He slid down the ladder, pausing at the console. There in the reactor room, was his best friend. Dead...or alive?
He can only mouth the name. He can't seem to speak; instead he rushes over to get within arm's reach. He only has one thought going through his mind; he must get to Spock.
"No! You'll flood the whole compartment!"
What does it matter? He'd flood the whole god damn ship if he had too. He had to get to Spock.
"He'll die!" He struggles against restraint. Fighting against the arms that kept him from Spock.
"Sir, he's dead already!"
His heart fell. It fell so hard. And the sparkle, that spark of life, in his eyes seemed to melt away and they just seemed so blank and empty.
"It's too late, Jim."
His muscles eased. He no longer fought them. The arms around him fell back, knowing that he needed to be alone. He fell against the glass.
He couldn't accept the fact that Spock was dead. He refused to accept that. He was James T. Kirk; he didn't like to lose. No. He refused to lose, not here; now, he would not lose Spock! He couldn't lose Spock…because if he did…he'd lose a large part of himself. He pressed the intercom, his voice, echoing his pain.
"Spock!"
And Spock moved. Trying to regain his dignity, or some of it, he tugged down his uniform shirt.
It hurt him so much, to see Spock like this, weak and stumbling.
"…The ship? Out of danger?"
He searched Spock's eyes for a minute. Looking for an answer…an answer to-Why? Why did you do this? But there were no answers in those eyes. Only pain. And it stung him inside to see this pain flickering in those chestnut eyes. He finally found his voice and answered.
"Yes"
Spock nodded. He knew the ship would be safe.
Spock shook his head. "Don't grieve…Admiral…It is logical." Spock closed his eyes fighting the pain. He took a breath and started again. "The needs of the many…outweigh…" Spock struggled to continue, taking small breaths.
"The needs of the few." He said continuing for his friend.
Spock nodded opening his eyes. "Or the one." Spock's knees gave way and he struggled to stand.
He wished he could be there, on the other side of the glass, with Spock. He crouched to be at eye level with Spock. But, Spock raised a hand. He didn't want pity of any kind.
"I never took the Kobayashi Maru test…until now. What do you think…of my solution?" Spock looked into his eyes.
But he could not face him. He turned his head. Struggling with all the emotions running through him. That helpless feeling was the most over powering of all.
"Spock." He choked on his words.
Spock shook his head. His legs giving out completely.
He knelt next to him. Begging that this was not the end.
"I have been…and always shall be…your friend." Spock put his hand to the glass, parting his fingers in the Vulcan salute.
"Live long…and prosper."
He put his hand over Spock's. Forgetting he couldn't touch him.
Spock turned and then sagged against the glass after a moment.
"No." He gasped. Spock. He mouthed the name. He could no longer speak. And that's when the world stopped spinning. The solider stopped fighting, his sword crashing to the ground and he, following it. He, too, sagged against the glass.
He couldn't talk. Or move. And all he could think about was that he had just lost his best friend. His best friend was lying dead on the other side of that glass. And he knew that his life would never be the same.