Careless

Category: Anime Fairy Tail

Author: MisZ Anarchy

Language: English

Rating: M

Disclaim – Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima.

Chapter 18 – Like a good drug

"I swear I meant to mean the best when it ended, even tried to bite my tongue when you start shit" Gayle - abcdefu

I look to my phone as it rings and I smile seeing Lucy's name. She was probably calling to tell me that she got off and I could go to her. I swipe at my phone and then bring it to my ear.

"Well hello." I say into the phone and wait patiently for the blonde on the other side.

"Hey Natsu." She sounded frustrated.

"You ready?" I ask and I hear her huff a breath of air.

"I need to do a rain check." I furrow my brows as I look at my computer screen. After coming back from night shift I didn't go to bed, I was too excited that I would be seeing Lucy later and now she was calling to cancel.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, just hard to get off and there is something I need to attend to." I hear her say and she didn't sound okay.

"They don't want to let you go?" I ask and there is some movement on her side and I wait for the movement to end. Seems like she was walking somewhere.

"Mavis called me in and there are something we need to deal with, I am really sorry I really thought that I would be able to leave early." At this I nod my head, I knew Lucy puts her work above everything and she wouldn't just cancel on me for some silly reason. I hear movement on the other side. "Hold on really quick." Then there is muffled sounds on the other side.

I don't really pay attention but there are something that I could hear. It was something about the Captain on Laxus' shift because I heard her last name twice. And then Lucy is back. "Is everything okay?" I ask and wait for her.

"I'm just walking out of reach of other people, I will speak to you now." There is more movement and soon everything goes quiet. "So we have someone that tested positive at the station, and I need to do the factual reports and arrange some things." At this my eyes go wide. So basically this was the first person at our station that tested positive and COVID-19 just became so much more real.

"Who?" I ask and there is this weary silence on the other side of the phone.

"It's the Captain on Laxus shift… She is in the hospital." Lucy says softly and I narrow my eyes as I take in a deep breath. "When was the last time you saw her?" Lucy asks and for a moment I go quiet to think.

"Second last day shift I just saw her in the tent." I say and wait patiently for Lucy to reply.

"Okay, then that's okay." I hear her say. "This is all trial and error at the moment and to be honest I am in a bit of shock because I don't know what to expect, I have to call the people she has listed as contacts and ask them a bunch of questions and I have to arrange decontamination and just its shit That's why I am cancelling on you, so please don't take it the wrong way…" I remain silent because she really seemed of and I could completely understand why.

The people we worked with are like family and for Lucy co-workers were family. A few times she would refer to the captain who now tested positive as 'mama' because she saw her as a motherly figure. And to know that Laxus also worked with the Captain, I could understand why she seemed so nervous. This sickness was invisible and we don't know much about it so everything about it is trial and error.

"Lucy, it's okay, if you need me for anything just let me know." I say into the phone and at this I hear her sigh and I imagine that she is giving a small smile.

"I know. And I appreciate it very much." She says into the phone. "Just keep this to yourself, we don't want to rise panic at the moment." I hear her say and I nod my head knowing full well she can't see me.

"I won't tell a soul." I reply. "Is Laxus okay?" I ask and for a moment she is quiet again.

"They are all being tested now." I hear her say and I hear the strain in her voice.

"Good luck and let me know if you need something." I say and with that we ended the call because I know she had to get back to work. I wonder if she knew about this before and that was why she seemed so distant the day before. I sigh because I would need to ask her when I speak to her again.

"Beauty queen goddess, I remember what you taught us, and I know it's been a while, But I'm tired of being honest" Layto - Beauty

'Hey are you off today?' I read the message as I place my controller down and pause my game.

'Yeah why?' I reply and wait for a few seconds.

'Want to run errands with me?' I furrow my brows and shake my head from side to side. I press dial and soon bring my phone to my ear waiting for Dan to pick up his phone.

"Hey Natsu, how are you?" he answers after the second ring.

"I'm good and you?" I ask as I look at the clock above my computer screen.

"Good, you want to come with me to get some new boots and a leg holster?" Dan asks into the phone and I just sigh because I had nothing better to do.

"Sure thing, want me to pick you up?" I ask as I do fondly remember Dan's fiancé usually drove their car during the day.

