Chapter 18

Fated Fools Fooling Fate

When asking a shinobi their opinion on fate, you can come across a myriad of answers. Some say that your heritage and talent determine your fate. Some will say Fate is a fickle goddess. Others would call Fate a cruel hag who makes fools of mankind for her own entertainment. Some believe fate to be a lie altogether, just a series of coincidences and mathematical probabilities that people take advantage of to say a higher power of some sort is in command.

The wisest of them will tell you that fate does indeed exist, but it is determined by no god or predetermined force. Fate is determined by one's flaws. A fool is fated to be ruined by their foolishness. The overconfident are fated to die in circumstances beyond their ability. The blindly honor-bound are fated to die for their cause. The drunks are fated to stumble into harm's way and the sleazy are fated to be alone.

But fate can be offset. If flaws determine one's fate, then the strength of others can cover those weaknesses and allow fate to be averted and changed for the better, all in the name of kindness. The fool can be taught by the wise. The overconfident can be brought to earth by the experienced and stern. The honor-bound can be set free by the boundless. Drunks are guided by the sober and the sleazy find solace in a chaste soul.

Today, as the lives of the children who will one day come to be known as Konoha no Juu Ni no Sensō Genri (Konoha's 12 Principles of War) are set on their paths, so changes the fate of an avenger by the heart of a truly selfless woman.

But first, an idiot argues with a voice in his head.

"Damnit fox, for the last fucking time, I'm not good enough at sealing yet to figure this shit out!" Naruto screams at the top of his lungs, echoing through his mindscape. It even causes the bars of the bijuu's cage to reverberate a bit. He roughly scratches his head with both hands, somehow making his untamed hair even more of a mess. "I get that you want a more direct line to me, but I don't get this seal enough to do that! I can see if Jiraiya can modify it next time we see him, but I'm stumped!"

The Kyuubi grumbles as he lays across the bars from Naruto, staring him down. "Well, if you can't change this seal to allow it, what about making a new one? You make seals that mess with chakra in dozens of different ways all the time, and I'm a chakra being sealed into a purely mental and metaphysical form! There's got to be SOME way you can let me bypass the silencing seal and speak to you directly without having to use my chakra in combat!"

Naruto goes silent as he contemplates that route. Cogs and flywheels above in the abyss of his mindscape begin to piece together, illuminating more and more of the endless expanse above. He's noted this phenomenon before, that he can see up higher each time he comes to understand something more about this seal and about himself. A lot of progress has already been made on that front, yet he feels he's no closer to the top than before, if there even is one. Regardless, when the last cog fits into place, a new seal structure lights up on the wall high above. "Yeah… yeah, I think I've got one." It shifts slightly on the wall, parts breaking away and being replaced every few seconds. "It'd have to be a temporary seal at first, or something I can have marked into a cloth strip to wear under my clothes, and pull the top part out of my collar before attaching it under my headband."

The Kyuubi hums as he considers that structure. "That… might work. It would be a bit unreliable until you manage to find a way to work a route directly into my current seal, but it would work as long as you have it attached on both ends. What about a communicative output? Let me hijack your mouth to speak directly as long as you allow it?"

Naruto scowls a bit as he thinks that over. "Eeeeeh I dunno. Don't want ya saying something creepy through my mouth. I mean, I might be able to channel your mental chakra directly to my mouth and throat to override me, but it'll still be kinda tough. I'll need some input on mind control seals for that." He tilts back to think it over. "I'll ask Ino to invite me over to ask her dad a few things and see what he can provide."

"Works for now. You should wake up and get going though, I just started hearing your alarm." He reaches a claw through the bars and flicks Naruto with it before he can flee far enough, getting him right where the sun don't shine and snapping him awake instantly.

Naruto bolts upright and stares at his new bedroom's wall for a moment before Yoko peeks up to him from his lap and growls. "Yeah, yeah, I know. He's an asshole, but he's our asshole." He grumbles and pets Yoko nearly back to sleep before picking her up, draping her over his hunched shoulders, and marching out to the kitchen for breakfast.

.

.

Half an hour later, Naruto rushes out of the dining room with Yoko in his hood, catching up with Sasuke on their way out of the Uchiha compound. "Yo, Sasuke!" He stumbles to slow down to his teammate's pace. "Thanks again for letting us move in here. I.." He pauses. "… Besides Iruka adopting me, it's… it's the kindest thing anyone's ever done for me." And there it is again. His rare soft, genuine smile, shining through his mask far brighter than the ear-to-ear grin he usually hides behind. "A few months ago, I never would've thought you could do anything like this."

