Et In Arcadia Ego
by K. Stonham
first released 14th September 2022

This is the story of how I died. -Eugene Fitzherbert, Tangled

"You will die for this!" Bellroc snarled.

Douxie smirked, to hide the tremor of nerves that lay beneath the surface. He summoned his staff. "That was kind of the plan," he told the two gods. "But it's worth it so my friends, and Nari, could get away."

Bellroc snarled, and lunged.

In the world below, among the ruins of Camelot, other battles raged and were won and lost in equal measure.

Douxie breathed heavily, listening to the gods' taunts. He was buying time here, he knew that. Nothing more. Time for Nari to get away. Time for Morgana to take out Arthur. Time for everyone to save Jim. He was the distraction.

And every second he could buy was worth it.

With one last surge of determination, he summoned shields to his hands and stepped out from behind the pillar, dropping to the ground and sketching out another, larger, shield with the toe of his hightop. He threw everything he had into an attack, purest blue of summer's sky waging against deadly fire and fatal ice.

This was it, he knew, feeling the last of his strength and power wane, flowing out through him. One more second, and one more-

"Goodbye, my friends," said Hisirdoux, and was overcome.

The Order's castle exploded in mid-air. Two bodies went one way. One went the other, plummeting lifeless to the ground.

"Douxie!" Toby yelled. But none of them were fast enough, or close enough, to reach the falling wizard in time.

Hisirdoux landed, and nothing saved him.

Hisirdoux woke, and gasped for air. After a second's panic, he realized he was still alive and hastily patted himself down, checking for the injuries he felt sure should be there-

But there were none.

And as, wide-eyed, he looked around, he suddenly realized where he was. Merlin's workshop, a place he hadn't been for nine hundred years. A place that was now destroyed, with the wreck of Camelot. Groaning, he lay back down on the table. "If this is the afterlife," he complained out loud, "I must surely be in-"

"Hello there, boy."

His eyes flew open.

They found where the wizard had fallen. His body lay still in a clearing not far from the ruins of Camelot. Archie arrived first, and was nuzzling Douxie's chin, desperately, whispering something none of the others could quite hear. Nari sat down on the other side of Douxie's head, legs folded beneath herself. She reached both hands out, green magic flowering around her fingers.

But before she could attempt anything, any revival, the wizard's body quietly, and easily, transmuted into ash.

"No," Claire whispered in shock, hand flying to her mouth, tears in her eyes.

Archie stared as the wind caught the ashes in a drift then whirled them high into the sky. "Douxie!" he cried, leaping after them. But the wind stole them faster than he could fly, dispersing the remains of his familiar with finality.

Archie could only stare in horror. "No," he whispered, as the most precious thing in his life disappeared.

Douxie stood before the door to the true afterlife. Golden light spilled out as Merlin stepped through, and Morgana.

He should go, he knew. Move on. He'd done his best, given his all.

But...

He glanced back toward the other source of light, the stained glass windows that had felt so warm beneath his palm.

He couldn't do it. He just couldn't let go and move on. Not yet.

Merlin was watching him.

"I can't," Hisirdoux said.

Merlin's brows bounced up toward his hairline, then back down again. For once, there was no judgment on his face, only an expression that spoke of his lack of surprise. "Well, you've never listened to anyone else before," he said, "so why should you start now?"

"There's nothing left for you," Morgana said. "The age of wizardry ended with us."

But Douxie shook his head. He knew that wasn't true. There was Claire, and Zoe, and HexTech, and so many other wizards across the world. None of them masters, it was true, but... they could be. With help. With guidance. "Forgive me if I mistrust the opinion of someone who spent nine hundred years asleep," he said. "But... it's not ended."

Merlin had sadness in his eyes. "It won't be as you expect," he warned. "You've already vaporized, Hisirdoux."

"I know," Douxie said. "But I'll find a way. A wizard doesn't make mistakes... he makes unexpected possibilities."

That won him a pair of smiles. "Good luck, master wizard," Merlin said, turning to go. As he and Morgana walked away, Douxie's master unexpectedly threw Douxie the sign of the horns. Rock on.

