Issei stumbled into class, exhausted. The sunlight was almost painfully bright, refracting through the window panes, but it wasn't bright enough to mask out Motohama and Matsuda's taunting grins beside his desk.

He paused in front of it, looming over them as they craned their heads back to make sure he could see them laughing at him.

"Look guys, ..." He started, but gave up when their smiles widened.

There was no winning this.

He resigned himself to a long day and collapsed into Matsuda's desk instead, feeling their stares like a physical heat on the side of his head. Like a gyroscope, the locus of their attention swirled around him, and he wasn't feigning his nausea. He started scratching his chest absently as they repositioned around him.

"So..." Motohama whispered, now behind his left shoulder. "How was the date, loverboy."

Issei slowly closed his eyes.

"Did you touch her tits." Matsuda hissed. "Did you hit second base?"

Issei sighed heavily. They held their breaths, waiting. They already knew. They could tell from his face. They just wanted to hear him say it.

"I blew it."

Motohama and Matsuda high-fived behind his head. Issei slowly leaned his head back, and braced himself.

Motohama put his fingers in his mouth, and blew out a piercing whistle. "HEY GUYS, ISE GOT SHOT DOWN."

There was a moment of blessed, respectful silence before everyone burst into raucous laughter. He endured a small storm of headpats and ruffles as the classroom gathered around him to celebrate his misery. He felt himself physically curl into himself as Aika parked her ass on his desk and started taking pictures.

"I'll send you copies for your scrapbook!" She explained sweetly. "I hear some people document their failures to learn how to get over them."

"You know," she added smugly. "For next time."

His neck and jaw were already aching from how tense he was, but he felt his back physically cement into cords.

"I didn't get shot down." He mumbled angrily, burying his face.

"Don't worry Issei-kun." Said Riajuu-kun, and his unpleasant girlfriend smiled at him. "It's perfectly normal."

"It's a part of life!" Said Dickface-kun. Prick-san agreed with several strong nods that sent his chins a-wobble. "You'll learn to get over it!"

"It's not the end of the world!" Bitch-chan made sure to remind him.

Issei tremulously smiled in a way that somehow failed to convey how much he hated every single thing right now, as they laughed and patted him on the back.

Aika however, continued to grin and sit on his desk, occasionally snapping pictures.

"What." Issei snapped. She snickered and snapped another one. Incensed, Issei reached over and slapped the camera out of his face, an action she only laughed harder at as she hopped to her feet.

"You're more smug than usual Kiryuu." Motohama folded his arms and observed.

She danced from foot to foot, grinning. "I got an Op/Ed column in Kuoh Today! to write a segment on." She licked her lips, and spun on her heel, pointing to another boy walking back to the front. "See Kazuo-kuuunthere?"

The boy in question was standing tall and swaggering a bit, slightly bowlegged and careless. His hair was short-cropped over a slab of a brow, but his eyebrows were raised as though in perpetual surprise.

"He had sex last night."

"What?!" "How can you tell?!" "No fucking way."

"Way." Aika grinned. "I bet I could pin down the girl who did it in a day or two if I cared, but she doesn't matter. Point is, a guy only has that much confidence in his mediocre looks after his luck turns up heads."

The boys winced. They may have considered themselves better looking than Kazuo, but not by that much.

"Contrast!" Aika whirled around and jabbed a finger into Issei's face. "This sad fuck. Pathetic. You look like someone shit in your cheerios. You didn't get dumped, you got crushed."

Issei collapsed into his arms, falling onto his table with a rattling thump.

"I'm gonna call it 'A Dichtomy of Choices'." Aika chortled maliciously. Motohama and Matsuda's teeth were chattering as they stared down the girl who, despite being of even height, towered over them.

Issei felt a lone tear come to his eyes.

"Alright you unpleasant shitheads, sit down." Hana-sensei yelled, sliding the door open with her foot, arms full of a binder and a cup of coffee*.

