A/N: This is set in the episode The Disir, on the morning after Mordred's recovery.

"-and then I need you to help the other servants prepare the great hall. But only after you polished the ceremonial sword, is this understood? It's an important day, Merlin, I don't want you to ruin it. So, for once, you should be on time. Oh, and you will firstly empty the bathtub, I can't have it standing around here all day."

Finally, the king of Camelot emerged from behind his changing screen.

Only to find his servant staring into nothingness.

"Merlin?" Arthur prodded him.

Obviously startled, Merlin shook his head.

"Uh – sorry?"

Impatiently, Arthur rolled his eyes.

"See?", he scolded. "This is exactly the kind of behaviour I really don't need today. I just told you how important this is. And what are you doing again?"

Merlin blinked.

"Nothing!", Arthur answered his own question in exasperation. "Honestly Merlin, you really are pretty useless, aren't you?"

He strode over to his wardrobe.

"So, for a simpleton like you to understand it", he hissed, throwing clothes everywhere. "I want you to empty the stupid bathtub, then you see how the work in the kitchens is coming along, then I want you to go and help with the preparations of the great hall and…"

His voice trailed off when he realised, that the other man seemed to not have listened to a single of his words once more. His eyes had taken on a rather far-away look again.

Supressing a growl at his servant's uselessness, Arthur grabbed for one of his pillows and flung it at Merlin.

He had meant to snap him out of his stupor, maybe startle him a bit. But what Arthur had most certainly not expected, was to see him flinch so violently that he lost his balance for a second – however, this second was long enough for him to stumble over his own feet and then to crash backwards into the stupid bathtub – the still very much filled bathtub.

"Merlin!"

In an instance, he was at his side. The whole chambers were flooded with water, some of his paperwork hopelessly drenched. But the king's concern was for his spluttering and soaking servant.

"Can't you watch where you put your feet?", Arthur scorned, trying to ignore the guilty feeling.

"Sorry", Merlin spluttered, finally getting himself out of the tub, causing another wave of water to splash onto the floor. "I'm sorry. I'll clean this up, I'm sorry."

He raced for the antechamber just next to Arthur's rooms and returned with a mop – and a tiny bucket.

"Merlin?"

He didn't reply but just set to work.

"Merlin."

Still, Merlin didn't react, he furiously started to wipe up the water.

"Merlin!" Definitely not worried, Arthur grabbed for the mop and snatched it out of Merlin's hands. "Stop that, you idiot, you're only making it worse!"

"But-"

"Trying to wipe up this mess while you are dripping water everywhere isn't exactly the best idea, you know?"

"I-" Merlin blinked a few times, taking in the scene in front of him, seemingly for the first time. "Oh."

"What's wrong with you?", Arthur frowned, leaning the mop against the wall. "You haven't been listening to a word I said – well, not that this would be too unusual, come to think of it."

"Oh no, these look important", Merlin said, his eyes on the soaked papers on the king's desk.

"Looked", Arthur corrected grumpily. "They looked important. Now they're ruined."

Careful not to slip on the wet floor, he made his way over to the vast table and took a look at the hours of paperwork – the wasted hours of paperwork. The ink on most parchments had already begun to blur and most words already weren't distinguishable any longer.

"Great", Arthur said sarcastically. "That'll be another day of writing stupid reports."

"I'm sorry, Arthur", Merlin said contritely. "Maybe I can fix it."

"What do you want to fix about this, Merlin? They're ruined." Arthur flung the heap of sticky and wet papers back onto his desk. Trying to control his temper, he turned towards the window. "It's hopeless."

"No, maybe it's not", Merlin insisted. "Maybe I can-"

Arthur spun around at his servant's yelp but it was too late already. By the time he had realised what was happening, he was already soaked to the bone and Merlin was sitting in the half-filled bathtub – again.