"Safe journeys, master wizards," Douxie said softly, returning the gesture.

Then he turned and ran, crashing through the glass into the light.

Like with Merlin, there was nothing left but one item. Douxie's spell bracelet.

"What do we do?" Jim asked.

"I... I don't know." Claire picked up the bracelet, cradled it carefully. She looked up at Archie. "This should be yours," she said. "You were his family."

Archie stared at the bracelet for a long, silent minute, then shook his head. "It would only slow us down," he said, glancing at the nature goddess next to him. "Nari and I have to keep running." His voice dropped. "Douxie's last words to us." He looked up at Claire again. "He would want it to go where it could do good. To a bright young sorceress."

"Me?" she asked, surprised. "But it should be yours."

The dragon reached out and rested a paw on the bracelet. "I had Douxie for more than nine hundred years," he murmured. "And he never took this off in all that time. If it's left behind now... there must be a reason." He looked up at Claire again. "Take it. Make good use of it. Honor his memory."

Claire's breath stuttered in. "All right," she said, clutching the bracelet to her chest. "I'll try."

Hisirdoux landed in a world of swirling gray mists. He turned around slowly, looking, but there were no points of differentiation, nothing to be seen. Nothing to be *heard*, either, except a low wailing, like wind moaning low on the very edge of his hearing.

It was creepy. It was depressing.

It was all he had.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and reached out his mind, searching. There had to be something to guide him, some anchor point he could try to find.

For a long minute there was nothing.

Then...

He turned again. "That way," he murmured, seeing nothing but more mist in the direction he'd chosen. But still, there was something there. Something for him to find.

Having nothing else to go on, he started walking.

It must have been hours later, though Douxie had no watch to tell him time, and neither sun, moon, nor stars to judge the spinning of the Earth by. So perhaps it had been merely minutes. Or perhaps it had been days. There was no differentiation in the land of the mists, and he had a nasty suspicion time worked differently here anyway.

But finally he found what had been calling him. His vambrace, hovering in mid-air, like it was waiting for him to come and put it back on.

He looked at his left arm, confused, and realized for the first time that he wasn't wearing it.

It took a moment for that to sink in, and then he panicked, wondering what else he hadn't realized was missing. But after a hasty patdown of himself, it seemed that was the only thing missing. Sighing in relief, he reached out to it.

And a dark room flared to life around him.

Douxie stared.

There was a window, and a desk, and Papa Skull posters on the wall. His vambrace rested on the bedside table, beside a bed where a curled-up lump betrayed a sleeping figure, blankets over their head so he couldn't guess who.

He pulled his hand away, and the room vanished. He was back in the mists.

He touched the vambrace again, and the room reappeared.

"This is not a memory," he whispered, taking it in. He was absolutely positive he'd never seen this room before. Why was he here? Why was his vambrace here?

He reached out to the person on the bed, intending to ask, but his hand only passed through them.

Douxie stared.

And tried again, to the same result.

He swallowed, the enormity of the implications sinking in.

He was a ghost.

And given the Papa Skull posters on the wall, he suddenly had a pretty good guess whose room this was. "Claire," he said, hoping she could hear him, and tried one more time to touch her.

But as his fingers passed through her, it was like the touch drained all the energy out of him. He fell back, away from her, away from the vambrace. The room vanished again as his eyes grew heavy.

He fell to the ground among the mists.

He fell asleep.

Claire murmured, and turned over in her sleep, shifting the blanket higher over her chilled shoulder.

She never woke.

Groggy and disoriented, Douxie woke some time later. "Arch-" he croaked, but the dragon wasn't there. He didn't know where his familiar was. His head swam as he pushed himself up into sitting, so he sat and waited for it to stabilize.

He felt exhausted, a bone-deep numbness that made everything take much longer than it should, and made even putting a hand to his head feel like swimming through soup. Eventually, though... eventually it cleared away and he felt somewhat better.

He looked up again.

Still in the mists.

And his vambrace was gone.

A moment's panic quickened his core before he realized he could still feel it, some ways away now but still extant. Had it moved while he was sleeping?

If Claire had it, he reasoned, she must have gone somewhere and taken it with her.

