These Silent Hearts
"It's a good thing we dressed warmly." Joe turned his head every-which-way so as not to run over any of the people trudging up the snowy road. "I didn't think this many Americans were into rally."
"They're not, to be fair," Michiru said from the passenger seat. "Most of these people are the drivers' team members and hardcore fans."
Joe felt like such a novice compared to Michiru. She'd given their fellow passengers, Makoto and Nicholas, a brief overview of the event, teaching him a few things in the process. The Cascade Run was the antepenultimate stage in the North Fire Rally which consisted of eleven courses in various countries. The regional competition was only open to residents of Washington, Idaho, Oregon, California, and Alaska as a means to appeal to more American drivers. The international competition was much more cutthroat since teams could earn sponsorships from many auto-related companies if they were skilled enough. Michiru said the fiercest rivalry existed between Subaru and Mitsubishi, and the teams representing them occupied first and second place overall.
They came upon pockets of tents and trailers as they continued up the mountain to the main site. There were no parking spaces to be found so Joe drove the Samurai onto a snow pile and everyone hopped out. He directed Rei, who had also driven, onto another mound her Acura couldn't have handled without tire chains. Everyone loaded up on hot beverages and food before perusing the vendors and team booths, a source of much geeking-out. "I thought you said this was nothing to get excited about," Mina teased, nudging Kaelan. "You said it was just sanctioned speeding."
"Yeah, well…" He rubbed the back of his neck and avoided her and Joe's smug looks. "I appreciate well-built machines. My car wasn't made for this kind of thing."
"And what car would that be?" asked a voice no one recognized. It belonged to a tall, thin man in a driver's jumpsuit. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of sleek sunglasses and his hair was very pale blond in color, like tropical sand. He leaned against the Mitsubishi Evolution they'd been admiring, tilting his head in curiosity.
Kaelan audibly gulped. "I have… a… Maserati MC Stradale."
The racer nodded his approval. "You're right, a car like that is more suited for GT than rallycross." He smiled a little, then raised his glasses. "Long time no see, Michiru."
Everyone gasped and looked at the violinist as she visibly tensed. "Haruka. I see you're doing well."
"Haruka?" Usagi repeated in disbelief. "You mean he's a girl?"
Michiru only nodded. Haruka smirked before approaching her, the group parting. She was more androgynous than Zach; not even her tone of voice belied her gender and her nearly six-foot stature was enhanced by her willowy frame. Her smile turned frosty as she looked down on Michiru with a hint of contempt in her steel blue eyes. "What're you doing here?"
"My friends wanted to watch the rally," Michiru replied.
"But not you," she said scathingly.
"I wasn't expecting to see you in person."
Haruka glared and leaned forward until their noses were almost touching. "I wasn't expecting to see you ever again." She began to say more, but someone called her name through a megaphone and she left with a scoff.
Nicholas waited a few seconds before asking, "What was that about?" since their exchange had been in Japanese.
Makoto made the connection. "High-end cars… Is she the one who taught you to drive?" Michiru gave a tiny nod. "You knew her in high school?"
She sighed deeply. "Tenou Haruka was a track and field star at Mugen Academy. She was a natural given her build, and she broke a lot of records. We became friends in music class because she also played piano, but after school she'd head to a garage to work on cars. She loved racing more than anything. During our second year, she was approached by a company that wanted to sponsor her. She said I should support her if I loved her, but I couldn't bear the thought of losing her in a wreck. I told her that if she really loved me, she wouldn't do it because it was too dangerous." Michiru's gaze fell to the dirt.
"I guess she chose cars over you," Mina remarked.
"I understood why– it was so selfish of me to give her an ultimatum. Haruka dropped out of high school to focus on racing. She won three Junior World Rally Championships in a row and she's moving up to the main event next year. A lot of people are watching her in North Fire to see if she really has a chance at a WRC trophy."
"And you know all this because you've been following her career," Joe deduced. Michiru ducked her chin again. "We don't have to stay if you don't want to."
Michiru tutted at that. "I'm not going to make all of you leave just because I have a history with one of the competitors. Let's go find a good vantage point." The eight of them returned to their vehicles and proceeded upward to a scenic pull-off. They could see about half the course winding through the little valley. Cars disappeared at the top of the foothill, followed a logging road down through the forest, then crossed a shallow flooded section of the Skykomish River. Although that segment was out of sight, they heard cheering mixed with rumbling exhaust and roaring engines before the cars came hurtling by.
