Megatron fell into a total rage.

He had been in such a good mood from the energon-pumping high of victory against the Autobots. But when he had arrived back at the base, his mechs were not reflecting his mirth. In fact, the returning Decepticons were positively dour.

He glared. He built this faction on his cult of personality. They were supposed to be reflections of him, and right now, they were showing signs of independence.

This. Was. Unacceptable.

Why did everyone care about that pathetic seeker? He wasn't even a warrior anymore. Why did he matter? Megatron had looked around the room at his mechs, and he barely recognized his faction anymore. Gone were the sadistic smirks of mechs who like to cause trouble for the sake of it, and instead, he saw severe faces of mechs who were disappointed about something.

It was like Starscream died, and his ghost infected everyone.

He threw Motormaster against the opposite side of the room. He squeezed and dented Scrapper's wrist in blistering fury. Astrotrain had been roughly batted to the side and was nursing a bad leg.

The seekers wisely kept their distance. Their resemblance to Starscream would not do them any favors at this moment.

Megatron started to yell at everyone again for their idiotic attitude and weakness. No-one stopped him. No one said anything derisive under their breath loud enough for him to hear it. There was not a singular petulant pout among all the faces that stared back at him with wide optics. No one claimed to be a better leader, no one challenged him, no one was left that evenly remotely filled the void left by-

He stopped. He flared his nostrils and released Scrapper's wrist. He took a deep breath to steady himself the looked back at his army.

"I think the Autobots have had my seeker long enough."

There was a raucous yell of agreement, and there, there was the enthusiasm he was looking for. The mechs clapped each other on the back and were smiling wickedly at the thought.

They were of one mind again.

Megatron knew he felt Starscream's absence heavily, probably more than most. And even though the new Starscream was soft and often meek, that also meant he was pliable. Moldable.

He could be… perfect.

Had he been looking at the seekers, he would have seen Skywarp clench his denta and give Thundercracker a sad look. Thundercracker was just glaring.

The tiny home that belonged to this band of neutrals was the worst place Starscream had stayed yet in terms of amenities and… holes. But it also seemed to be the warmest and welcoming.

It was falling apart in some places, and some flight mechs were on top of the hangar roof, trying to fix the holes.

"Damn it," he heard Skyfire say under his breath. "What happened?" he called as they all landed.

"Storm came through," one of the new fliers said, looking up. But upon seeing Starscream, he nearly dropped his hammer. "Is that-"

"Holy slag, it's Starscream!" A few other mechs appeared and were running at him.

Starscream took a nervous step back even though they just looked exuberantly happy to see him. It… was a change, to say the least. But after seeing Mirage again, and being physically manipulated, Starscream… didn't want to be touched right now.

Skyfire stepped in front of him and put up a gentle servo towards them. "Easy," he said gently to the excited fliers. They seemed to calm and just peered at Starscream with smiles.

"It's good to see you," one said warmly.

Something constricted in Starscream's throat. "I- yes. Thank you," he managed, stumbling over his words. Something about their sincerity was affecting him. It reminded him of Skywarp and Bluestreak.

"Hungry?" another flier asked, pulling out a cube and handing it to Skyfire. Skyfire smiled and then turned around to offer it to Starscream.

He looked at it, and even though his tanks were in knots, he accepted it and took a sip. It was good at least, and he nodded in thanks to the fliers. They murmured amongst themselves and then turned to go back to continue fixing the hangar.

"Why are they so… nice?" he asked quietly. "Did I know them?"

Skyfire smiled warmly. "The Aerialbots don't have a lot of role models for fliers other than those of an enemy faction. Now that you are here, well, they are excited to talk to you."

Starscream raised his optic ridges in surprise. Privately he laughed; the seekers he knew as role models? He loved them all dearly, but they were all strong personalities. He gave a wistful smile. He looked back down at his cube and took another sip, and though he was still hungry, he couldn't consume anymore. He was far too anxious.

"What is it you want from me, Skyfire?"

The soft smile Skyfire had on his face vanished. He frowned a little before tilting his helm. "That is actually the first time you have sounded like your old self since I met you," he chuckled. "I'm sorry you've grown so suspicious so quickly."

It sounded a little condescending, but Skyfire was right. He had become suspicious of everyone's motives as a means to protect himself, and he wasn't sure it was a good thing.

"I'm… well. You're right. I'm cautious because as much as I feel I can trust you, I don't actually know your motivations to help me."

"That's very fair," Skyfire replied. "I hope to earn more of your trust through my actions, then. But if you are asking me why I am helping you, it is because I want you to be happy, Starscream." His look pinched a little, and he looked away. "Do you want to rest?"