"Merlin, you absolute idiot!" Angrily, Arthur rounded his desk again. "You really are a walking disaster! I have never met anyone as accident-prone as you! Sometimes I wonder how you manage to even stay alive! Good heavens, now, would you finally get out of that damn tub and empty it! Before I have to go to bed by boat tonight."

However, Merlin just stayed where he was, dripping wet, legs dangling over the rims of the bathtub and shivering. And then his whole composure seemed to crumble. He seemed to slump even further into himself, his head buried into his hands.

"What's wrong with you?", Arthur asked once more, not quite able to keep the concern from his voice. "Did you hurt yourself again?"

Still, he received no reply. That was, until he heard the sniff.

"Merlin?"

And then he burst into tears. Just like that, sitting in the bathtub, in the middle of the flooded mess, with Arthur staring at him in sheer horror.

He was crying. Merlin was crying. What the hell was he supposed to do about this? He could deal with an angry Merlin, or an annoyingly cheerful Merlin – hell, even a sulking Merlin was better than a crying, upset Merlin.

For a few moments, Arthur did nothing, trying to figure out what on earth he was going to do.

"Damn it, Merlin, get out of that tub", he finally growled, and deciding that it didn't exactly matter anymore anyway, seeing that he was drenched himself, he grabbed his manservant's arms and hoisted him out of the – now at least almost empty – bathtub. "Sit down." He pushed him down into his chair. The whole room was wet, Merlin with his soaked clothes couldn't possibly make it any worse.

"When I said I wanted you to empty the tub, I didn't mean it like that, you know."

Trying to regain his composure, Merlin wiped at his eyes with the hem of his jacket – seeing as the jacket was dripping wet too, it didn't exactly do much good, more in the contrary.

"Wait."

Arthur made his way towards one of his commodes, searched for a few seconds, and returned to his servant's side with a thankfully dry handkerchief.

"I'm sorry", Merlin finally said, his breath only hitching a little as he fidgeted with the handkerchief. "I – I didn't mean – it's just I tripped over the stupid bucket and I kind of – I kind of have a lot on my mind lately."

Arthur raised his eyebrows, but due to the other man's obvious distress, he bit back the sarcastic remark and instead just sat down next to him.

"And what is it that you have on your mind?", he asked.

Merlin just shook his head, not meeting his eyes.

"Nothing important."

"It obviously is."

"Well, but it doesn't matter", Merlin insisted. "I can't change it anyway."

They sat in silence for a while.

"You know", Arthur started, "someone once told me that you should always talk about what troubles you. That you shouldn't keep your problems to yourself. Because someone who's not caught up in the problem might find other ways to solve it."

At this, Merlin finally looked up, glaring at him. Arthur grinned back.

"This is not fair", the servant muttered defiantly.

"Exactly", Arthur agreed. "I don't see why it would be fair for you to trick me into sharing my secrets with you and your stupid soup bowls while you get to keep them to yourself."

Immediately, Merlin's eyes filled with new tears. Had he said something wrong?

"Come on, Merlin", Arthur scorned, slowly growing impatient. "What is it?"

He received no reply.

"Honestly, why don't you just let me help you out of your bowl?" He fought off the grin again. "Or maybe you're not stuck in a soup bowl but rather a whole bathtub, right?"

The death glare Merlin sent at him was indicator enough for the king to see that his manservant was not amused.

"Too early?"

Merlin only huffed at this, but Arthur didn't miss the muttered "prat".

"Now, spit it out."

For a second, Merlin seemed to hesitate. Then, he slowly opened his mouth.

"Did you ever – did you ever make a really bad decision?"

The question caught Arthur off guard.

"What?"

"I mean-", Merlin said with quivering voice, not meeting his gaze, "did you ever make a decision that later turned out to have been really, really bad?"

Arthur raised his eyebrows.

"Obviously."

"No, you don't understand!", Merlin said heavily, finally looking up at him. "I'm talking about the worst decision you could ever make. So bad that – that it might harm someone you really, really care about."

