Hello dear readers,

Here is the continuation of this story, I hope you will enjoy it.

I would like to thank Pixie for all the help she has given me.

I thank you, dear readers, for all your encouragement and your reviews which brighten my days.

Worrying you

Charles was in the middle of work, it had been a long time since he had seen Elsie and he was beginning to think that this was not quite normal. Usually she managed to find him, even during their working hours, if only to brush against each other's fingertips, to give each other looks full of naughty promises. But she hadn't come to him.

"Mr. Carson, a young boy for you in the servants' hall, he says it's urgent." A young maid had arrived in the drawing room as he was preparing the table for tea.

"Who is this young man? I'm not expecting anything..."

"He's come here from Reverend Travis, Mr. Carson. He's been running all along."

"Well... I'm coming, give him something to eat and drink while I wait." The young woman went downstairs to do as Carson had ordered, while Charles huffed at having been interrupted. But he couldn't refuse a message from the reverend all the same.

"Daniel? You will serve tea." He said to the young footman before walking out.

"Well young man, what is the message?"

"Mr. Carson, Reverend Travis gave me this paper for you. You must read it or face divine and deadly punishment he said. Can I go now?"

"Go before I ask Mrs. Patmore to cook you for our stew tonight." He replied to the boy, throwing him another biscuit.

With the young child gone, Carson went to his pantry to read the reverend's urgent note.

Mr. Carson, Elsie sent me to give you this very unfortunate errand, so meet me behind the church as soon as you can. Don't wait, she needs you.

Samuel Perkins

Elsie? He stormed out of his pantry to check the housekeeper's parlour. It was obviously empty and unusually untidy. Her hat was still hanging on its hook, she never went out without it.

He went into the kitchen, he had to find her.

"Ah, Mr Carson. I must warn you that Mrs. Hughes is in hospital, she's due to be discharged tomorrow."

"What? She's ill? But... when... how..." How could he not have noticed that Elsie was so ill that she had to be hospitalised?

"Nothing untoward, don't worry. A minor infection, I found her half unconscious in her office, so I had to drag her to the doctor and in his wisdom he preferred to keep her overnight for observation to make sure she was resting and I approve. If she'd stayed here she'd have gone to great lengths to prove that she's all right and they'd have found her corpse dead from exhaustion. "

Charles had no desire to think about Elsie's corpse. He wanted to go and see her, to hold her hand, to make her laugh and help her pass the time. But it would be unseemly to go for no reason.

Perkins! Damn it, this guy must have had a message for him from Elsie.

"Well... I'm going to tell the family that Mrs. Hughes is away for the next couple of days and uh... then I have to go to the post office and send an urgent telegram."

He almost ran back to the church where Samuel was waiting for him, his eyes dark.

"What took you so long? I was afraid the kid had played a bad joke on me. You cost me two shillings."

"Mr. Perkins, in case you don't know, some people are not idle. I got here as fast as I could. Well now tell me what you have to tell me about Elsie."

"You're a pig!"

Charles remained silent, was this the message Elsie had sent him?

Watching the butler's train of thought Samuel added:

"A stupid pig! You don't deserve her."

"Mr. Perkins, I can see that you don't like me very much and I assure you the feeling is mutual. But you asked me here to talk to me about Elsie, so go ahead. I know she's in hospital."

"She had a miscarriage."

Charles' heart stopped beating for a brief moment, he closed his eyes for a second hoping to erase the sentence dropped by this unfortunate Perkins.

Samuel looked at Charles again. He had to admit that he had a certain charisma and charm. And from the pain he was showing in reaction to Elsie's problem, his feelings for her must be genuine.

"How could you be so reckless? She's risking her job, her reputation... You couldn't have cared less, you stupid man!"

"I don't... Oh my God! Is she alone? She... How is she? I have to go and see her."

"Why do you have to agree with me? Stop being so bloody stupid! You can't go there without raising suspicion. Officially she's in hospital with a minor infection and will return to work tomorrow. Why do you think she wrote to me and not to you? She's protecting herself and you, so don't spoil it, you fool! "

"There's no harm in my going to see her on behalf of the house and on behalf of our years of service together. I must go to her." And he walked briskly past Samuel towards the hospital.