"Nah Sherry left me the car today, I'll pick you up." I hear him say. "Be ready in 20 minutes?" he asks and I nod my head before replying with an 'Hmmm.' We end the call and I rise from my seat. Dan wasn't joking when he said he wanted to hang out. We were speaking constantly, even more then what I was speaking to Laxus. And it seems that our friendship was blooming into something more. We even ended up inviting him and his fiancé over for dinner the other night.

Lisanna was very fond of Sherry as well, and it seems that they were becoming friends as well bonding over their love for art and photography. Which was good because she didn't have that many good friends. I would never suggest Lucy be friends Lisanna because that would just be completely strange. If I could keep those two away from each other that would be great.

I move over to my room and to the cupboard as I rummage through it to find some shoes. I grab a pair of shoes and move to the bed sitting down. Before I put on my shoes I look to my phone. I felt a bit guilty because I haven't spoken to Lucy in over a week. I sigh as I move over to her name and tap on it and our empty chat opens. I never kept our chats and sometimes I regret that but I didn't want to be put in a situation where Lisanna took my phone and saw any of my message to Lucy. Not that they were rated R or anything.

I type a greeting and then I delete it as I continue to look at her name, and her picture. Her profile picture was a black and white picture of her smiling brightly. She looked so happy and carefree in the picture. I smile somewhat and then start typing again.

'Hey.' I push send and in moments she is online. She was one of those people that would instantly reply, not those that read your message and reply seven months later. I chuckle at the thought.

'Hello.' Came her reply and I smile because it seemed that she was in an okay mood. But I couldn't really say that.

'Are you at work?' I ask as I start to put on my shoes, looking at the phone as I tie my shoe laces.

'Where else would I be Dragneel?' she asks and I shake my head chuckling somewhat.

'Had lunch yet?' I ask as I look to the clock and it was just before noon.

'What's that?' she asks and I shake my head again. 'Not yet why?' she sends again and I smile as I move to Dan's name and open our chat.

'Where are we going?' I ask and a moment later he is online.

'That shopping centre near Talonia.' He replies and I smile because we would surely pass the station.

'Could we stop by my station to drop of something?' I ask and he just replies with a thumbs up. I smile, I would take her lunch that is the least I can do for her right? Just a small gesture that I care for her? And I would be able to see her since I haven't since that afternoon with Dan. I move back to my chat with her and she is still online. 'What would you like for lunch?' I type and send to her.

'Surprise me…' she sends back and that is soon followed by a winking face. I chuckle as I throw my phone to the side and finish getting ready. I place my wallet into my pocket and soon my cigarettes and phone follow. I look around before I move to the front door and take the dogs out. I lock the door and soon I am outside and I wait for Dan who is on time as per usual.

I get into his car and put on my safety belt. "Hey there." I say as I look to my friend who smiles brightly.

"Thanks for joining me today." I hear Dan say and I just nod my head. "So you want to head to your station first or after?" Dan asks as he puts the car into gear and we start to drive.

"After if that's okay." I say and he nods his head as he puts on the radio.

"What are we dropping of?" he asks.

"Just taking Lucy some lunch." I say as I look to the side.

"You two are close friends." Dan asks and at this I look to him smiling.

"Yeah, she's a good friend." I reply and at this he nods his head and furrows his brow.

"She still hasn't buzzed me." He says and for a moment I play dumb not too sure what he was referring to. "She said she would buzz me to give me her number, she never did." He says and at this I chuckle because how he just said that was just strange.

"She's busy so she might not have gotten time." I say because she hasn't even spoken to me that much.

"Is she and Laxus still dating?" he asks and at this I go quiet and look to the front of the car. "Or not?" he continues and I then look to him.

"No they are still together." I reply and at this he smiles nodding his head.

"You guys really fucked me over with that, making me think she is married to Gray and all that." At this I chuckle because I remember that day.

"That was funny." I say as I scratch my head remembering that day.

"She is really sweet though, even if she keeps to herself a lot. There must be a reason for that." Dan says and at this I just nod my head because he was spot on.

"Yeah, Lucy is Lucy, she is an open book but there isn't much information in the book." I say and at this he nods his head. "But it was funny that you thought she was married to Gray, to be honest, we all thought that Gray and Lucy were together when she started there. But then she had the guy from oversee and there was a time I thought she was with Zeref as well." I say and this was the first time I admitted to anyone that I thought there was something between her and Zeref.

