Issei Hyoudou was living the high life. Sure, his legs were aching and his arms were falling off, but in the pursuit of being a gentleman and keeping the favor of the absurdly hot girl who'd actually offered to give him the time of day, all day, it was negligible. He snuck a look at the gorgeous brunette walking through the park beside him. The slim smile on her lips had his heart pounding out of his chest, and he fought back the blush crawling up his spine. God, he was so lucky. She'd chosen him, of all people! Suck it Kiba!

His hand wandered down to his pocket, feeling the hard plastic object he'd snuck in there. He'd bought it on a whim while Yuuma wasn't looking, because he thought it might look good on her? It wasn't pricy or anything, but...

"Hey, Yuuma-chan?"

She turned to him, a questioning look in her deep eyes, one that morphed to shock and something deeper when he reached up and brushed her hair back.

He redded slightly, and sharply withdrew his hand, fingertips tingling as she continued to look at him blankly. One of her hands reached up, and felt the little plastic butterfly clip that he had placed there, holding her hair away from her face. Her eyes suddenly had a strange look to them, oddly unfathomable for a second, though he swore he saw something flicker.

And then she was back to being Yuuma-chan, and Issei felt himself slowly breathe out, a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. She looked at him, and the look in her eyes was a little resolute. A kind of gentle firmness that had Issei swooning a little. She pouted a little as she spoke, and Issei couldn't even help himself from following her lips.

"Hey Issei, could you do me a favor?"

Issei Hyoudou's innocent heart beat a cherry-red rhythm against his chest. His animes had told him of this day. This day!

He was ready.

"Would you..."

Finally.

"..."

Any moment now.

"...kiss me?"

Holy shit.

"S-uyeah." Issei nearly bit his tongue in eagerness. He was actually somewhat troubled by how excited he found himself; looking good for this girl was hard.

He leaned in hesitantly. Virgins like him dreamed of this moment! How often had his fantasies strayed here?! How many times had he talked himself down from thinking about it? How many times had he drifted away in the middle of the girl's changing room, only to be caught?

Too many goddamn times. But now Yuuma was...right here. In front of him, eyes shut and lips pursed.

So why was he hesitating?

She smiled a little, her lips curling back into his line of sight, and she closed the gap for him. God help him, he still squeezed his eyes shut when it happened.

It tasted like victory. And a little salt, and maybe a little citrus too. In that order.

They both slowly opened their eyes at the same time, and Yuuma blushed in front of his eyes, so close he could make out the flush creeping up her neck and blooming on her cheeks. She gently turned away, hand going up to her lips and rubbing, while her eyes narrowed in something like...awe, maybe? Gotta be.

He wanted to lean in again and-

"Sorry, Issei." Her smile was a little twisted as she turned back to him. Maybe her lips felt numb too? But that smile looked decidedly odd on that cheery face, the one he'd seen shift so many times in joy and wistfulness. Alien, almost.

"It was fun."

She raised her hand and snapped her fingers.

Issei Hyoudou blinked. He'd been on a d-da-d'aventure? A french adventure? For...french...porn. French porn, maybe. A familiar word, yeah, he was out on an adventure for porn. Again. Some kind of...tits...? Some kind of fucked up shit, but then Matsuda was kind of a fucked up guy. It was probably him, anyway, he'd been ranting about the hidden ending of Bazongers Bonanza 4 and how it blew the rest out of the water. Shit, yeah, he'd been excited for that, hadn't he? Excited enough to wait...hm...where was he?

Issei suddenly shivered, a violent wave of cold suddenly catching him as a breeze gusted by. Looking around, it was dark, the lights were up...and he didn't have his jacket? He was in the park though. It was familiar, he'd been through the place so often, cursing the happy couples and praying for a girlfriend by the fountain.

"Thanks for lending me your jacket, kid."

A...girlfriend...by the fountain...

Issei's head snapped to the side with a violent crunch, the lovely voice suckering his attention like Motohama pulling a vhs out of a bag. Silky and dark, just the way he liked it, damn. The speaker was a girl about his age, heart shaped face pale in the night, with a glimmer of amusement in her eyes. Her dark tresses were parted and framed her face neatly, presenting the image of a pretty laid-back girl out for some fun. An image matched by her trendy outfit, but harshly contrasting the wry smile on her face, twisting her whole expression into something more sarcastic. It worked for her though. Hell, not much wouldn't.