"I don't think I could until I see this… recording."

Skyfire nodded and beckoned him to follow.

Skyfire led him to a private room in the hangar with a few chairs and a display. They looked crudely made but comfortable and sturdy.

Skyfire's wings were stiff behind him. Nervous.

"Feel free to take a seat," he said as he fiddled with the display settings. Starscream took one of the seats and tried to relax.

The recording flickered on, and there he was, staring back at himself. Starscream's breath caught as he stared at his former self. It was so odd to be looking at him as an echo from the past.

His counterpart was scowling.

"Is this thing even on?" the Starscream in the video asked, narrowing his optics suspiciously. "How do I know it's recording?"

"That little red light? " came a gentle voice from off-camera. It must have been Skyfire. "That means it's on."

"Fine, fine, yes, alright," the Starscream said, waving dismissively at the camera. He glared for a moment longer and then huffed. "This is stupid, you know that, right? I'm talking to myself- "

Starscream tilted his helm. He was immediately enraptured by the mech on screen that was him but at the same time was very, very different from him.

"I think it will be helpful," Skyfire interrupted.

"You think. You don't know. You don't know anything - maybe I'll hate you- maybe you won't even ever see me again." The Starscream paused, his face falling a little before he looked down at his servos. "At all."

"Yes. That is a possibility. " The disembodied voice sighed. "Why don't you want to stay here? With… me?"

The Starscream on the tape's optics softened but only slightly. "That's not a choice I can make. Megatron's not going to let me play house with you just because you asked nicely. Besides, I don't belong here."

"But I could help you. I could take care of you." Skyfire sounded so sad on the tape; it actually hurt Starscream's spark to hear it.

"Skyfire," the Starscream said, barely containing his irritation. "I'm not an Autobot. I'm not. I'm not going to inflict their philosophies on my new self, but if he wants to join the Autobots later, he can make his own decision. But, despite everything, the Decepticon cause is still something I believe in, and so that is where I- he will start. I won't have the Autobots corrupting me- him- ugh, that is so annoying."

Starscream could hear Skyfire sigh sadly on the video. He flicked his optics to the Skyfire who was watching the recording with him, and Starscream noted that his face was a mask of blankness, but he also looked… tragically sad.

"Hello, future self," the Starscream finally said on the tape. He was looking directly at the camera now, and Starscream actually felt like he was directly addressed. It gave him a shiver down his spine. "If you see this, then that means you found Skyfire again- which is good. You can trust Skyfire. But it also probably means things didn't work out with the Decepticons." He huffed a bitter laugh. "No surprise there. It was worth a shot.

"I hope Skywarp and Thundercracker at least tried to rise to the occasion. I like to think, given time, I could have fixed what happened there between us, but I'm not a fool prone to optimism. I want to believe they will try, though.

"I can't know for sure, you see. I have a strange relationship with the Decepticons, who both hate me and need me around, but… maybe because of what happened, they'll be pleasant. Even Megatron says he'll try his best- and that's a laugh." At the mention of Megatron's name, the Starscream's voice turned hollow and bitter. His optics looked away for a moment, and he was clearly thinking through some memories. Starscream wished this old Starscream had said them out loud. He thought he could see the knowledge he so wanted just beyond his reach, but now there was no way to get it.

"I'm not going to say sorry as I don't believe in apologizing for something that's not my fault. That being said… everyone has made choices, myself included, and that led us to me being taken off the board. These choices led to you living with a frame that does not listen or obey you and a processor that is far too accommodating to other mechs. You got dealt a bad hand in that.

"I can't imagine what it must be like to be you. And I left you with all of my… plots unrealized, and I'm sure you resent me a little. I'm leaving you alone on the battlefield without any means to defend yourself.

"But... you aren't completely defenseless, are you?" he smirked. "I bet you have them eating out of your servos. We are survivalists, you and I. I doubt a lack of memories is going to change that."

Despite the situation, Starscream found himself smiling a little at his double on the recording.

"I have something for you if you want it," the old Starscream continued. "It might not actually be a blessing, so keep that in mind. But I'm offering it to you all the same." He took a deep invent and gave a slight, furtive glance at Skyfire off-screen.

"Right now, I am sitting in an Autobot brig about to be walked back to the Decepticons and have my memory erased after an, ugh, I don't know, are we calling this an accident?" he asked rhetorically. He shrugged his shoulders unhelpfully. "It was Jazz and Prowl messing with forces beyond their understanding in an attempt to find an end to the war.