"She's friendly, and that sometimes looks like flirting. But I doubt she would date a guy younger then she is." At this I laugh whole heartedly because he doesn't know how wrong he was.

"You and Zeref are the same age, and I doubt she sees 24 as a young age, seeing as she dated a 21 year old." I say and at this Dan chuckles as we continue to drive.

"We'll she is good looking so I don't find it hard to believe that any guy wouldn't want to get with her, but I am glad she is with Laxus, they seem good together." Dan says and I look to him from the corner of my eye. Even if he spoke the truth and she and Laxus did seem good for each other I would beg to differ, that spike of jealousy peaking in my again. Nothing I did kept the jealousy at bay it seems even if I knew I had no right.

"But I'd never back down man I'd rather be dead, I'm making love to fate and she look better in bed" Neffex – Go down Swinging

We drive into the station and soon Dan stops the car and we both get out placing our masks over our faces. "Grab the drinks." I call to Dan and he nods his head, the station seemed vacant. But what was I expecting, all operational people were posted at the roadblock and the station was currently being run by three people excluding the Station Commander and the Detectives and Client Service Centre.

I grab my phone and text Lucy. 'Are you in the main building or your office?' I wait a few seconds and soon she replies.

"I'm right here Dragneel." I hear her say as I look up and I smile as the blond comes into view. Today seemed warmer than most days and she was wearing a black skinny jean, and a tight fitting pink sweater and dusty pink boots. It hasn't just been my imagination but she was losing weight. She seemed skinnier then last time. But she wasn't considered the ugly skinny if you know what I mean. She was skinny but not skin and bones.

"Luce…" I great as I grab the food from the car and close the door placing my phone in my pocket.

Lucy smiles to us as she places her hands on her hips and shakes her head from side to side. "Cst Dragneel, Cst Straight…. What are you two doing here?" she asks as she steps closer.

"Lunch?" Dan says as he hold up the drinks and at this she smiles shaking her head.

"You want to sit outside, the boardroom or my office?" she asks and at this I just smile.

"Your office will be fine." I say as she nods her head and she starts to walk, myself and Dan soon following her, I make sure that I am behind her as I appreciate her ass that I miss very much. "Busy day?" I ask and she looks over her shoulder to me as she takes a turn.

"Every day is busy…" she says and at this Dan laughs. Soon we are in her office and I take a seat on Aries chair and Dan places the drinks on Lucy's desk as he takes one and moves to Erza's chair taking a seat. "You two are darlings for bringing me lunch." Lucy says as I place her burger and chips on her table and then continue to pull out a burger and chips for Dan and then myself.

"Well I did ask Natsu to join me in errands and we were this side, might as well do something good for the day and bring you lunch." Dan says and at this Lucy just chuckles as she picks at her chips.

"So sweet you thought of me." She says as her eyes land on me and she gives me a small smile.

"So how are things here, how is the Captain?" I ask and at this Lucy looks up and she narrows her eyes for a moment then look to Dan as he seems to not know what I was talking about.

"It's busy, we are busy with the Amnesty as well, so I am constantly in the CSC. And the Captain is still in the hospital but she is doing well." Lucy says and then she looks to Dan as well. "Didn't your station also close for decontamination?" Lucy says and at this Dan nods his head.

"How did you know?" he asks as he takes a bite from his burger.

"Oh I know everything." Lucy says and at this I chuckle. "I saw it on the Commanders group. Someone tested positive about three days ago." Lucy says and at this I look from her to Dan.

"Yeah it was a Detective. But how does this process work?" Dan ask and I was curious as well.

"Well, once you go for testing you can't come to work till you get your result, once you get a positive you need to inform you commander, then we need to draw up a factual report, request decontamination of the area the person was last in and then we contact everyone the person listed as close contacts and tell them so self-isolate for 14 days, but they can go test and if they are negative they can return to work." At this I look to Lucy because this was the first I heard of the process.

"Did they decontaminate the area where the Captain was?" I ask as I take a sip from my drink.

"No, because that was at the roadblock but we did decontaminate the bus. And thankfully no one else tested positive." Lucy says and I just nod my head. "To be honest this whole thing is scary… We get death notices daily and I see the requests for decontaminations all over…" At this I look to Lucy and I just frown because this was becoming more and more real. COVID was real and it started to affect our immediate environment.

"This whole thing just sucks. I miss old times, times before masks and hand gloves, before banning liquor and closing everything that is not essential…" Dan says and at this I look up and then to Lucy.

