Chapter 17: Down Once More.
Darkness was falling outside of the theatre and yet inside things remained bright. There was much to much work to be done to let things slip to suddenly into the darkness. However, the darkness was what Meg really longed for. She found herself wishing for the council and the encouragement from the Phantom, but sadly she believed that her news would through him into yet another fit of his depression. Slowly she moved through the theatre, trying to remain unseen, as she made her way to the great, spiral of stone steps, that lead down into the darkness. Once more she would find herself heading down and longing for what she found at the bottom. She felt safe and comfortable with the prospect of seeing Erik again because she knew that none of this was forced upon her. It was her own choice to go to him and to take from him the knowledge that he could give.
A cool burst of air hit her face as she entered into the darkness of the stairs. The sound of her feet on the stone echoed as she walked. She held her ballet slippers close to her heart a she descended, faster and faster into the silence that was below. It was like she couldn't wait any longer to tell him of what had happened that day. Even if he already knew she felt that she needed to see him and to talk to him and that somehow he would make things right, or at least feel right. She hoped that he would be able to advise her on how to proceed into this new stage of life.
Downward she travelled, it almost felt like there were more stairs than before. Her eyes took a long time to adjust to the darkness. She felt herself slowing down as the darkness grew thicker and she couldn't see in front of her. It was almost as if there was a fog filling the cylinder that sunk into the earth. Cool air from below was mixing with the warm air above, it gave her chills. She had to stop. A fear and panic set in, she couldn't tell where she was or how far she had travelled. The cold was thick and her arms were bare in the practice garments she had been wearing. She had left her rose blanket behind in her room. It was now something she treasured greatly and didn't want the others to notice it, but now she longed to have it wrapped around her. She closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down but she was feeling dizzy and off balance. She moved so that she was sitting down and leaned against one wall.
"You'll be fine," she told herself as she blinked her eyes trying to get them to focus, "you're just scared, everything will be fine in a moment," she whispered to herself as she closed her eyes again.
"Take my hand," Erik's voice could be heard in the darkness.
"Where are you?" Meg asked as she opened her eyes again to the darkness.
"Right before you," he said and touched her hand, "I'll guide you out of this fog, come." he said softly almost in a whisper.
Meg was almost reluctant as she took hold of his hand and followed him. She moved slowly, but he didn't seem to mind. The darkness was so thick she had to feel, with her feet, her way down the stairs. It was a slow process and the fog never seemed to get any lighter. It was as if it remained fixed in placed.
"This is so strange," she said as she stumbled a little and Erik caught her.
"I apologies, it is my fault," Erik said as they continued to walk.
"You control the fog?" Meg asked, awe filling her voice.
"It isn't as complicated as one might thing," Erik said a bit of a chuckle on his voice, "I just can't risked the new comers travelling to deep into the earth. It is all part of my security here."
"I understand," Meg said as she held tighter to his hand and silently followed him into the darkness.
This woman held tight to his hand. Erik could feel her insecurities and hesitations as they walked. She didn't speak anymore as they moved on but the tightening and loosening of her grip spoke volumes of the trust she had developed in him. She pulled back feeling the edge of the steps. They were uneven, he could tell that she felt them, and this was building her insecurities. After a few moments he felt her grip change again. She whimpered as she tripped and regained her balance but her hand now shook. He stopped, he had grown accustom to the fog, he created it. It was a measure of precaution to keep newcomers from letting their curiosity take over but now he was feeling guilty for putting her through it.
"Why have we stopped?" Meg asked her voice shaking, "I can't hear the water, nor do I feel the dampness, only cold and silence."
He let go of her hand for only a moment.
"Where did you go," she cried as she dropped her ballet slippers in a panic and through her hands out before her, "please don't leave me in this," her voice cracking with emotion.
"I'm right here," he said grabbing one of her hands again. He had removed his gloves to feel her better and was shocked by the chill that her cold fingers gave him, "you're frigged, Meg," he said as he held her tiny hands.
