Chapter 16

Spy vs Spy, Mei Oh My

Naruto was always used to being stared at in the village. It was a common enough occurrence, receiving glares from the random citizens as he passes by, laced with a blind hatred that's plagued him his whole life.

So it didn't take him long at all to realize that this time, everyone was focused on the missing nin that he was accompanying to the Hokage's tower upon returning home. The appearance of an infamous criminal with an obviously slashed headband draws the majority of people's attentions the moment they notice the towering assassin and his man-sized sword.

Now knowing what Naruto is, and just how much the village has come to hate him, his teammates were a bit defensive at first when coming home, but seeing as they escort was drawing everyone's ire instead, they eventually calmed down. Kakashi couldn't help but be proud of them for caring so much for Naruto in light of his jinchuuriki status.

But of course, there was one big obstacle on the way that wasn't so much big as it was glaring and pissing Zabuza off by its mere conception. He stands in the middle of the road with his left eye twitching. "Why. The fuck. Are these little shits following us. In a box painted as a rock?"

Naruto snorts. "I dunno if they're following you or me. Could be either one." He pulls on a string hidden in the bottom of his left pocket, and a small paper ball drops out of his pants leg as he walks. Moments later, as the box passes over it, it goes off as a flashbang and scares the Kono Trio clean out of their mobile hideout.

Konohamaru coughs spastically at the smoke pouring from his overturned box. "Ugh, damnit boss! How'd you know we were there?!"

Udon mumbles through the part of his shirt he's held to his face to block out the smoke. "I told you it was too obvious for him."

Moegi whines and drops to her knees. "I spent two hours painting the rock texture on that box!"

"Hey!" Kono kneels down to get in Moegi's face. "If two hours left us that obvious, then you've gotta put ten into it next time!" The entire time he's yelling at her, she's looking past him and growing visibly scared.

When Kono finally notices this, he slowly turns his head and finds Zabuza has now knelt down and started staring the boy down with just a tiny smidge of killing intent. "So you think you're sneaky, huh?"

Konohamaru Backs away slightly, but in his naiveté and overconfidence, pushes forward and stares Zabuza down directly. "What's a bandaged bastard like you know about stealth?! I bet you can't hide from a toddler with a sword that big!"

Sakura's jaw drops at the display, as do Kono's teammates', but Zabuza on the other hand laughs as he uprights himself. "You've got guts, kid. Good." He turns to walk off towards the tower again, but pauses halfway. "If you really wanna learn to be sneaky, try asking an anbu, and try to get the jump on me. Hell, the orange runt here has a good chance of catching up to me, wardrobe notwithstanding."

"Oi!"

He snorts in laughter. "Keep working on it, maybe one of you three will get it one day." His eyes fall on Udon. "You there, snot-nose. You seem quiet enough. I suggest you try speaking up more to knock some sense into these two and put those brains to use figuring out what your leader's got wrong."

Udon can only manage to stare at Zabuza's back as he walks away, while Konohamaru yells various obscenities at him and Moegi struggles to calm the young Sarutobi down.

Kakashi side-eyes Zabuza as they move. "You know I had to signal for several anbu to stand down when you got that close to the Hokage's grandson, right?"

"That runt was the old monkey's grandkid?" He huffs. "Should learn to act like it and take his career path seriously."

Naruto shakes his head. "I hope he doesn't take it seriously too soon. I always have because I've been on rock bottom all my life. He's been given everything, and hates it, but he doesn't know how else to act. It'll take a huge loss for make him take it seriously, and I don't wanna see him go through that too soon."

"Hmm…" Haku smiles gently and nods in agreement, slowly raising her hand and producing a rose of ice. "Makes me wonder what would have happened to me if I'd been raised in peace instead of losing my parents at such a young age." She pinches the stem, and it scatters into snow. "Innocence is so fragile. A single moment can shatter it, and then, the world is never the same."

Sakura wraps her arms around herself. "I.. I guess I'm the only one of us who hasn't lost something like that, but… my dad fought against the Kyuubi, and it cost him a lot. I've always watched him having trouble getting around, dealing with constant pain in his left leg. It's crippling, and really helped me to realize just how much a shinobi needs to be willing to sacrifice, and how much they should expect to face." Her eyes narrow. "I guess I just… always had a good example in my life, even if I didn't listen to half of what he said for so long."

"Meh." Kakashi shrugs. "I did much of the same. Don't beat yourself up for being a kid, even now. Everyone has their learning curves, you three just happen to be ahead of the general curve, and by a wide margin might I add." He sets his book away as they reach the base of the Hokage's tower, just in time to see Team 8 emerging with a mission scroll in hand. Kiba and Akamaru are immediately besieged by Yoko leaping up and draping herself over his shoulders to sniff at Akamaru's head sticking out from under Kiba's hood. Hinata comes stumbling to a stop at the sight of Naruto and almost trying to hide behind her sensei, whom goes slack-jawed at the sight of Zabuza. Shino of course has no reaction at all.

