"Callie asked me to be her girlfriend."
At that news, I did the only thing I could possibly think of doing. I got up, ran out of the room, and locked myself in my bedroom.
I didn't know why I did that. Maybe it was a little dramatic. But, what am I supposed to say to that?
I just felt overwhelmed, I guess. In my mind, girlfriend was a big title. Callie would actually be around more-rather than me just hearing them on the phone.
Mom would be happy. It was so obvious how much she liked Callie. Mom was probably so excited that she had been asked.
Why wasn't I happy for her? I don't know.
My immediate reaction was panic. Not a scared panic... just a confused type panic. I didn't know what to think, and that made me run, I guess.
And, that scared Mom. Clearly.
"Olivia? Honey, what is it?" She was knocking desperately on my door. Her voice was sad. "Please open the door. We can talk about it, sweetheart." She said softly.
I sighed, I couldn't just let her stand there all sad and disappointed. I got up, unlocking the door and pulling it open. She had been leaning against it, but immediately caught her balance and hugged me. I had caught a glimpse of her sad, tear filled eyes. I knew that was my fault. I made her upset.
I didn't really hug back, and that didn't go unnoticed.
It was like I could see her heart breaking as she pulled away and looked into my eyes.
"I didn't give her an answer." Mom finally said something.
My eyebrows furrowed. "Why didn't you say yes?" For some reason, I had already decided she had said yes before she even told me what she responded. I guess you could say I get a little ahead of myself. But, it made sense for Mom to say yes. They were basically already girlfriends according to my standards. Mom was happy with Callie. Callie was good for her.
Mom sat on the edge of my bed. "If you had let me finish, I would have told you that I was waiting to ask you how you felt." She rested her elbows on her knees. "I'm going to take all of this as a no?"
"No, no! That's not..." I sighed, I didn't know what to say. I did however, immediately feel like the most horrible daughter ever. She was asking me what I thought and I just ran off.
"I thought you told me you liked her, Olive. It's okay if you don't, but I wish you had been honest with me, then."
My mom's willingness to sacrifice her own happiness for mine made me upset. Then again, wasn't that what I had been doing until our talk just twenty minutes ago? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
It also angered me. That she would be willing to let go of someone who made her so happy because of me. It seemed silly. Stupid.
"I do like her, and it's so obvious that you like her. So, for the sake of both of us, say yes." I finally spoke up.
"Olivia."
"Mom." I mimicked.
"Olivia." She said more firmly, tilting her head.
"What?"
"I need you to be honest with me."
"I am being honest. She seems nice, and she makes you happy. I like her." I wasn't lying. I did like Callie. I think I just... had some problems at the thought of sharing my Mom. And all the change that was bound to come with my mom having a girlfriend. But, that I could handle. Hopefully.
"Promise?"
"I promise Mom."
"Why did you run off then?" She wasn't angry, just worried. I could see it all over her face.
I shrugged.
My mom waited a moment, and then spoke, "I promise you that if I do say yes, it won't change anything. What I said earlier about spending more time with you still stands."
"You're gonna say yes, right?"
"If you're absolutely sure you're okay with that." She kept trying to make sure I was ok with it.
"I am. You should go call her or something, ya know, tell her."
"What? No. This is my time with you." Clearly that conversation from a few minutes ago stuck with her.
"Mom..."
"Are you hungry? We can make pancakes together!" Mom quickly changed the subject, letting me know that refusing was not an option.
Mom knew what I needed- some time with her. She knew me too well.
I smiled, "Pancakes sound good."
"That's my girl!" Mom stood up and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to her and kissing the side of my head. "I love you, Olive. I hope you know that."
"I know..." I leaned against her. "I love you too."
She squeezed me tight for another few seconds before we both headed toward the kitchen.
"Blueberry or Chocolate chip?" Mom asked as she started to get out the ingredients.
"Both?" I suggested. She smiled, nodded, and finished getting things out.
I couldn't help but smile. I felt like Mom was really there with me. No distractions. I missed that, as selfish as it sounds.
I've concluded that it totally is an only child thing. All of my life I have been the person my mom gave 1000% of her attention to. Now, someone else is in the picture, and I need to share the attention.
Was I jealous?
Probably, a little bit.
It was going to be a big adjustment, but, I was glad I talked with Mom about it. At least she kind of knows how I feel now. Not fully. I don't want to make her feel bad. I have a feeling that if I told her I was having trouble with the idea of "sharing" her, she would just cut all strings with Callie. I didn't want that. And I didn't like the idea that I had that much power over her relationship.