Oh, the light was so bright. It hurt as I opened my eyes and rolled over, burring my head in my pillow. Damn, what was it about being hurt that makes you so sleepy? Probably all the people who come and visit and never stop talking. It's like a defense mechanism or something.
I glanced across the room. Kyou was still sitting there, at the table in the room we shared, watching me. I think the thought I was still asleep. Yuki had come and visited me a lot, and had become my life line. He was the only person I could talk to without worrying about saying something that would let others know the truth.
"Curna-san? How are you feeling?" I heard Yuki's voice. He was sitting in a chair, next to the bed.
"Hi." I said softly, so Kyou couldn't hear.
"What is it?" Yuki asked, at the same volume.
"I'm going to try and fix... some of the damage today. It might get ugly, so you don't have to stay."
Yuki looked surprised, but then he nodded. "I'm behind you, Curna-san."
"Kyou?" I asked.
"His head shot up. Then he slowly turned to look at me. "What?"
"When I said... that stuff, I was needlessly harsh. Can you please forgive me for my cruel words?" The cruelness that was necessary before.
"You expect me to... just accept your apology and be happy with it? I don't like being a toy, Shawna. I thought you were... different." Kyou said, his voice ice. I winced.
"Kyou, I'm... I'm sorry." I whispered, my words sounding weak to even my own ears.
"No, Shawna. No! I loved you. You were my life, my everything. Do you know what it's like to see that your everything used you... that your everything never even loved you back!" Kyou jumped up and went to slam his fist into the table.
Suddenly, Yuki was next to him, grabbing his wrist, preventing it from colliding with the table. "She loved you more than you will ever know." Yuki said in a low, even, and deadly tone.
Kyou searched his eyes for any sign of lying or joke, and when Yuki was sure he had found none, he released Kyou's wrist and left the room. Kyou sank limply down into his chair. I didn't know what else to say, so we just sat there in silence.
"Tell me why." Kyou said, finally.
"Why what?" I replied, jolted out of my dazed state.
"Why you hurt me, why you chose that moment, that day to tell me those things. I KNOW it wasn't because I was just a toy for you to play with. Tell me the real reason." Kyou looked at me, his expression unreadable.
"I- what I said was the truth." I said. I stared at my hands.
"Why then?" He requested again.
"It just sort of burst out, you know?" That was sort of the truth. The lies had burst from my mouth desperately.
"I know when your lying to me, Shawna." Kyou said. 'No you don't' I thought.
"Why did you stay with me the entire time I was out?" I decided to change the subject.
"Because it's my room! And... I love you." Kyou stared down. Then he looked up and came towards me, tears about to stream down his face. "I was afraid Shawna. So afraid..." He had arrived by the side of my bed and was reaching for my face. I didn't pull away. I wanted him to touch me. He slowly caressed my cheek before speaking again. "I was afraid at every moment that I was going to lose you." Kyou leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I could taste his salty tears on them, and it made me want to cry, too.
I couldn't take it. If he kept kissing me, I would forget everything and tell him the entire story, even more than I had told Yuki. As much as I hated myself for it, I pushed him away. "Don't..." I whispered.
"Tell me you won't disappear." Kyou said, holding my face in his hands. "I don't care if you love me or not! I just want you near me." His voice became almost frantic.
'Of course I would never leave you! I love you more than anything else in the universe! I will ALWAYS be by your side. That's what love is, right? Not only thinking about yourself, but another as well? That's why I'm doing this! It's because I love you that i must stay away from you. I could never allow my selfish desires to cause you harm. So, I will protect you with every fiber in my being, my love.' My mind screamed. I knew I couldn't say those words that my mind longed to, but I sure as hell wanted to. Instead, I stuttered out, "I-I can't make that promise."
I saw pain flash across Kyou's face, and i wanted to cry. I knew I was doing the right thing. I couldn't have Uncle Mitch coming BACK to Japan.
"Please. All I want is to feel your presence. Please." I had never heard Kyou beg before. I was shocked.
"Where do you expect me to go, anyway? I'm pretty much stuck in the bed for 2 weeks, the house for a month or so, and even when that time is up, where else would I live?" I looked away. I couldn't face him right now.
So weeks passed uneventfully, and I was soon wandering around the house, casts and all. Everyone seemed to think that I needed help, which was quite annoying. I was fine on my own. Hatori came to give me regular check-ups, but i think he came so often to talk to Dean. The two were polar opposites, yet they got along like they'd been friends since birth. Even Shigure admitted that Dean managed to 'bring out Hatori's inner boy' that, apparently, he hadn't even had when he was a boy. Well, that's Dean for you.
Even though everyone was being kind to me, and I was healing nicely, I wasn't happy. I had a lot on my mind, and didn't know if I should tell anyone or not. Finally it got to the point at which i couldn't stand it, and decided to confide in Yuki.
"Yuki?" I asked.
"Yeah?" He continued writing, wrinkling his nose in concentration.
"If I tell you something, will you promise not to laugh at me?" I fidgeted nervously.
"I would never laugh at you, Curna-san." Yuki finally looked up from his homework.
"I want my happiness back, Yuki." I began, but didn't continue.
"It is natural to want your happiness, Curna-san. Is that all this is about?" He smiled at me.
"No. You don't understand. I want my happiness so bad, that I'll do anything to attain it once again." Again, I couldn't continue.
"Is your happiness not Kyou?" Yuki questioned.
"Yes. Kyou is my happiness." I was trying to think of a way to put my thoughts into words without sounding insane.
