and stumbled towards them, his fists up.
"EEEEE!" Leah and Olivia screeched, "GAARA-CHAN, PROTECT US!" They immediately clung to Gaara's sides.
Gaara raised his hand, and Leah and Olivia went flying into the trees and landed rather roughly. "That protected enough for you?" he yelled at them.
"Wheee!" Leah yelled. "Throw me again, Gaara-chan! Again!"
"Come to think of it, I think Leah's drunk, too…" Anko whispered to Tenten, who rolled her eyes.
"She didn't drink anything. I think she's just high off Gaara. Olivia too."
Anko rolled her eyes in turn. "Stupid fangirls."
"I'm all diiiiiiizzy!" Lee whined, and turned into the bushes and threw up.
Suddenly, a dart came out of the trees and hit Lee in the neck. He collapsed, unconscious.
"I knew this thing would come in handy!" Leah said, holding her magic-fangirl crossbow that she took on her frequent visits to Tortall! Using her super-special author powers, Leah made the bow disappear.
"What the crap," Gaara said.
"My feelings exactly," Neji added.
"Feh," Leah said, "At least he's not bothering us anymore, right?"
"So the ends justify the means?"
"Yeah, basically."
A/n – I think anyone who regularly reads fanfiction should have seen this next part coming. Be forewarned of the clichés.
"We should play a game!" Michelle said out of the blue about ten minutes later. "Let's play Truth or Dare!"
"Nah…" Temari said, "I've done that way too many times by now."
"No, no, baka Michelle!" Leah said, "We should play I've Never! And we even have sake to play it with!"
"Baka? You did say baka, didn't you?" Michelle said, indignant.
"Regardless, I like Leah's idea. Only, let's just say that Lee isn't allowed to play," Olivia put in. "So, if you pass out, you lose and have to do a dare. Sound good?"
"Works for me," Temari said.
"Alright," Anko said, taking charge, as usual. "Everyone but Lee, get in a circle." All present obeyed.
"Okay, I'll start," said Michelle, who was clearly over her earlier insult. "I've never… wanted to put an axe through an electronic device." Not surprisingly, Shikamaru drank to that. Remarkably, Leah drank as well.
She saw everyone's strange looks, and clarified. "Dubbed anime. 'Nuff said."
Sitting next to Michelle was Olivia. "Okay… I've never… eaten a bee."
As was most likely expected, Kiba and Akamaru took a sip. As expected from her, Anko also drank. No one asked questions. Somehow, the picture of Anko eating a bee was not that strange.
Next came Temari. She glanced over at Naruto. "I've never had the hots for someone over thirty years older than me." Naruto went beet red and drank, clearly remembering the first time he glanced at Tsunade. No one else drank.
After Temari was Gaara. "I've never kissed a girl…" he said with slight embarrassment.
"WANNA CHANGE THAT?" Leah and Olivia squealed. Gaara ignored them.
Around the circle, Naruto, Neji, and Shikamaru drank again. No one knew who Neji or Shikamaru were with, but Naruto was pretty obvious, judging by the color of Hinata's face. However, Temari drank as well, bringing up a bit of shock and quite a few giggles.
"Don't ask. I was drunk," Temari said with a humongous blush.
Sitting next to Gaara was Shikamaru. "I've never gone all the way," he said, clearly thinking of a way to get this over with as fast as possible. Considering her age, no one was shocked that Anko drank, and there was not much surprise when Kankuro drank as well. However, as the cups in front of Tenten and Neji were emptied, people began to stare.
"S-so…" Hinata, remarkably was first to speak, "Neji-niisan, how far does your relationship with Tenten-san go?"
Tenten turned beet red, and subconsciously grabbed Neji's arm. "That's not something you need to hear."
A/n – Yes, I love Neji X Tenten fics. They're so cute.
Hinata was next in the circle. Clutching the strings on her jacket, she said, "Umm… I've never… gotten so drunk that I passed out."
Unremarkably, Anko and Temari drank. Everyone assumed that the latter was from the aforementioned incident.
Sitting next to Hinata and holding her hand, much to Kiba's annoyance, was Naruto. "Well… I've never been glomped by a fangirl," he said, clearly targeting the bishies among them.
Noticing his implication, Gaara, Sasuke, Kiba, Neji, and Shikamaru flushed and downed their shots. Leah and Olivia were intent on Gaara, clearly making sure he was acknowledging their existences in his fandom.
The circle continued, until it finally came to Leah. Nearly every participant, excluding her, Olivia, Michelle, and Hinata, was very, very drunk. Being her devious self, Leah decided to get them all in one go. "Um… I've never actually preformed the Henge no Jutsu," she said, figuring most of them would have to drink to that, the simple technique it was. Every ninja in the circle took a swig, and in about ten seconds, most were out cold. The previously mentioned four were alright, and Anko and Temari were still in. Given their experiences, we'll just have to assume that they're pretty good at holding their liquor.
"So," Michelle said, "What shall we have them do?"
"The forest is swiiiiiirly…" said the very drunk Anko.
The drunken Temari turned to Lee, who was not in the circle. "You're pretty hot… make out with me?" she asked before collapsing against a tree. "It iiiiis swiiiiiirly…."
Leah leaned back against another tree. "Well, the dare can wait till tomorrow," she said, and promptly fell asleep.
"Good idea," yawned Olivia, and joined Leah in dreamland.
No one else being awake and/or sober, Michelle went to sleep as well. It was better than being bored.
A/n – I know I should work on my romancy fic, but you know, I have to be in the right mood to write mushy-emo Kiba-ness. Ya know, like the angsty romancy stuff? It's hard. This is easier. Okies, on to my normal message: REVIEWS MAKE LEAH UPDATE FASTER!