*Hana-sensei was infamous for spiking her coffee with blends potent enough to have some third-years hurling after several ill-thought out dares.

The class was immediately forced to step back and away, lest they incur just wrath. Issei took a brief moment to bless Hana-sensei's wellbeing for the first time ever, as they watched Aika slouch over to her desk with a dissatisfied expression.

The usual procedures followed, though Issei didn't even bother standing to bow. It was worth the chalk to the head to save that energy.

Motohama tossed his hand up. "Sensei!" He hollered. "I sent in an email yesterday-"

"Yeah I got it." She grumbled. "Sit the fuck down, you can leave early."

Issei and Matsuda whipped their heads over to look at him. He shrugged, adjusting his specks. "It's legit."

"What happened?" Issei asked, grateful for the topic shift.

Motohama scratched his chin awkwardly. "So I was playing Tekken right? Some dude was lag-switching-"

"You can't lag-switch in Tekken, dude." Issei folded his arms.

"-he wascheating, my inputs were landing off." Motohama glared at the weakly grinning boy. "Anyway, I tossed my controller at the wall cause I was pissed off, but when I went to get it, I slammed my foot against the wall, and bruised my little toe. The nail fell off."

Matsuda stared at him. "The fuck? That can happen?"

Motohama grimaced. "Apparently."

Matsuda shuddered violently. "Nuh-uh. I don't fucking like that. The fuck is that?"

Issei absently scratched his chest. "Nah, I get that weird shit too. I woke up with hives on my gut. Itchy as hell."

"Ew."

"I know right." Issei nodded morosely. "Weird as hell."

"Nah, actually." Matsuda said, rolling his shoulder. "Happens on the track team once in a while. Friction and sweat. Did you run somewhere in tight clothes, then sleep without changing?"

Issei was still crying as he rounded the corner to the park, tears rolling down his face and dripping off his nose. His clothes were ruined, he thought absently, stretched and probably stained with all kinds of shit. Dust and...stuff. Fuck, he hated this, he hated-

"Nah." Issei said blandly. Matsuda tossed his hands up. "Got me then. Might be an allergy."

"You should get that shit checked out." Motohama advised, settling down into Issei's seat. Matsuda shrugged, sitting down in Ayame's seat, who stood behind him looking irritated indeed before she gave up and walked around them to slump into Motohama's seat.

"Thank fuck that's done." Hana-sensei grumbled, taking a deep slurp. "It's self-study, the new Fire Emblem's out and Sensei needs her kickback."

That said, she collapsed into her seat and the entire classroom gave up the pretense of giving a shit about work.

Matsuda began doodling something and Motohama dropped his pencil outright and started staring at the girls in the class.

Issei, however, seized his notebook and started writing. He'd skipped working to go out with...to head out early yesterday, and sorta banked on Hana-sensei being a lazy shit so he could complete next period's assignment.

The sound of writing filled the air for 20 minutes or so, and Issei ignored the odd looks his classmates were sending him to focus. He ended up guessing on a lot of it, but the comfort of taking his mind off...stuff, and just focus on something else felt nice.

But all good things came to an end, and Issei eventually leaned back with a creaking sigh, slapping his books shut.

So what's the plan now?" Issei mused, leaning against the back of his seat. Twin vertebral snaps heralded Motohama and Matsuda laser-focusing on him, and he nearly recoiled at the stone-faced seriousness they bore. The two stood up and dragged their seats over quickly, slamming the desks together. Matsuda, especially, looked eager, and quickly proved why; the momentum from the impact swung his suspiciously bulging backpack up, and he caught and tossed it on the table.

It popped open, and with a sound like the trumpets of heaven, vhs after cd after vhs spilled out. Issei trembled in his seat. "Ah, Matsuda-kun, what is this?"

"It's porn." Matsuda whispered gently.