Kurenai stammers aimlessly for a few moments. "Z.. Z-Zabuza? What the hell are you doing in Konoha?"

Naruto chuckles earnestly. "Oh my god, this is better than I thought. Yes, you have me to thank!" Naruto steps up with open arms. "Your future Hokage has managed to turn a nukenin and his student into aspiring Konoha shinobi!" He takes a sweeping bow, but Yoko jumps off Kiba's shoulder, onto the back of Naruto's head, and forces him to faceplant. Kiba breaks into laughter, and Haku manages to giggle a bit. Naruto grumbles into the dirt. "lousy fuckin…" He uprights himself and wipes the dirt off as Zabuza step up.

"Yuuhi Kurenai, right? I think we last met about… oh, was it two years ago at a bar in Ochakuni when you were drugging and grilling that sop in the corner for the whereabouts of a drug ring?"

She huffs. "Yes, I believe so. I was just glad to be seeing you during an irrelevant mission, yet here you are, led straight into the heart of our village." She looks to Kakashi. "Did you all seriously convert him?"

"Oh, we might have." He gives her his patented eye-smile and waves it off. "Not too difficult, his boss when we found him was literally the worst kind of human imaginable, so convincing anyone to turn against him was as easy as could be."

"I had to infiltrate their ship three nights in a row and map out the whole thing for dad."

"I had to use Naruto's map to save an entire cargo hold of human trafficking victims."

Kurenai turns to Iruka in shock. "You did what?"

Iruka crosses his arms behind his head and turns away sheepishly. "I might have understated the training I've been putting in lately. I just wanted to keep up with my son!"

Kiba snorts. "How hard can that be?"

"I dunno, keeping up with the future Hokage would be pretty tough, don't ya think?" He smirks down to Naruto, who just beams up at his dad with an ear-to-ear grin. Hinata can't help but smile at that family bond Naruto's finally managed to find.

Kurenai sighs in frustration with Iruka's recklessness, but she can't help but smile at his determination and dedication to his son. "I suppose. But back on topic…" She returns her gaze to Zabuza. "Really looking to join us, with your bloody history?"

He grumbles and shoves his hands deep in his pockets. "There's a lot the public doesn't know, and a lot that I'm not at liberty to say. What I will tell you is a lot more of it than you think was justified by better reasons than being my job." He starts pushing his way past to get inside. "That said, I am still a bloody beast, so you'd best watch who you're insulting."

Kiba gives Zabuza's back a fanged grin. "I like his style. His sword smells like an insane amount of blood, though."

Naruto shrugs. "You get used to it when ya hang around him enough." He leans sideways to peek past Kiba and around Kurenai to Hinata. "Hey, Hinata! How's the wind training coming?"

She squeaks and backs away a bit, but slowly peeks out form her hiding place. "U-Um… I suppose it's going well." She averts her eyes. "I-I'm very limited on jutsu though, since I still don't have much chakra, b-but I'm working on it."

Naruto gives her an eager thumbs-up as he passes. "You got this! We'll have to compare jutsu later, once I've got some time off. I think I'll have a week after this mission's turned in, if you're ever free!" Rather than waiting for a reply, knowing he has to catch up to the nukenin he's escorting, he gives Shino a quick fist-bump and a small scroll before running ahead to rejoin Zabuza and Kakashi.

Sakura steps past with a shrug, whispering to her fellow kunoichi. "He'll get it one day, he's just slow when it comes to this stuff."

Sasuke snorts. "And you aren't? You hounded me for years."

"It was a phase, Ok?!"

Once they pass out of earshot, Hinata turns to Shino. "U-Um... what was that s-scroll about?"

Shino slowly opens it and stares at the contents for a few moments. "… Apparently, he's provided me with a few natural toxins to have my bugs find cures for to strengthen my immunities, and prepaid for another parasite check for Yoko."

Inside, Naruto manages to get ahead of Kakashi again in time to reach the office door first. He almost barges in, but having developed a bit more tact since meeting Jiraiya, he actually knocks for once… although he makes a long, rhythmic, obnoxious sequence of knocks until he hears an exasperated groan. "Come in, Naruto."

He swings the door open with his trademark ear-to-ear grin and waves everyone else through. "Team Seven, reporting back with Momochi Zabuza, his adoptive daughter Haku, and the best damn teacher in the elemental nations!"

Iruka stumbles a bit at that comment. "W- What did I do to deserve that much praise?"

