Ok here's chapter 9. i decided not to make a part struggle part 2...it just wasnt working for me. forgive me for waiting so long but my cursed writers block came back and everything i wrote just sounded well...fake, unrealistic, and for lack of a better word stupid. im trying very very hard to make rosalie and emmett's relationship seem deeper than everyone else thinks.Anyway, attempt to try to enjoy(haha) and review becuz i need to know what i need to fix. thanks.

Chapter 9

Emmett's POV

So, this was hell. Perhaps I deserved it, I thought. No. Nobody deserved this, no matter how messed up they were. I felt as if someone had set me on fire. I couldn't take much more of this. My angel was holding my hand all the while smiling and occasionally lowering her cool lips to my hand. I didn't understand what was happening; all that mattered was that she was with me.

The thought of her leaving me pained me, and I didn't know why. None of this made sense. Why was this angel, my beautiful angel in hell with me? She smiled down at me and I attempted a grin in return.

"It will be over soon Emmett, then we can be together, forever…wouldn't you like that?" She said in that tempting, celestial voice of hers. To have my angel forever…I couldn't ask for more. I didn't understand what she was going on about…then again I didn't care. All I heard was forever and I closed my eyes and tried to picture me and the angel together forever. If this was a dream, I did not want to wake up. The pain was unearthly and it was increasing by the minute. I said her name over and over to block it out. Rosalie.

Rosalie's POV

My breath caught in my throat as his eyes fluttered open. It was awkwardly quiet for a time as he stared at me frowning as if he had just woken from a dream. I was at a loss for words. This should be easy, I told myself. It should be, but it wasn't. I had gone through this a thousand times in my head as my beloved writhed in pain. Dread grabbed at me as he looked up into my eyes with question.

"Emmett," I whispered not knowing how to begin.

He sat up and gazed at his new white hands. He began touching his face and his hair. Then, as if nothing happened he turned back to me and smiled. "Rosalie?" He asked.

I nodded. "Yes, Emmett, I am here…how do you feel?" It was a stupid question but I could think of nothing else to say.

He thought for a moment. "I'm cold." He said matter-of-factly. Something gave way in me, and I laughed…I had not laughed in so long. Of all the things he could have said. I shook my head at his sweet innocence. He seemed quite pleased with himself that he could make me laugh. The light feeling left me as soon as Carlisle walked through the door. I had to stop beating around the bush and get it over with. Carlisle looked at me and knew I had not told Emmett yet.

He sat down near Emmett and looked to me. "Would you like me to-?"

"No Carlisle, thank you but no, I have to do this by myself." "You can't always hold my hand."

He nodded and exited politely.

I strode over to the small desk in the corner and took out a hand mirror. I stood there facing the wall, looking at myself. Would he want this? Would he be afraid of what he was, as I sometimes was? I went back over to him and stroked his cheek, placing the dusty mirror in his hand. He wiped off the dust silently and gazed at himself with shaking hands. His perfect lips parted but nothing came out. I shivered turning away. What had I done? He ran his pallid fingers through his hair and across his face.

"Well," He finally said. "That's odd." What? What was he talking about?

He continued turning the mirror this way and that as if the reflection would miraculously change.

"I'm…"

"You are beautiful." I finished for him. "You always have been."

He smiled, still confused. "But I don't understand."

"I love you Emmett, when you love someone, you love all of them right?" I asked my voice shaking.

He nodded, studying my face as if I might vanish into thin air at any second.

"I am not human Emmett," I said looking away from him. I wanted to die. Those words cut me deeply. I was not human, and I never would be again.

He smiled and reached out to touch my hair. I let my head drop, I couldn't look at him. What did he think of me now?

"Well of course you aren't human; you're an angel...only an angel could be so beautiful."

If I were able to blush, at that moment, I would have. I took his hand in mine. Why didn't he understand? Why wasn't this sweet human repulsed by me as everyone else seemed to be?

"No Emmett, I am not angel, much worse than an angel, I'm a vampire." I said lower than a whisper. He heard me.

"What?" He frowned. "What are you talking about?" He asked but I silenced him by quickly seizing his hand and pressing it to my chest. I had caught him off his guard. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat.

"Ah," He cleared his throat again. "What are you doing?"

I frowned at him trying to be patient. "If you cannot feel, then listen," I said pulling his ear to my chest.

It took his less than a minute to notice the absence of my heart beat.

"Wow," was all he said. He said it again, and put his hand over my non beating heart. I pulled away from him and pressed his hand against his own chest.

"I'm a vampire Emmett… and you…" I wasn't able to finish.

"I'm one too," He stared down at his hands as if he had never seen them before.

I nodded. The silence that followed nearly drove me mad. I stared at his face trying to read his expression.

"I still don't understand," he whispered. "How?" "I thought dreaming… I thought I was dead."

He scratched his head in frustration. "Am I dreaming still? Am I dead?"

"No Emmett you aren't dreaming and you aren't…" I stopped myself then. He was dead in a way. I had killed him without a second thought.

"Let me explain," I faltered.

I began to babble. I told him about the bear, how I saved him and how I brought him to Carlisle so he could be saved.

"I saved you Emmett…you were dying. All I could think of was getting you safe I didn't think about whether you wanted this life. I should have but I didn't. And I…I can't rewind time no matter how badly I want to." "I can't be human again, and so I live with what I am, what I will always be." You Emmett are what makes my life worth living." "I've watched you. I know your smile, your voice…" My voice caught in my throat. I would not cry in front of him. "And I've stolen your life from you just as mine was stolen from me, but I don't regret it. I don't believe this is a mistake. In fact, it is the only thing I've done right since I became what I am. The way you looked at me when I dropped you in the woods…it made me feel loved, like it was truly possible for someone to want me, despite what I am. It was selfish to include you in my black existence but I love you… can you love me?" I realized I was shaking and stopped myself. There was silence as I awaited his response. I could just hear Edward now. I told you so, He would say. Carlisle would probably think the same thing, but he would never say it. What had I done? The dread finally consumed me and I began sobbing into Emmett's now stone hard chest. Not only was I a monster, I was a selfish one too. I bit down on my lip hard.

"Forgive me," I said lower than a whisper. He didn't respond, though with his new hearing, I knew he had heard me perfectly.

i apologize if the chapter is not hmm "satisfying" lol. stick with me im trying.