It only took about fifteen minutes for a driver in the amateur division to lose control after drifting around the corner. He slid off the road and his rear bumper was ripped off by a tree, sending chunks of fiberglass everywhere. "Eina!" Nicholas exclaimed, "That was brutal!" Michiru gave him a look that said he hadn't seen anything yet. A few more cars lost fenders and front bumpers to the trees flanking the road, but then came a Volkswagen Golf that overcorrected and ended up rolling twice before coming to a stop on its roof. Joe hopped the guardrail and ran down to help. Kaelan, Nicholas, and Makoto followed, the four of them managing to flip the car over. The team was perfectly fine and their VW even started again. The men gave them a thumbs-up before speeding off to the finish line as if the crash hadn't happened.
Rei regarded Joe with admiration when he returned. "How can they just keep going after wrecking like that?"
"Old cars have a lot more structural integrity than new ones. Steel is better than aluminum in terms of rigidity," he explained. "With some reinforcements, you can roll and be okay as long as you didn't have too much momentum."
"Now I understand what Michiru was worried about," she muttered. Joe put an arm around her shoulders as reassurance. They were unlikely to witness any horrific accidents today, especially not with the professional heats beginning. The person in last place got to go first, doing three laps and contributing the best time toward his overall score. There were only a few female drivers, Haruka included, but many teams had female navigators. More people migrated to their viewpoint, team members on standby or fans who came from all over the Pacific: Malaysia, the Philippines, Japan, Russia, Canada, Mexico, and as far as Santiago, Chile, host of the final stage. Even though it was called the North Fire Rally, the southern hemisphere was properly included.
Via portable TVs they were able to see the action on the opposite side of the mountain, thus they witnessed the driver in fifth place leave the road as he whipped around the corner at the summit. There was a moment of collective stillness followed by exclamations as the car began sliding down the hillside. Luckily it didn't roll and the descent was halted by a stately tree about fifty feet down. "What a harrowing experience for driver Justin Rivera! He isn't used to this kind of terrain!" the commentator said. "It's going to be tricky getting the winch down there to pull him back up."
"They should use your rig," a man from Magadan commented.
"If I'd known about the rally beforehand, I would have signed up as a volunteer," Joe replied. Although she had no idea what they were discussing since it was in Russian, Rei listened to their conversation. It was such a useful skill, being a polyglot. Joe could have easily become a translator or perhaps even an ambassador, yet he had chosen to stay true to his roots.
As the contestants in fourth and third completed their laps, the crowd grew increasingly excited, breaking into a loud cheer when the video feed showed Haruka putting on her helmet and settling into the driver's seat. Her Evolution had a white and light blue color scheme and was peppered with sponsor stickers including a red triple diamond graphic to let the world know which manufacturer she represented. "What's that symbol on her helmet mean?" Nicholas inquired.
"It's the kanji for 'sky'," Mina answered. "Her family name, Tenou, means 'sky king'."
That sounded pretty auspicious to him. He wanted to ask what the other girls' names meant but everyone was focused on Haruka. She tore up the mountain, making it look easy as she effortlessly drifted each corner to maintain her speed. "How is she doing so good when so many others had issues?" Usagi wondered.
Michiru turned to reply. "Each driver gets a few practice runs. They usually go slow to look for problematic areas of the course such as hard turns, dips, and abrupt shoulders while the navigator makes notes and speed recommendations. The faster you go during practice, the faster you can go during the actual time attack."
A great cheer arose when Haruka splashed through the river and another greeted her on the straightaway as she entered fifth gear, the Evo sending up enough powdery snow to dust the spectators. "She did that lap in just over five minutes!" someone shouted, prompting a fresh round of applause.
Upon crossing the river a second time Haruka's lips curved into a confident smile. She was going to knock Team Subaru out of first place; there was no way they'd be able to match her times. She owned this course. "Let her fly," said her navigator, a man several years her senior. By the third lap Haruka was virtually on auto-pilot, handling her Evo with muscle memory. She traversed the river for the final time, devouring the long straightaway as she ascended through the gears. 130 kph… 137… She hit 145 when the unthinkable happened.
Most of the spectators were looking off to the right toward Haruka, but a glint from the tree line drew Usagi's attention. The Evo's rumble almost drowned out the loud snap that followed. She only heard it because the moonstone sent a brief surge of energy through her body, amplifying all her senses for just one second. Time seemed to slow down as she watched a crack spread across the trunk, then the tree began falling forward. It was going to land across the road right in Haruka's path and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
The huge evergreen came crashing down a mere fifty feet in front of the Evo. Haruka practically stood on the clutch and brake pedals, shifted into neutral, and wrenched the steering wheel hard to the left. Thick branches acted like a ramp that carried the car up and over the main bulk of the tree, limbs snapping as the Evo crashed through them with its impressive momentum. At some point the car began to invert, rolling in the air a couple times until landing on its tires, bouncing, skidding, and finally coming to a stop as smoke billowed from the hood and warped metal groaned.