"Well, in a way, Kyou is still with you, just not... romantically with you." Yuki's cheeks tinged pink as he said this.
"Yes, but I can't be happy with my happiness until I can hold my happiness and not worry about consequences." No... there was no way I could say it that i wouldn't sound nuts. "I want to break the curse, Yuki." I said it determinedly, but bit my bottom lip as Yuki stared at me, open-mouthed.
"Curna-san... If you know a way to break the curse... If you can free us, I... I would be grateful to you for as long as I lived." Yuki spoke seriously.
"I don't know anything set in stone, but I have some ideas. If this works, we'd finally be able to lead normal lives, governing ourselves. It would be awesome." I stared off into space, lost in my thoughts.
"If there's anything i can do to help, tell me." Yuki suddenly sounded determined. He was behind me 100.
"If I'm right, we're going to need every single Zodiac member from our families to do something. Do you think there is a way to do that?" I asked.
"We could... just I think we'd need help. I can think of a few people from my family we can trust, what about you?" Yuki replied.
"Lilah and Dean. They'd be all for it, I'm sure." I nodded.
"You get them, and I'll call Hatsuharu and Momiji. Then we'll think of something." Yuki jumped up and dashed off like someone had lit a fire under his butt.
I was glad I would have help with my plan. When Yuki and I had gathered our four 'followers', I stood in front of them and addressed them with a serious face.
"You four are Yuki and my own most trusted relatives and friends. We brought you here to discuss a topic we hope you will agree with." I paused, letting my words sink in. Taking a deep breath, I began again. "If all goes according to plan, we will be free individuals."
There reactions were the desired ones. Shocked approval. "But how?" Lilah thought to ask.
"I have an idea, but it sounds so simple that it sounds stupid. I think all we need to do is defy the head of our families." I searched my cohort's eyes, one by one, nervously.
"Easier said than done. You know we're bound to do what Uncle Mitch says, and we can't defy him." Dean pointed out. Nobody could defy their 'God'.
"Yes, that is true. But if we wish to be free, then we must do it. And I think the key is Tohru Honda." Again, I surveyed their faces.
"How is Tohru the key?" Momiji asked. He'd been unusually quiet.
"She's never going to go to the New Year's Eve banquet, right?" They all nodded. "Yuki has explained to me how Akito has been trying to draw you all away from Tohru every chance he gets. Apparently, he has spread his dislike of he to Uncle Mitch somehow. At least that's the report I got from Becky. So I figure that if we tell the heads of our families that we are going to spend New Years with Tohru, they'll give us a direct order to come the to New Year's banquet." I explained my theory.
"There is a downside to this plan, Shawny. What if it doesn't work? Then we'll have sit through a torturous night, missed the banquet, and angered the heads of our families by disobeying a direct order. I don't know about you guys," Lilah looked at the Sohmas, "But Uncle Mitch would make Shawny's current injuries look like mere scratches." Lilah finished, looking at me sadly.
"But there is the chance it WILL work. Would you be willing to take that chance if it could mean freedom?" I asked, my eyes boring into her.
After a moment, she nodded. "Yes. I'll call and tell Uncle Mitch that You, Dean, and I are planning on spending New Year's with Tohru. He likes me the best out of the three of us. I heard he was planning on bringing the family out here because Shoji refused to fly to the states this year." Lilah pulled out her cell phone and dialed the main house. Uncle Mitch's secretary was Rebecca, or Becky, the cow. She was nice, but had a big mouth and couldn't keep a secret. "Hey, Becky, what's up?" Lilah spoke into her phone. "Yeah, can I speak directly to Uncle Mitch, sweetie? It's important. Thanks, love. Hi-ya Uncle Mitch! It's Lilah. I just thought you should know ahead of time that Shawna, Dean and myself are planning on spending New Year's with Tohru. Yes, yes, that would be Tohru Honda. Oh. Oh, really? Are you sure? Well, then, yes sir. I'll see you this New Year's." Lilah hung up the phone and stated, "We officially have summons to the New Year's Eve banquet. He said we're not allowed to be spending time with Tohru that we should be spending with him, 'even that cat'." She imitated Uncle Mitch's voice and then grinned happily.
"Yeah! What about you guys?" I turned to the Sohmas.
"Well, you've already been summoned, Yuki, along with Kyou." Hatsuharu stated.
"What? Why?" Yuki asked.
"Because you skipped last year to be with her. Akito even wants Kyou. He really wants her to be alone." Hatsuharu replied.
"Well, don't tell Kyou, and that's a person who we've freed without him even knowing. But what about you guys?" Yuki asked.
"We'll just say we want to keep Tohru company because you guys can't!" Momiji said, excitedly.
"Let's hope this works." Dean said, looking down.
"It will." I said with determination in my voice I didn't feel in my heart. We were all afraid.
Three weeks passed too fast. Our families left the house, looking at us funny because we refused to leave. Hatsuharu and Momiji arrived. We settled in for our test, and by the time Tohru got home, we actually had dinner cooking. But that doesn't mean that it didn't feel like we were ripping something out of ourselves by not going to the banquets. In all honesty, Tohru's happy face to see that we were ALL going to stay with her was enough to motivate us to stay.
:-P
YAYS! Long long chapter! heart heart Anywhos, do you think this should work? Hehe. I have two different endings planed, depending on what you guys say. So vote. Worky or no worky. I like letting you guys decide stuffs. It makes it all that more fun. Bye- bye!