Sasuke huffs and shakes his head. "Just don't go advertising it, ok? My fangirls would be even worse than usual in no-time if you did."

Naruto cringes and shudders. "Oof… yeah, no way I'm doin that. I wouldn't wish that on anyone." Yoko yips in agreement. "Still… don't expect I'll take it sitting down. I'll repay you somehow, man. Bet on it."

Sasuke turns his head away and doubles his pace. "Repay me by living a better life in that building than anyone's been able to give my clan's compound in seven years.."

Naruto stumbles to a stop. Something in Sasuke's tone was… final. He'd come to a decision, or realization, of something critical recently and it's hitting him hard. For a moment, he wants to reach out and address it, but something in Sasuke's posture tells him he'd only cause more damage if he asked now. For now, he just catches up and stays by his best friend's side. His presence should be enough for now, until he's ready.

.

.

Team Seven's usual training ground is shockingly full that morning when the two of them arrive. Of course, Hinata notices Naruto from a mile away, so her turning red alerts Sakura to their presence and gets her turned around to greet them. For some reason, rather than alone beneath a tree with no sensei in sight as per usual, she stands in the midst of a small crowd of genin and four jonin, Kakashi included. "Hey, what took you two so long? Don't tell me you and Iruka were up watching horror movies with Anko again."

Naruto gapes like a fish for a moment, but shakes himself out of it and facepalms. "One goddamn time. One!" He points and narrows a glare as he steps up to her. "Bring it up again, and I'll crazy glue a zombie print to your bedroom window!"

Sakura gasps and steps back. "You wouldn't dare."

"You know me, Pinkie. I would. And I'd put a different one there each time you remove it at random intervals for months."

Sasuke nods. "Don't temp him, you know he will. He once replaced random tomatoes I'd harvested with wax ones, and when I caught on, he put an entire wax replica tomato plant in my garden."

Kakashi peeks up from his book. "Where the hell did you get one of those? Did you make it?"

Naruto grins and nods smugly, arms crossed as he feigns sage-like wisdom. "Truly one of my greatest masterpieces. Not the best payoff, but still satisfying." He freezes up as a heavy bandaged hand lands on his shoulder.

He peeks back to find Chouji channeling enough killing intent for his eyes to glow through his narrowed scowl. "Your pranks are great Naruto but don't you dare mess with a man's food."

He blanches and nods. "R-Right… I'll keep that in mind, Chouji. Reserved only for critical revenge pranks against people who deserve having their food ruined." As Choji scares the shit out of her partner, Yoko jumps down from his hood and trots over to Hinata, who eagerly kneels to pet her.

Chouji glares for a few moments, but nods and lights up almost instantly. "Well, I trust ya to reserve it only for dire cases. So how ya been, man? Barely seen ya since graduation."

"Oh, I'm pretty great!" Yoko yips from her new perch ins Hinata's arms. "Career's been interesting so far. Wait until I tell ya about the mission we just got back from. But first-" He turns to the crowd. "The HELL is everyone doing here?!"

Shikamaru sags and grumbles. "Damnit, Naruto, it's too early for you to be screaming at us. I have it bad enough with Ino on my team."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me as well as everyone just heard you. As for why we're all here, we haven't been told yet." He turns to stare at Asuma, who's just giving him a knowing smirk.

"Well, everyone necessary is here now, so I guess we can get started." He almost lights a cigarette, but Kurenai snuffs it out with a flick and leaves him to stash it away for later. "For those of you unfamiliar with me, I'm Sarutobi Asuma, sensei of Team Ten and son of the Sandaime. My dad's decided it's time to renovate the genin training program and start a new system that'll be sure to help you all grow faster and more successfully than any generation of shinobi before you."

Gai throws out his Nice Gai Pose™ to pick up where Asuma left off. "We'll all be taking turns training whoever wants to work on our specialized fields, so you can all get help with whatever skills you have that your usual sensei don't! Asuma is a specialist on elemental chakra manipulation, and I'm the village's top taijutsu specialist!"

Kurenai pushes Gai's arm down and cuts in. "I'm Konoha's resident genjutsu mistress, and Kakashi has the largest jutsu catalog in the village short of our Hokage. With all of us combined, you've got access to everything but a med nin, weapons training, and poi-"

"Did someone call for the poisonous seductress-" A beige blur barrels into the field and throws up a banner that pins to two trees on the border to present the invading nutcase's name. "Mitarashi Anko?!"