Nobody moved. They were in shock of what they had just witnessed, a freak accident that must have claimed the lives of Tenou Haruka and her navigator Sasaki Katsuro. The wail of a siren drew near, prompting most of the spectators into action; they raced down to the car, finding Katsuro conscious. He tried getting the seat harness off Haruka while her team members tugged on the door. It was her side that hit the branches, shattering the windows in the process. The roof had collapsed around her helmet and a section of reinforcement tubing had broken at the weld and impaled her leg just above the knee.
Usagi and Kaelan stood like statues, taking no notice of the clamor surrounding them. Mina began sobbing, positive she'd just seen someone die. Rei managed to start breathing again and realized Haruka's indigo aura hadn't disappeared but was tinged with black and flickered weakly. The racer was deeply unconscious and in tremendous pain, but at least she was alive. Michiru couldn't bring herself to move, to neither climb over the guardrail for one last glimpse of Haruka nor turn away from the horrible scene altogether. She just held the barrier in a death grip, her visage as white as the snow beneath her feet.
"So basically the Divine Comedy is self-insert Bible fan fiction. Dante gets to hang out in Heaven with his favorite poet and ideal woman while all his flamers are trapped in Purgatory or Hell."
Ami sighed at Zach's analysis. "It's simply his thoughts on religion of the time."
Zach scoffed. "It's way less profound than that. Dante probably pissed off someone in the church and then wrote the Divine Comedy to tell everyone how awesome he is, 'cause even God forgives him in the end. He probably couldn't handle the critique."
"I suppose you could make a case for him lusting over Beatrice. She was a real person, you know." Zach nodded, making notes out of their discussion. "Perhaps he felt he would be condemned for his covetousness unless someone thought his soul was worth saving."
"See? Dante was totally trying to talk himself up. He just wrote all that allegorical crap to convince them how devoted he was with all his philosophizing."
"It's your paper so you can argue whatever you want. You just have to be able to support it." A pause. "Is 'philosophizing' even proper English?"
"Yes, it's the verb form." After saving his notes and closing the laptop, Zach spun in his chair to face Ami. "Now that the work is done, I think it's time for play." His suggestive eyebrow-waggle earned a laugh as they headed downstairs to the kitchen. Zach was taking it upon himself to make lunch.
"What are we having?" Ami asked. She claimed one of the bar stools and folded her hands politely.
"Muffulettas!" he exclaimed, pulling exotic-looking ingredients from the fridge. "These are a true New Orleans original invented by Italian immigrants. We have Genoa salami, capicola ham, mozzarella, olive salad, and herbed mayo on focaccia bread."
Ami had never heard of most of those things and was somewhat apprehensive about how the sandwich would taste. After setting it before her Zach smiled expectantly. 'It would be rude not to sample his culture,' she thought, taking a dainty bite. Her face lit up as the savory ingredients danced across her tongue, and Zach nodded in satisfaction before digging into his own meal.
After lunch, they went swimming at Ami's behest. "I think you and Mamoru are the only ones who really use this thing," Zach said while retracting the pool cover. "If you need to change afterward I suppose I can loan you something of mine again." Not that he minded Ami wearing his clothes.
She smiled. "That's okay, I came prepared this time."
Zach watched in fascination as she pulled off the baggy sweater to reveal her sylphlike body crisscrossed with white straps, and he held his breath while she stepped out of her jeans. "A-Ami…" he stuttered, "you're wearing a Herve Leger bandage monokini."
She glanced down at herself. "Oh, it's designer? I had no idea. Minako gave it to me last year when we were invited to a pool party. She said I couldn't wear my swim team suit."
'Thank god for Mina.' "You look like a model."
Ami waved off the compliment. "I do not, I'm too petite. Makoto is much better suited for modeling."
"I don't know about that." She directed a shy look over her shoulder before diving into the deep end.
Zach freed his bottom lip from his teeth while releasing a breath of pent-up desire. If he wanted to maintain the charade he had to act like he wasn't enticed by Ami, like he didn't want to get in the pool, pin her against the wall, and kiss her senseless. But it was so difficult not to go to her when she kept doing things he found endearing and attractive, especially since she was just being herself. Zach sighed and fetched his sketchbook, drawing more costume concepts for The Last Heart. He managed to stay focused on the paper until realizing his croquis had grown to resemble Ami; evidently, he'd been using her likeness since September. "Shiiit…" he groaned, "I'm hopeless."