"I asked her to marry me. "

Charles stopped dead in his tracks and walked back to Samuel with a threatening look on his face.

"You're a rat, Mr. Perkins. Stay away from Elsie, if you touch her I'll kill you! "

"And you're still an idiot!"

Charles shook his head and pretended to turn back before administering a good punch to Samuel's nose, who slumped to the floor with a bloody nose.

Punching the bloody man had done him good, his hand hurt and one of his fingers was probably sprained but it was worth it.

He finally got away from Samuel for good and went to see Elsie.

Once there, he felt like a fool. He didn't know what he should say to the nurse who had led him in. He felt like an idiot and he felt angry with himself for agreeing with Samuel.

"Mr. Carson?"

"Good morning Mrs. Hughes. Mrs. Patmore told me you were here and... er... after I broke the news to the family, I was appointed to come and give you my best wishes for your recovery and to tell you that they are all delighted to know that tomorrow you are coming back."

The nurse left them alone at last.

Charles grabbed a chair from a corner and pulled it up to the bed where Elsie was lying. He wanted to hold her hand, but he knew he couldn't.

"I know." He merely whispered to her. "I know, and I'm so, so sorry my love." He quickly wiped away the tears that were gathering at the corners of his eyes.

"I'm glad Samuel was able to deliver the message. "

They looked at each other for a moment without speaking.

"You mustn't stay too long, Mr. Carson."

"You are right. I wish I could stay all night and hold your hand. Are you in pain?"

Elsie shook her head.

"Hardly any, no. The pain subsided very quickly after... um... I'm fine. Really."

"I'll pick you up tomorrow, take you home."

"No. I guess the family will send the driver. I'll be fine on my own."

"But... can we talk when you get back? Please."

"Yes, we will. I promise. Now go home before people start asking too many questions."

"I..." He lowered his head, unable to continue. What did he want to tell her? That he loved her? Right there in front of everyone? That he was in pain along with her? No, he could never feel what she felt, even if...

"I know, Charlie. I do too... so much." What did she want to tell him? That she loved him? Yes, certainly, but he already knew that. That she was sorry? But sorry for what?

Charles stood up and nodded regally to the housekeeper before leaving the hospital.

He walked for a few minutes before stopping to wander into the woods, leaning against a tree and emptying the contents of his stomach.

He was sick. Sick with the thought of Elsie being alone. Sick that she had gone through this and that he had not been there for her. Sick from seeing her lying pale and not being able to kiss her.

He took out his handkerchief, wiped the sweat from his forehead and then his mouth before setting off for the Abbey.

Once Charles had left, Elsie took a deep breath. She'd told him she was fine, but she wasn't. The hormones were taking their toll and she felt terribly depressed, lonely and empty, completely empty. She often cried for no apparent reason and Nurse Davies had explained to her that this was normal, that it would pass in a few days. But boy, was it hard.

At least now Charles knew, and in his own way, he too was carrying some of her burden.

But how could this happen? She had been careful, had always taken precautions.

She didn't know if she would be able to become intimate with Charles again. She was so afraid it would happen again. Fear of pain, fear of grief, fear of her own shame. Living in sin was enough to send her to hell, but this...

Elsie was questioning everything. When she got home she and Charles would have to have a serious talk.

And she would go to church to pray and ask forgiveness.

She was interrupted in her thoughts by the arrival of Samuel, greeting her with one hand and holding a handkerchief to his nose with the other.

He bent down to be close to her and whispered:

"I've met your man, you could say he's a bloody one."

"Did he do this to you? But why?"

"Maybe I provoked him a little..."

"Samuel?"

" ... "

"Oh, don't give me that look! What did you tell him?"

"That I wanted to marry you."

"What? Why did you say that?"

"Because I was angry with him. Because I wanted him to pay, to suffer a little for putting you in this state. And because he hates what I am."

"Oh Samuel... He doesn't know what you are, as you say. And I think he's suffering too. And in case you don't know, I'm just as responsible for my situation as he is. You shouldn't have. Is your nose broken?"