Naruto's eye twitches. "… Anko… Did you hide this training program from me last night… and then tail us here just to crash it?"

"Yes."

"You do know I know where you sleep and everything you're allergic to, right?"

Silence falls in the field for a few moments until Kiba shatters it with his mallet-blunt manners. "Uh, Naruto, you gonna introduce the babe, or-"

He's slugged into silence by Tenten. "Down, mutt."

Lee pouts. "Most unyouthful, Kiba-kun." He tilts his head. "Or maybe too youthful in the wrong direction?"

Kurenai shakes her head. "Asuma, be as rough with him as you want during your training today. He deserves it."

"Ok, enough gawking." Kakashi steps up and puts his book away. "Anko, you're welcome to stay, but you're not on the docket today. You're being scheduled for a session later this week, while we look for a med nin and a few weapon specialists. For now though." He turns and gazes across the horde of twelve genin. Each holds an incredible potential, and he can see it so easily, without his sharingan. Everyone here can become someone great, but for now, they're wrought iron that he and his comrades have to refine into cutting steel. "… Let's get to work. Line up for your first three hours with whoever you prefer."

.

.

Kakashi Hatake soon finds himself off to the north of the training ground property with a team of three he was honestly quite surprised to work with. The next generation of the legendary InoShikaCho trio stands before him with… not confidence or determination burning in their eyes, but something of a similar caliber that really contrasts with their lackadaisical presentation. One keep his hands in his pockets and stares off into space, one is munching away on his fifth bag of chips in the last hour (did Chouza even have that kind of appetite as a kid?) and the girl is just looking like she's got as many plans running through her head as his own blonde brat, but she's a bit more troubled by them. He hums to himself as he scans across them all. "Well, this is quite the coincidence. Something tell me the three of you planned to work with me for something very specific."

Shikamaru nods with stern certainty. "We all agreed that our sensei is really lacking in one department that you specialize in."

"Oh?" He tilts his head and stares down his masked nose at them. "And what would that be?"

Ino narrows her eyes a bit. "Variety. Asuma may be strong and skilled, but the only broad thing about his stature is his shoulders." She huffs and start to almost claw at the air with her frustration. "He's barely got any idea how to do half of what we're looking for outside our clan jutsu! Most of what he can do for us is a ways off, we're nowhere near where we need to be with elemental manipulation to make our own jutsu from scratch with it, but his jutsu list is shorter than-"

Shikamaru cuts in. "Your temper?"

She gives him the stink eye, but groans and hangs her head. "Yes, my temper."

Chouji chuckles softly through a full mouth. "Honestly, Asuma might be great, but he's really hands-off and hasn't worked with our clan members much thanks to all his time away from the village in the Twelve Guardian Shinobi." He takes another bite. "But we've heard of you through all our parents, we know you've worked with them a lot, so you've gotta have some good ideas of how our jutsu work and what goes well with them."

Kakashi slowly grins beneath his mask. "Oh, you three are going to be wonderful. Alright, so you're looking for jutsu that go well in conjunction with what your clans do, and fitting your own elements? That, I can easily do." He slowly pushes up his headband and exposes his eye. "I've copied more than enough jutsu to give you all the best arsenals you could ask for. So let's get started."

.

.

On the far east end of the training ground, Kurenai sits before four shinobi she's unsure what to think of. Two of them were obvious students, really. Sakura was sure to come to her for her developing genjutsu prowess and chakra control. Sasuke, as an Uchiha, has vast potential in the field as well, that he's just recently unlocked, according to Kakashi. Then there's the fact Anko insisted she pay a lot of attention to him today, if at all possible. Now she'll get that chance. The other two confuse her, though. The only reason she can see for Naruto coming to her is to stick with his team, but that just doesn't suit what she's heard of him through her own students. He'd clearly think critically enough to go somewhere more effective for his own style, so why her? And Lee confuses her even more for much the same reason. She's the complete antithesis of her skill set, so what the hell is he doing here? She couldn't help but be impressed with Lee's new style, though. He's apparently started growing his hair out again, about as long as Hinata's now, and it makes a world of difference compared to the bowl cut. Although he's still wearing the green jumpsuit, he's opted for a sleeveless version topped with a white gi and maroon belt, pulling together a surprisingly good look for him when topped with the maroon legwarmers. "Alright… So what are each of your plans with me today, then? I'd like to try and personalize all of your lesson plans, if I can."