"Being enough of a badass to pull off that rescue mission and take out half the thugs on the ship alone."

"Don't knock the compliment." Zabuza shrugs. "That was easily upper Chuunin work, far better than academy teacher level, possibly lower Tokubetsu rank."

Sarutobi can't help but smirk at the assassin's praise of his shinobi. "Coming from such an accomplished and seasoned assassin as yourself, I'd have to be the most arrogant Kage of all to not take that evaluation seriously." He writes down a few notes. "Iruka, you may be looking at a promotion. I'll keep you on the school's staff as well if you'd like, but you'll be training new hires there to ensure they're up to snuff. Rather than just being on the staff, you may end up heading the whole school by the end of this month."

Iruka gulps nervously. "Y… Y-Yes sir. I hope I can perform to your expectations!"

Haku leans in towards Naruto. "I thought Iruka was only this nervous with Tsunami because he was poor with women. Is he really this anxious all the time?"

"He's not used to praise."

Sakura elbows him. "Neither are you, ya fragile blond windbag. One genuine compliment, and all that bravado deflates like popping a balloon." Naruto slumps, but does not reply.

"Alright, alright." Hiruzen waves for them to settle down. "Enough pleasantries. As good as it is to see you all home safe, even our two guests, we have a debriefing to get through. So..." He fills his pipe and lights it with fire chakra on his thumb. "How exactly did you so drastically change the state of affairs for an entire nation?"

.

.

Hiruzen rubs his temples, slightly hunched over his desk. "Dear god, I can't leave you alone for two minutes without either some experiment exploding, someone being pranked half to death, or now apparently an international incident." He leans back in his chair and stares at the ceiling. "Children, you are dismissed. You all have a week off before I'll be assigning your next mission."

"Ah…" Sasuke reaches into his pockets. "Before we go, I've got two things you might want." He pulls out a scroll first. "This contains the head of that traitorous bastard Aoi." He tosses the scroll over the desk, and Hiruzen effortlessly catches it. "And I retrieved this from him." He pulls the Raijin no Ken from his right pocket, channeling just a bit of chakra and sparking the blade to life.

Hiruzen slowly rises from his seat and steps around his desk to approach Sasuke, a smile overtaking his wrinkled face as he accepts the sword from Sasuke with the gentle care of a father holding their child. "My sensei's weapon. Such a wonderful masterwork of sealing and craftsmanship." He sighs and traces his old fingers across the seals carved into its outer casing. "I never should have let this fall into Aoi's hands… but it's finally come home." He pauses, slowly lowering his gaze back to Sasuke… and handing him the blade. "But I believe it's found a new home now."

Sasuke's sharingan activated purely out of shock, giving Hiruzen a bit of a start as well, seeing those eyes after so long. Already balanced with two tomoe each. This sextuple threat of pupils bares down on the legendary weapon in his hand as he judges whether he truly deserves it. "Hokage-sama… I really don't think you should give this to me. It belongs with someone far greater. Shouldn't Kakashi have this?"

He shakes his head and slowly returns to his seat. "Kakashi was never any good with swords, even his anbu tanto, and he already has Raikiri. No, this sword is best off with a young man whom I feel embodies much of the spirit of my sensei, in skill, practicality, temperament, and most importantly…" He takes his seat and grins. "My sensei was a great man, but he was very biased against your clan, and I can't help but smile at the thought of him rolling in his grave at an Uchiha receiving his blade and proving him wrong."

Sasuke can't help but snort and smirk at that thought, shutting the blade off and pocketing it, then bowing. "Thank you, Hokage-sama. I swear on both my clan and this village's honor that I'll do great things with it."

Hiruzen leans back in his seat and takes a puff from his pipe. "I'm sure you will. Now, you're all dismissed. You're also to report to training ground seven at your standard time tomorrow, but expect Kakashi to be there on time this time." Kakashi gulps at that, knowing there must be trouble brewing for him. His students snicker at him on their way out, and start discussing dinner plans for the evening.

Finally, Kakashi sighs and reaches into his vest, pulling a small toad from his pocket, and takes a moment to just look at it before chucking it full-throttle at the floor. It instantly turns back into Jiraiya and faceplants, slides forwards and flips into a scorpion pose, then stops seated with his back to the floor and his legs on the front of Hiruzen's desk. "Uuugh… Goddamnit Kakashi, you almost popped me!"

Hiruzen snorts out smoke. "If one of your clones would be beaten that easily, I'd have to seriously reconsider your rank in this village."

Jiraiya slowly rolls to his feet and stretches. "I've been riding back with them in disguise for a few days, what do you expect? I'm running on fumes here." He grumbles and arches his back. "Now, I already briefed Zabuza on this bit. While I was gathering intel on Orochimaru from around the islands, I managed to get in contact with a contingency of shinobi from the Kiri rebellion. Turns out, they managed to take over recently, and Yagura's good and dead."