"This is what it has come to… Sadly." She replies as she takes a bite of another chip. "So what were you two doing?" Lucy asks as she takes another bite of a chip.

"Oh Dan needed some shit, so I went to hold his hand so he doesn't spend all his money at one place." I say and at this Dan almost chokes and Lucy laughs.

"Dan, you can get shit at home… No need to pay for it." At this I chuckle, leave it to her to take things literally. Dan shakes his head from side to side.

"You two should stop picking on me." Dan says and I just chuckle.

"Why?" Lucy says completely seriously as she looks to Dan straight in his eyes. "It's fun…" She says as she narrows her eyes and at that moment she looked so intimidating, and it almost seem like Dan seemed hesitant to answer her back. "Beside you deserve it." I want to laugh and that was until she turns her gaze to me. And I am at a loss of words. "You are friends with this fucknut so it comes with the package." At this she smiles and then we start to laugh as I shake my head not being able to keep it in anymore.

Once we finished eating and cleaning up Dan takes the empty containers and cups and he looks around. "Where is the dustbin outside?" he asks looking from me to Lucy.

"Just go to the kitchen, it's right outside the back door." She says with a smile as she rises to her feet and so do I. Dan nods his head and then he starts walking. Once we can't hear his footsteps anymore I look to Lucy and smile. "That was very sweet of you two." She says and at this I smile nodding my head.

"Sometimes it's the small things that matters." I say and at this her eyes goes wide but she gives me a small smile. "So when can we see each other?" I ask as I look to the door then to her.

"When are you off?" she asks even though I know she knows when I am off since she does our schedule.

"Well next week Wednesday?" I ask and for a moment she looks like she is thinking it over then she nods her head.

"Okay." She says before she pulls out her phone and looks to the screen then back to me. "I'll try and get off work and let you know." She says.

"Sure." I say as I look to the ground and then I look back up to her. "Are you sure you are okay?" I ask and at this she just smiles to me.

"Yeah." She says and I just nod my head.

"Welcome to the playground, follow me, tell me your nightmares and fantasies, Sink into the wasteland underneath" Bea Miller - Playground

"Hey where is Zeref?" I ask as Aries sits down in the tent and she looks to me with a frown on her face.

"He booked off sick." I furrow my brows because this is the third shift in a row he had not been to work.

"Is he okay?" I ask and Aries looks to me and sighs.

"Have no idea what's going on with him to be honest." Aries says and I just nod my head as I grab my equipment from the trailer behind Aries. "He doesn't inform us or anything so I am not sure." Aries continues and I nod my head.

"Where is Laxus?" I ask because he was also not here today which I found strange.

Aries looks to me and then to the occurrence book and then back to me. "He put in a day of leave." Aries says and I just nod my head not too sure what the hell is going on. I just nod my head and bow as I leave the tent and walk towards the bus. Gray already in the driver's seat. I take the spot in the passenger's seat and buckle up.

"They are short staffed today." I say and at this Gray looks to me with an irritated and tired look. We had a terrible cold night shift and all of us just wanted to go home. Late last night a car speeded into our roadblock and hit one of the roadblock trailers. We were between the station and the roadblock twice as we had to deal with the drunk driver and the damages to the trailer.

"Zeref booked off sick again," Gray starts and I nod my head but it seems that he was telling me and not asking me. "He's very unhappy working this, and there is a lot of friction between him and Mavis, so he keeps booking off sick." At this I nod my head because that explained that, but where was Laxus….

"Well that's shit, I know she gives us all trouble but she really has a knife in for him." I say as I know that Mavis labelled Zeref a problem child and was always complaining that he wasn't working and he didn't take his job serious.

"And I think Laxus took off to attend a funeral today." At this I look to Gray and furrow my brows because I couldn't recall that Laxus mentioned something about a death.

"Who passed away?" I ask and at this Gray shakes his head.

I grab my phone and see that I don't have signal at the moment, we would need to drive a bit before I would be able to get signal. But that didn't stop me from moving to my messaging app and moving to Lucy's name.

'Are you at work?' I send and then look to the side as Gray starts the bus finally and we start to drive. He was driving faster than usually but I understand why. We all wanted to get home and just go to sleep. After a night like last night you are pretty drained.

My phone beeps and I look to the screen. It was a message from Lucy. 'Well Morning, and yes, where else would I be?' she replies and I want to roll my eyes at her.