Sakura shrugs. "Honestly, I just need a wider range of genjutsu than Kakashi knows. Ones with specific preset effects that I don't have to focus on as much as the Magen: Koko ni Arazu. (Demon Illusion: False Surroundings) It's versatile, but maintaining it in combat can be kind of a pain."

"Ugh, you don't have to tell me that." She grumbles. "Ok, yeah, I have a few in mind for you in that case." She turns to Sasuke and smiles softly. "And you're looking for some that you can easily use with your sharingan, then."

"Hmm… largely, but not exactly. I want to learn more about the foundations of genjutsu to make some of my own that work well with my close-to-mid range combat style."

She pauses at that thought. "That's... quite the goal. Meshing genjutsu and close combat is a difficult task, save for when you cast ones that trick the opponent into thinking they're bound. Most of those ones are quite costly…" She bites her lip and hums. "… but you do have a larger chakra pool than most genjutsu users, and a trap specialist in the team to make them seem more likely to be true." She smirks. "Brilliant, honestly. Nobody will see it coming from your combat style, and it'll be a great ace up your sleeve." Sasuke can't help but smirk at that phrase, then snort as he watches her face fall upon turning towards the remaining two. "So what are you two doing here of all places, then?"

Naruto lays back in the grass with one leg propped up on his other knee. "Simple. I have a bit of a weakness for genjutsu and need to learn to fight it off better. I have an idea or two, but need to test them. So I'll make clones to be everyone's practice dummies."

Lee nods eagerly. "Although I am incapable of making clones, I too want to work past my weakness for genjutsu by acting as a target for my comrades. Hopefully, it will help us all to be more successful in both casting them and escaping them."

Kurenai's taken aback by their enthusiasm for playing the targets in this scenario. Yes, it's necessary to do with genjutsu practice but she suspected she'd have to make students take turns for it. This is a hell of a lot easier. "Um.. alright. Well, no need for clones then, Naruto-"

"Oh, there is." He cuts in. "I need to observe my clone to see how their resistance to the genjutsu works and looks from the outside."

"Hmm.. An odd method, but…" She shrugs it off. "Seems you're got a decent idea what you're doing. No experience with shadow clones myself, don't quite have the chakra capacity for it." She snaps her fingers, and suddenly, all of them realize their surroundings are completely different from what they believed, standing by a waterfall instead of in standard, nondescript woods, and Kurenai is actually behind them. "but you've all got a long way to go in this department, so let's stop babbling and get to work."

"RIGHT!" Naruto instantly makes a eleven clones, sending six to the side while himself and five others remain near Kurenai. "Fire away at the six of us whenever you're ready!"

Sasuke can't help but slowly grin at that opportunity. "Oh, I'm going to make you see the most awful things you've ever witnessed, Naruto."

Sakura nods as she steps up beside him. "I second that. Payback time for Chuckles the Ass Clown."

Naruto slowly pales, as do his clones, but he's quickly in the receiving end of every genjutsu they both already know, mainly the False Surroundings and Hell Viewing jutsu.

Kurenai is instantly unsure what to think of Sasuke. She's intrigued, but also deeply worried as she watches more closely. At first, there's a clear, rivalrous bond between him and Naruto, but… there's a malice deep beneath it all that slowly surfaces, some resentment towards his comrade, that she feels is a more recent addition to their relationship. She peeks aside to Anko, hidden amongst the trees, and receives a curt and grim nod. Anko knows what's up with Sasuke, and relays what she can through a series of Anbu-standard hand signals mixed with letter-by-letter sign language to fill in blanks that aren't covered by Anbu strategic protocol.

She's snapped out of her thought for a moment as the real Naruto swears in pain as he's brought out of a genjutsu by Yoko biting his ear.

.

.

In the southern reaches of the grounds, Asuma raises an eyebrow at his own three. He's not surprised by two of them, but one is a bit of a shocker. For one, there's Naruto. He saw the stunt the boy pulled, sending a clone off with Kurenai earlier. A smooth move to be sure, and left him assured that he was dealing with the original Naruto in his own party. He was surely here to work on his wind chakra with the village's own expert in that field. Next was Higurashi Tenten. Quite the girl, considering what he's heard. He got his trench knives from her father's shop, a custom order, and she's been working in there and learning every weapon type she can for quite a few years. Her talents in that field would be wonderfully applied to his specialty of elemental chakra weapon augmentation. But then there's Hyuuga Neji. He may be of the branch house, but just one look says he's as much of a traditionalist in his clan's ways as possible, and therefore not likely to really the type to take much to any of what he has to teach. So why would he be here? "So…" He takes a drag of his cigarette. "What brings you here, Neji? I get the other two, but you're a mystery."