"I didn't think to dress for something like this," she said as his touched seemed to calm her.
"Come, we'll hurry on," he said quickly, "you'll be warmer once we are further below."
Meg shivered a little, not from the cold but from the warmth of his hands and the gentleness in which he held hers. It was a strange feeling for her. She felt cold and yet the warmth from his hands seemed to warm her much deeper than she could imagine. His hands were soft but strong, it was clear that he was very proper by the way he took care of his hands.
Meg pulled herself closer to him, her entire body was shaking now, not with cold but from the fright, "oh thank god," she whispered clearly holding back her tears.
"You need not worry," he whispered as he felt the weight of her against him. Her free arm had rapped itself around his waist and her head rested on his chest. He could feel her trembling all over, "I wont let anything happen to you." they stood in an embrace in the darkness for a long moment as Meg composed herself.
Realising what she had done in her fear, Meg quickly pulled away from him. The darkness was still very thick and she didn't release his hand but she did put space between their two bodies, "I'm sorry," she said as she took a deep breath to calm herself, then she bent down, never letting go of his hand, and felt the floor for her slippers. She found them and stood again, "I am ready to continue now," she said and fell silent again.
They walked onward, the darkness clearing only slightly. Meg could now see the edge of the steps at her feet but still couldn't make out any of the Phantom's features, aside from his now gloveless hands. Soon they stopped, before they reached the water, and the wall of stone was moved aside again.
Behind the wall the air was warmer and the darkness wasn't thick with fog but Meg continued to hold tight to his hand. She remained fixed to him until they stepped out into the light of the Phantom's green space. Tiny white flowers had appeared in the mossy ground cover. The animals rested lazily here and there as they walked toward the house. It looked more beautiful than before and smelled of fresh spring rain. Meg was amazed that so much life could happen so far below the surface.
When they reached the great doors Erik finally turned back to her and looked deep into her eyes. She couldn't make out his expression behind his masked as he looked at her. Feeling almost defeated she looked to the ground.
"What horrors have passed today?" he asked as he walked closer to her and placed his hands on her shoulders.
Meg looked up, touched the mask on his face, and pulled it off before she spoke, "Christine Daae has returned," she said and watched as his faced changed before her eyes. His hands fell away from her and an aching grew in her heart, "I'm so very sorry to bring you this news," she said as she lowered her eyes to the ground and began to cry.
The expression on his face was that of a terrible realisation. Was his heart ready for her to be back. But something else ached within him, what was he feeling now? Why did he feel so much pain for this girl before him who wept, not to look on his face but to see into his soul. He knew that she had seen his change and could tell, as she cradled the mask in her hand, that she had been dreading her task of telling him.
"Why is she back," Erik asked as he sat down on the steps before his house and looked up at Meg.
"Mother says that she has no where else to go. That the Viscount is dead and that her money is gone," Meg said softly through her tears.
"And you don't believe this to be true?" Erik asked still looking up at her.
"I am a terrible person to be thinking it," Meg sobbed as she collapsed to her knees before this man, "she was my friend and yet I can't see her coming back to this."
"Because of me?" Erik asked as he took her face in his hands.
Meg shook her head, "no, I think you are the reason she has come back. But not for the reason which you desire," her voice cracked, "I am a terrible person to think it." she sobbed.
"No," Erik said, "you aren't, because you are probably right. Your heart is to pure, and you wear it on your sleeve. You are so very upset because you know of the corruption of man but you do not want to see your friend falling subject to it, but you know that it must be true. You believe that Christine has come back for the publicity and the fame of the controversy, don't you?"
Tears streamed down Meg's face and into his hands. He had read everything that had been in her mind. Was it flowing out of her like the water from her eyes? Was he absorbing it as they fell. She nodded and pulled herself away. She sobbed into her hands, which still held the Phantom's mask.