Issei took a long moment to stop, and look at it. Really look at it. Medium after medium of petty joy, the kind that made Ayame turn away and Aika point and laugh. But out of the corner of his eyes, he spotted Motohama and Matsuda looking at him anxiously, trading somewhat nervous looks.

He sighed again. He thought about black hair swishing through dusty pews, blonde shining in the moonlight, a smile like winter and a voice like thunder.

"Got any nun porn?" Issei asked automatically.

Motohama took his glasses off, briefly dabbed at his eyes, before snapping them back on and standing. "To the AV room!"

"So you were here."

Issei tipped back his seat and looked overhead at an upside-down Kiba gingerly stepping around the audio equipment in disarray all around the room.

Matsuda hit pause on the video, casting an appreciative look at the still frame that did wonders for showing off the actresses assets.

"What's up." Issei asked lazily. He felt good. This was nice. The kind of normality that he hadn't realized he'd clung to so strongly.

Kiba ignored the screen pointedly, instead coming to a rest on the side of the room, leaning against a server rack.

"It's somewhat chilly in here, no?" He observed mildly.

"Sure is." Matsuda grunted. "Gotta keep the equipment cold or it overheats."

He cast a curious look at the unlocked door, and Motohama sighed and answered the unspoken question.

"We cut a deal with Mr. Yokatsu." He idly kicked a computer; it whirred and spat out it's disk reader. "We maintain the machines, and we get free use of the room at all hours." He grinned and pointed at the plasma screen 32-inch balanced precariously on four power cables, with the lovely blonde actress still frozen front and center. "And also all the broken electronics. Ms. Yamada handed this one off 'cause the wall mount broke."

"Luxury upgraaaade!" Issei sang.

"We usually don't bother so much these days, Matsuda has a better rig at home, but Ise needed some cheering up." Motohama continued moodily.

Kiba snorted a bit. "I heard rumor that Ise-san had come down with lovesickness."

Matsuda leaned back in his seat and rolled his eyes. "Implying that this nerd is actually in love."

Kiba actually cocked a head at that, as Issei glared at Matsuda.

"I've been tellin' Issei all day. He's not in love with her." Matsuda's muffled voice said, swallowing a bit of popcorn. "He's in lust."

"...in lust." Kiba's voice was dry. "I see."

"Come on man," Motohama's voice was pained. "I know you're a jealous little bitch-"

"No shut the fuck up Moto." Matsuda threw some popcorn at his head. "I know what the fuck I'm talking about."

"Prove it." Motohama mumbled, crunching the popcorn he'd been tossed.

Matsuda whirled around. "Issei. Name something you like about this chick."

"Don't I get any say in this topic?!" Issei cried. "What the hell is this?! I never asked for this shit, man!"

"Answer the question." Matsuda growled.

"Er..." Issei cast his mind out for an answer. "Her face."

Matsuda raised a brow. "Something else."

"Her chest." Issei snapped back.

"Something else." Matsuda continued relentlessly.

Issei's mind went blank. "Her...hair?"

Matsuda stared him. "Pick something that isn't to do with her appearance?"

"Her...smile." Issei worried his lip.

"That's still physical."

"I dunno!" Issei exploded. "I got nothing!"

"Exactly!" Matsuda exclaimed triumphantly. "You ain't got shit!"

"The hell does that mean?" Motohama asked, intrigued despite himself.

"It means that this little fuck duped himself." Matsuda folded his arms. "I can prove it. You wanna know the fuck how? He was surprised when she wasn't interested in him, and, in his own words not 15 minutes ago, 'maybe turned out to be a bad person'. Case in point, he doesn't know shit about her, the fuck is that love worth." Matsuda threw his hands up. "He even told us that he followed her cause she felt lonely! The fuck man?! Sing to the moon, it's a helluva lot lonelier than she is! Sing to the sun, the stars in the sky, or the clouds drifting by!" Matsuda's head tilted down, and he stared at Issei with something approaching anger in his eyes. "But don't, don't delude yourself into thinking you love her, that a pretty face and a sob story are enough for that kinda shit."