The only thing that stuck out was the off-brand clip dangling off the side of her head. Ugh it was ugly, chunky plastic with colors faded on the edges.

Shit, she might have a boyfriend then, no way she'd care for something like that otherwise. Probably a sucker for his smooth talk. Fucking tryhards, ruining it for the rest of them.

Issei visibly deflated, limply holding out his hand. "T-thanks. For the jacket. Uh..."

"Yuuma Amano." She giggled lightly, and damn if that didn't perk him up. She thought he was funny. She'd laughed at him, and smiled at him.

That meant he had a shot with her right?! Right?! His animes told him so.

She smirked, and he had the eeriest feeling she could see right through him.

No...bad Issei. Bad. He did not have a shot with a girl like this, don't even. Any minute now, she'd kick his ass for...something. Something he probably did.

He swallowed, and felt his fingers reflexively close over his jacket as she swept it off her shoulders in one casual motion, and deposited it in his hand. "I appreciated it." She repeated. "Thanks for keeping me company until my appointment."

"That's what we were doing...?" He asked hazily, lost in her eyes. Her lips twisted, and she looked like she was forcing the smile a bit. "That's right." She giggled again. "You were a perfect gentleman."

"Oh." Issei said numbly. But I don't fucking remember a moment! Shit, what did I do?! What the fuck did I say?! "I-I'm glad."

"You are." She said. Oddly, she seemed a little piqued by this. There was a burgeoning sense of something off, and Issei was suddenly very aware of how dark it was and that there was no one for quite a bit of distance.

"Well then." Issei said, slowly. "Can I-"

She suddenly shot her left hand up - it had a really pretty white glove damn that looks good running up her wrist when she - she snapped her fingers.

Issei blinked muzzily. He felt kinda tired for some reason. His eyelids were kinda heavy, and he felt a massive yawn coming on. Stretching his bare arms, he promptly shivered violently.

His arms immediately came back, and wrapped around him, and he started looking around urgently. It was dark! What the hell was he doing here? He'd gone out for some porn, how the hell did he end up in the park at night without his - his jacket was in his hands why the hell was he holding it and not wearing it -

"Oi." A sultry voice snapped.

He shut his jaw so hard he felt one of his back teeth ache painfully. His eyes zeroed in on the babe crossing her arms and standing in front of him with an ugly look on her face.

He swallowed. Oh shit, had she seen him peeking at her panties? Fuck, think of an excuse, not her...

Her...hm. No memories came to mind. He hadn't actually peeked. That was new.

"I didn't do it." He said confidently, secure in actually being innocent for once. Justice was on his side!

"Shut the fuck up." She snapped. Issei flinched back a little. Okay, it wasn't like he couldn't think of several things he'd done to deserve that, but...

Well, shit. Got him there. He nodded dumbly, hopefully avoiding provoking her further.

"God, you're such a tool." She groaned. "Like, fuck. A fair? A movie? A cheap clip?" She snapped off some ugly-looking clip holding her hair back, and he barely noticed as she hurled it to the side impatiently. Even with the ugly look on her face, the way her now-loose fair drifted in front of her face was lovely. "The fuck. Is this the 80's or something? You gonna take me to a batting cage too?" She started stamping her little feet, over and over, like she was working off some energy.

"I could do that." Issei's mouth said on autopilot, the rest of him preoccupied ogling the very nice girl.

Then the rest of him caught up to what he said. Holy shit, when the hell did he grow balls like that? Wasn't that flirting? He was flirting wasn't he? Oh man, he was living his best life now!

"No!"

Or not. Issei got sad all over again.

"God, virgins!" She looked close to pulling at her hair. "You're all the same, 'I've got a plan!', 'I'll be as nice as possible so she doesn't hate me!', 'Maybe if I do everything she wants, she'll reciprocate!'."

Sounds logical Issei reasoned.

"You're all idiots! Trash!"

Sounds unreasonable Issei reasoned, but revised his eventually-totally-gonna-get-a-date-and-get-laid plans anyway.

"Look." Issei said slowly. "Um...did I...do something?"

