Even Angels Fall
ME Set 3 months, 1 week before S1 'Pilot'. What happened to make two partners go from co-workers to being something more?
Disclaimer: My Muse, my imagination and my dreams are all mine (but can be rented for a high fee). I'm sure if I owned the cast and characters we would have an enormous amount of fun (but I don't. I'm just borrowing them).
A/N:- I kind of got bowled over by this pilot and this show. I love it!
'Even Angels Fall' – Jessica Riddle
Emily slammed her locker shut and then let her head roll forward and her forehead bang into the door with a thud which didn't hurt as much as she had hoped. She took some deep breaths, trying to regain control but it was no good fighting it. Feeling the cold metal against her head, she screwed her eyes up tight and felt the tears start to fall.
Matt grabbed his jacket and headed towards the locker room. It had been a long day and the severe lack of a happy ending hadn't exactly helped. Right now he could really do with a hot shower and a night in front of ESPN with a couple of beers. He threw the door open and at first thought that it was empty until he spotted his partner, her head fused with the locker door. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, dropping his jacket on the bench and walking across to her.
"What's wrong?" Emily said in disbelief, spinning to face him. "What's wrong? You're asking me what's wrong!"
Matt noticed with alarm that she had been crying and even now as she faced him angrily he noticed that she was shaking although he couldn't tell if it was from anger, tiredness or sadness. "I'm sorry." He said, raising his palms in surrender and taking a step back.
"What's wrong!" Emily repeated, louder now. How could he be so carefree? How could he just forget about it all just like that? How dare he! "I don't know. HOW ABOUT THE FACT WE JUST SAW THIRTY KIDS SLAUGHTERED RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!" She thundered.
Matt felt out of his depth. He had never been good with women and seeing Emily lose it like this really threw him. He had never seen her cry before and it scared him because she was usually so calm and in control. "You know how it is with this job: we can't save them all Emily." He said calmly.
"They were just children Matt, innocent children and we didn't do anything to save them." She said, regret and sadness laced in her voice as she paced the length of the room.
"We did everything we could, everyone did everything they could, we had no idea he was going to set the explosives off so quickly."
"There was something we could have done." Emily shot, stopping her pacing for a minute. "Cheryl could have let me go in there and change places with those children."
"If Cheryl had let you do that then YOU would have been dead!" Matt said forcefully, taking a step forward, a wave of anger shooting through him as she even dared to think of sacrificing herself like that.
"But thirty children would be alive."
"We're hostage negotiators not superheroes Em." Matt said in a calmer voice, moving closer. "If we went in there putting ourselves in danger in every hostage situation then there wouldn't be any hostage negotiators left in the FBI to save people!" he exclaimed.
Emily looked at him, her eyes wide. "Don't you think it was worth my life to have those thirty children grow up and be happy with their parents and families! God Matt, we're not just talking about a couple of small time thieves taken hostage by a drug baron. They were INNOCENT."
Matt looked at her and swallowed hard. She was actually serious, she was actually willing to do this to save those children and now she was glaring at him as if it was his fault she couldn't be lying in a body bag right now.
She couldn't look at him anymore. He was staring at her as if she was mad and she felt so frustrated that the one person she was meant to rely on to understand her couldn't even agree that he could see where she was coming from. She faced the row of lockers behind her and slammed the open one shuts before kicking one repeatedly until a small dent started to appear and her foot inside her boot started to throb. Still he didn't dare say anything and she wanted to tell him to leave her alone but she didn't have the energy. Instead she turned round, her back leaning heavily on the lockers and she let herself break down.
He saw her walls start to crumble and her anger start to fade into guilt and regret. He wanted to tell her what he really thought of her, what he really felt, but he didn't want her thinking that he was just saying things to make her feel better. He wanted her to know the truth and how she was the one person he really, truly admired.
Matt walked up to her determinedly, not caring if she was going to spring to life and start screaming at him again but she seemed drained of anger anyway. "Shhh." He said gently, drawing her into his arms.
She clung to him, unable to stop the tears, even unable to feel embarrassed at revealing herself to be so weak in front of the one person who would usually have mercilessly teased her and thrown it back in her face. God it felt so good being held again. She couldn't remember the last time she had had the luxury of feeling safe in a guy's arms but it had certainly been a long long time ago and it never occurred to her that it ought to feel odd because this was the closest she had ever been to Matt.
He held her, secretly smelling her hair, his hands placed firmly on her back but with his fingers gently playing with the tips of her hair. It felt strangely right.
When she couldn't cry anymore and the images of the children had faded, she drew back and rested the back of her head against the lockers, regaining her composure. Matt released his grip on her but he didn't step back.
"Oh God I'm sorry." She said reaching forward and touching the wet patch on his shirt.
"Don't worry about it." Matt said quietly, not even taking his eyes off her to examine it.
She became intensely aware of their closeness and the fact that she could feel his heart beating beneath her hand. She dropped her hand quickly and averted her eyes, looking out to the side.
"Emily, you're an amazing person." Matt stated softly. That caught her attention and she brought her gaze back to him, looking at him questioning. "You're intelligent, smart, and one of the best Agents the FBI has." Emily opened her mouth to say something but he stopped her. "You're passionate and I love the energy and determination you put into every case. You're the best negotiator I have worked with and hundreds of lives have been saved because of you. I love how you can look beyond the obvious and you're willing to give everyone a chance even if the rest of us doesn't think he's worth it. I love how you challenge me both on and off the job and keep me in check and how you always calm me down when I fly off the handle and try to make me see the good in every situation. So now it's my turn and I'm trying to make you see the good in this situation. The outcome was horrible and not what we wanted but you're still here, safe. You're here with me right now, listening to me trip over my words and say these things you never expected to hear me say and you'll remember this tomorrow and laugh but I really mean it when I say you are what makes me get up in the morning."
Emily stared at him, half in shock and half in wonderment. He was nervous and earnest but adorable. She had never seen him like this before – he had always been Matt the guy she worked with, Matt the guy who liked to get on her nerves, just Matt. But now he was Matt this amazing guy who had just said all of the right things and made her feel on top of the world.
She leant forward and gently brushed her lips against his in a chaste kiss, testing the waters and there was only a moment's hesitation before he responded, pinning her against the lockers, his mouth pressed against hers.
Emily wasn't sure how long they stood there kissing, exploring this new change in their relationship, but she was dimly aware of some noise coming from the corridor outside when he finally moved away.
He stood there, searching her face for a minute, giving her an opportunity to apologise and brush him away but she didn't. She just looked back at him, a small smile on her face, waiting for him to make the next move.
"There's a hotel across the road …." He started unsurely.
She grabbed his hand and dragged him over to where their stuff was. "Let's go."
A/N:- All thoughts and comments are appreciated.