There was silence for a second.

"Jesus fuck man." Said Motohama, impressed. Issei quailed a bit further into his seat, having been forced into it by Matsuda's words. "Dude, why are you so fucking tilted."

"BECAUSE I WANT MY BIG TIDDY GOTH GF'S LOVE TO BE MORE MEANINGFUL THAN THIS BULLSHIT!" Matsuda roared to the heavens, standing and punching at the ceiling. "IF THIS IS LOVE, THE FUCK AM IGONNA HAVE TO SETTLE FOR?!"

He fell quiet, arms falling to the side and reddening as slow smiles crept across their faces.

"I mean..." he said. "I uh, I was lookin' out for Issei."

He coughed a little.

Motohama snapped and began howling with laughter, and an enraged Matsuda began hurling empty cd boxes at him.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Y-y-you sad fuck!" Motohama choked. "Oh my god."

Issei leaned his head back with a quiet thump. "Why the fuck was I even worried about what this dumbass had to say." He sighed quietly. His head lolled to the left, and he looked at Kiba dully. "Hey, do us a solid." He stretched a bit. "Don't tell anyone else we're here. It's a bit of a secret."

Kiba looked like he was fighting back a smile, but his lips were quirking up. "This seems rather compromising to be caught in, then?"

Issei's ears caught the laughter, and he sat bolt upright as the words registered. "Caught?" Motohama and Matsuda stopped wrestling to focus in Kiba's words, blank cd's slowly crackling underfoot.

Kiba leaned away, catching a stray sunbeam on his fine-boned face and widening smile. "Ah, did I forget to mention? It is why I dropped by. President Sona is on her way, you know?"

The room exploded into a flurry of panic and screams.

"That bitch!" Matsuda gibbered. "I knew she had it out for us!"

"Of course she does." Kiba blinked slowly, unruffled.

Motohama groaned, bodily hurling dvd's into his backpack by the handful. "Issei, cleanup protocol."

"On it." Issei seized the computer, tore out the wires, and lifted it.

"Ah, Ise-san, maybe that's not-"

Then slammed the wide side across his knee, where it shattered into a mass of flying plastic, disk tape and chipsets.

His thigh hurt, but his heart hurt more. As the shattered wreck of B.D. went flying past, they collectively shed a tear.

Godspeed

Kiba looked like he was blinking away a headache, but still managed to smile politely. "What now?"

Matsuda coughed a bit as he pulled some dusty safety masks from the top row of a crooked shelving unit. Waving the dust away, he tossed Kiba a spare mask, handing Issei and Motohama ones with their names on it before pulling on his own.

"Now, you look busy." Issei's muffled voice said. "S.O.P. for council checkups."

"Normally we get formal notice." Motohama said, grabbing a broom and starting to sweep pieces into the corner. "But someone must've tipped them off. Kiba, you mind helping?"

Kiba blinked, startled. "Ah, yes, Motohama-san?"

Matsuda tossed him a dirty monitor, one Kiba fumbled with for a second before hefting it without even a grunt. Issei whistled, impressed. Matsuda had pulled that on him before; those were at least 30 pounds still. "E-waste." Came Matsuda's grumpy reply, clearly disappointed by Kiba's dexterity. "Take it out back? No need to get you wrapped up in this. Moto, can you-"

"Actually." Issei spoke up, mind racing. "I'll show him where it is."

Matsuda paused, turning to look at him eye to eye, before nodding. "Sure. You're gonna take the stairwell route then?"

Issei nodded, before tapping Kiba on the shoulder and guiding him out of the room carefully. Once they left, Issei picked up the pace, heading to the back exit of their building.

"Stairwell route?" Kiba asked curiously behind him.

"The long way around." Issei replied without turning. "I needed to talk to you about something."

Kiba sucked in a quick breath, before his pace grew more measured.

"Very well Ise-san. Please speak."