She froze, and slowly turned to face him. Her eyes were red, and Issei felt his ass physically creep backwards and pull him along.

"NO!" She hissed. "You did NOTHING! Nothing of value! At all! You're a boring piece of shit! Your sacred gear is trash too! What the fuck are you even good for?!"

For all his distancing himself from the situation, both emotionally and physically, Issei did feel hurt by this.

Not because she was saying mean things - he heard worse all the time haha - but because he didn't have any idea what the fuck she was saying, and she didn't seem to care enough to explain. It was kinda scary, to be honest, but he was turned on anyway.

Also, she sounded chuuni as shit with that sacred gear stuff, which Issei also found kinda really cute.

"Can-can I help you with anything? Like, to make you less angry." God help him, he was charmed even when she was homicidally angry.

She paused for a second, eyes narrowing even further in thought. "Yeah, actually. Work on your kissing, 'cause that was bad. Like, fucking terrible. Actually no, wait, I take that back, don't bother."

Wait what.

She shoved a finger at him. "You're a fucking loser, Issei Hyoudou, and if you stay forever alone, so much the better!" Having said that, she threw both her hands in their air and screamed her lungs out, going until she petered off to a raspy giggle.

Oh man that was adorable.

"Hey now, you're making yourself out to be the bad person here." Issei said wisely. "You basically still have the moral high ground, but you're burning it fast, you know? Like, I did something apparently, and hell, I believe it, but you're going about it in the wrong way. People might even feel bad for me, you know?"

Her eyes went flat, but an odd smile stayed put on her face. "Right."

"Right." Issei clapped his hands. "Now, uh, what the fuck is going on so I can run-"

She snapped her fingers.

Issei's jaw hurt like shit.

"Damn, my jaw hurts." He mused. "That must've been some solid porn."
He slowly looked up and around. He was in the park at nighttime.

"Nix that." He said, slightly awestruck. "Godlike porn! I don't even remember going outside!" Fuck, Motohama would pay so much for-

"Yeah." A kinda bored sounding voice said, a little in front of him. It was a little raspy too, but the voice was still super hot so his head whipped down of its own volition.

As advertised, she was indeed super hot.

"Hi." Issei said numbly.

"Hi." She said, exasperated. Well. That was uncalled for, though maybe not so much considering that he might've put himself into a fugue state for a couple hours. No regrets.

"Can." He cleared his throat. "Can I help you?"

She sighed. "You kinda already did." She admitted. "Just needed to vent."

"Oh." He thought about it. "Was I weird?"

Her lips quirked. "Not so much. You really were a perfect gentleman."

"Cool."

She smirked a little, and slowly unwound the scarf from around her neck. Issei watched her. unsure what was going on, until she held it out to him.

"As thanks." She said, at Issei's blank look. He slowly took it, feeling it's softness. Cashmere? Damn, this was pricy stuff. He quickly moved to refuse, nothing he could have done was worth this much money, but she'd already stood up and was brushing off her lap.

"Think nothing of it." She said shortly. "It's not even really thanks, that was yours anyway."

"O-oh."

"I guess I'll have to think of a different way to thank you." She snickered softly to herself, and turned to walk off.

Issei panicked. He hadn't even said that much! She was so pretty, he was gonna just let her walk away after building some positive cred? Quick Issei, leverage her kindness! Burn those friend points!

"Hey, can I see your-"

"Fuck no."

She snapped her fingers behind her back.

Issei came to, bundled up on the fountain ledge with his jacket and a scarf.

Wait, the scarf wasn't even his, where...

A memory flashed through his mind, of helping a girl with her groceries, and her offering her scarf out of thanks.

Yeah...yeah, he'd helped out that pretty girl. Good on him! Hey, if he ever met her again, maybe he could ask her out.

He hopped to his feet, and started skipping his way home, barely noticing some plastic clip thing shatter under his foot. He felt pretty damn good actually, slight ache in his jaw aside, and a little tingling on his lips that tasted like some kinda wax or balm or something.

Good porn, good deed, some good food waiting at home. Hey, not a bad day!

The finger snapping is hypnosis. She hasn't changed anything but Issei's memories. Call it a creative liberty, but it's a fancy trick for fancy lasses. (Re: Questions of whether Raynare can reality warp - not any more than she already could.)