Bowl of soup
The door flew open with a loud bang, as Merlin marched into the King's chambers, eyes fixed on a rather long roll of parchment.
"You know, I checked today's plan again, and I think we gotta scratch something. You won't be able to do all this on one day. Especially not you. I've been thinking that maybe you should think about this whole daily routine thing again 'cause you could save quite a lot of time if you just – uh."
It was only now that the servant realised, he was talking to an empty chair.
"Arthur?", Merlin asked, when he finally spotted the King standing at the window, his gaze fixed on something outside the chambers.
Quickly, he threw his list on the already messy desk and hurried at Arthur's side. For a while no one spoke as they watched the empty courtyard.
"Uh, Arthur?"
"Hm?"
"What exactly are we looking at?"
"I'm not looking, Merlin, I'm thinking", the king huffed.
"Oh wow, now I'm worried", Merlin retorted, sarcasm dripping from his words. "Shall I go and get Gaius?"
"Very witty, Merlin", Arthur snapped, finally taking his eyes off the courtyard to glare at his servant. "But unlike you with your ridiculously simple life, there are people who have real problems."
He strode over to his desk and dropped into his chair rather heavily.
Merlin furrowed his brows as he watched his shoulders slump as his gaze fell on the list he had just flung on the table.
"You have a problem then, huh?", he asked, following the King.
"Yes, Merlin, I do. Now would you finally shut up and do your job?"
"Maybe I can help", Merlin offered, ignoring him.
"Yes, well, it would certainly help if you'd finally clean up here."
"No, I meant that problem."
Arthur looked at him, one eyebrow drawn upwards.
"You want to help me?", he asked sceptically.
"Yup."
He snorted.
"Yeah, sure. You see, I think this is a little too important for your help. Now, why don't you start cleaning?"
"My mother always said problems are show-offs", Merlin replied blithely, not moving one bit.
"What?"
"They like to pretend to be much more important than they actually are", he said, grinning.
"Well, this might have been true for your silly little problems, Merlin", Arthur said, frowning up at his servant. "But I carry the responsibility for a whole kingdom."
"Oh, you see, personally I always thought problems are more like soup bowls anyway."
"What?", Arthur shot out again, confusion turning into sheer disbelief. "You think the responsibility of the kingdom is a bowl of soup?"
"No, I think it's like a bowl of soup. Without the soup. Just the bowl."
Arthur didn't reply, looking as if he was just wondering (and most certainly not for the first time) why he still kept the man around.
"Well,", Merlin went on, ignoring the look he had grown used to anyway, "just imagine you'd be in that bowl. Like – like a prisoner. What'd you do?"
"Get out?", Arthur suggested, apparently in the process of questioning his servant's mental health.
"How?"
"I'd climb."
"But how?", Merlin grinned. "The rim is rather slippery, don't you think?"
"I thought there was so much to do today", Arthur interrupted, feeling more than a little irritated. "So why don't you just shut up and finally clean this room?"
The grin dropped from Merlin's face, making room for a resigned look.
"Fine, my Lord."
There were a few minutes of silence, as he trotted over to the large bed and began to strip it of its linens.
"Is there a spoon in your bowl?", Arthur suddenly asked, keeping his gaze on a few parchments. He didn't quite manage to sound annoyed.
Merlin, however, straightened again from where he was hunched over the bed, and grinned.
"Maybe there is", he said.
"Well, then I'd use the spoon to get out."
"But how did it get in there?"
"What is it with your stupid questions, Merlin?", Arthur asked, already regretting his decision to have interrupted the blissful silence. "Someone would have to put it there, obviously."
"Exactly!"
And now Merlin beamed at him as if he had just solved the greatest mystery in the history of all mankind.
"Has someone ever told you, that you're very weird?"
Merlin completely ignored this comment.
"You just said it, someone would've to put it there."
The King just looked at him, slowly growing a little concerned. Did his manservant have a fever or something? Not that he wasn't talking nonsense on a daily basis, but this had just reached another level.
"You need help", Merlin just chirped.
"Uh-"
"Someone from outside, you see. Someone who's not caught in the bowl."
Arthur just kept staring.
Merlin sighed in exasperation.
"Because, you know, if you're in the bowl, the rims are so high, you can't see what's outside it. All you see is its inside. But someone from the outside, someone who's not in the bowl, can see everything that's around it. For instance, a spoon. Or a rope. You know, I think it'd be even better if that person would find a rope and throw it down to you because a spoon would probably be very slippery too."
The King's brows furrowed.
"And you think my problem is like your stupid bowl?", he asked slowly.
"Yes, Arthur", Merlin said with vigour, approaching the desk again. "If you're so caught up in your problem that you can't focus on anything else, you'll need help from someone who's not stuck in it and can see a lot more ways to solve it."
"Oh."
The grin had vanished from Merlin's face. Instead, it was replaced with a look of sympathy.
Even though he certainly didn't like to admit it, now that it finally dawned on him, where Merlin had been going with his soup bowl, Arthur was actually quite impressed by this analogy. It was brilliant, actually.