"What's wrong?" Ami inquired. Zach popped up to find her resting on the edge of the pool. With her hair swept back, water droplets clinging to her skin, and eyes wide with curiosity, she resembled a mermaid.
"Ooh, don't move!" He snatched up his materials and began sketching before Ami even furrowed her brow. "Don't frown," he said, "give me that questioning look again, like you've never seen a human before. Study me. Philosophize."
She scoffed slightly. "Are you drawing me?" Zach only nodded so she sighed and rested her chin on her forearms, her head listing to one side. Several minutes went by before she spoke again. "Do I get to see my portrait?"
"No," he answered non-antagonistically, "this is reference material. This is the expression I want Amalthea to have when she becomes human, when she realizes she has hands instead of hooves."
"Anything for the show, I suppose." Ami only had to wait another few minutes for Zach to close his sketchbook triumphantly. He then stood, stretched, and put his hands on his hips as she pushed off the wall and drifted to the center of the pool. "Are you coming in?"
Oh god, now she was inviting him into the water with her. 'Stay strong, Zacharie!' "Mm, not today. My delicate skin doesn't like the new treatment Kaelan got." Ami quirked an amused eyebrow. "If you dry off we can watch this sixties revenge film I found called 'La Mariée Était en Noir'. I think you'll like it."
"You do have somewhat good taste." Ami practically saw his ego inflate. She got out, grabbed a towel, and made her way to the guest bathroom, Zach following with her dry clothes in hand. She turned on the shower and pawed through a basket of travel-sized soaps and conditioners, casting a glance at the boy who leaned in the doorway with an expression on his face that made her blush. Did he really think she had that much artistic merit? "A lady needs her privacy, Zacharie."
He blinked in surprise. "Oh, sorry." He started to leave, but stopped and turned back. "Should we watch the movie in the den or in my room?"
"Your bed is a little comfier than the couch," Ami answered.
Zach let slip a smirk at that. "I'm glad you think so."
Kaelan paused with his hand on the front door to look back at the procession of his ashen-faced friends. He could hardly blame them; having a front-row view of someone's life almost being snuffed out by a freak accident was justifiably traumatic. Usagi and Michiru had gone to the hospital to look after Haruka so it was just the six of them returning. He was flattered that the girls thought of his home as a safe haven and didn't object when they asked to spend the rest of the day there. "We're back!" he called out as they removed coats and boots, receiving no answer.
Joe, Nicholas, Rei, and Makoto went into the kitchen for tea while Kaelan and Mina headed upstairs. The former faltered at the landing, staring at the closed door to Zach's bedroom as Mina grabbed his arm. "Did I just hear what I think I heard?" she asked.
"If it was your best friend giggling in my depraved tenant's lair, then yes." Kaelan barged into the room upon receiving a nod from Mina.
They were lying beside one another on the bed, fully clothed. Zach shot a scowl over his shoulder. "Can I help you?"
"What are you getting up to in here?" Kaelan demanded.
He held out a hand toward his TV. "Watching a movie, obviously." Zach's hazel eyes darted to Mina as she folded her arms, then his irritated expression transformed into a lurid one. "Ami and I were very productive today. After we had lunch she got a little wet in the pool, then we moved things to the bedroom."
The innuendo went right over Ami's head. "We've been watching foreign films for the past few hours! Some of them were really good."
"Why didn't you watch them downstairs?" Mina asked in Japanese.
Ami shrugged. "I didn't really want to." Her head tilted owlishly. "Why do you sound so worried?"
"Um, hello!" Mina gestured, "You're alone with Zach in his room! Last time I checked, he was constantly trying to get in your pants!"
Ami laughed off her concern. "That was before I—" She stopped abruptly. "It's not like that anymore, Mina-chan."
Dumbfounded, the blonde spun around and strode down the hall to Kaelan's room. He unlocked the door and she flopped onto the duvet in a daze. "Was I just hallucinating the past three months? Have they always been that close and I didn't notice until now?"
"No, something has certainly changed between them," he replied while shedding layers of clothes.
"I have no idea what! Ami has never been touchy with anyone – I've never even seen her hug her own mother!" She threw an arm over her face and sighed in exasperation. "After everything that's happened today, this is almost too much. What if Zach, like, brainwashed her?" A few hangers clanked before footsteps came to a stop in front of her. Mina smiled as her socks were pulled off and her jeans unbuttoned.
