Not Another Ninja!

Disclaimer – Naruto stuffies are not Leah's. Neither is the other random stuff that she puts in here.

A/n – DAMN YOU NARUTO ANIME! The filler was supposed to be over now, but sob IT ISN'T! But is it just me, or is this filler arc slightly better than the others? Or have our standards for Naruto just gone through the complete bottom?

Chapter Eleven – Drastic Measures: Part Four

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"SIEGE!"

"Shut up, idiot! This is supposed to be an ambush! How can we ambush them if you're busy screaming!"

"Well, you're not one to talk!"

"Well, neither are you!"

"Both of you shut up before I stab you!"

"What if we stab you first?"

"All three of you shut up before I crush you in sand!"

"KAGE MANE NO JUTSU!"

Naruto, Leah, Ino, and Gaara stopped in their tracks, Leah still retaining enough control to flip Shikamaru off before she completely fell into his technique.

"As if this weren't troublesome enough."

Noticing the sand swirling around him, Shikamaru had enough common sense to release Gaara from his shadow. This was definitely a good move.

"Now, now, children," Anko said in a very adult like way, however OOC it was for her, "We need to calm down, ne?"

Leah glared at Anko.

Anko glared back. "Now, is that very mature?"

"I've got the cell phone."

"Dammit, you're right. Shikamaru, let her go."

"No."

Anko walked up to our favorite little genius chuunin. "I'm sorry, I must have heard you wrong," she said sweetly, fingering a kunai, "I'm certain you just said, 'Of course, Anko-sensei, I will do anything you say, because if I don't, I am liable to be stabbed in my sleep.' That is what you said, correct?"

Shikamaru gulped, and released his jutsu.

Anko patted his head. "Good boy."

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"Sasuke-kun, where are we going?"

"Oh, Sakura-san, your search for knowledge is truly youthful! I deeply approve!"

Had it been anyone but Sasuke speaking, Sakura would be sweatdropping like crazy.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun! The flames of your youth have truly exploded! I feel so honored to know you!"

"LEE-SAN!"

"SASUKE-KUN!"

Our two very youthful shinobi hugged each other, and started anime-crying in a very dramatic manner.

Sakura only stared. Then blinked. Then glomped both the boys.

'YOU ARE SO RIGHT, I FEEL MORE YOUTHFUL THAN EVER!"

The Lee virus had struck again!

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"MY BOLOGNA HAS A FIRST NAME, IT'S O-S-C-A-R! MY BOLOGNA HAS A SECOND NAME, IT'S M-E-Y-E-R! I LIKE TO EAT IT EVERY DAY, AND IF YOU ASK ME WHY I'LL SAAAAAAAAAAAY! 'CAUSE OSCAR MEYER HAS A WAY WITH B-O-L-O-G-N-A!"

"SHUT UP!"

"But I'm bored!"

"Would you rather be dead?"

"….I'm not bored anymore."

"Good! Problem solved!"

Everyone crowded around in shock. Anko had actually solved a problem! One in a row! It's a new record!

Thirty seconds later, Naruto started humming the same song.

"SHUT UP!" Anko screamed, then went dead silent. "DAMMIT! YOU GOT IT STUCK IN MY HEAD!"

Soon everyone in the group was infected! No matter what they did, they couldn't stop thinking about the bologna song!

Soon, Leah got annoyed, and whipped out THE ALL POWERFUL CELL PHONE!

She went onto her wireless internet, and downloaded quality and definitely completely legal music!

Turning her volume up all the way, she turned a song on and sang along in her… amazing… singing voice!

"I CAN'T FEEL THE WAY I DID BEFORE! DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME! I WON'T BE IGNORED! TIME WON'T HEAL THIS DAMAGE ANYMORE! DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME! I WON'T BE IGNOOOOOOORED!"

"AAAAAAAH!" everyone screamed as they were exposed to the pain that is Leah trying to sing. They promptly forgot all about the bologna song.

"You see?" Leah said, putting the phone away, "I am definitely a genius!"

"I think I'll be deaf for eternity…" Olivia mumbled.

"Would you rather sing a silly commercial jingle about processed meat products for eternity?"

"…Point taken."

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((A/n – I'm sure you know this tune ))

"I FEEL YOUTHFUL! OH SO YOUTHFUL! I FEEL YOUTHFUL, AND YOUTHFUL, AND GAY!"

Sakura, Sasuke, and Lee were dancing in a clearing, singing at the top of their lungs, when the cell phone that Sakura apparently had all along rang.

"Sakura, are you there? It's Leah!"

"Leah-san! Are you feeling youthful as well?"

"No, I'm not fee- Wait. Did you just ask me if I was feeling youthful?"

"Of course! We should all be feeling youthful! We are in the springtime of our youth! We are as youthful as youthful can be!"

"Holy crap, you've caught it too, haven't you! Don't come near me! Hang up! The virus might spread through the phone!"

Sakura was immediately hung up on.

Sakura started crying dramatically. "Sasuke-kun! Lee-san! They are so un-youthful! They will not embrace our youthfulness!"

Sasuke put a comfortingly youthful arm around Sakura's shoulders. "You know what we must do, do you not?"

"Yes," said Lee, "We must lay siege to their fortress!"

"YES!" Sakura shouted, "WE SHALL GIVE THEM YOUTHFULNESS, OR WE SHALL GIVE THEM DEATH!"

The three youthful shinobi started cackling in an incredibly evil yet still youthful way.

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Across the forest from the cackling maniacs, our still vaguely sane friends were setting up a fort to defend themselves from the Lee virus. Anko was barking out orders, Leah was eating a Hostess' Cupcake that was stuffed in with her kunai and shuriken, Olivia was staring into space, Shikamaru was staring at the clouds, Michelle was yelling at Shikamaru, the Sand siblings were standing around doing nothing, Naruto was whining that he didn't have ramen, Ino was complaining that only Sakura got to spend time with Sasuke, Chouji was snacking, Kiba and Akamaru were chasing butterflies, Shino was standing around while bugs swarmed around him, Hinata was trying to console Naruto, Neji was mumbling about how his clothes were dirty, and Tenten was mumbling about how Neji was unwilling to let her play with his hair. All in all, there was chaos at the fort.

"Hey, I've got an idea!" Leah said, "Michelle, where's our prank call list?"

Michelle sighed. "Is now really the right time?"

"No, silly! There was someone I wanted to call!"

Michelle sighed. "Fine." She passed Leah the paper.

Leah took the paper, and dialed a number into her phone.

"Hello?" said the voice on the other end.

"Hey, I was wondering if you could maybe pop down to the Forest of Death for a bit? We need a bit of help."

"Whatever."

Two minutes later, a certain Yamato-taicho poofed in front of everyone. Anko went and spoke quietly with him, and after a minute, he turned, did his little build-a-house jutsu to make a pre-made fort, then poofed away.

"Convenient, ne?"

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A/n – Yay! Eleven chapters! Next Chapter: The Siege!

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