Disclaimer:I don't own Babylon 5, or any of the chrarcters. I don't own anything, i'm broke. So even if you try to sue me, You won't get anyhting out of it.
Hi there! this is my first attempt at a B5 fic, and in fact my first attempt at a fanfic here! If it's too weird for you, blame my muses. Reviews are welcome, and i'd be happy for suggestions, or to put a reviewer or two in if they'd like. If you read this, please take a moment to review! I'd like to know what my readers think!
It started out as a normal day on Babylon 5. G'kar was in his quarters plotting on how to rip each and every hair on Londo Mollari's head out. Londo was sitting in his quarters plotting how to shove G'kar out an airlock. Morden was asking people questions with a vaguely suggestive connotation. Garibaldi was skulking around in a fedora. Ivanova was off somewhere dancing around a lumati. And the entire crew of C&C was kneeling on the floor chanting, "Ivanova is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is God. And, if I ever do anything wrong, Ivanova will personally rip my lungs out." Or at least they were, until a shirtless John, with a giggling Delenn hanging on his arm, poked his head in and irately yelled at them to stop chanting and steer this damn thing!
Meanwhile in Down Below, Zach was having a very bad day. It had started when his alarm went off 5 hours before it was supposed to, waking him up at 2 A.M. Then, unable to get back to sleep, he went to have some breakfast, only to find that someone his favorite breakfast cereal had inexplicably been replaced with Flarn-O's. Sitting down to eat his first bowl, he had discovered that they tasted horrible. But that was okay, because at the sound of the Flarn-O's falling into the bowl, his door was broken down by twenty Minbari who ran off with the box, his bowl, any pieces of cereal that had fallen on the floor, and half the table. He'd finally decided to just ride up and down in the lift until he had to go to work, threw up, or both. On the twenty-seventh ride down, Lyta got on. 'Ah ha, finally some luck. I can put the moves on Lyta. Feisty redheads turn me on.' He thought.
"Hey Lyta, you wanna go back to my quarters? Forget Kosh, I'll show you what's inside my encounter suit." He said, leaning over to her. However, Lyta seemed about to reply when her eyes turned totally black. In a mechanical voice she said, "Can not. Must go make naughty love to Vorlon. Figure out what strange thing shaped like a teapot is for." Then she stepped off the lift.
When Zach's shift finally started, he almost jumped for joy. However, he later wished he had just got back into bed and spent the whole day there. The first thing he had to do was convince some strange cult that had just sprung up to stop disturbing the peace. Unfortunately, they were disturbing the peace by skipping around in bright pink robes, singing "ring around the rosy" and throwing pink confetti and candy hearts at everyone. With a growing headache, he went off to look for the Chief. He found Garibaldi yelling at people, as usual.
"Listen, when I say I need two hundred hamsters by Friday, I mean I need them by Friday! What do you think you're trying to pull here?" he yelled at a cowering shopkeeper.
"Chief?" he said, tapping Garibaldi on the shoulder.
"Huh?" said the shopkeeper. "He's not the Chief of Security, is he?" Garibaldi sighed and took off the fedora. The shopkeeper yelped, and immediately began to shove some things under his cart.
"What is it Zach?" asked Garibaldi, putting his fedora back on while the shopkeeper started wheeling his cart off so fast it left skid marks.
"Well, umm," said Zach feeling the urge to make sure someone else had just as bad a day as he did, "Talia Winters asked for you. She said for you to come to her quarters with a bottle of champagne, the sexiest lingerie you can find, and wearing a pair of tight leather pants. Really tight leather pants." Said Zach, fighting the beginning of a malicious grin off his face. Garibaldi's eyes widened larger than he would have thought possible, then he ran off so fast his fedora was left behind. Zach put it on so that it overshadowed his eyes in a mysterious sort of way. He turned, promptly walked into a wall. He was found wandering around later, mildly concussed, and insisting he was "6 Slug Mahoney, P.I."