He scoffs and narrows his eyes. "I wanted to see the prowess of Hokage-dono's own prodigal son, compared to the buffoon I work with on a daily basis. Some guidance from someone more competent and logical would be a wonderful change of pace."

"Neji!" Tenten scolds her teammate, getting in his face. "What the hell is wrong with you? Gai sensei might be eccentric, but he's a perfectly fine sensei!"

Naruto grumbles. "Not cool, Neji." He crosses his arms. "Bushy Brow Sensei might be weird, but he's an Elite Jonin for a reason. I get if ya don't like his methods, but that's nothing to talk shit about him for."

Neji's eyes narrow on Naruto. "As expected, a destined failure idolizes a fool who fought their way through the ranks to a position they don't deserve."

This nearly sets Naruto off into a rant, but he cools himself off quickly and instead of blowing over her just simmers and glares daggers into Neji's unerring eyes. "You've just made a powerful enemy, Neji. I hope you know that."

Neji scoffs and looks back to Asuma, straight ahead. "Powerful how? Your traps mean nothing to my eyes. I can see every one of them long before I'm close enough to set them off. Your skill set is abysmal and won't get you anywhere in this career."

Silence falls as Naruto's glare darkens until red seeps into his eyes. He then hears a voice in his mind. "As much as I want you to tear that arrogant white-eyed bastard a new asshole, it's best you not. Prove him wrong in your own way, brat." He calms down to a simmer again as the Kyuubi's words. He doesn't even dignify Neji with a response.

He instead turns to Asuma with a devious smirk. "If you can make clones, I suggest you split us up to teach us individually."

Asuma's eyes narrow, but he quickly nods and conjures his own Kage Bunshin. "Ya think I wouldn't have picked this one up from my dad? One of his favorites too, after all."

.

.

In the west, Gai stands before Kurenai's entire team, grinning down to them with arms crossed and unwavering excitement. "Wonderful to see you all here! Hinata-chan, it's grand to finally meet you. Your cousin has been most unyouthful when speaking of you, and I fully intend to help you prove his arrogance!" He gives her the Nice Gai ™ thumbs-up before pointing to Kiba. "Kiba-kun, your clan's focus on raw instinct in combat has done well, but a proper martial style can be blended into instinct quite well if you drill it hard enough, and the physical conditioning would do you a world of good!" He steps towards Shino and crouches fast enough to power-slide on his feet for a foot or two, looking absolutely giddy and right up in his face. "And Shino-kun! What brings one of the prestigiously strategic Aburame to my class today?"

Shino stares blankly through his shades for a moment, but sighs and pulls his dominant hand- his left- from his pockets and flexes it. "Taijutsu has always been one of my clan's greatest weaknesses. This is something I intend to subvert, and to do so, I would need a specialist's insight. Suggestions for a style or two to utilize, how to condition myself safely enough to not risk my hives, and so-on." He huffs. "If you're not too squeamish to hear it, I'll tell you the details of internal hive management in private. My father's praise of your loyalty is enough for me to believe you worthy of hearing such clan secrets."

Gai throws him another thumbs-up. "Incredible! This is going to be the most unique training I've ever assisted with! Now…" He backs up to face them all with open arms. "Let your Fires of Youth burn bright! Ten laps around this training ground, and then, we'll get to a few spars so I can determine your perfect combat forms!"

.

.

Three hours later, the four sensei and twelve students meet back up, only for Kurenai to look between the two Naruto on hand in confusion, before the one next to her pops into a cloud of smoke. The real Naruto grins ear to ear and folds his arms behind his head. "Thanks for the lessons, Kurenai-sensei! Seems at least one of my theories was right. The other's still kinda inconclusive, though…"

Sakura nods and with a smug grin. "The Red Burst method worked pretty well, should be easier for you than the clones."

Sasuke hums thoughtfully. "Could be dangerous, but no more so leaving yourself stuck in a genjutsu to get caught unaware."

Kakashi pats his student's back. "It's good practice for using that skill more often and easily, regardless. Now, everyone split up to meet with different sensei than your last one, and we'll split up for another three hours of training. After that, you'll all have the rest of your days off. Next week, we'll have a few more specialists on hand to suit less common skills."