He pushed to his feet and waited again for the world to stabilize.

He started walking.

She didn't know where to find Douxie's friend Zoe, but Claire had a barest recollection of her working in the record store as well as at HexTech, so she went there, dodging around debris and marveling both at the level of destruction something had wrought on Arcadia Oaks, and at the fact that people just seemed to be going about their daily business regardless. She needed to corner Toby and find out the details, because her mom certainly hadn't been very helpful with the kind of info Claire actually needed.

As she'd hoped, the pink-haired witch was behind the counter. Luckier, the store was almost empty.

"Welcome to Zimoc's, how can I help you," Zoe droned in a bored tone as Claire walked up to the counter. A sudden spark of interest flared as she recognized Claire. "Hey, what happened last night? You guys trashed the shop and vanished."

"Um." Claire swallowed.

"Where's Douxie? I'm going to kick his ass. I told him not to break anything, and what does he do?" She scoffed. "He breaks the whole freaking store!"

Claire's mouth moved silently. She shut it and drew herself up.

And drew Douxie's spell bracelet out of her purse, laying it on the counter between them.

Zoe stared at it blankly for a minute. Her hand moved toward it, then stopped. She looked back up at Claire, blue eyes meeting brown. "It's a joke, right?" she asked. "He put you up to this."

Claire shook her head. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Zoe drew a deep, shuddering breath. Tears glistened in her wide eyes, spilled over. She swallowed. "He's- he's gone?" she choked.

"He took on the Arcane Order," Claire whispered. "He fell from their castle and turned into ash."

"You saw it?" Zoe's tone was sharp.

Claire nodded.

Zoe drew another breath. "He had to go out like the drama queen he is. Was," she said with a sob. "Fucking hero type."

Claire could only stand there awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot as Zoe cried. She felt her own tears welling up again. "Archie took off," she told Zoe, "and he said I should have this. But I don't even know how to use it, and you knew him longer, so..."

Zoe swiped fiercely at her eyes. "If Archie said you should have it, you should have it," she said. "Come see me in a week and I'll help you with it, okay? Fucking Casperan," she added.

Claire nodded. "I'm sorry," she said inadequately.

"Yeah," said Zoe. "Me too."

Where on Earth was Claire going? He'd followed her in one direction, but then she started off in another before he even got there. Was he following her all over Arcadia Oaks? Was he walking through buildings and people he couldn't touch or even see because they were on a plane entirely separated from the one he was in? What would happen if Claire got in a car that drove faster than he could run? What would happen if she took his vambrace on a plane to visit relatives in Mexico?

Irritated, Douxie blew his bangs out his face and contemplated flying. He couldn't, could he?

He was a master wizard. He bloody well /could/, he decided.

It was much harder without his vambrace to channel his magic. And he really, he decided, missed his staff. But as he concentrated, the mist around his feet began to swirl, then the area around him blew clear. He had only a thin trickle of power available, but if he didn't have a body, he didn't weigh very much either, did he?

Douxie grinned as he lifted away from the ground.

And grinned wider as he flew after Claire.

"So, what do we do now?" Claire asked.

"I don't know," said Jim. "Sleeping here last night was so weird."

"Hey, didn't your room get turned into a nursery for all the munchkins?" asked Toby.

"Yeah." Jim patted the sofa they were all sitting on. "Sofa city for me, until we get something figured out."

"You can always sleep over at my place, you know," Toby offered. "We haven't had a sleepover in months!"

Jim grinned. "Won't Aaarrrgghh get jealous?"

"Nah." Toby waved it off. "He's got this sweet setup in the basement. You guys should come check it out."

"I'd say you could sleep over at my house, but I think my dad would have an aneurysm," Claire said. She shared a grin with Jim. Her parents might suspect that she and her boyfriend had gotten up to some things during their cross-country trip, but as long as she didn't say anything, they were happy to ignore the possibility.

Blue light flared, and suddenly Douxie was kneeling on the floor before them, hand reaching into Claire's purse on the coffee table.

He looked up at them.

Then Toby screamed, and Douxie vanished.

"What the, what the, what the frizz?!" Toby demanded.