Zabuza sighs and slumps against the wall. "Damnit, Yagura. I still don't know what the hell could have gotten him to act like that, even with Isobu in his head. Hell, that turtle probably would have hated what Yagura was doing."

"Concerning that…" Jiraiya turns to Zabuza with crossed arms. "Some recent intel suggests it may involve the same person responsible for the Kyuubi's attack here. Someone with a sharingan is running around messing with jinchuuriki, and Yagura was likely one of his targets."

Zabuza's brow furls. If not for how intensely muscled his face is, the lack of eyebrows would make it imperceptible. "Well that's pleasant. An overpowered Uchiha with an axe to grind against every village is someone I'd have to hope is just a myth, but Yagura's last ten years line up with that theory too well to be a coincidence."

Kakashi nods sternly. "But now that he's dead and disposed of, whatever plot this Uchiha was up to is stunted for now."

"But…" Jiraiya cuts in. "A certain snake in the grass has been benefitting from it. Orochimaru's been assisting in the bloodline purges in return for samples of any bloodlines to experiment with, and occasionally just cleaning up after massacres and taking kids and parts. I managed to stop some of his minions trying to take a Hozuki boy, and shortly after, I met some rebel nin there who were trying to clean up after the remainder of Yagura's regime. They informed me that they were looking into Orochimaru themselves, and would be willing to work with us on bringing the bastard down. Their new leader and soon-to-be Mizukage, Terumi Mei, is apparently eager to begin peace talks with us, knowing we have a similar passion for bloodline preservation, freedom of expression, and bringing down that slithering bastard."

"Wait…" Zabuza pushes himself off the wall. "Mei? Shit, I thought she died in the raid on Yagura that got me labeled a nukenin!" He grins through his mummy mask. "Well damn. I'll have to get her a few drinks if I ever get back there."

Hiruzen hums and smirks. "That sounds wonderful to me. So, here's how it'll go. You'll become our ambassador between Konoha and Kiri. You'll have dual membership and citizenship, and be sent to rendezvous with the Kiri anbu on reconnaissance in Gohangakure to be escorted there, while Kakashi retrieves any relevant information from them to return here." He starts sorting through scrolls on his desk. "Let's see… I have a few other missions in mind to send you on that could be used as a front for this operation, and make it a stronger political play in the process. Uniting with Kiri when we already have Suna on our side is sure to put Iwa against the wall and push them to either act as brashly as possible and get snuffed out quickly, or knowing Onoki, he'll play things as carefully as possible and feel out the alliance for a few months before playing his own underhanded tactics to either shoehorn his way into the alliance or undermine it as much as possible. Killer A on the other hand is a bit of a wild card. I haven't been able to really feel out his motivations and methods as Raikage yet, so we'll have to wait and see how he reacts. Surely not as brash or cruel as his father could be at times, given the lack of assassination attempts from his corner of the world."

Haku reaches up to prop her chin up as she thinks, mumbling for a moment through her index finger. "That's got to be one of the most critical political plays the world's ever seen. If you pull it off, it's a grand era of peace. If you fail, it's the start of a new war. A huge gamble to be sure, but skewed so far in your favor either way that it would be frankly stupid not to take advantage of it."

Hiruzen raises an eyebrow at her, then snorts as he catches Zabuza's eyes. "Careful, demon. You've taught her so well I'm considering making her the ambassador instead." He sighs in relief and sits up. "Well, I believe that's all for you two. Best you get going. For now, you'll be closely monitored by anbu, but you're free to enjoy the village as you see fit. I suggest you stay at the hotel on Goemon Boulevard, Ryu no Su."

Zabuza shrugs and saunters towards the door. "Thanks for this tip. Keep in touch, and if ya get a hawk to Kiri, give Mei my regards." He waves on his way out. "Later, cyclops."

"Says the man who got his ass beat when I used my other eye." Zabuza flips him off on the way out. Kakashi just shrugs and turns back to Hiruzen. "So, what's this about tomorrow morning?"

Hiruzen leans over his desk and passes Kakashi a very thick file. "A new training program proposed by Shikaku. I think you'll be satisfied by what you find here."

Kakashi raises his visible brow, then pulls his headband up to memorize the contents with his sharingan as he reads through. Every few moments, his eyes grow wider. "This… this is brilliant." He lowers the file and peeks over it to his kage. "Remind me to take Shikaku out for a few drinks for proposing this."

"Hmph." Hiruzen blows a fresh plume of smoke. "Funny, my son said the same thing, after 'what the hell got his lazy ass to write out something this big?'"