"Everyone hopes to end this fragging war, and they will go to any lengths to do so. So permanently disabling a high-ranking Decepticon seeker is not a huge problem… however," he said, pulling back and folding his arms across his chest. "I am highly attuned to changes in the political landscape, and something feels… different about what they did and how they reacted to the consequences. Things have been in such a stalemate for so long; maybe this… event will shock everyone out of it. I hope you find a way to manipulate it."

There was another long pause and a sigh.

"Right before we turned on this recording," he started slowly, "Skyfire managed to copy my memories. If he is showing you this video, it means he still has them. So. What this means is if you want, you can have my… our memories back."

Starscream froze, his vents stilling.

"Unfortunately, these memories will replace whatever memories you have gathered so far. Functionally, you as you are would cease to exist. I would take your place."

Blessedly, the Starscream on the video stopped for a moment, perhaps guessing that his future self would be reeling from the news. And he was. It was like he had ice running through his lines, and he was quickly numbing from the implications.

"However," the Starscream continued. "You should understand; I am conflicted about this. I'm not going to try and manipulate you or even convince you of this course of action, though I'm sure I could, even from beyond the grave." His smile was not exactly kind, but it wasn't cruel either. "It is entirely your decision. We would install me back into your frame, and I would take over where you left off."

He seemed to stare at something off-camera.

"I don't know what kind of life you are leading, but I'm not actually sure I want it either. I am proud. Arrogant. Independent. And I am honestly frightened by what you have lived through these past… whatever. However long it has taken you to get here. I hope it is more than a few days, but I hope it has not been years. Especially if you are suffering." His voice and optics were softer. "We have suffered a great deal, future self. I hope you were somewhat spared.

"I can already feel it starting to affect my emotions. I'm not able to get angry, and in truth, that is who I am. I am anger and rage, and the thought of having my memories back to remind me of all the slag I've put up with, but then I couldn't even get angry about it? All while not being able to control my frame? Not able to defend myself, use violence even if it was inflicted upon me?

"I can't fathom this. I would rather die. I would choose death over the life you are leading."

There was another long pause as the weight of his statement settled.

Starscream saw Skyfire reach out and stop the playback. Then there was a gentle touch of a servo on top of his, and Starscream realized he had been trembling. "Do you need a break?" Skyfire asked softly.

He couldn't quite get his vocalizer to work. In truth, his mind was faltering, and he was overwhelmed, but he couldn't even think of stopping now. Starscream needed all of the information he could gather as he was finally getting answers that he so desperately wanted and needed. So he shook his helm, and Skyfire gave him a light squeeze of his servo before pressing play again.

"But maybe that's how you feel. Maybe you hate your life just as much as I think I would. Maybe you are done and want me to take responsibility for the life I threw you into, and that… might be fair." He shrugged, and Starscream thought he saw his optics shining in the light of the brig. "Screw Megatron and his stupid plan to keep me and my secrets' safe.'

"So I will give you this choice. If you are done… I will take over. I'll figure out a way to live though I may not want to. We can't let this universe be deprived of Starscream. We are a gift." But then his gaze became thoughtful.

"But maybe you are a better mech than me. Maybe you will decide you don't want my memories at all, and I wouldn't blame you. It can't be easy to have cleaned up my messes that I've left behind, but maybe you have found a way. And now this life is yours, and you want to keep it."

The Starscream in the video leaned back, crossing his arms across his cockpit. His face was flickering through some emotions, and Starscream only recognized some of them. Unconsciously, he folded his own arms across his cockpit in a similar fashion.

"So. You have choices to make. And I should warn you: though you can trust Skyfire, you can't ask him to help you make this decision. He is biased because he is in love with me."

The Skyfire on the tape made a noise, and the Starscream smiled fondly. "He's an idiot. It would be so much easier if he just hated me like everyone else."

"Not everyone hates you-"

"Perhaps not," he said with a sad smile. "But enough do."

There was another long pause, and then he continued. "It's bad luck that got us here. Hopefully, you'll have better luck than me."

He stared into the middle distance, and then his wings twitched irritably.

"How do you turn this thing off?"

"You just need to press this little button here."

"What, this?" the old Starscream said, leaning in to press a button on the camera. But it appeared he either clicked the wrong one or actually didn't turn it off. After he thought the video was over, his presence wilted, and his wings fell behind him.

"This is so stupid. It was a waste of time."

"It wasn't. If there is a small chance that this could work, I have to try."

Starscream was staring at him beyond the camera. He squinted and then tilted his helm down to look at the floor. "You're going to need to take this memory too so that Hook and them don't see it when they start everything."

"I know ."

The old Starscream shifted a little, looking uncomfortable. He grimaced and then changed his face into something more carefully amused and smirking. "You could always try and start-up something with the new me. I'm sure he'll find you very attractive and incredibly appealing all over again."