"Why, do you cry such tears for me?" he asked as he reached out to her again, "I am nothing but a beast. This face that attracts the horrors of the world and brings the negative attention that everyone is seeking."
"I'm not," Meg said, "never, ever would I seek anything like that, I promise you that," she said as she held the mask to her heart.
Erik's eyes softened then, he looked at the poor girl. Her face was red and patched from crying. It almost reminded him of his own face, though her redness would fade and his would last forever. Not knowing where the emotion came from, he moved forward and pulled the girl toward him. Her face sunk into his clothing and her body rested heavily against his, "I know you would never treat me like that," he said as he gently rocked her and caressed her hair, "thank you for showing me such kindness."
"No one deserves what people put you through," Meg sobbed as she embraced him back, "I am sorry for them, though I cannot undo what they have done, I can try and protect you from it, from now on."
"How will you protect me?" Erik chuckled a little as he moved her to look into her eyes, "it is I who should protect you."
"You've given me far greater things than protection," Meg said with a sniffle, "please, promise me you'll allow me to try."
Erik looked lovingly down into her tear stained eyes. He had so many questions for her about what he was feeling. It wasn't anything he had ever felt with Christine or for her. Was this love? He asked himself as he felt himself holding tighter onto this woman. She looked on him without fear and carried with her a great heartache for him, could she be feeling it too? He wondered.
"Please," she begged as she looked up at him, "please be careful, I am afraid that nothing is to go right from now on. I am so very afraid for you. How can any good come from this now. Please, oh please just stay down here and let the opera die. I couldn't bare to know that anything bad could happen again."
"Meg, it is beyond stopping now," he said, "if it is to happen then we must let it. I couldn't possibly stop the art now."
"But its not the art that is flowing out of control, it is the greed and the hatred," she said as she pulled herself up to look into his eyes.
"You cannot stop the corruption, it will always be there and it will always grow worse, we have to adapt to it," he said.
"No, we could hide from it, down here where its beautiful and quiet and simple," she said as tears continued to roll down her face, "no one will find us here."
"I could never keep you down here," he whispered.
"I want to stay," she persisted.
"Meg, please listen to me, I could never keep you down here when you do so much for your craft, for the art. It would be a crime to the arts to take you away from the stage. To not let the rest of the world see the beauty of your dance. You have to dance, for the love of it and the art of it you have to. Not for the money or the fame or any of those things that glow to brightly and cloud the minds of men, but because you are the living art. Do you understand, this show must happen to show the world the beauty that is you," he said as he wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"Oh, but how can it be beautiful?" she asked her eyes pleading for the knowledge she wished so much for, "how can I make it beautiful if I they can't appreciate the beauty that is in you?"
Erik was touched by her words. No one had ever said anything was ever beautiful about him and here was a young woman, who's heart was flowing out like her tears, and who looked upon him with no fear, and was telling him there was beauty in him. How could it be possible. He knew that his music was beautiful but he never thought it of himself. He looked at her with questions in his eyes.
"How can a man, who write music as you do, who makes the music flow that inspires the dance and the singing not be beautiful himself?" she said as she looked deep into his eyes, "I know you want to know the answers. Its inside you and always has been." she sighed and pulled away from the embrace. She moved herself so that she now sat beside him on the steps and looked out on the green space. The peace and the beauty that lay deep below the surface of the earth. She pulled his arm around her and moved closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder, "I'll dance as long as you want me to dance, and I'll dance as long as you continue to let the beauty within you flow out," she whispered, "because it is that music that makes me see and feel the beauty of the dance. I can't see it with all the corruption and the lies that people are telling. But if you believe it is there then I will continue."
"Then it is settled," he said as he leaned into her.
"I suppose it is," she sighed, "but how are we to change all the bad to good?"
"We'll make it right," he whispered and held her on the steps of his quiet world. It seemed more peaceful and welcoming than it had every felt before.