Hey folks, I just gotta make an adjustment here – gotta lower the microphone. Now, I know what you're thinking. Olly, this is not a place for kids! But let me tell you, this boy ain't no kid. Well, he hasn't been for near 35 years now anyway. You see, the little fella… well, that's his story…
#4823, that's you Peter – come on up here.
Ha…Hi. I'm Pete Sweeney. And, this is pretty much what I looked like when I died – was killed, drowned. Well, my skin wasn't quite so grey, but other than that…
Anyway, so I was a small kid, a lonely kid. All I ever wanted was some friends! But no one would ever play with me. Then, I met Jake and Billy. I thought they were OK at first, but then I realized that they didn't want to be friends – they just wanted to give me a hard time for some reason.
Those guys were so mean! They were always laughin' at me and callin' me names. They even beat on me a few times. Stupid bullies!
Then, this one time, I was swimmin' (by myself!) in the lake, when Jake and Billy come by. They thought they were so funny. They'd come up with this new game, a new way of torturing me. Not much to it, really. They just took turns grabbin' my hair and dunkin' me in the water. Over and over and over, and longer and longer and longer. 'Til finally the water around me seemed to get darker and my insides started burning up like I ate fire.
After that, I was lonelier than ever. I couldn't even go home and tell my mom what happened. I became some kind of a fish or something, I guess, because I couldn't leave the water. Funny thing was though, I didn't have to stay in the lake. If there was water, I could go there! I was, like, magical or something!
I decided that it was up to me to make friends. I wouldn't be Sweeney the Weenie anymore. I would get people to play with me even if it killed them. Which, I soon realized, it did.
I was never really that big on violence, so I didn't really want to hurt people. I knew how it felt. I was hurt so many times by Jake and Billy… that's when I came up with a solution. I decided I would teach those jerks a lesson.
Then, one day I was floating around in a water cooler and overheard some men talking about the lake – my lake. They said something about lack of funding and the dam and floodgates and stuff. Basically, my lake was gonna be gone in a few months. I was running out of time and it seemed that Jake and Billy still didn't get it.
So, I started 'making friends' faster. There was Chris, Sophie, Will… Then, who should show up? Billy! He actually came to me – he finally got it.
But Jake? Well, Jake was still being stubborn. So, I tried to make friends with his daughter, Andrea. But something happened. Some guy – never saw him before – some guy pulled her away from me. Weird.
But, I wouldn't be discouraged. I called to Lucas. I called and he came, but then… there was that guy again! And there was another guy with him. They were trying to take Lucas, my new friend away!
Well, I wasn't going to let that happen. But then, after waiting for 35 years, Jake showed up! He got it. I finally made him understand. So, I let the second guy take Lucas back – after all, I know what it is like being taken away from your mom at that age. I guess all those years of being angry and lonely kind of melted away – and I had enough friends anyway.
Hey kid! I just got a call – seems you don't belong here after all. They're inviting you to go up to that big playground in the sky. Have fun! And thanks for the story.