Naruto nods and saunters to the one sensei he hadn't already worked with, finding Choji and Sakura also following him to Gai. "So, bushy-brow, sure you're got enough energy to keep up with me?"

He huffs. "Naruto, you might be one of the only students with enough stamina to keep up with me, but not quite the strength and speed to ensure it. We'll have to work on those. Sakura, you especially need work in that field, and Chouji, as speed is far from necessary for your clan's skill set, we'll be focusing more on strength for you." He turns and waves for them to follow him back to his corner of the grounds. "So, is there anything specific each of you is looking for?"

Sakura crosses her arms and hangs her head. "Honestly, I just need to improve my weakest trait so I can keep up with the others."

Chouji munches down another handful of chips, refueling the chakra he spent in his three hours with Kakashi. "I need to improve how much weight and force I can handle, and improve my blocking proficiency. I need to be able to catch and either cancel or deflect anything that comes at me."

Gai peeks back with a grin. "Oooh? Going for traditional Sumo methods then, are you? I can certainly help with that. It's far from a style I'm proficient with, grappling isn't quite me, but I know the foundations of it well enough to help you work you way up to mastering that art in short order." He peeks over his other shoulder. "And what of you, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto sighs and tilts his head back, staring at the sky. "I dunno. I've always been pretty good in taijutsu. Sasuke and Kiba were the only ones in our class that could consistently beat me, but I don't really have any finesse, any style. But if I do take one up, I want it to be something as unpredictable as the rest of my skills."

"Hmm.." Gai hangs his head and scratches his scalp a bit. "Unpredictable, huh?" He thinks it over for a few moments. "That's difficult. There's only two truly unpredictable styles I know of, and one won't suit you at all. The Drunken Fist is a very rare talent you have to be a natural with, and I know a certain… condition of yours prevents you from getting drunk to begin with."

"Eeeeh it's certainly hard. I've heard from a certain toad that there's one stash of booze that could do it, but it's hard to get your hands on and tastes like downing a cup of burning oil."

Gai shudders at that. "Remind me not to let Jiraiya near Lee. As for the other style, that would be Monkey style. There's only one person in the entire village who can teach you that one, ever since… well, since the youngest practitioner died in combat several years ago."

Naruto instantly goes silent as he recalls the Hokage's second son. Konohamaru's father. His loss was quite the event in this village. His funeral was vast and the mourning lasted for days, even among the shinobi ranks. It's still unknown who managed to kill him, but Naruto always got the sense that Jiji knew who had done it, and refused to publicize it. There was murder in his eyes for weeks.

But, that also means the one person left to teach this style is none other than the Sandaime Hokage himself. Naruto sighs and nods faintly. "I'll have to speak with him soon, then. For now, though... do you know any Wind or Earth styles I could learn to incorporate into it?"

This slowly brings a grin to his face. "A meshing of three styles, with the most unpredictable as the foundation? Oh, I cannot wait to see the results!" He cheers to the skies. "Very well, then! I'll be teaching you Feng Shou and Hung Gar Kuen! They mesh together surprisingly well, with Feng Shou focusing on deflection and meshing well with chop-focused styles and easily adapted into one, while Hung Gar Kuen is very grounded, direct, and impactful! Both use mid to low stances and mesh well with the foundation of Monkey!" He turns and points to Sakura. "And you, dear, will be learning a mesh of styles that surfaced in recent years which appears to be optimal for self-defense, guard positions, and maintaining control in extremely close quarters. It's called Krav Maga, and I just know you're going to have fun learning this one!"

Suddenly, three distinct sets of explosions go off at the other corners of the training ground, followed by a scream of rage from a high-pitched blonde in the distance. Naruto just grins ear-to-ear. "I love my job. I really do."

.

.

Back in the northern corner of the grounds, Kakashi picks pieces of kelp from his hair as he addresses his next set of students. Lee Is grinning ear to ear at Naruto's prank, finding his comrade's trapping skills to be something of a marvel. Hinata can't help but giggle faintly at it all, despite her misfortune of getting a fish dropped on her head by Naruto's "Pond Bomb". Neji on the other hand is ignoring the mess of kelp and even a snail on his own head purely out of spite, narrowing a glare onto Hinata. "Cousin, it is unbecoming of you to support that fool's mechanisms. You're the heiress. Act like it for once, and the council may hate you a little less." He huffs. "Maybe you'll even be able to keep your seat instead of losing it to Hinabi."

