My god! I never expected this much of a response! You guys are so encouraging. I just got back from seeing Brokeback Mountain again, and it was even sadder the second time. I'm glad you all like my characterization. I was worried about that because these are such complex, specific people and so much of their history is covered in the movie. It's not like Harry Potter where you can just jerk them around every which way. Also, I'm terribly sorry about the size of my chapters but the style in which the movie and short story were done was very sparse and stark, and I feel obliged to keep that spirit, otherwise it would no longer be Brokeback Mountain and would be Matteson's Happy Fun Time with Gay Cowboys.
Also! Feel free to steal my it-wasn't-Jack idea and do whatever you want with it. I'm not possessive and there are so many more angles to it than the one I'm exploring. I'd love to see more Brokeback fics out there.
More! Thank you for your patience and lovely comments. I adore every single one of you!
Last thing: did anyone catch my error in the last chapter? I had Ennis coming OUT of the bar and nearly getting hit by a car, whereas in the movie he nearly gets hit going INTO the bar.
oxoxoxo
The afternoon light was sadly golden and dusty. It made Ennis feel old. He absently straightened his postcard of Brokeback and stroked the collar of the denim shirt where it hung on his closet door, feeling the frownlines in his face tighten. He heard the moaning wind snatch open the door of his trailer and bang it shut again. It happened so often he never bothered to look anymore. He had no visitors and no thief would wander this far out of town to steal from a scruffy pauper. His loneliness was like drowning in a river swollen with snowmelt, pulling at him and chilling him to the bone. With Jack had gone the warmth in his life, his pride, his hope.
"Jack, I swear..." Ennis said brokenly, eyes brimming and dark. The wind howled in chorus with his grief.
"What do you swear, Ennis Del Mar?"
Ennis whirled at the familiar drawling voice, face pinching. He let his red eyes take in the figure standing there, pointed boots, scuffed beltless jeans, heavy cordoroy jacket, no mustache, black cowboy hat. A vision of Brokeback mountain standing in the doorway, a challenging set to his shoulders and lips.
The only thing Ennis could think to do was punch him solid to the cheek, just like the end of that first summer, half expecting to hit air. Jack tumbled back, right out of the trailer. He yelled something that resembled "Sonofabitch!" as he fell, landing right on his ass, and Ennis stared in shock, rubbing his knuckles where they'd hit Jack's warm living skin. He jumped down out of the trailer to crouch next to Jack, who was still swearing as Ennis reached out to touch his face wonderingly.
"Jack?" he whispered. Jack leaned into his fingers, the curses trailing off.
"Ennis."
"They said you died." Ennis said stupidly, stroking his rough cheek to drive away the lies. Jack looked straight into Ennis's muddy pained eyes.
"That«s what I wanted them to think. But now you know better," he said warmly, reaching for Ennis. And after so long in the cold and dark, Ennis came easily into his arms, easier even than their first meeting after four years, when they'd been so eager and reckless Alma had seen the fiercely kissing on the stoop.
"Jack." he whispered reverently against his lover«s lips. "Aw hell, Jack. I'm sorry. I'm fuckin' sorry." he couldn't come up with anything more to say, so he just kept repeating it into his lover's collarbone until Jack shushed him. But it was okay, nothing needed to be said. Jack was alive.
oxoxoxo
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sorry this chapter wasn't as good, the semester has begun and i am very sleep deprived.
any suggestions are welcome, and please review if you want to.