Starscream blushed and suddenly felt like an interloper, like he wasn't meant to see this intimacy between them. He looked to the Skyfire next to him, who wasn't really paying attention. He was watching the Starscream on the recording with soft optics.

"I don't think I could do that to you. It would feel like a betrayal. "

The Starscream on the tape smirked. "As an expert on traitorous acts, I can assure you, this would not be even close to a betrayal, Skyfire," he admonished. "I'll be effectively dead. What am I going to do, haunt you?"

Skyfire then appeared on-screen through some bars, leaning through them to kiss Starscream's old self. "I believe I have some experience with being a traitor as well," Skyfire murmured, tilting his helm against him. "I just don't want anyone else."

"You're a sap."

Skyfire chuckled. "I am. I'm sorry."

"Ugh. Apologizing for something that you clearly can't help because I am truly amazing-"

The recording stopped as the Skyfire next to him slowly pressed the button at the console. Skyfire kept his back to Starscream for a long time, and when he did finally turn around, he smiled. Starscream hadn't even noticed that he had gotten up as he was so engrossed in seeing how his old self talked.

It was strange to be looking at a mech he had clearly cared for not too long ago but feel next to nothing for him now. He couldn't imagine how painful it must be for Skyfire to look at him and see his Starscream, but Starscream had no recognition for him back. Skyfire must be an emotionally strong mech to be able to navigate this situation without breaking down.

But Starscream was… conflicted. He had a flare of fear wrap around his spark, threatening to choke him.

"Is this why you brought me here? To bring back your dead lover?"

Skyfire's smile became brittle as he pulled a servo up to his optics. "No," he replied raggedly. "I brought you here," he said with a shaky breath, "to fulfill a promise I made to him and your trine." He let his servo fall, and Starscream could see washer fluid starting to cascade down his cheek. "I want you to be happy," Skyfire said sadly. "Even if it means I never get what I want."

Starscream grimaced and tried to hold back his own tears. "Do I need to make this decision now?" he asked brokenly. "Because if so, then go ahead and-"

"No," Skyfire said forcefully. "No, you do not need to make this decision now. You can take as much time as you need."

Starscream didn't feel any better. "You could force me."

"I would never do that."

"But I wouldn't even remember. You could have what you want, and no one would know."

Skyfire knelt onto the ground, next to Starscream's chair, so that they were more optic to optic. "You are anxious that I am not going to give you a choice. I promise I am not going to do this against your will, Starscream. Things are still evil even if no one knows you have done it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. "

Starscream regarded Skyfire for a long time and eventually sighed. "Does anyone else know?"

"No. Just you and me."

Starscream nodded and tried to keep his face impassive. He was happy that his memories existed, but he didn't like what he would have to do to get them.

He pulled his servos up to his face and held them there. His breathing had become labored as he tried to process all of this. This was too big of a decision.

Part of him wanted to be done. Let someone else deal with the petty politics of Megatron and Prime; he was ready to step away from it all. He didn't have the knowledge or the strength to eke out the existence that he wanted, and frankly, no faction had really shown themselves to be willing to help him. The old Starscream could deal with not being able to control his own frame or life.

But at the same time… he wasn't sure he was ready to go. He had gained things with his tiny little existence with Thundercracker, Skywarp, Bluestreak… Shockwave...

"And there is no way to install his memories without erasing mine?"

Skyfire put a gentle servo on his shoulder. "You are incompatible with the old memories now; there would be too many conflicts. We would have to reformat your memory again to start over."

Starscream sat in silence for a little while, thinking so hard that his processor began to hurt. "What do you see when you look at me? A thief, running around in your old lover's frame?"

"Oh, no. Not a thief. I see his heir and successor," Skyfire replied. "And you have your own life, your own thoughts, and your own well-being to think about."

Starscream nodded absently. He desperately wanted to be comforted at that moment, but he didn't dare seek it from Skyfire just because of how things used to be between them.

"I'll need some time, then," he said, finally. He was suddenly exhausted and just wanted to recharge for… centuries.

"Of course," Skyfire replied, removing his servo from his shoulder and standing to his full height. "I don't want you to feel pressured, so think it over."

Starscream nodded. "So… what happens now?"

Skyfire watched him for a few moments. "I think it would be best if you got some recharge. I have some quiet quarters for you. They aren't the most fancy, but they are comfy." He walked to the door, and Starscream eventually got up to follow.

Skyfire escorted him and said some warm words of encouragement before leaving him alone.

Starscream crawled into the berth and lay down on his side, trying to stop thinking before recharge finally took him.