"What the heck?" Jim seconded.

Claire was speechless.

He couldn't believe his luck. He'd found Claire, and she was with both Jim and Toby.

Reaching out to his vambrace again, he relaxed as the real world reappeared. All three of the teenagers were staring at him like they'd seen a ghost, which was fair.

"If I was mean," he said, grinning slyly, "I'd say 'boo'."

All three of them flinched.

He looked down at himself, and found he was as transparent and insubstantial as an astral projection. Also blue, but that was to be expected, he supposed. "Hmm. Interesting."

"Douxie...?" Jim sounded strangled.

"At your service." He didn't move, not wanting to spook them. That, and standing would require him to take his hand off his vambrace, vanishing him back to the world of the mists.

"Aren't you, like, dead?" Toby asked wide-eyed.

Douxie nodded. "As far as I know."

"Shouldn't you be in Heaven or across the rainbow bridge or something?"

He shrugged. "Didn't want to go. I thought you all might still need some help." He looked around. "Where's Arch gotten to?"

"He left," said Claire, shock still across her face. "He took off with Nari, after you-" She swallowed. "We don't know where they went."

Douxie held very still, mind whirling. He had no sense of his familiar; death, presumably, had severed the bond between them. But the fact of Archie being gone, of not knowing where he was... "Fuzzbuckets," he whispered, letting his hand fall away from the vambrace, vanishing again into the mists.

Claire stared at where Douxie had been. "That happened. Right?" she asked the two boys.

"Totally," Toby agreed.

"Is he... going to come back?" Jim wondered.

She shook her head. "I have no idea. It sounded like it?"

Toby raised his hand in the air. "Uh, probably stupid question, but... why'd he have his hand in your purse, Claire?"

Claire's eyes flew wide and she scrambled for her bag, dumping it out on the table.

Atop the middle of the sundries and detritus from months ago, the last time she'd cleaned the purse out, rested Douxie's bracelet, king of the mountain. "He was reaching for this," she said in realization. "It's like... an anchor or something." She looked around the room, held the bracelet out. "Douxie?"

There was no answer.

He sat there on the ground for a long time, stunned. The concept of being without Archie, of being on his own for the very first time since he'd been a small child... it was almost incomprehensible.

Who was going to keep him from acting on his stupid ideas?

The whole deciding to come back thing, he suddenly worried, had maybe been a stupid idea to crown all others. He'd made it without his familiar's input, and it had seemed so right at the time. But now?

He looked around the endless mists and shivered.

He'd run away from the door to whatever came next, and he didn't know how to get back there. If he even could.

Douxie reached out to his vambrace again, only to discover it was gone.

He stood. Where had Claire gone now?

Despite her carrying Douxie's bracelet everywhere with her (even leaving it on the bathroom counter while she showered), Douxie didn't reappear for three days.

"Claire?"

She shrieked and jumped, spinning to see him standing by her bedside table, hand, as expected, on his bracelet.

He flinched at her scream, disappearing as his hand came away. Trying to calm her racing heart, Claire waited. A minute ticked past, then he reappeared.

"Sorry," Douxie said.

"Not a problem," Claire said, collapsing back into her desk chair.

He looked around. "Done with Jim and Toby, then?" he asked.

"Uh... Douxie, that was three days ago."

His eyes widened. "Seems time flows differently, then."

"So you're a ghost?" she asked, just to make sure they were on the same page.

He shrugged. "From my point of view, most of the time I'm in a place that's just mist. But I seem to be able to follow this," his fingers drummed on the bracelet, "and use it to shift over into the real world."

"It was all that was left after you..." Claire swallowed. She didn't want to say it.

"Turned into soot?"

"Ash, actually."

Douxie grinned a cockeyed smile. "I'm impressed that you know the difference."

Claire had to smile back. "Archie told me I should have your bracelet," she said. "I tried to give it to Zoe, but..."

He winced. "She didn't take the news well, I take it?" Claire shook her head. "Fuzzbuckets."

"I'm sorry," Claire apologized, though she didn't know what for.

Douxie sighed, and looked back at his bracelet. "Not bad for an anchor, I guess. Though I'd've preferred Arch - I don't even know what he must be thinking or feeling at the moment."