"I think I do understand, Merlin", Arthur said, a little surprised by this outburst. "I've made such a decision."

Now it was the servant's turn to look surprised.

"When?"

"My father."

That was all it took for understanding to dawn on Merlin's face – closely followed by guilt. Wait, guilt?

"I was the one who decided to let that sorcerer kill him."

"It wasn't your fault", Merlin mumbled, his gaze back on the handkerchief in his hands.

"It was my decision", Arthur said heavily. "And a very bad one. So", he took a steadying breath, "I do know this situation, Merlin. Now what? However bad your decision might have been, I bet it won't kill anyone, will it?"

"I think it might."

Arthur felt himself frown at his servant's quiet reply.

"What?", he asked, disbelieving. "What kind of decision could you have made that might kill someone?"

He was shocked to see new tears welling up in Merlin's eyes.

"I was stupid", he snivelled. "I was absolutely stupid. I – I should've seen, but I didn't and now-"

"Merlin", Arthur tried. "Whatever it is, I bet you didn't mean to."

The other one just kept silent.

"Is this person already dead?"

"No."

"Is he or she in immediate danger of dying?"

A shake of his head.

"Then what is all this about? If nothing has happened so far, you can still redo it. Fix the mistake."

"No!" Had Merlin just wailed? "I – I think this time, I can't, Arthur! Not this time! It's over. I – I failed."

"How would you know?"

"I – I can't … I just … I know it."

Slowly but steadily, Arthur had to admit that he was righteous worried.

"Now, listen here." He grabbed Merlin's shaking shoulders and waited for him to lift his teary eyes. "I want you to listen carefully now. You do not give up, do you understand? Whoever this person is you're talking about – if you really care so much for them, then surely you won't give up on them, will you? If the person is still alive, then - Merlin! You'll try everything. Anything, alright, to make it okay. You'll fight, and you won't despair, not as long as there is hope!"

"There's no hope", Merlin whispered, and Arthur was certain it should be forbidden to look so pained.

"Then you'll try anyway", Arthur growled, gripping the slim shoulders even harder. "Because you can't give up. Never. And even if it's too late, even if you really can't do anything – at least you'll know then, that you've tried anything you could. At least you'll know that you didn't just sit by and did nothing. You'll know you didn't fail the person. As long as you have a chance to do something, Merlin, do it. Use it. Because it'll be far worse if you don't."

A single tear was running down the servant's face, but his eyes were full of wonder as he looked up at Arthur. The king slowly loosened his grip and sat back in his own chair, trying to regain control about his far too heavy breathing.

For a while both men just sat there, in midst of the flooded room, both dripping wet and shivering.

"I, uh, I better clean this up then", Merlin finally mumbled, scrambling to his feet and wiping the last remnants of his tears away.

"Yes, but don't break your neck", Arthur scoffed, following him with his eyes.

He watched as Merlin took his time to take in the mess he had caused.

"I guess I'll need another bucket."

He carefully made for the door.

"Um, and Arthur?"

"Yes, Merlin?"

"Thanks", he said, smiling uncertainly. "Thanks for – you know", he tilted his head, "for getting me out of my bathtub."

Arthur tried to fight off the grin. And failed.

"Any time", he smirked.

Merlin nodded hastily, and made to open the door.

"Merlin?"

He stopped.

"This person you were talking about", Arthur started. "This person must mean a great deal to you."

"Yeah", Merlin said, not turning around. "Yeah, quite."

"Must be someone great then."

"He's the greatest of all."

Arthur just smiled at that.

"I hope he knows how much he means to you."

"I – I'm sure he does."

"And I hope he appreciates it."

"Oh." And now he could almost hear the grin in his servant's voice. "I think so. Even though he's pretty bad at showing it."

"Then how do you know?"

And finally, Merlin turned to face him. He was indeed grinning, and even his eyes seemed to have regained their usual glint.

"Because he's also pretty bad at hiding it."