This knocks the smile straight off her face. She instantly sinks into herself, staring at the ground as the water in her hair drips to her feet. Lee is taken aback by Neji's hateful words to his own family, but Kakashi cuts in before he can say a word. "Neji…" There's venom in his voice. "Hinata is your family and comrade. Do not speak down to her in my presence, or I assure you, you'll be receiving far more than training from me today."

Despite being entirely outclassed, Neji turns his glare upon his new sensei. "About that. You consider my sensei your comrade as well, and apparently, he calls you his rival. How is it that you, the most elite jonin we have, not only accept that green buffoon as your rival, but allow that orange charlatan to run free with his juvenile antics and still call him a shinobi, let alone your student?"

Kakashi falls silent for a few moments as he lets Neji's words sink in. He's worked plenty with the Hyuuga clan before. Judgmental. Traditional to a fault. There's a few idioms around the village about them ritualistically getting rods up their asses at birth to keep their backs straight and attitudes constantly sour. Neji instantly proves himself to be that clan's ideals pushed to extremes. There's no breaking that kind of mentality without a complete existential crisis. For now, Kakashi's only weapon against him is to use his own words against him. "So you think my friend and my student both fools, do you? Fine then." He slowly stands and cracks hic knuckles. "While my clones attend to the other two, I'll be coming at you with nothing but their skills that I happen to share, and I'll show you just how strong a fool can be."

.

.

Kurenai coughs up the last few bits of glitter she accidentally inhaled from the initial blast. "Dear god, how did Naruto get that much?"

Tenten rubs some of it between her fingers. "Hmmm… Well, thankfully, this is the kind made from seaweed. Biodegradeable, it'll be gone in a few weeks without us having to clean anything."

"Good…" Shikamaru lays in the grass, eyes still closed, and completely covered in glitter he hasn't bothered to brush off. "Too troublesome to clean all of this."

Ino finally makes her way back from the nearby stream, but there's still some glitter in her hair. "Ugh, he HAD to get the ultra-fine stuff!" She huffs. "At least once you get rid of most of it, it's a half-decent fashion statement." She grumbles and crosses her arms. "Anyway… let's just get to training."

"WAIT!" Tenten jumps up. "Before we start…" She pulls a notebook from a seal inside her left pocket and holds it up to Kurenai with a pen. "Can I please get your autograph? I've always admired you for being our top jonin kunoichi! Your signature in here could only be beaten by Tsunade-sama herself!"

Kurenai blushes faintly, but she can't help but grin at that enthusiasm. "Well, I hope I can help you be half as good as I am! Alright, why not? Wow…" She takes the book and pen to fill in one of the later pages, already labeled with her name. "This is actually the first time anyone's asked this of me…"

.

.

Kiba is still struggling to breathe through his hoodie as an atrocious stench drifts across Asuma's corner of the grounds. Sasuke is as nonplussed as ever, just ignoring it as best he can. Shino on the other hand is plugging his nose with his kikaichu, and Asuma is fending it off with the smell of his cigarette. "Hmm… not a bad mix, Naruto. Pretty sure he had to hunt a few skunks for some of the ingredients in this one."

"I know he did." Sasuke grumbles. "He was bragging about this one for weeks."

Kiba roars to the skies. "I'm gonna kick his ass the moment this training's over!"

"I would advise against that." Shino cuts in, pushing up his glasses. "You'll only become a victim of an even worse, very targeted prank."

"He's right." Sasuke side-eyes the Inuzaka. "Best to just leave it be."

"Well…" Asuma puffs out a plume of smoke. "Best way to distract yourself from something like this is extreme training. So, what are each of you after?"

Kiba keeps the cloth of his hoodie up over his mouth and nose. "Akamaru and I are both looking to learn to channel our elemental chakra into our claws." The pup cowering in his hood nods.

Asuma raises an eyebrow. "Both of you? Never trained a ninken before. Never heard of one using an element, either… but I'd love to see where it goes. Alright, then. And how about you, Shino?"

"A similar quandary." He raises his hand, showing a horde of kikaichu feeding from the chakra he channels to it. "I intend to produce enough elemental chakra to feed it to my kikaichu and produce hives that specialize in those elements."

Asuma's jaw slacks and almost drops his cigarette. "Whoa… you really are Shiki's kid. He must be proud of you for a plan that merges insanity and logic so fluidly." He sighs and shakes his head. "Alright, I suppose that'll do, then. And Sasuke?"

"Actually, I have a really different request." He reaches into his left pocket and pulls out none other than the Raijin no Ken, sparking it to life. "I've heard you channel wind chakra into those trench knives. That'd make you the perfect sparring partner for me to train with this against without shocking you."