"He's got Nari with him," Claire pointed out.

"And he'll soldier on for that purpose alone," Douxie agreed. "But I'd feel a lot better if he knew I was still around. Well," he added, looking down at his transparent blue form, "around in some fashion or another..." His gaze drifted back to his bracelet. Then he looked back up at Claire. "Tried putting it on yet?"

She shook her head.

"Well," he said. "Why don't you try? I mean, you have my permission and all," he added with a grin.

"But it's yours," she said.

"Yours now," he replied. "Or... joint custody or something. Go on."

"You're sure?"

He nodded. "If you can use it... I can show you how to give me a better anchor."

That decided her. "All right," Claire said, standing and crossing the room. "Let's give it a try."

She lifted the bracelet carefully so that he didn't lose touch with it. Their fingers never overlapped because she really didn't want to know if they could touch or not. Claire folded her fingers tight, tucking her thumb in, to wriggle her hand through. She just barely fit. "How did you get this on and off?" she asked. "You're bigger than me."

"I never took it off," Douxie replied, shrugging. "Besides, it's a magic tool. It will always fit its wearer. Now try pushing your power through it. Like with the Shadow Staff," he coached. "Will and emotion, working as one. You can unlock it."

Focusing on her heartbeat, Claire breathed. The Staff had been easy, almost intrinsic. She could feel the bracelet-and, interestingly, Douxie-but it was trickier somehow. Elusive, like mercury slipping through her fingers.

"Flatten your power," Douxie encouraged, like he could hear her thoughts. "Make yourself a cup. A bowl. Let the vambrace rest within, surrounded by your power. Let it soak it up and channel it."

She did what he said, concentrating.

Sluggishly, the bracelet flared to life, her own purple magic illuminating the web of runes.

"That's it, Claire," Douxie said, smiling delightedly. "You've got it!"

"I did!" she said, excited. She looked up at him. "Now what was that about a better anchor?"

"All these," Douxie said, indicating the runes, "are spell shortcuts. They can be used singly, or in combination. I strongly recommend not using them until Zoe, Archie, or I have walked you through them. But for this, I think, we want two. Here." He tapped one just over her wrist. It didn't react to his spectral touch. "And this one here," he said, indicating another on the underside of her arm. "Go ahead, touch them."

Fascinated to see how his magic worked from this side, Claire obeyed.

A wash of purple light flared from the bracelet like a mist, and settled over him. Douxie coughed a couple times.

"All right," he said. "Let's see if that worked."

He took his hand away from the bracelet.

And did not vanish.

"Yes!" He fistpumped and spun, the hem of his hoodie flaring around him.

Claire grinned. "All right," she said. "So what now?"

Douxie grinned back. "Let's find out, shall we?"

Author's Notes: The definition of "et in Arcadia ego": I too in Arcadia : I (the deceased) too lived in Arcadia; also: I (death) too am present in Arcadia —inscription viewed by Arcadian shepherds in Baroque paintings

Discussion was going on on HoneyxMonkey's Discord server one day, and my brain, as it is wont to, combined two things into an image of ghost!Douxie teaching Krel to play the guitar. The next several lines of my part of the chat went like this:

Like, what if after the end of Wizards Douxie didn't come back to life but was just hanging around and vibing anyway, y'know, posthumously. At first he can't really do anything because [gestures] no corporeal body. But he's fun and snarky and a veritable encyclopedia of all things magical, so everyone just goes with it. Over time he starts to figure out the ghost thing and level up. Possesses Claire a time or two with her consent so they can manage something above her level. And then he figures out how to be a poltergeist, and, well, Bellroc and Skrael never knew what hit them. After all, what could they do, kill him again? At some point he figures out how to summon the ghost of his staff, and at that point he can pretty much be corporeal whenever he chooses.

At this point, that loose chain of ideas is all I have for the rest of this story. I might get around to writing it at some point, but I can't 100% promise that I will. But after Claycastles got excited over the idea, and enjoyed reading what of this I've got written above, I thought I'd release it for others to enjoy also, rather than leave it forever a WIP file on my computer.