"Zach is clever, I'll admit, but Ami is much too smart to fall for any tricks of his." Kaelan's lips alighted below her navel.
"Are you trying to distract me from everything?" Mina asked.
"Yeah. Is it working?" He kissed a little lower, just above her lacy blue panties.
"Mmm… not yet."
"Then I think you need to join me in the shower."
Mina didn't object. By now Kaelan knew exactly what it took to send her over the edge into ecstasy, and he did it so well she got there multiple times a night, but for some reason he was being very slow and gentle. He pushed her up against the tiled wall, letting hot water run down his back. She moaned his name in the tone that meant "take me now" but he still didn't give her anything more than soft kisses. When the heat began to fade he turned off the shower, leaving her aching with want while he dried and returned to the bedroom. 'Why is he being so weird?' Mina wondered. She toweled off and vaulted the bed just before he reached the closet, barring access. "You're not getting dressed any time soon, Kaelan Burke," she declared.
"And you're going to stop me?" he returned. As an answer Mina shoved him onto the bed, straddling him before he could move otherwise. She grabbed his hands and held them above his head, kissed him fiercely and felt him smirking at how badly she wanted him. If Kaelan was just trying to rile her up he had succeeded, but he wasn't getting away with it. Mina knew his weaknesses, what it took to make him moan her name in desperation. Despite the power he held, he gladly got on his knees for her.
At some point Kaelan turned the tables, ravaging Mina to the point of exhaustion. She fell asleep on his chest, breath cooling his sweat-drenched skin. He knew he should also try getting some sleep, especially after making senseless love with her for hours on end, but there was too much on his mind. It was mostly thoughts about her, about this, whatever it was. Zach called them fuck buddies but Kaelan didn't think it was that simple. He was starting to feel something for Mina other than desire, wanted more from her besides sex.
He didn't know where to go from here since they'd flown over all the proper steps to this point. He wished it were possible to go back in time and take things slowly, discover more about Mina besides her body. Having a conversation with her was surprisingly easy because she had opinions on everything, but he didn't know that much about her. She never talked about her family or what life was like in Japan while he prattled on about Kinsale all the time. He knew about her hobbies but not why she liked them, what she had real passion for. 'Why won't she get close to me?' Kaelan questioned. He'd tried to be intimate and affectionate in the shower, not seductive. If there was nothing besides sexual desire, no emotional investment in their relationship, then maybe it was time to swim away.
Mina stirred, groaning while peeling her face off Kaelan's chest. He was sitting up, supported by two pillows as he lay with his fingers laced behind his head, and he wore a blank expression. "What's wrong?" she inquired, running a finger from the hollow of his throat down his abdomen. His muscles twitched beneath her feather-light touch.
"Mina…" he said, and the flat tone of his voice instantly alerted her to what was coming. "I don't think we should do this anymore."
"Do what?"
Kaelan waved a hand around. "This… thing we have. It's not enough."
She frowned. "It was enough for you earlier."
"Well, I thought about it…" Mina didn't wait for him to finish speaking. She could tell by his body language that their time together was over, and she wasn't going to wait around to be on the receiving end of empty excuses or condescending remarks. She turned over, taking the blanket with her as she began hunting down her clothes. "Ack, Mina…" Kaelan covered himself with a pillow. "Hold on, you don't have to go. Just hear me out."
"I know what you're going to say," she tersely replied. "It's been fun but you're bored now, or you met someone you actually care about, or I'm just not the right girl, or you need to figure yourself out. I've heard it all a dozen times."
"I wasn't going to say any of those things!" Kaelan floundered for a grasp on the situation but could clearly see Mina slipping further and further away. "I just meant that I want to take a break from the sex and get to know you, the real you!"
She gave him a withering look. "What would be the point of that, Kaelan? The only reason men pretend to be interested on a 'deep' level is so they have a better chance at getting laid, but you already got that from me. I'm not stupid or desperate. I know when I'm no longer wanted." The frigidity in her gaze made him shudder. "For the record, you didn't mean anything to me, either."
"Mina, wait!" Kaelan reached the door just as it closed in his face, leaving him in profound silence. A tiny voice screamed at him to chase after her. His words had triggered assumptions in Mina he had no idea she possessed and that alone meant pursuit would be futile. He touched his forehead to the door. It felt like cold stone instead of warm mahogany.
Kaelan didn't want to let Mina go. Since the wrong words had broken their relationship, perhaps the correct ones could mend it. He just needed to learn how to say them in the right order.