Asuma slowly steps closer to inspect the legendary weapon. "Well I'll be damned. Kakashi told me my dad let you keep this, but I never expected to see it. You've got yourself a deal, kid." He puffs up one more plume of smoke before producing two clones to split up the training. "Let's get to work." He grins as Sasuke draw his tsurugi in his right hand and channels lightning chakra into that as well. He instantly knows he'll have fun with this kid. Skilled, ambitious, quiet, courteous, yet far from condescending with any of those properties. For the next three hours, the only thing that sours his joy with this training session is sparks of anger that seep through into his combat, pushing him into more violent attacks and reckless strategies.

.

.

Shortly after two PM, the twelve students and their four sensei separate. Hinata reluctantly returns Yoko to Naruto after nearly half an hour of everyone just mingling in the central field. Sasuke turns away to head home first, having been standing aside and not talking to anyone for the last ten minutes. His leave grabs Naruto's attention, but then he recalls the plans he made with the Kyuubi that morning and bolts to Ino. "Hey, real quick! Any chance I can follow you back home to speak with your dad? I've got a few critical questions for him that'll be pretty important for some seals I'm working on." Yoko leaps back up into his hood, leaving Naruto stumbling back for a moment from the sudden weight pulling at his shoulders.

Ino hums and tilts her head as she thinks it over. "He didn't have any meetings after one or missions today, so… I think he should be open for that. Sure, I'll guide ya there. On one condition, though!" She leans into his face. "You need to tell me everything you can about the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. I need it to pull together my own technique I'm working on."

Naruto backs away as she leans in so close, but nods eagerly. "O-Of course! Let's get going!" He turns back to everyone else. "See you all in two days! And Hinata, we gotta test out wind chakra against each other sometime! I gotta see how good you've gotten!"

Hinata turns away to try and hide how red her face has gotten, but calls out to him regardless. "M-Maybe t-tomorrow?"

"Sure! See ya here at three?"

"O-Of course, Naruto-kun!" She waves to him as he leaves, and everyone slowly breaks away to enjoy the remainder of their days- all save for Neji, who's in excruciating pain from getting his ass beaten into next week by Kakashi for three hours, and instead started limping home immediately after training.

But two of the sensei break away together, tracking Sasuke's slow route back to the Uchiha compound. Kurenai is biting her index finger as she thinks over everything she saw today. "… You know what Anko had in mind when she suggested we pay attention to Sasuke, don't you?"

He nods somberly. "Yes, I do. And we both know at least part of how he feels." He almost lights another cigarette, but huffs and puts it away when she glares at him. "You with the loss of family… and me with feeling like what family I had and looked up to most betrayed me. He's in a really bad place, 'nai. He needs our help."

"I know, but…" She bites a bit harder. "Are we… are we ready for something like that? I mean, we aren't even-" She stops herself short, but Asuma cuts in.

"Married? Yeah… but who says we need to be? We can still take care of him… if he lets us. For now, we just keep helping him, getting closer, seeing if he'll let us…" He gently caresses her cheek and turns her to face him. "and if our status means that much to you in this… then fuck the risk of you having my name. We'll just have to be strong enough that no assassin would dare make a move on you for having it."

Her eyes go wide as she gazes deep into his half-lidded hazels. All her shinobi training goes out the window, and tears well in her eyes. "A-Asuma… d.. d-do you really mean that?"

He slowly nods. "Seeing that kid today reminded me of everything I've lost, that I stupidly left behind… and everything I have to gain. So yes. I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

For an experienced career shinobi, acting on anything in broad daylight is rarely a good idea, but on this day, they change the fate of the world with a passionate kiss in the open air of Konoha's shopping district, turning heads and stilling hearts. Although in that moment it is merely a burst of joy and love unbridled, in the years to come it will be an Avenger once again a son, a Martyr off his cross, an estranged found family never to be broken, and the plans of a snake in the grass and a mole in the roots both undone.

.

.

A.N.: SO, how's that for my biggest chapter yet? And not that long of a gap between this and the last one, either!

So, I'm sure you've all noticed a LOT of both overt and subtle events in this chapter that really change the future of this world by a lot compared to canon. Maybe some of them will slip by your notice entirely, but some are clear as day, because I wanted to make a point that from here on, despite me doing the Wave mission, I intend to subvert things by a lot. Expect this world to go in a very different, much more interesting direction!