'At home, in bed, like a normal person.' I send back to her.

'Who said I was normal?' she types back and I just smile at her reply.

'Laxus is off today?' I send to her and she remains online.

'Yeah, going to a funeral today.' She says and I furrow my brows, I know I haven't really spoken to my friend in a while but still he would have told me if he was going to a funeral right? And I mean it had to be someone close because under the current lockdown only immediate family members were permitted to go to a funeral, you actually have to apply to attend a funeral and then only immediate family members may attend.

'Who passed away?' I ask.

'My Grandmother passed away on Saturday.' I read the message and then I go cold and pale. Her grandmother passed away? She didn't even tell any of us. What the hell was going on?

'My condolences to you and your family. I am really sorry that I seem so inconsiderate.' I reply and a moment later my phone lights up as I see her name flashing on my screen. I answer the call and place the phone to my ear. "I am so sorry." I say into the phone.

"It's okay, she was old and passed away in her sleep." Lucy says on the other side, her voice seemed lifeless as she spoke but I could understand why.

"Why are you not taking off?" I ask and she goes quiet for a moment.

"It's really okay Natsu… Besides who will do the work?" she asks and right there I loose it. She was more worried about work than family problems. How can this happen.

"No it's not. You need time, you need time to grief." I say into the phone and that is when I notice Gray looking at me. "Take the time off and spend it with your family." I say into the phone and I just hear her sigh. "Laxus took the day off, so should you." I say as the other side goes quiet.

"Natsu… It's okay. But thank you so much for caring." I hear her say before she ends the call. It almost seems that she was drawing a line. I look at the phone for a moment and then look to Gray who sighs.

"She hung up on me…" I say in disbelieve.

"Natsu, Lucy is her own person… I thought you would get that by now…she's different… she is not like any other person... and you need to understand that." Gray says and I release a breath that I didn't know I was holding.

"What do you mean?" I say because even though what he said made sense I didn't understand.

"You know last year in September we heard on the radio of a suicide? It was in Oak Town…" For a moment I sit back and I try to remember. But it did ring a bell, but what did it have to do with Lucy? I nod my head. "You know that was her uncle… " I stop my line of thought as I stare at Gray.

"What…" I ask.

"You remember they requested an ambulance on the radio, and then it was given through as a suicide? It took me a while to figure it out, but Laxus told me that that was her uncle… She never told anyone, and now she must have her reason for doing what she is doing because she is her own person and she does things differently. She handles things differently." At this my eyes go wide. She had drawn a line and it was before all this even started because what Gray said made sense.

I thought I had been close to her knowing her, seeing her, but there was so many layers to Lucy. I sigh as I look down to my lap. I didn't know Lucy… Even though I thought I broke down all her walls. The rest of the ride to the station was quiet. And when we pulled into the station and stopped the bus, I opened the door and there she stood, all in black as she smiled to me.

I look to the blonde, and I see the person I have gotten to know but it almost seem that I am looking at a lie of a person… Gray walks over to her and he hugs her like he always does and she hugs him back before they both turn to me. I take a step towards her then stop.

She keeps her smile on her face as she extends her arms to me. And that was when it hit me. I was in love with Lucy Heartfelia… And in some way I felt betrayed because it felt like the person I was in love with was a lie, it was not the person standing on front of me. But it was.

Fuck…

But I walk to her and I embrace her and pulled her to me as I hug her tightly. "I'm sorry." I whisper into her ear and I feel her shake her head.

"Stop apologizing…" she whispers back to me. I take a step back and look down at her. She smiles to me and huffs a breath. "You always apologizes… And I have no idea why because you didn't do anything wrong." She says and at this Gray laughs.

"I am sorry for you loss." I say and at this her eyes softens… And I was sorry but I broke our agreement. I have fallen for her. And I don't know how I was getting out of this.

"Don't apologize for death. It's part of life." I tilt my head to the side. "You live… you die. It's bound to happen. There was nothing we could do to stop it, it's all in the hands of the lord." She says as she continues to smile towards me. She was right and she was strong if she saw it like this, she had already made peace with what happened and for some people that's something that they can't just accept.

"Still…" I say. Just like life happens and death happens so did love. You couldn't help your heart from wanting something… I bite the inside of my mouth as I just smile to her… I was royally fucked and yet… like she just said, it was bound to happen.