He sighed in defeat.
"Well", he said, bracing himself, "I suppose it can't possibly get any worse."
Merlin just waited, looking at him expectantly.
Of course, Arthur had wanted to tell someone, of course, he had longed to ask someone for advice. But he had neither known who to ask, nor how to start, and so he had, just before his idiot of a manservant had stormed into his chambers, decided not to tell anyone. To deal with it alone.
And now – here Merlin was, still looking at him.
Merlin and his stupid soup bowl.
And suddenly, he knew how to start.
"Imagine", he said hesitantly, "imagine you are on a table. A large table. With hundreds of soup bowls."
Arthur did notice the grin his servant fought to keep from his face but he chose to pretend he hadn't.
"And", he continued carefully, "and in these bowls there are hundreds of people, all of them stuck in there. You're the only one who's not in one of these bowls, so you're the only one who can help them out of there. And, what is even worse, all of them actually expect you to get them out of there. At the same time. In the most efficient way."
He paused for a moment.
"Sounds like quite a hard job", Merlin commented.
Arthur gave a humourless chuckle.
"Yes", he said. "It is. Especially, if you have no idea how to help all of these people. How to be just to all of them at the same time. How to take care of every single one, how to decide who to help first, and who might not even deserve your help. And all the while I'm on my own, and I don't know how to do it. I have no idea how I can be a good King for every citizen of Camelot, how to rule this whole kingdom without totally mucking it up. I-"
He stopped again, immediately feeling ashamed at the emotions that had just come bursting out of him.
But as he squinted up at his manservant, Merlin was still looking at him.
"You're scared", he finished the King's sentence.
"I'm not-", but when he saw the understanding in the other man's eyes, Arthur sighed. "Alright, it's true. I'm scared."
There was a moment of silence.
"Huh, I guess my mother was wrong then", Merlin finally stated.
"What are you talking about?"
"There are problems that are as important as they seem."
"Well, great", Arthur commented dryly. "Great that we talked about this."
"No, Arthur, what I'm trying to say is", - he wrung his hands - "I know this must be quite overwhelming for you. The responsibility must weigh down pretty heavy on you. I understand. It's quite – something."
"Yes, Merlin, it is", Arthur sighed, resting his head in his hands. "And sometimes – well, sometimes I just can't help but wonder – what if can't do it? What if I fail? It's not only me who'd be in trouble then, but all these other people whose safety lies in my hands, too."
"But you won't fail", was the immediate response and it came so quickly and with such confidence, that Arthur looked up in surprise.
"Where do you take your faith from?", he asked.
"Well, I know you", Merlin simply answered, returning his gaze. "I've seen you become the man you are. The King you are. I believe in you, Arthur."
For a moment they just looked at each other, and even though Arthur could not quite put it into words, he knew something – some unspoken promise – passed between them.
"Do you know what I believe?", he asked, breaking the spell.
"What?", Merlin asked softly.
"I believe", Arthur continued, getting to his feet, "that this room needs cleaning. Now."
"Ignorant prat", Merlin grumbled but Arthur didn't miss the fond smile that was tugging at his lips.
"You know", the King grinned, as he watched his servant change the sheets of his bed, "I think your soup bowl nonsense wasn't that stupid at all. It was quite good."
"Yeah, you know I've always had the qualities of a poet", Merlin retorted. "It's one of my many talents."
"Well, that would be news to me."
"Talking about talents", Merlin said, ducking behind the bed, "metaphors aren't yours, eh?"
"What are you talking about again?", Arthur asked, frowning.
"Well, you see, you couldn't come up with one yourself and decided to just borrow mine and still got it all wrong."
The King kept quiet, following his servant's movements with his eyes.
"I mean, sure", Merlin continued, still not looking up from his work, "all the people in the bowls are Camelot's people, obviously, but y'know, you do realise that you're not the only one who can help them out, don't you?"
"What?"
And finally, Merlin met his gaze.
"You're not alone, Arthur", he said softly. "You have friends here. Friends, who'd do anything to help you. You know, Gaius, Gwen, your knights. Me." He gave the King a lopsided grin, before returning to the pile of tangled sheets on the floor. "I'll always be there to get you out of your bowl."
For a while Arthur really didn't know what to say – or to think – and he was almost grateful when Merlin made to leave the chambers, his arms full of bed linen. But then a thought struck him.
"Merlin?"
"Yes?"
"Where did you really get the idea with your bowl from? You didn't really come up with this yourself, did you?"
He was surprised to see his servant grin.
"Oh, you see, after so many years of dinner with Gaius you sort of start to think a lot about soup."
He chuckled as he saw the confused look on his King's face, and without another word he slipped through the door, leaving behind a very bemused Arthur.
And when by lunchtime Merlin returned with a huge bowl full of steaming soup, putting in the spoon with quite more emphasis than necessary, Arthur couldn't help but feel that maybe his manservant wasn't such a useless idiot after all.
A/N: Obviously, I do not own Merlin. Besides, is it just me or does anyone else think that Gaius has quite an excessive liking for soup? ;)
Reviews are always welcome.