You sighed as you hopped into the shower stall. As you felt the hot water pour for a few minutes onto your skin, you heard your phone ringing. You moaned and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around you and answered, "Hello?"
"Hey, this is Marissa Festa. Um, I was wondering if Jade was with you?"
You paused and took a deep breath as you said, "No he isn't. He's on tour right now."
"Oh, okay. Well can you maybe tell him I called? I know it's been a while since we last spoke but I'd really appreciate it,"
"Okay, I'll tell him," you said sadly and hung up. You exhaled and walked downstairs.
Why did Marissa call you of all people? How does she even know about you and Jade?
You then started to wonder if she wanted to get back together with him. It wouldn't be a surprise because Jade did promise to marry her and he should keep his word. You started to worry as more thoughts ran into your head. You tried to shake them off but they kept reoccurring into your thoughts.
You then decided you weren't going to tell Jade she called at all. You know it would hurt her feelings but you didn't want anything to come between you and Jade.
But still something remained on your mind. What would happen if Jade got in contact with her?
About 4 weeks later, Jade had called you from his cell phone. He had called and told you that Marissa had called his cell phone and they had a great conversation about how their lives are now.
"Jade…do you still love Marissa?"
"What? Why would you think that? I mean, I used to but it's different now,"
"I don't know. It just seems like everything is different between us now and that she was really important and maybe you should follow through with your promise,"
"What are you talking about, Jess? You're not going to break up with me. Not after all that's happened,"
"Well if following a promise means leaving me, maybe you should go. I mean, you obviously don't want to deal with the twins any more than I do! So maybe, you should leave!"
"But I don't want to Jess but if you're telling me to go, maybe I should! Jess, I cannot believe you're doing this! What happened to everything we've gone through? Why would you think that after all that, I'm just going to go back to my old girlfriend?" He yelled angrily.
You didn't know what was going through your mind. You were pushing him away and you knew exactly what you were doing. You hung up. You didn't have an answer to his question.
He then called back several times but you didn't pick up. You didn't know what you were doing. You were giving him an opportunity to go back to her. It was like you wanted him to leave. But inside you were dying and in pain.
You had walked up to your room and lay on your bed and stared at the ceiling. You felt your lip quiver. You had grabbed your phone to listen to your messages. There was one from Jade that made you cry. He sounded like he'd been crying as it said,
"So, it's really over...I don't know what's going through your head right now but this is possibly the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I tried to talk to Davey, but he demanded that I hand him my cell phone so he can yell at you at how crazy you are for doing this. What are you going to do about the pregnancy? You're not going to be able to take care of them by yourself and I want to be involved as much as possible! You're not being very reasonable with this whole thing. You don't understand how much I love you. But if this is what you want, I guess it would be worth dying over…"
You felt the tears roll down your cheeks and onto your pillow. You rolled over and off the bed as you stood up and started pacing your room.
"What am I supposed to do?" you screamed while smearing your makeup. As you paced, you tripped over a box. You recognized this box. You then opened it slowly as you saw that beautiful razorblade. Your eyes widened as you saw your hand reaching for it as you tried to stop yourself. The next thing you knew was that the little razorblade was sliding across your skin leaving crimson lines on your pale skin. You raised your now sliced arms and let the blood touch your lips. You felt yourself feel satisfied as you gleamed at the fulfilling taste. You then heard a knock on your door which made you jump causing you to accidentally cut your palm. You pulled your white long-sleeved shirt down over your arms. But you had cut deeper than you had expected to and it bled through and dripped onto the floor.
You stood up and grabbed a hoody and threw it over as you opened to the door to see Schilling standing there looking confused.
"Hey, is everything okay up here? I heard you crying. What happened?"
"I broke up with Jade," you sobbed.
She looked at you angrily and demanded the reason why.
"Marissa deserves him more than I do. She got hurt in the process of him leaving and she deserves all of him now," you tried to explain. She just shook her head and yelled, "He would freaking die for you, Jess! Can you imagine how much pain you probably just caused him? How could you do this to him?"
She then stomped downstairs. You felt another tear go down your face. You let your friends down too. They're all going to be so mad when they hear the news. This only made you even more depressed as you went and locked your door to your room.
You had a bottle of extra strength Tylenols sitting on your end table. You stumbled over to them and decided to take a few to numb the pain in your arms. The next thing you knew you were completely numb. You fell asleep as the night shifted its way towards you.
The next few days passed by horribly. Your friends wouldn't even speak to you so you were completely alone between your four walls. You had barely eaten and you were starting to get dazed. But you didn't have any motivation to get up.
But when you did, it was only to stare out the window and testing your mind range. You got up and stood by the window and opened it and sat out on the rooftop for a little while. You placed your hands on your stomach as you stared into the distant sunset.
"A few more weeks…" you whispered into the air.
You then started to feel dizzy. You felt yourself ready to puke as you bent over let it all out of your system. You looked down and noticed it was all stomach acid. You wiped the sweat off your face as you blinked a few time to get the vision back in your eyes.
But this sickness was like morning sickness at all.
You got up, despite your weakness as you crawled back in though your window.
You snatched the bottle of Tylenol and yelled, "Why isn't it working? Maybe, I'm not taking enough," before popping a few down your throat. Within a few minutes, instead of relief, you felt everything start to feel blurry. You tried to stand up and walk out the door but you collapsed and fell down the stairs. You screamed in pain as you held your stomach from the impact. You felt tears stream down as everything started to black out.
:.Jade's point of view.:
"What happened?" you screamed into the phone. You hear them swallow and say, "Well, apparently she wasn't eating enough and on top of that was trying to kill the pain by taking more Tylenol. But it ended up that she overdosed easily because her weak state and then fell down the stairs. She in ICU and they're not giving us any good news… We also found out that she started another habit. Jade, she was cutting herself. Because of this, we think she might've been purposely not eating in order to kill herself and the twins. I'm really sorry, Jade. "
You sighed as you felt your eyes watering. Then you asked, "Did they give you any news on how the twins are? Are they okay?"
You heard them sigh as they said, "We haven't been told anything about the twins."
You growled and punched the wall and screamed, "Damnit, I need to know!"
You heard them breath an agitated sigh as they snipped, "Jade, is there any way you can get here? They're only allowing relatives in!"
"I'll be there," you said and slammed the phone.
"Jade, is everything okay?" you heard Marissa ask. You turned and stared her in the eyes as you said, "No. Jess is in intensive care because of me. No one is telling me any good news. I have to be there. I mean, she is pregnant because of me and I have to be there. I'm sorry, Marissa,"
She shook her head and said, "Go. Go and be with her. She needs to have a reason to live!"
She then shoved you away and set you off to a jumpstart as you hopped into a car with your band. This was like Silver and cold all over again but instead with you driving and Davey not being the victim. You drove for your life as you slid through the rainy streets.
You were in San Francisco so it would be an hour drive but you wanted to cut that in half for fear that you wouldn't make it in time…