i dont own twilight or any of the charecters

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Chapter 3

Edward wasn't speaking to me and I felt awful but still did not go to him to apologize, I had a more pressing matter to deal with. Today was Carlisle's day off and I needed to talk to him about my human. He was there in the den reading a dictionary sized book, his papers scattered on the ebony table. Was he busy? Was this the right time? I had no idea of how to approach him. I decided to stop contemplating and get it over with. "Carlisle?"

"Rosalie," He answered, his eyes never leaving the book.

I pushed a stray lock behind my ear and continued shakily still trying to figure a way to approach the subject. Carlisle did not rush me; he simply continued reading as if I wasn't there. After a long while he came to life again. "Rosalie, what is it?" He said shutting the book and giving me his full attention.

"I'm in love." I said getting to the point straight away.

The corners of Carlisle's moth twitched and then gave into a full grin. What was he grinning at? This was very serious and I didn't like that smile whether it was meant to be condescending or not. Was he happy? "Are you glad?" I asked unsure. I was expecting him to be supportive, but not anything more than that.

Carlisle chuckled. "Of course I am glad Rosalie, I am very glad."

"Honestly?"

"Yes, I am just wondering what took so long it's been quite a while." "I know you two have your differences, but I think it's a perfect match otherwise."

"You…you know?" I said shocked. Had Edward told him about Emmett and how I watched him? I cursed Edward internally and sat down across from Carlisle.

"Of course I know Rosalie, I am extremely glad that you and Edward have finally declared yourselves."

I stood immediately, shocked at what he was saying. "What?" I shrieked. "What?" "Edward and I?" "Declare ourselves?" "Carlisle what on earth are you talking about?"

His brow pulled together in confusion. "Did you not just tell me you were in love?"

"Yes! But not with Edward!" I said still shrieking from the idea of me and Edward together.

"If not with Edward, then who?"

"A human, his...his name is Emmett."

"Go on,"

"I love him and I want to change him."

He was quiet for a time and I grew anxious.

"I will change him… even if you say no." I faltered.

Carlisle chuckled and covered his eyes with a hand. "Rose…Rosalie, it is not that easy, you cannot just change someone like that, have you learned nothing from me?"

I crossed my arms and frowned. "I have Carlisle but-

"No Rosalie, this human must have a family, a life, maybe even a lover of his own…"

This was not was not what I wanted to hear. "But I want him," I argued like a child longing for a doll she couldn't have.

Carlisle frowned. "Rosalie, for once this isn't about you, this is about the human, about his right to-

"Yes, yes I know. Goodness!" I muttered.

"Rose, don't do anything foolish, please."

I had had enough of Carlisle's aggravating lecture. I was upstairs in no time and my feet were guiding me to Edward's bedroom. I entered the room silently but cleared my throat to announce my entrance. "Do you not know how to knock?" He snapped angrily.

I ignored him and seated myself on the floor. I couldn't muster the courage to voice my apology aloud, so I said it mentally. Edward sat quietly for a minute or two his brows pulled together tightly. He was thinking whether he should forgive me or not, I concluded. Finally he lay back down on his couch one hand supporting his head. "You spoke with Carlisle?" He asked as if he didn't already know.

"Yes,"

"But you did not like his view on things,"

I nodded.

"I agree with him," No surprise there, of course Edward would side with Carlisle, his idol. "And Carlisle is not my idol, I simply respect his views."

I snorted and stretched out on the rug.

"Rosalie, haven't you ever wondered…what if he doesn't want you and you change him?"

The thought was preposterous yet I was shaken by it. I frowned down at the rug and began absently pulling. "Edward, am I beautiful?"

He sat up at that and laughed. "Pardon me?"

"I meant, do you think that I am beautiful?" I repeated.

"Of course not, you're hideous." He said attempting a serious expression trying not to laugh. When I made it clear that I didn't find him the least bit funny he became serious. "Of course your beautiful Rose, this has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with-"

"There's no need to say it, I know… it's because I am like this"

"Rosalie I wasn't…" He sighed. "Rosalie just don't do it alright?" "It isn't that simple, you can't just change someone just because you want them, I mean... how selfish is that?

"I am not being selfish." I sniffed, saying it more for my own benefit that Edward's. "Don't you want me to be happy?"

"Yes Rosalie, I want you to be happy, but I don't want you to achieve that happiness by taking someone's life."

"I wouldn't be taking his life really Edward!" I pleaded. "I would only be giving him a new one!" "A life where he could have me."

"You know you can be so full of it some times Rosalie, you shouldn't think of yourself as some… prize" He put an emphasis on the word "prize" looking disgusted with my suggestion. I didn't care if he thought me conceited or arrogant, but I was not selfish, only lonely.

Edward shot me an odd look. Several different expressions played across his face. "Rosalie," He began and then let out an exasperated breath. "You Rosalie, of all people should know what it is to have a life taken from them."

I flinched at his words…how dare he bring that up?

"I know." I grumbled almost silently.

"Excuse me? Couldn't hear you… what was that?" He asked knowing full and well what I had said. I hated that stupid smirk of his. I almost hated him.

"I know! I know, ok Edward?"

"Good."

Whatever. I grumbled silently rising. I was angry and I didn't want to talk to him any longer. I decided to take a walk knowing full and well where my feet would lead me, but he was not there today and it made me sad. I lay in a patch of sunlight creating little rainbows everywhere as the sunshine reflected off of my skin. I must be crazy…loving someone I know nothing about other than their name and appearance, but I couldn't help it. What was the point of my existence if no one could see me, if no one could love me? I am beautiful, I thought. I am beautiful but alone. It wasn't right. It was not supposed to be this way, I thought angrily. My eyes darted around the forest, searching for something to unleash my anger on. I found nothing so I shouted instead. It felt so wonderful to scream. My outburst sent a large flock of birds soaring into the air from the trees, echoing a few times. With my startlingly sharp teeth, ebony eyes, and sparkling skin I must have been a frightening sight indeed. But was that not what I was anyhow? A frightening sight? An abomination…a monster, I thought bitterly. I tore off a branch and threw it. Fuming and storming around, I began to run. First at a ridiculous human pace, then blindingly fast, as if going faster would allow my bitter thoughts to fly from my head. Then it caught my eye, a large bear. I charged at it, pinning it to the ground and tearing open its neck. I drank the warm blood until there was no more. I didn't bother to be clean either. Blood smeared on my dress and my lips were crimson. I sank down to my knees crying tearlessly. What sort of wild creature have I become? Then I thought as I hugged my knees to my chest, I could never shed tears like normal girls; never blush crimson like other girls. And worst of all I could never dream. I could never escape into that fantasy world where any normal girl might dream of a lover she couldn't have. I am beautiful. I repeated silently, reassuring myself.