"No, just a bit banged up. The man may be physically imposing, but he has no strength in his fist, thank God. "

He removed the handkerchief to see that the blood had stopped flowing.

"You see, there's nothing left. You know I'd protect you Elsie? I could take care of you and your sister if things ever go wrong. "

"I know Samuel and I thank you for that. But, I'll be fine I guess."

He nodded unconvinced before adding with a laugh:

"So what time do they let you out tomorrow? I can't wait to see the butler's face when he sees you in my car. "

Elsie rolled her eyes, but nodded at Samuel's suggestion. It would always be nicer to go on the road with her friend, and if Charles was jealous, she could handle that.

oOo

"Well, it looks like your Charles didn't come to wait for you."

"Idiot, it's time for the gong. Now help me down and let's go home."

Elsie was eagerly awaited by the staff. She was a stern but fair housekeeper and was much appreciated by all.

"Go on, get back to work now. I'm glad I'm here too, rather than in a hospital bed going round and round, but that's no reason to be complacent."

The servants went back to work while Elsie dropped into the chair nearest her. She was still tired, still losing blood and the doctor had prescribed treatment for anaemia.

Mrs. Patmore herself was serving tea and some biscuits to the housekeeper and Mr. Perkins when Charles came rushing in.

He had not been there when she had the miscarriage, he had not been able to hold her hand in hospital and he had been unable to welcome her back. He was consumed with guilt and wanted to make up for it.

He walked briskly into the servants' hall and stopped short when he saw Samuel sitting very close to Elsie.

He cleared his throat, put on his most solemn tone and said:

"Ah Mr. Perkins, you've brought Mrs. Hughes back, that's very good. The work on the farm must not be wearing you out much. "

Elsie rolled her eyes as Samuel clenched his fists, he wasn't at home, he couldn't answer without risking betraying his best friend.

"Mrs. Hughes, when you have settled in here again, I will be grateful if you will come to my pantry. We have some things to discuss about your recovery. Good day, Mr Perkins."

And he went off to lock himself in his pantry wishing he could hit that Samuel again. His fingers had ended up with nothing that an ice pack couldn't cure, he could do it again ad vitam aeternam.

He sat down heavily in the chair of his office and tried to concentrate on the wine register, in vain.

Elsie knocked discreetly before pushing the door open and closing it behind her.

When he saw her, Charles jumped up from his chair, and once the door was closed, he went straight to her and took her in his arms.

Elsie realised how much she needed this embrace, how much she had missed Charles during this ordeal. She let herself be rocked for a moment as she listened to his beautiful voice whispering to her how much he loved her, how sorry he was that he couldn't be there for her but that he was here with her now. And Charles let her cry into his jacket.

When Elsie calmed down, Charles guided her to a chair by the wood stove and sat down beside her to take her hand.

She was very pale and looked exhausted.

"Elsie, Her Ladyship will not let you resume your duties until after tomorrow, on the doctor's advice. So please rest and let me take care of you."

"Does she know?" She asked, frightened.

"No, don't worry, she's just concerned about the welfare of her employees. Now, can we talk?"

"Oh, Charles, I'm so tired. Can it wait until tomorrow?"

He nodded.

"Of course my love, tomorrow."

"Thank you... I think I'll go upstairs and lie down for a while."

"Do you need any help?"

"No, I think I can still climb stairs."

"Can I come and join you tonight? I'm not asking for anything special, just to be with you, please?"

Elsie thought, it was very risky for him to come to the women's ward. If the family needed him in the night... But she needed him so, for the first time in her life, she would be selfish.

"No, I'll come and join you. It will be less risky."

"Fine. I love you, Elsie, so much, you know that, don't you?"

"Yes, I think I know that. And I love you just as much, if not more." she began to cry again.

"Oh, Elsie, my dearest Elsie… God, I'm so sorry. "

"Excuse me, I really need to lie down. "

She got up as fast as her condition would allow and headed for the door and just as she was about to reach the handle, Charles said to her:

"Marry me."

She turned to him, her eyes wide with astonishment, tears still running down her cheeks, one hand covering her mouth. She stood still for a few seconds, staring at Charles, before saying:

"I'm sorry." And she got out of the pantry as quickly as she could.

TBC…